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Whn do you consider the right time to marry?

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  • Whn do you consider the right time to marry?

    :salams:

    Just wanted to get an idea about the different views from members when they think they're personally ready or feel things should be generally done for marriage. Your points should include your personal circumstances, culture and religious concerns etc. if you can

    After all, we know how many different aspects can affect when one feels 'ready' but unable to marry due to external factors. So what factors all have to be in place before you consider yourself ready?
    I write novels for posts. Beware. :mujahida:

    Ummah Forum seems pretty black and white. Was thinking of offering Skittles as Dawah to introduce a rainbow.

  • #2
    Re: Whn do you consider the right time to marry?

    Maturity - they understand there is more to marriage than sex.
    Stability - the man has financial stability. ( when people hear this, they think " oh he got to have a house plus a brand new 2015 BMW"....no , he gotta be able to take care of his house without running to papa for help")
    3. After they learn how to cook, clean. ( if you can't do thos, marriage shouldn't be on your radar, even little 8 year olds can cook .)

    Comment


    • #3
      Re: Whn do you consider the right time to marry?

      When you have the right mindset and when a person understands their responsibilities in marriage .
      Ya Allah,
      Make me a stronger person today. Make me a better person out of all these. It is no longer bearable for me for my heart is aching and You are the only One who knows how I feel. Nothing is making sense to myself and for anyone else for that matter especially to the one person I wish to understand me better than anybody else.
      "Don't use the sharpness of your tongue on the mother who taught you how to speak

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      • #4
        Re: Whn do you consider the right time to marry?

        ^ What they said.

        Also, I would add to that when you become an adult member of your household e.g. you help with the bills, you do the shopping, you take your mother to appointments, you cook, you clean, you can manage your finances etc. I thought I was ready to get married until I realised how many responsibilities my parents have and hide from me. Alhamdullilah, growing up and taking my share of the burden has given me new-found gratefulness to Allah fro giving me such wonderful parents and also, I hope, prepared me for the everyday practicalities of being married.
        And when it is said to them, "Do not cause corruption on the earth," they say, "We are but reformers." (11) Unquestionably, it is they who are the corrupters, but they perceive [it] not. (12) - Surat al-Baqarah
        http://www.ummzakiyyah.com/polygamy_not_my_problem/

        Comment


        • #5
          Re: Whn do you consider the right time to marry?

          Originally posted by EenieMeanie View Post
          ^ What they said.

          Also, I would add to that when you become an adult member of your household e.g. you help with the bills, you do the shopping, you take your mother to appointments, you cook, you clean, you can manage your finances etc. I thought I was ready to get married until I realised how many responsibilities my parents have and hide from me. Alhamdullilah, growing up and taking my share of the burden has given me new-found gratefulness to Allah fro giving me such wonderful parents and also, I hope, prepared me for the everyday practicalities of being married.
          So would you agree that marrying someone off just as she matures is a bad idea? At age 16 or so perhaps? I think a person is not allowed to make such decisions at such a young age.

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          • #6
            Re: Whn do you consider the right time to marry?

            When you can handle a joint life.

            Comment


            • #7
              Re: Whn do you consider the right time to marry?

              Originally posted by ashmeo View Post
              So would you agree that marrying someone off just as she matures is a bad idea? At age 16 or so perhaps?
              Not necessarily a bad idea.
              And girls mature at most at 13

              Comment


              • #8
                Re: Whn do you consider the right time to marry?

                Exactly my point. It may have been like that in the past. But now, I feel like they should be more informed before making decisions instead of rushing them into marriage which would cause regrets later.

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                • #9
                  Re: Whn do you consider the right time to marry?

                  When you can provide for her financially
                  They say good things come to those who wait, so imma be at least an hour late

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Re: Whn do you consider the right time to marry?

                    Originally posted by ashmeo View Post
                    So would you agree that marrying someone off just as she matures is a bad idea? At age 16 or so perhaps? I think a person is not allowed to make such decisions at such a young age.
                    At age 16, I thought I was mature but looking back I realise that if I had got married that young, my marriage would not necessarily have failed, but the realities of married life would have definitely come as a big shock.

