Ads by Muslim Ad Network

Announcement

Collapse
No announcement yet.

Will I be sinning against my mum if I go ahead with the marriage?

Collapse
X
 
  • Filter
  • Time
  • Show
Clear All
new posts

  • Will I be sinning against my mum if I go ahead with the marriage?

    Assalamu alaikum.

    My mum introduced me to a lady who happens to be her friends daughter and wanted us to get married. I accepted, first because i also liked liked the lady and secondly to please my mum. The lady later called me to tell me she was not interested in me and didn't want to marry me. I accepted and respected her decision.
    My mum went and brought another lady again who is another friends daughter. This time I explained to her that I did not like that girl and had also found someone who is from a respected and religious family.
    Now my mum says she will not support my marriage to any girl unless her friends daughter. My dad who lives far from us supports my mum even though he doesn't know the lady.
    I went and complained to my uncles and our family head who have all said my mum has no right in that regards and have done their investigation on the lady I found and have approved of her. The family head together with my uncles and aunties are all in support and want to start the process for our marriage.
    WILL I BE SINNING IN ISLAM IF I GO AHEAD AND MARRY THIS LADY I LOVE EVEN THOUGH MY MOTHER IA AGAINST IT?

    Jazakullah hair.

    Assalamu alaikum

  • #2
    Re: Will I be sinning against my mum if I go ahead with the marriage?

    :wswrwb: sorry I am confused ...too many ladies in the post...the one you rejected is the one you are being forced into a marriage with? A man does not need to ask his mother's permission but at the same time I wouldn't go it alone...try and get your uncles to sit with your mother and explain to her the decision you wish to make...also ask your mother would she not prefer that you go into a marriage which you are happy with rather than one you do not feel good about. Do istikhara and inshallah all will go well..#Ask your mother why she is so adamant on you marrying her friend's daughter..these outdated pracrtises of forced marriages needs to be left in the past...does this girl even want to marry a man who is being forced..
    Women lost their modesty when men lost their gheerah..” .

    Comment


    • #3
      Wow so sad !!!

      Comment


      • #4
        Re: Will I be sinning against my mum if I go ahead with the marriage?

        Thank you for your response.
        Yes, the one I rejected is the one am being forced to marry. She says she and her friend have come a long way and she thinks her friends daughter is a good girl and the best person for me
        And I have spoken and pleaded and and cried to my mother just for her to understand but she says the only thing that will make her happy is for me to marry her friends daughter.
        my uncles have spoken to her and she still says its her friends daughter she wants me to marry.
        I have done istikhara and my friends have also helped me in that regards. I have tried all sort of measures and even getting elders to speak to her but she wouldn't listen.
        This is really taking a toll on me.

        Comment


        • #5
          Re: Will I be sinning against my mum if I go ahead with the marriage?

          So what if their friendship has come a long way ? The point of being friends with someone is not that you can hand off your daughter to them when they reach the appropriate age..how does she know it will have a positive outcome...I have seen siblings torn apart because their children married each other and then divorced or had major arguments.
          Is the girl that you wantto marry ok with marrying you despite your mother being against it? What do her family say?
          Women lost their modesty when men lost their gheerah..” .

          Comment


          • #6
            Re: Will I be sinning against my mum if I go ahead with the marriage?

            The lady is fine with it and her parents are ok with it. Everyone from her family and my family are ok with it apart from my mum and dad

            Comment


            • #7
              Re: Will I be sinning against my mum if I go ahead with the marriage?

              Originally posted by Zarzi View Post
              The lady is fine with it and her parents are ok with it. Everyone from her family and my family are ok with it apart from my mum and dad
              Tell your mother to meet the lady and her family...tell her you met the potentials she set out for you with respect now they should meet your choice..then ask her tell me what is wrong with her...hopefully there will be no religious faults..say you want to marry a woman who is more islamicallt inclined and you have found this one to be..
              Women lost their modesty when men lost their gheerah..” .

              Comment


              • #8
                Re: Will I be sinning against my mum if I go ahead with the marriage?

                hmmmm, she doesn't want to meet her. She says she has taken her stand. Its either her friends daughter or she doesn't want to her about any girl.

                Comment


                • #9
                  Re: Will I be sinning against my mum if I go ahead with the marriage?

                  NO .

                  Do not became a victim of this emotional blackmail.

