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Why do all most men want a fair skinned wife?

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  • #31
    Re: Why do all most men want a fair skinned wife?

    Originally posted by zantz View Post
    Wasnt yusuf as more beautiful and I hear houris are white like coral or pearls
    hadith also says that Prophet [saw] was the most beautiful; it says that the women who cut their hands at seeing Yusuf [as] would have put the knife through their livers at seeing the Prophet [saw]; I think the hadith was reported by Aisha [ra] ...

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    • #32
      Originally posted by Slave of Rehman View Post
      hadith also says that Prophet [saw] was the most beautiful; it says that the women who cut their hands at seeing Yusuf [as] would have put the knife through their livers at seeing the Prophet [saw]; I think the hadith was reported by Aisha [ra] ...

      Hmmm interesting but that must mean that yusuf as wasnt so beautiful as described since no one really cut there hands for the prophet :saw: right?

      Also can you show me this hadith plz
      [SIZE=3][FONT=Times New Roman][B][U][CENTER]Oh Allah, in your name, I die and live.[/CENTER][/U][/B][/FONT][/SIZE]
      [CENTER]:):lailah::lailah::lailah::lailah::)[/CENTER]

      [B][CENTER]Ya Allah, Grant Me A Heart That Sees[/CENTER][/B]

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      • #33
        Re: Why do all most men want a fair skinned wife?

        what does wheatish mean? Is it light brown?
        To answer OP, some people prefer fair skin not just because of the skin colour but the features that generally come along with it
        also when you say fair do you mean English people fair, or Asian people fair?

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        • #34
          Re: Why do all most men want a fair skinned wife?

          Yeah I remember a hadith saying that Yusuf A.S. was given half of the world's beauty.
          We can't even comprehend that level of beauty, that the women cut their hands at seeing Yusuf A.S
          Subhanallah
          And with Him are the keys of the Ghayb (all that is hidden), none knows them but He. And He knows whatever there is in the land and in the sea; not a leaf falls, but He knows it. There is not a grain in the darkness of the earth nor anything fresh or dry, but is written in a Clear Record”
          [al-An’aam 6:59]

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          • #35
            Re: Why do all most men want a fair skinned wife?

            Originally posted by Slave of Rehman View Post
            the light brown colour [the 'fair' that most muslims go for] is objectively the most beautiful colour

            I've only got a scholarly comment as evidence now but this should be good enough for the ahlus Sunnah taqlidi's:

            Shaykh Hamza Yusuf said that the Prophet [saw] was the best in everything, including his bodily features; he was neither too short nor too tall [so 'modest' in bodily features is considered the best here], his hair was neither too curly or too straight, and he was neither too dark or too light so this means he was light brown and this is the best colour; many hadiths say that Prophet [saw] was 'fair' skinned too
            To claim light brown skin is the best is a bit racist, isn't it? Islam rejects certain individuals or nations being favored because of their wealth, power, or race. God created human beings as equals who are to be distinguished from each other only on the basis of their faith and piety. The Prophet (صلی اللہ علیہ وسلم) said: "O people! Your God is one and your forefather (Adam) is one. An Arab is not better than a non Arab and a non Arab is not better than an Arab, and a red (i.e. white tinged with red) person is not better than a black person and a black person is not better than a red person, except in piety." If light skin was the best, then why are light skinned people treated that way? They have the same rights as any other beautiful person does. Again, this is all subjective.
            Has the time not come for those who have believed that their hearts should become humbly submissive at the remembrance of Allah and what has come down of the truth? And let them not be like those who were given the Scripture before, and a long period passed over them, so their hearts hardened; and many of them are defiantly disobedient. (57:16)

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            • #36
              Re: Why do all most men want a fair skinned wife?

              :wswrwb:

              Not all men are like that, many among my relatives and my husband's friends are married to not fair skinned ladies

              Even my own husband is fair and am not but that difference has never bothered us
              sigpic

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              • #37
                Re: Why do all most men want a fair skinned wife?

                Originally posted by Superwoman View Post
                what does wheatish mean? Is it light brown?
                To answer OP, some people prefer fair skin not just because of the skin colour but the features that generally come along with it
                also when you say fair do you mean English people fair, or Asian people fair?
                Some Asians could very well pass for Caucasians..light skinned, light eyes, light hair..
                sigpic

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                • #38
                  Originally posted by Slave of Rehman View Post
                  fair skin is more beutiful' that why; Allah says in Quran that their will be fair skin hourines in Jannah; you know why?; 'cause fair skin is the most beutifullest! [i.e, 'fair' here meaning light brown]
                  This is dangerous to do. You are not a scholar and have not studied under any shaykh so who are you to make such an inaccurate assumption of the meaning of this ayat? You know what this could do? Just think about all of the ayats that has been misinterpreted by the ignorant and how they used it to suit there sick desires and accomplish their deviant goals.

                  A whole genocide of any Individual that is not fair skinned can result marginalization discrimination all of this because "fair skinned is more beautiful because Allah said so in the Quran" as what you have interpreted. All of Allah's slaves are not fair skinned or as you say "light brown".

                  Bring me proof of the hour al ain being fair skinned(light brown) as you say. Also the proof for fair skinned being the most beautiful and that's why the hour al ain will be this.

                  How do you know that fair skinned is even referring to skin complexion?

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                  • #39
                    Re: Why do all most men want a fair skinned wife?

                    O Allah, I seek refuge in You from knowledge which does not benefit
                    The Prophet (saw) advised to: “Take benefit of five before five: Your youth before your old age, your health before your sickness, your wealth before your poverty, your free time before you are preoccupied, and your life before your death
                    https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCgE...kS-Qi3nf3tcvPw

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                    • #40
                      Re: Why do all most men want a fair skinned wife?