                    16 year-old me would have been out here like :scratch:: "What do you mean pot noodles doesn't count as a home-cooked meal?! What do you mean, I have to actually go to the shops to buy groceries - you mean the fridge doesn't just refill automatically? What do you mean, I can't lounge around in my trackie bottoms and watch Jezza all day?!" and so on and so forth...:rofl1:
                    And when it is said to them, "Do not cause corruption on the earth," they say, "We are but reformers." (11) Unquestionably, it is they who are the corrupters, but they perceive [it] not. (12) - Surat al-Baqarah
                    http://www.ummzakiyyah.com/polygamy_not_my_problem/

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Re: Whn do you consider the right time to marry?

                      I think the top 3 are definitely:

                      1. Tries to establish and maintain a good solid relationship with Allah prior to going into a marriage- the marriage will have more barakah and guidance iA.
                      2. Independent - I think it's important for a woman to be educated or working before going into a marriage. There may be circumstances where in the marriage, the wife may have to be the 2nd source of income. Or another situation may be that the husband ends up being a real JERK and treats her like crap because she has no "qualifications" such as an education. it would be the worst thing to be dependent on him since she has no education or work to go her own way.
                      3. Confidence/Maturity- It's important for a woman to be confident with who she is as a person before taking on the role of being a wife, daughter-in-law...a mother.
                      Indeed we belong to Allah,
                      and indeed to Him we will return.


                      Quran 2:156

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        Re: Whn do you consider the right time to marry?

                        Originally posted by patient believer View Post
                        When you have the right mindset and when a person understands their responsibilities in marriage .
                        I concur. just need to add for the guys: when you are able to financially provide, bench at least 200 lbs, run a mile under 8 min, and know how to make a campfire
                        Last edited by ss91; 11-10-15, 08:30 PM.
                        "The duty of the man who investigates the writings of scientists, if learning the truth is his goal, is to make himself an enemy of all that he reads, and,.. attack it from every side. He should also suspect himself as he performs his critical examination of it, so that he may avoid falling into either prejudice or leniency."
                        -Alhazen Ibn Al-Haythem

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                        • #13
                          Re: Whn do you consider the right time to marry?

                          Black Friday in America. everything is at a discount

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            Re: Whn do you consider the right time to marry?

                            this is a hard qs. a guy should be mentally, physically and financially ready. he should want to marry
                            a female should be mentally and physically ready, and want to marry
                            both should be pious insha ' allah, and have looked at/willing to look at Islamic marriage rights, responsibilities, etiquettes etc

                            age isn't a massive deal, as varies greatly between individuals.
                            when you've found the right person, because its half of deen, you can't just marry anyone, and compromise on character, piety, etc
                            so r.e the qs in the op, my culture doesn't constrain me in any way, nothings prevented unless its unislamic, ofcourse
                            also domestic wise, peeps say females should learn to cook pre marriage, but loadz of my relatives have learnt post marriage.
                            religious concerns would be a worry.
                            And with Him are the keys of the Ghayb (all that is hidden), none knows them but He. And He knows whatever there is in the land and in the sea; not a leaf falls, but He knows it. There is not a grain in the darkness of the earth nor anything fresh or dry, but is written in a Clear Record”
                            [al-An’aam 6:59]

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              Re: Whn do you consider the right time to marry?

                              Originally posted by Creamcake View Post
                              this is a hard qs. a guy should be mentally, physically and financially ready. he should want to marry
                              a female should be mentally and physically ready, and want to marry
                              both should be pious insha ' allah, and have looked at/willing to look at Islamic marriage rights, responsibilities, etiquettes etc

                              age isn't a massive deal, as varies greatly between individuals.
                              when you've found the right person, because its half of deen, you can't just marry anyone, and compromise on character, piety, etc
                              so r.e the qs in the op, my culture doesn't constrain me in any way, nothings prevented unless its unislamic, ofcourse
                              also domestic wise, peeps say females should learn to cook pre marriage, but loadz of my relatives have learnt post marriage.
                              religious concerns would be a worry.
                              I write novels for posts. Beware. :mujahida:

                              Ummah Forum seems pretty black and white. Was thinking of offering Skittles as Dawah to introduce a rainbow.

                              Comment

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