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Does a husband have the right over his wife to make her have a baby?

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    Does a husband have the right over his wife to make her have a baby?

    Asalamu Aleikum, somewhere on the forum I read that in some case a man was refusing his wife a child but I was wondering if a husband could force his wife to become pregnant. If it is the right of a wife to have a baby, is it considered a man's choice aswell although ultimately the woman will be carrying the baby for months upon months and she will be the once to give birth? Thank you.
    Last edited by .khayriyyah.; 04-12-17, 03:35 AM.
    "Had Allah lifted the veil for his slave and shown him how He handles his affairs for him, and how Allah is more keen for the benefit of the slave than his own self, his heart would have melted out of the love for Allah and would have been torn to pieces out of thankfulness to Allah. Therefore if the pains of this world tire you do not grieve. For it may be that Allah wishes to hear your voice by way of duaa. So pour out your desires in prostration and forget about it and know; that verily Allah does not forget it."
    - Ibn al Qayyim (rahimahullah)

    #2
    Re: Does a husband have the right over his wife to make her have a baby?

    yes
    You think you know more than my scholar's qiyās? He was more learned than you and all other scholars combined. Yeah, the devil was the greatest scholar too and look where his qiyās of fire being better than tīn got him. Sorry.

    You follow your scholar's qiyās, and I will follow the Qur'ān and Sunnah.

    Comment


      #3
      Re: Does a husband have the right over his wife to make her have a baby?

      Originally posted by Linkdeutscher View Post
      yes
      Is there anything in the Quran or are there any hadiths that support this claim?
      "Had Allah lifted the veil for his slave and shown him how He handles his affairs for him, and how Allah is more keen for the benefit of the slave than his own self, his heart would have melted out of the love for Allah and would have been torn to pieces out of thankfulness to Allah. Therefore if the pains of this world tire you do not grieve. For it may be that Allah wishes to hear your voice by way of duaa. So pour out your desires in prostration and forget about it and know; that verily Allah does not forget it."
      - Ibn al Qayyim (rahimahullah)

      Comment


        #4
        Re: Does a husband have the right over his wife to make her have a baby?

        Originally posted by aidaalej View Post
        Asalamu Aleikum, somewhere on the forum I read that in some case a man was refusing his wife a child but I was wondering if a husband could force his wife to become pregnant. If it is the right of a wife to have a baby, is it considered a man's choice aswell although ultimately the woman will be carrying the baby for months upon months and she will be the once to force it out of her body? Thank you.
        :wswrwb:

        Define force, because babies don't magically appear like they do in the sims. Even if he says, "Baby now!" that doesn't necessarily mean that a baby will show up.

        I think before something like this gets solved it would be better if both parties had a heart to heart and discussed things, because the moment words like 'force' gets thrown into the mix then it's just a recipe for a disaster. A baby may come, but the wife and husband will resent each other and may divorce. Talk things over first, come to a compromise, and then see where it goes.
        مَّن ذَا الَّذِي يُقْرِضُ اللّهَ قَرْضًا حَسَنًا فَيُضَاعِفَهُ لَهُ أَضْعَافًا كَثِيرَةً وَاللّهُ يَقْبِضُ وَيَبْسُطُ وَإِلَيْهِ تُرْجَعُونَ

        "Who is he that will loan to Allah a beautiful loan, which Allah will double unto his credit and multiply many times?
        It is Allah that giveth (you) Want or plenty, and to Him shall be your return."
        Surah al-Baqarah
        [2:245]

        .:.
        .:. Perfer et Obdura : Dolor Hic Tibi Proderit Olim .:.
        Be patient and strong : someday this pain will be useful to you

        .:.
        ...said the spider to the fly...

        Comment


          #5
          Re: Does a husband have the right over his wife to make her have a baby?

          What did you think was going to happen after marriage?

          Comment


            #6
            Re: Does a husband have the right over his wife to make her have a baby?

            Originally posted by Pippin1376 View Post
            :wswrwb:

            Define force, because babies don't magically appear like they do in the sims. Even if he says, "Baby now!" that doesn't necessarily mean that a baby will show up.

            I think before something like this gets solved it would be better if both parties had a heart to heart and discussed things, because the moment words like 'force' gets thrown into the mix then it's just a recipe for a disaster. A baby may come, but the wife and husband will resent each other and may divorce. Talk things over first, come to a compromise, and then see where it goes.
            I mean force as in refusing to take precautions to reduce the chances conception although she said she wants to wait a bit further in the marriage to have children.
            Last edited by .khayriyyah.; 04-12-17, 03:36 AM.
            "Had Allah lifted the veil for his slave and shown him how He handles his affairs for him, and how Allah is more keen for the benefit of the slave than his own self, his heart would have melted out of the love for Allah and would have been torn to pieces out of thankfulness to Allah. Therefore if the pains of this world tire you do not grieve. For it may be that Allah wishes to hear your voice by way of duaa. So pour out your desires in prostration and forget about it and know; that verily Allah does not forget it."
            - Ibn al Qayyim (rahimahullah)

            Comment


              #7
              Re: Does a husband have the right over his wife to make her have a baby?