                      Originally posted by sistra View Post
                      Assalamu alaikum,

                      I am not fair skinned, have a wheatish to dark complexion. Apart from this I have no major flaws Alhamdulillah.... and yes I feel having a dark complexion is a flaw for women in the Indian Subcontinent.
                      My parents and I have been looking for a suitable match since the past 5 years... our experience has been really bad. Everyone want a fair skinned wife... deen, family status, education are secondary to this requirement. Getting married for me has become an impossible task. Everyone has been telling us to compromise on out standards of finding a groom and we have done that as well... we are ok if the person is not financially well off but we cannot compromise on education and behavior of the boy and his family.
                      Why is it that all compromises are made by the bride and her family.. people from the groom's family seem to have absolutely no consideration of the difficulties the other party might have to face and keep ordering the bride's family members and making all sort of difficult demands even if their 'boy' is not well settled or civilised. Even if the boy is a school passout , he should get a CAR on his wedding.
                      I am just so fed up of the hypocrisy in our society, i just want to give up on marriage and invest my effort in getting a better job and managing my own life.
                      Why is that a woman cannot live in this society if she is not married? Why does everyone go around telling her to just get married to anyone???
                      I'm so sorry you've only had negative experiences... I'm fair skinned but I love darker skins and wish I had olive skin.
                      “Ask forgiveness from your Lord. Indeed! He is Oft-Forgiving.” (71:10)

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                      • #41
                        Re: Why do all most men want a fair skinned wife?

                        Originally posted by zi-zizou View Post
                        :scratch:
                        It has been mentioned in many articles I have read in the past.
                        Men feel that it symbolises purity, modesty and innocence.
                        "Try to distance yourself from everything that causes you worry and sadness, so that you may always live with peace of mind and an open and tranquil heart, seeking Allah and His worship and working on your worldly and otherworldly matters, for if you try this, you will find rest.

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                        • #42
                          Re: Why do all most men want a fair skinned wife?

                          Originally posted by Slave of Rehman View Post
                          fair skin is more beutiful' that why; Allah says in Quran that their will be fair skin hourines in Jannah; you know why?; 'cause fair skin is the most beutifullest! [i.e, 'fair' here meaning light brown]
                          is this your way of saying that when Allah created people who are not fair skinned, they are not beautiful????
                          surely all of Allahs creation , yellow, dark, fair, pink is beautiful
                          Last edited by Muslima London; 14-09-15, 08:59 PM.
                          Ibnul Qayyim رحمه الله said: "Don’t ruin your happiness with worry, and don’t ruin your mind with pessimism. Don’t ruin your success with deception and don’t ruin the optimism of others by destroying it. Don’t ruin your day by looking back at yesterday.
                          __________________________________________________ _____________________________
                          If you think about your situation, you will find that Allaah (سبحانه وتعالى) has given you things without asking, so have trust in Allaah (سبحانه وتعالى) that He doesn’t prevent anything you want except there is goodness for you.

                          You could be sleeping and the doors of the heavens are being opened with dua’as being made on your behalf, SubhanAllaah: perhaps from someone poor whom you helped, or someone sad whom you brought joy, or someone passing by and you smiled at him, or someone in distress and you removed it.. so don’t ever underestimate any good deeds."



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                          • #43
                            Re: Why do all most men want a fair skinned wife?

                            Originally posted by sistra View Post
                            Assalamu alaikum,

                            I am not fair skinned, have a wheatish to dark complexion. Apart from this I have no major flaws Alhamdulillah.... and yes I feel having a dark complexion is a flaw for women in the Indian Subcontinent.
                            My parents and I have been looking for a suitable match since the past 5 years... our experience has been really bad. Everyone want a fair skinned wife... deen, family status, education are secondary to this requirement. Getting married for me has become an impossible task. Everyone has been telling us to compromise on out standards of finding a groom and we have done that as well... we are ok if the person is not financially well off but we cannot compromise on education and behavior of the boy and his family.
                            Why is it that all compromises are made by the bride and her family.. people from the groom's family seem to have absolutely no consideration of the difficulties the other party might have to face and keep ordering the bride's family members and making all sort of difficult demands even if their 'boy' is not well settled or civilised. Even if the boy is a school passout , he should get a CAR on his wedding.

                            Honest answer: Most men find light skin attractive just like most(all) women find tall men attractive. Not much you can do about it. We're created as different people. Likewise you have people who are more intelligent than others and so forth.



                            Dishonest answer: colonialism, racism, media, illuminati.

                            I am just so fed up of the hypocrisy in our society, i just want to give up on marriage and invest my effort in getting a better job and managing my own life.
                            Why is that a woman cannot live in this society if she is not married? Why does everyone go around telling her to just get married to anyone???

                            This is a different question but yeah, marriage is a much larger part in a woman's life than in a man's, not sure what the solution is:/

                            Comment


                            • #44
                              Re: Why do all most men want a fair skinned wife?

                              Originally posted by Green786 View Post
                              It has been mentioned in many articles I have read in the past.
                              Men feel that it symbolises purity, modesty and innocence.
                              Are those articles written by women by any chance?

                              I think it's just about attractiveness or perceived attractiveness. Maybe along with the fair complexion come other associated "appealing" features. However, there are men like me who are not too fussed and are happy/forced to cast a wide net. Not me of course as my net has been taken off me but you get my point.

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                              • #45
                                Re: Why do all most men want a fair skinned wife?

                                Originally posted by Muslima London View Post
                                is this your way of saying that when Allah created people who are not fair skinned, they are not beautiful????
                                surely all of Allahs creation , yellow, dark, fair, pink is beatifull.
                                We are all beautiful sis, we are all beautiful. Just some are more beautifuler than others

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