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Why do all most men want a fair skinned wife?

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  • Re: Why do all most men want a fair skinned wife?

    Originally posted by myeverything View Post
    he's now preparing dinner for his family .. wait for him to finish then he answers back and the show starts :)
    Originally posted by In my Opinion View Post
    Well, it's good to know he knows his place. In the kitchen.
    I was nicely tucked up in bed actually. I can't be batting away irrelevant women all the time. But I'm back now so if you can explain your gibberish, we can continue.

    Comment


    • Re: Why do all most men want a fair skinned wife?

      Originally posted by Hannahk92 View Post
      Sort your attitude out
      I see what he is trying to say but that could have been worded better

      in some of the African countries some don't look past the skin colour. literally all they see/care about is the skin colour.
      automatically light skin= beautiful, no questions asked. doesn't matter what the person actually looks like. which is ridiculous if they are after looks when it comes to things like marriage.
      and this isn't just men but even women amongst each other.
      They will praise the light skinned one and talk negatively about the dark skin one, when people ask them about another woman for marriage, some will encourage other not to marry a certain lady because she's dark. or she will speak negatively about her to the potentials family and others.

      to say people go for white to compensate their lack of taste is just wrong. There are people out there that prefer white/light skin just because that's what they like and there is absolutely nothing wrong with that.
      شَكَوْتُ إلَى وَكِيعٍ سُوءَ حِفْظِي
      فَأرْشَدَنِي إلَى تَرْكِ المعَاصي
      وَأخْبَرَنِي بأَنَّ العِلْمَ نُورٌ
      ونورُ الله لا يهدى لعاصي

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      • Re: Why do all most men want a fair skinned wife?

        Originally posted by myeverything View Post
        he's now preparing dinner for his family .. wait for him to finish then he answers back and the show starts :)
        Originally posted by Rumaysah~ View Post
        I see what he is trying to say but that could have been worded better

        in some of the African countries some don't look past the skin colour. literally all they see/care about is the skin colour.
        automatically light skin= beautiful, no questions asked. doesn't matter what the person actually looks like. which is ridiculous if they are after looks when it comes to things like marriage.
        and this isn't just men but even women amongst each other.
        They will praise the light skinned one and talk negatively about the dark skin one, when people ask them about another woman for marriage, some will encourage other not to marry a certain lady because she's dark. or she will speak negatively about her to the potentials family and others.

        to say people go for white to compensate their lack of taste is just wrong. There are people out there that prefer white/light skin just because that's what they like and there is absolutely nothing wrong with that.
        You seem to have your finger on the pulse. Any nations out there that like old men???

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        • Re: Why do all most men want a fair skinned wife?

          Originally posted by zi-zizou View Post
          You seem to have your finger on the pulse. Any nations out there that like old men???
          what are you talking about?
          this is only what I have seen myself from some people with this mentality. I'm not speaking for all nations and all people.
          شَكَوْتُ إلَى وَكِيعٍ سُوءَ حِفْظِي
          فَأرْشَدَنِي إلَى تَرْكِ المعَاصي
          وَأخْبَرَنِي بأَنَّ العِلْمَ نُورٌ
          ونورُ الله لا يهدى لعاصي

          Comment


          • Re: Why do all most men want a fair skinned wife?

            Originally posted by *aisha* View Post
            no one likes the beautiful olive tone? :(
            BismAllah. I know, its crazy! I wish I was caramel colored! Lucky my kids are viva LA mixed race babies
            BismAllah. Slave of Allah swt forever Forever a slave of Allah swt

            Comment


            • Re: Why do all most men want a fair skinned wife?

              Originally posted by Gingerbeardman View Post
              Wa alaykumus salaam,

              I find it interesting, that even though you rightly complain of non-islamic practices in selecting a spouse, you'd also not marry someone because they lack education in your eyes. We are meant to select based upon deen and character.

              Yes, a man who is not educated might not have a similar mental attitude, but then again he might.

              Personally when I was looking for marriage many years ago I was happy to marry any different race or shade and found such practices strange and ridiculous but you'd have rejected someone like me for 'lack of education' despite being considered intelligent and well spoken by most who know me.

              Sure there are many other similar brothers out there who you are not even willing to discuss marriage with, so please don't claim of non-islamic criteria in marriage when you apply it yourself.
              This is a good reply.

              Comment


              • Re: Why do all most men want a fair skinned wife?

                Originally posted by sistra View Post
                Assalamu alaikum,

                I am not fair skinned, have a wheatish to dark complexion. Apart from this I have no major flaws Alhamdulillah.... and yes I feel having a dark complexion is a flaw for women in the Indian Subcontinent.
                My parents and I have been looking for a suitable match since the past 5 years... our experience has been really bad. Everyone want a fair skinned wife... deen, family status, education are secondary to this requirement. Getting married for me has become an impossible task. Everyone has been telling us to compromise on out standards of finding a groom and we have done that as well... we are ok if the person is not financially well off but we cannot compromise on education and behavior of the boy and his family.
                Why is it that all compromises are made by the bride and her family.. people from the groom's family seem to have absolutely no consideration of the difficulties the other party might have to face and keep ordering the bride's family members and making all sort of difficult demands even if their 'boy' is not well settled or civilised. Even if the boy is a school passout , he should get a CAR on his wedding.
                I am just so fed up of the hypocrisy in our society, i just want to give up on marriage and invest my effort in getting a better job and managing my own life.
                Why is that a woman cannot live in this society if she is not married? Why does everyone go around telling her to just get married to anyone???
                as a side issue, would you yourself marry someone darker than you or of a different race?
                FOLLOW THE NEW BLOG - GINGERBEARDMAN - Muslim, father, husband, writer, defender of ginger rights!

                www.facebook.com/outreach4Islam - Outreach4Islam have been working together in Leicester, calling the not yet Muslims to Islam since 2006.

