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Is "marrying the wrong person" absurd?

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  • Is "marrying the wrong person" absurd?

    Assalamu 'alaykum,

    If our spouse has been destined then is there such thing as marrying the wrong person? I mean, your marriage could be bad but that doesn't the person is "wrong", right?
    I'm on a strict time management regiment and have to limit my time online. Therefore I have to reply selectively. Please don't be offended if I ignore your questions. :jkk:

  • #2
    Re: Is "marrying the wrong person" absurd?

    It depends on what you mean by wrong. When people say that then usually they'd mean that their spouse is no good, and that they made a poor choice, which could be true.

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    • #3
      Re: Is "marrying the wrong person" absurd?

      Originally posted by quark View Post
      It depends on what you mean by wrong. When people say that then usually they'd mean that their spouse is no good, and that they made a poor choice, which could be true.
      But even if it's technically a choice, ultimately it's the one who's been destined for you, right?
      I'm on a strict time management regiment and have to limit my time online. Therefore I have to reply selectively. Please don't be offended if I ignore your questions. :jkk:

      Comment


      • #4
        Re: Is "marrying the wrong person" absurd?

        Originally posted by budi.sudaryo View Post
        But even if it's technically a choice, ultimately it's the one who's been destined for you, right?
        someone may be written for you even if they are horrible, you can't use destiny as an argument
        You think you know more than my scholar's qiyās? He was more learned than you and all other scholars combined. Yeah, the devil was the greatest scholar too and look where his qiyās of fire being better than tīn got him. Sorry.

        You follow your scholar's qiyās, and I will follow the Qur'ān and Sunnah.

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        • #5
          Re: Is "marrying the wrong person" absurd?

          You gotta do extensive research.
          https://www.ummah.com/forum/forum/lo...-qur-an-courseI am just a simple nomad.

          Ephemeral reader

          Comment


          • #6
            Re: Is "marrying the wrong person" absurd?

            Originally posted by Linkdeutscher View Post
            someone may be written for you even if they are horrible, you can't use destiny as an argument
            Agree with this.

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            • #7
              Re: Is "marrying the wrong person" absurd?

              Originally posted by happylover2 View Post
              Agree with this.
              yes this destiny word seems to give some mythical/fantasy vibe sort of, which is not true in Islam.
              You think you know more than my scholar's qiyās? He was more learned than you and all other scholars combined. Yeah, the devil was the greatest scholar too and look where his qiyās of fire being better than tīn got him. Sorry.

              You follow your scholar's qiyās, and I will follow the Qur'ān and Sunnah.

              Comment


              • #8
                Re: Is "marrying the wrong person" absurd?

                Originally posted by Linkdeutscher View Post
                yes this destiny word seems to give some mythical/fantasy vibe sort of, which is not true in Islam.
                Exactly! I mean that way, we can use destiny to defend everything we do, right or wrong, without saying we made the bad decision, choice, as it was written for us.

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                • #9
                  Re: Is "marrying the wrong person" absurd?

                  :salams

                  I have been thinking about this question a lot lately.

                  I don't think you can marry the wrong person. I think like everything in life, there is a lesson in it for you to learn if you made a poor choice. Something you didn't see, something you did see but chose to ignore, something you chose because you accepted less than...whatever reason, there is a lesson in it for us.

                  Does that mean it was the right person because you learned something valuable even though it hurt?

                  Now there's a question!




                  #philosophy
                  #marriage
                  #life


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                  • #10
                    Re: Is "marrying the wrong person" absurd?

                    Everything is destined, but we also have choice. Make your decisions and live with them. If you chose a bad or wrong person, that was your choice. It was also destined. It's called a paradox. Don't dwell on it. Try making the right choice.
                    I write novels for posts. Beware. :mujahida:

                    Ummah Forum seems pretty black and white. Was thinking of offering Skittles as Dawah to introduce a rainbow.

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Re: Is "marrying the wrong person" absurd?

                      Tbh we just gotta try our best to marry someone who is good, but ofcourse we are limited in knowledge, and only Allah S.W.T knows the unseen
                      We are created in pairs, if we combine actively searching via halal methods, research through the wali, Istikhaara, Du'aa, and marrying a pious Muslim, there's not really a lot more we can do. Everything is Allah S.W.T will, and aslong as we have not leapt into a silly decision knowingly, the rest is out of our control.
                      Allahu Alam.
                      And with Him are the keys of the Ghayb (all that is hidden), none knows them but He. And He knows whatever there is in the land and in the sea; not a leaf falls, but He knows it. There is not a grain in the darkness of the earth nor anything fresh or dry, but is written in a Clear Record
                      [al-Anaam 6:59]

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                      • #12
                        Re: Is "marrying the wrong person" absurd?

                        Destiny can be shaped, it can be shaped by dua.

                        It is your free will that decides the outcome.
                        https://www.ummah.com/forum/forum/lo...-qur-an-courseI am just a simple nomad.

                        Ephemeral reader

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          Re: Is "marrying the wrong person" absurd?

                          And what about the saying, "whatever that's been written for you won't escape you no matter how hard you avoid it, and whatever that's not been written for you won't get to you however hard you try"?
                          I'm on a strict time management regiment and have to limit my time online. Therefore I have to reply selectively. Please don't be offended if I ignore your questions. :jkk:

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            Re: Is "marrying the wrong person" absurd?

                            :salams
                            If they're destined are they the wrong one? It may seem like it initially but if Ishtikara says otherwise, does it really make them wrong ??

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                            • #15
                              Re: Is "marrying the wrong person" absurd?

                              Originally posted by budi.sudaryo View Post
                              Assalamu 'alaykum,

                              If our spouse has been destined then is there such thing as marrying the wrong person? I mean, your marriage could be bad but that doesn't the person is "wrong", right?
                              :wswrwb:

                              Agreed

                              There's no wrong person only wrong choices..
                              sigpic

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