Ads by Muslim Ad Network

Announcement

Collapse
No announcement yet.

Is it too late for me now?

Collapse
X
 
  • Filter
  • Time
  • Show
Clear All
new posts

  • Is it too late for me now?

    Salaam.

    I have a very unique situation and I needed advise/help or just a helpful sounding board.

    I am a 52 year old man, no longer young as I once was. My issue is that I never married in my youth for several reasons. I lived with my parents and took care of them in their old age, a responsibility I no longer have. In addition to that, I did not and still don't have much money. I was also very aloof in the sense that while my friends had girlfriends or had their parents introduce them to girls, I was never very skilled in that department. I also had very unreasonable and foolish expectations back then and rejected the few girls my parents suggested I meet because they weren't up to my superficial standard of beauty. My parents gave up on me marrying in the end. Eventually, by my 30s I focused my energy on on personal hobbies which no longer give me the satisfaction it did for the first few decades. Mostly though, I suspect I am lonely after finally be all alone for the first time in my life. I am in good health, but I know that will not last forever and I really don't want to be all by myself any longer. For this reason, I wish to get married even though I don't really have anything in common with women. The friends I once had have all been busy for years with their own families, and some of them are even grandparents now, mashAllah.

    But I am worried. Is it even possible to marry at such a late age? Would any muslim women even be interested in marrying somone who knows so little about marriage and women? Even in my youth I was not particularly handsome, I am sure I am even less so now at this age. And if it is possible, or even wise to marry, where would I begin? I don't know anyone who is single myself and my parents are no longer here to help.

    Appreciate any responses. Jazak Allah khair.

  • #2
    Re: Is it too late for me now?

    It's never too late as long as u alive .. lots of women your age are available .. lots of good years awaiting for u inshaAllah
    How merciful Allah on me by giving me respite,and I persist in my sins and Allah shields me

    Comment


    • #3
      Imagine if you live till 92 so don't give up and make dua to Allah to bless you with a good righteous wife (:

      Comment


      • #4
        Re: Is it too late for me now?

        It's not too late brother.. My dad married my mum when he was mid 60's... So keep looking and all will be well inshAllah
        I love you, cherish you and worship you,
        Guide me on your path to your janna,
        Unite me beside you My King and all mighty,


        :love:Allah:love:

        Comment


        • #5
          SubhanaAllah so your dad had you after the age of 60 or are you from a different mother?

          Comment


          • #6
            Re: Is it too late for me now?

            Brother it is never too late, actively search through halal methods, ofcourse you can still get married lots of people get married at this age, and Insha ' Allah may you be blessed with a wife and children that are the coolness and comfort of your eyes
            And with Him are the keys of the Ghayb (all that is hidden), none knows them but He. And He knows whatever there is in the land and in the sea; not a leaf falls, but He knows it. There is not a grain in the darkness of the earth nor anything fresh or dry, but is written in a Clear Record”
            [al-An’aam 6:59]

            Comment


            • #7
              Re: Is it too late for me now?

              Originally posted by Creamcake View Post
              Brother it is never too late, actively search through halal methods, ofcourse you can still get married lots of people get married at this age, and Insha ' Allah may you be blessed with a wife and children that are the coolness and comfort of your eyes
              Prolly too late for him to have kids. He'd need a wife that was 35 max and there aren't many 35 yo women who would marry a guy in his 50s. Most likely the woman would be older (40+) and be divorced or widowed with kids of her own already.

              But to the brother...keep rocking on dude. I am planning on marrying in my 50s too inshAllah, that way I'll only have to suffer for a few years, haha!

              Comment


              • #8
                Re: Is it too late for me now?

                Originally posted by Vitriolic_Sage View Post
                Prolly too late for him to have kids. He'd need a wife that was 35 max and there aren't many 35 yo women who would marry a guy in his 50s. Most likely the woman would be older (40+) and be divorced or widowed with kids of her own already.

                But to the brother...keep rocking on dude. I am planning on marrying in my 50s too inshAllah, that way I'll only have to suffer for a few years, haha!
                I don't think its too late for him to have children lol, some peeps between 30 and 40 would marry him, I know we might see that as a big age gap, but its quite common actually. because ppl are struggling searching these days both genders and ending up getting married older, but even if older/divorced can still have kids, just a bit less common.

                haha that's funny brother, marriage isn't suffering... despite uf showing that perspective are you really planning to marry in your 50s lol? so ur not really bothered about children... the thing is if a female wanted to get married at that age, it would be so much harder for her
                And with Him are the keys of the Ghayb (all that is hidden), none knows them but He. And He knows whatever there is in the land and in the sea; not a leaf falls, but He knows it. There is not a grain in the darkness of the earth nor anything fresh or dry, but is written in a Clear Record”
                [al-An’aam 6:59]

                Comment


                • #9
                  Re: Is it too late for me now?

                  Originally posted by Creamcake View Post
                  I don't think its too late for him to have children lol, some peeps between 30 and 40 would marry him, I know we might see that as a big age gap, but its quite common actually. because ppl are struggling searching these days both genders and ending up getting married older, but even if older/divorced can still have kids, just a bit less common.

                  haha that's funny brother, marriage isn't suffering... despite uf showing that perspective are you really planning to marry in your 50s lol? so ur not really bothered about children... the thing is if a female wanted to get married at that age, it would be so much harder for her
                  No I'm not really concerned about having children one way or the other. If I was married now, I'd probably be more interested in having them, but definitely at 50 its just too much hassel. And I have a medical condition that puts me at increased risk of not being able to have kids.