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                • Re: Why do all most men want a fair skinned wife?

                  sorry to hear that OP, I hope things get better for you

                  I have a friend who says similar things to what you're saying and she is dark skinned, I can see it knocking her confidence and she was VERY confident before, she looks like a model.
                  I knew they really did a number on her when we took a picture together and she couldnt hide how sad it made her, and she has never compared herself to me before because tbh I dont even come close so that's how I know how destructive this crap's been for her

                  I really really hope my friend finds someone soon who makes her happy, and you too!

                  surely you dont want anyone who sees colour before everything else though do you? tbh that comes across as quite dim to me, I think some of the comments you'll find in this very thread will also prove that. dim isnt attractive
                  Last edited by cho09082489; 16-09-15, 02:50 PM.

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                  • Re: Why do all most men want a fair skinned wife?

                    Looks like non-white people are being jealous of white folks..

                    One thing I also noticed on this thread is female solipsism. I mean its absolutely fine for females to reject men for being short, not educated enough , not having the right degree or job but its totally unacceptable for a man to reject for reasons such as not fair enough , fat , old and unfeminine.

                    I believe every women know(consciously or subconsciously) that her beauty and youth are the main factors which make her attractive. It's quite amusing to see different kinds of defense mechanism females employ in order to make themselves feel better. I mean I understand you want to feel better but why demonize men in the process ?
                    Last edited by TazZ-; 17-09-15, 06:56 AM.

                    Comment


                    • Re: Why do all most men want a fair skinned wife?

                      Originally posted by TazZ- View Post
                      Looks like non-white people are being jealous of white folks..

                      One thing I also noticed on this thread is female solipsism. I mean its absolutely fine for females to reject men for being short, not educated enough , not having the right degree or job but its totally unacceptable for a man to reject for reasons such as not fair enough , fat , old and unfeminine.

                      I believe every women know(consciously or subconsciously) that her beauty and youth are the main factors which makes her attractive. It's quite amusing to see different kinds of defense mechanism females employ in order to make themselves feel better. I mean I understand you want to feel better but why demonize men in the process ?
                      qft
                      You think you know more than my scholar's qiyās? He was more learned than you and all other scholars combined. Yeah, the devil was the greatest scholar too and look where his qiyās of fire being better than tīn got him. Sorry.

                      You follow your scholar's qiyās, and I will follow the Qur'ān and Sunnah.

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                      • Re: Why do all most men want a fair skinned wife?

                        Originally posted by Gingerbeardman View Post
                        as a side issue, would you yourself marry someone darker than you or of a different race?
                        1. Marry someone darker than me: Absolutely
                        2. Marry someone belonging to a different race: I am open to it but that would be my last resort because if the risks involved.

                        Comment


                        • Re: Why do all most men want a fair skinned wife?

                          Originally posted by sistra View Post
                          1. Marry someone darker than me: Absolutely
                          2. Marry someone belonging to a different race: I am open to it but that would be my last resort because if the risks involved.
                          What risks?
                          They say good things come to those who wait, so imma be at least an hour late

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                          • Re: Why do all most men want a fair skinned wife?

                            Have we arrived at any conclusions ?

                            Comment


                            • Re: Why do all most men want a fair skinned wife?

                              Originally posted by myeverything View Post
                              Well it's not everywhere for sure . Samin not totally wrong though .it can be a complex of inferiority resulted of being conolized long time as colony not a joke .It can affect language , culture and taste ( likes & dislikes )so may be the ancestors link being fair skinned to power , high class and superiority and being dark skinned which is their case to weakness , low class and being oppressed . As a result the following generation inherit such attitude till today and it can be a preference in other areas .

                              And no need to feel sad for op . she 's just venting but she can marry one of those who like chocolate girls :)
                              Do you have sisters? I have 3. Growing up with sisters and no brothers is not much fun when you are young, but when you grow up. you realize you learned something about how life is for women.

                              It's useful, too:)

                              Not that I KNOW how their lives are, but I am sensitive to it. I know what my sisters told me about being pursued by random dudes.....they were just looking for white girls, that was all they cared about. White.

                              That "colonized" BS is exactly BS. OWN IT. It is what it looks like - men like fairer women. Not ALL men, but a lot of them.

                              I am open to you telling me about a society where men chase after women with darker skin....I KNOW that some guys do, but that's not common. Tell me of a society where men pursue darker women.

                              Comment


                              • Re: Why do all most men want a fair skinned wife?

                                nvm
                                Last edited by Umm_Hanzalah; 19-09-15, 04:18 AM. Reason: Going round in circles
                                https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JZVEydn3RKk

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