                  You will marry someone you do not like , and later will regret , and this would be unfair on your wife as well.

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Will I be sinning against my mum if I go ahead with the marriage?

                    Wa Alaykumussalam
                    You're not sinning
                    Marriage isnt a month or year thing...its for lifetime Insha ' Allah
                    So dont feel guilty or blackmailed Into marrying someone that you dont want to marry
                    Sit down n speak to ur mum about this sis..seriously.

                    Brother how can u spend ur life with someone you dont wanna marry?
                    The simple answer is you can't.
                    We have a choice in these matters
                    So please speak up,marriage is half of deen,lets all go into it with the right frame of mind Insha ' Allah

                    Keep us updated pls
                    And with Him are the keys of the Ghayb (all that is hidden), none knows them but He. And He knows whatever there is in the land and in the sea; not a leaf falls, but He knows it. There is not a grain in the darkness of the earth nor anything fresh or dry, but is written in a Clear Record”
                    [al-An’aam 6:59]

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Re: Will I be sinning against my mum if I go ahead with the marriage?

                      Actually your parents are wrongdoing on this one, not you.

                      Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him): “We do not think there is anything better for two who love one another than marriage.” (Narrated by Ibn Maajah, 1847; classed as saheeh by al-Busayri and al-Albaani in al-Silsilah al-Saheehah, 624.

                      Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “There is nothing like marriage for two who love one another.” Narrated by Ibn Majaah (1847) and classed as saheeh by al-Buwaysiri and by al-Albaani in al-Silsilah al-Saheehah (624).

                      Shaykh al-Islam Ibn Taymiyah said:

                      The parents do not have the right to force their child to marry someone whom he does not want, and if he refuses he is not being disobedient towards them, as is the case when he does not eat what he does not want.

                      But if the family make a bad choice, or they make a good choice but the husband does not agree with it, then this marriage is most likely doomed to failure and instability, because the marriage that is based on lack of interest usually is not stable. -IslamQA fatwa 23420


                      You should fully control your own destiny, this is the wife you share not only the dunya but the akhira with, and if she has no real religious issues about the girl you want then she has no authority to say much on it. I would push more for your rights, and be patient with your parents trying to explain your rights, and your wants in this life. In time there is a good chance your parents will change their minds about her if she is a good religious girl.
                      If you end up marrying someone you didn't want, maybe she didn't want it either and now two people are brought into a life both didn't ask for...which can be doomed to divorce, or it has the hope of building a connection. Personally I wouldn't want to marry someone, than have those thoughts of: What if I married the other girl.....what would like be like if I married her instead.....

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        Re: Will I be sinning against my mum if I go ahead with the marriage?

                        Sometimes what you want is bad for you and what you don't want is good for you.. Maybe your lack in experience might make you choose the wrong one.. You can't possibly know until you sit down and face the facts. Do you know that sister which you want to marry well?? How's her family? Ect marriage is not based on feelings alone.. You need to research about her and her family.. See her qualities.. How does she follow Islam.. How does she react when angry.. How is she around children ect..

                        Research them both and then decide.
                        I love you, cherish you and worship you,
                        Guide me on your path to your janna,
                        Unite me beside you My King and all mighty,


                        :love:Allah:love:

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          Re: Will I be sinning against my mum if I go ahead with the marriage?

                          Why do parents make it about them? She wants it to happen n to make HERself happy, but what about the childs happiness??

                          Consult an Alim and see what he says....and the course of action to take.
                          Allah is always watching [VIDEO]

                          How To Weep For The Fear Of Allah

                          Please remember to share these links with people you know so they can also benefit from them. :jkk:

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            Re: Will I be sinning against my mum if I go ahead with the marriage?

                            Assalamu alaikum
                            May Allah (SWT) bless you all for the response. Its really given me some hope and relieve and In Sha Allah i will do as you all have advised. I will also certainly keep you updated In Sha Allah.
                            Jakazallahu khair

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              Re: Will I be sinning against my mum if I go ahead with the marriage?

                              Why is your mother disapproving of the girl you like? Has she pointed out any flaws in the girl or given any reasons as to why she is unsuitable? If not, then I think you should consider just marrying the girl that you like but you should also consider moving away from your parents' house in that case cos' it would be unfair to expect your wife to live with someone who wants to get rid of her.
                              The Lyme Disease pandemic: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z5u73ME4sVU

                              Comment

                              Working...
                              X