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Re: Is it too late for me now?

                    Originally posted by Vitriolic_Sage View Post
                    No I'm not really concerned about having children one way or the other. If I was married now, I'd probably be more interested in having them, but definitely at 50 its just too much hassel. And I have a medical condition that puts me at increased risk of not being able to have kids.
                    Salaams. Cool brother, I understand. I apologise, I wouldn't have mentioned that, if I knew. Insha ' Allah you are in the best of health, and may Allah S.W.T shower his blessings upon you, and upon all of us.
                    And with Him are the keys of the Ghayb (all that is hidden), none knows them but He. And He knows whatever there is in the land and in the sea; not a leaf falls, but He knows it. There is not a grain in the darkness of the earth nor anything fresh or dry, but is written in a Clear Record”
                    [al-An’aam 6:59]

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Re: Is it too late for me now?

                      Originally posted by Creamcake View Post
                      Salaams. Cool brother, I understand. I apologise, I wouldn't have mentioned that, if I knew. Insha ' Allah you are in the best of health, and may Allah S.W.T shower his blessings upon you, and upon all of us.
                      Its all good. No need to apologize. If I can't have kids, it could be the best thing ever!

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        Re: Is it too late for me now?

                        It's never too late. In sha Allah you will find someone.
                        "Try to distance yourself from everything that causes you worry and sadness, so that you may always live with peace of mind and an open and tranquil heart, seeking Allah and His worship and working on your worldly and otherworldly matters, for if you try this, you will find rest.

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          Re: Is it too late for me now?

                          Originally posted by Vitriolic_Sage View Post
                          Its all good. No need to apologize. If I can't have kids, it could be the best thing ever!
                          Salaams
                          cool brother and you're definitely right there too :) insha ' allah
                          And with Him are the keys of the Ghayb (all that is hidden), none knows them but He. And He knows whatever there is in the land and in the sea; not a leaf falls, but He knows it. There is not a grain in the darkness of the earth nor anything fresh or dry, but is written in a Clear Record”
                          [al-An’aam 6:59]

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            Re: Is it too late for me now?

                            Not too late at all brother.
                            Insha'allah you'll find what you're looking for.

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              Re: Is it too late for me now?

                              Originally posted by Ihram3891 View Post
                              Salaam.

                              I have a very unique situation and I needed advise/help or just a helpful sounding board.

                              I am a 52 year old man, no longer young as I once was. My issue is that I never married in my youth for several reasons. I lived with my parents and took care of them in their old age, a responsibility I no longer have. In addition to that, I did not and still don't have much money. I was also very aloof in the sense that while my friends had girlfriends or had their parents introduce them to girls, I was never very skilled in that department. I also had very unreasonable and foolish expectations back then and rejected the few girls my parents suggested I meet because they weren't up to my superficial standard of beauty. My parents gave up on me marrying in the end. Eventually, by my 30s I focused my energy on on personal hobbies which no longer give me the satisfaction it did for the first few decades. Mostly though, I suspect I am lonely after finally be all alone for the first time in my life. I am in good health, but I know that will not last forever and I really don't want to be all by myself any longer. For this reason, I wish to get married even though I don't really have anything in common with women. The friends I once had have all been busy for years with their own families, and some of them are even grandparents now, mashAllah.

                              But I am worried. Is it even possible to marry at such a late age? Would any muslim women even be interested in marrying somone who knows so little about marriage and women? Even in my youth I was not particularly handsome, I am sure I am even less so now at this age. And if it is possible, or even wise to marry, where would I begin? I don't know anyone who is single myself and my parents are no longer here to help.

                              Appreciate any responses. Jazak Allah khair.
                              Wa 'alaykum salaam wa-rahmatullah wa-barakatuh.

                              It's never too late; it's all a matter of if Allah wills.
                              You just do your part; however you can, in a halal way.

                              You mentioned that you rejected women before because of your superficial standard of beauty.
                              I hope that would be a lesson for you today (not trying to be mean, just being straight forward and realistic).
                              Don't be too picky. Focus on Deen and make sure there is some type of attraction; but don't be superficial.
                              Also, don't be picky y expecting the woman to be very young, never married with no children, etc.
                              Set a standard that you will not compromise (i.e. Deen, character, mutual attraction, hijab/niqab, or whatever you want that's important to you) without being unreasonable.

                              Make lots of du'a, ask friends and other family members, let your local masjid know if possible, etc.
                              If nothing works in that route, try a Muslim matrimonial (AVOID the ones with women inappropriately dressed and avoid chit chatting with women).
                              This route can be haram depending on how you do about it. Keep it clean and halal.
                              There's a site I've heard of that allows the man to contact the WALI directly instead of contacting the woman.
                              Id I'm not mistaking, it's PureMatrimonial.

                              May Allah grant you better than you wish for.
                              *"None of you truly believes until he loves for his brother what he loves for himself."* [Al-Bukhari & Muslim]
                              "Mindless are those who only jump when told to jump, cry when told to cry, and laugh when told to laugh. Indeed, they are but sheep." TheStrivingUmmi

                              Comment

                              Working...
                              X