              Originally posted by btht View Post
              What did you think was going to happen after marriage?
              Read my latest post.
              "Had Allah lifted the veil for his slave and shown him how He handles his affairs for him, and how Allah is more keen for the benefit of the slave than his own self, his heart would have melted out of the love for Allah and would have been torn to pieces out of thankfulness to Allah. Therefore if the pains of this world tire you do not grieve. For it may be that Allah wishes to hear your voice by way of duaa. So pour out your desires in prostration and forget about it and know; that verily Allah does not forget it."
              - Ibn al Qayyim (rahimahullah)

              Comment


                #8
                Re: Does a husband have the right over his wife to make her have a baby?

                Originally posted by aidaalej View Post
                I mean force as in refusing to take precautions to reduce the chances of reproducing although she has clearly stated she wants to wait a bit further in the marriage to have children.
                no, she can't do that if the husband refuses
                You think you know more than my scholar's qiyās? He was more learned than you and all other scholars combined. Yeah, the devil was the greatest scholar too and look where his qiyās of fire being better than tīn got him. Sorry.

                You follow your scholar's qiyās, and I will follow the Qur'ān and Sunnah.

                Comment


                  #9
                  Re: Does a husband have the right over his wife to make her have a baby?

                  Originally posted by aidaalej View Post
                  I mean force as in refusing to take precautions to reduce the chances of reproducing although she has clearly stated she wants to wait a bit further in the marriage to have children.
                  Ah, okay so my comment still stands. Islamically, both spouses have a right to kids, but it's better for one's marriage to talk things out instead of demanding rights. Discuss why she wants to wait a few years and also discuss why he wants a child right away. Come to a proper compromise where both sides give and take a bit for the sake of your marriage. If stalling will ruin your marriage, then concede a bit. If wanting something right now when the other side doesn't will ruin your marriage, then concede a bit. The husband and wife are meant to be a garment to each other, so keep the garment nice and clean by airing out all of your grievances and working together to make it even better.
                  مَّن ذَا الَّذِي يُقْرِضُ اللّهَ قَرْضًا حَسَنًا فَيُضَاعِفَهُ لَهُ أَضْعَافًا كَثِيرَةً وَاللّهُ يَقْبِضُ وَيَبْسُطُ وَإِلَيْهِ تُرْجَعُونَ

                  "Who is he that will loan to Allah a beautiful loan, which Allah will double unto his credit and multiply many times?
                  It is Allah that giveth (you) Want or plenty, and to Him shall be your return."
                  Surah al-Baqarah
                  [2:245]

                  .:.
                  .:. Perfer et Obdura : Dolor Hic Tibi Proderit Olim .:.
                  Be patient and strong : someday this pain will be useful to you

                  .:.
                  ...said the spider to the fly...

                  Comment


                    #10
                    Re: Does a husband have the right over his wife to make her have a baby?

                    Originally posted by Linkdeutscher View Post
                    no, she can't do that if the husband refuses
                    But what do you have to back up you claim?
                    "Had Allah lifted the veil for his slave and shown him how He handles his affairs for him, and how Allah is more keen for the benefit of the slave than his own self, his heart would have melted out of the love for Allah and would have been torn to pieces out of thankfulness to Allah. Therefore if the pains of this world tire you do not grieve. For it may be that Allah wishes to hear your voice by way of duaa. So pour out your desires in prostration and forget about it and know; that verily Allah does not forget it."
                    - Ibn al Qayyim (rahimahullah)

                    Comment


                      #11
                      Re: Does a husband have the right over his wife to make her have a baby?

                      Originally posted by Pippin1376 View Post
                      Ah, okay so my comment still stands. Islamically, both spouses have a right to kids, but it's better for one's marriage to talk things out instead of demanding rights. Discuss why she wants to wait a few years and also discuss why he wants a child right away. Come to a proper compromise where both sides give and take a bit for the sake of your marriage. If stalling will ruin your marriage, then concede a bit. If wanting something right now when the other side doesn't will ruin your marriage, then concede a bit. The husband and wife are meant to be a garment to each other, so keep the garment nice and clean by airing out all of your grievances and working together to make it even better.
                      Okay, thank you.
                      "Had Allah lifted the veil for his slave and shown him how He handles his affairs for him, and how Allah is more keen for the benefit of the slave than his own self, his heart would have melted out of the love for Allah and would have been torn to pieces out of thankfulness to Allah. Therefore if the pains of this world tire you do not grieve. For it may be that Allah wishes to hear your voice by way of duaa. So pour out your desires in prostration and forget about it and know; that verily Allah does not forget it."
                      - Ibn al Qayyim (rahimahullah)

                      Comment


                        #12
                        Re: Does a husband have the right over his wife to make her have a baby?

                        should have been discussed before entered into the marriage

                        Comment


                          #13
                          Re: Does a husband have the right over his wife to make her have a baby?

                          Agreed, should be discussed before marriage because its important. And the best way to do this after marriage is again to discuss. Because if you try force anything on ur spouse, as in forcing your ideas on them as opposed to discussing, don't think will get either one very far, as someone might end up resentful. especially in big decisions. but I agree its a right of both genders to have children/choose to have children. yeah..like op said its the females body giving birth etc, but both are the parents of the child/would be children, so both should have an equal say. just my opinion.

                          Another thing to consider is that if she feels this constant pressure/stress, it might make it more difficult for her to become pregnant aswell. Thing is, I think unless the female has a genuine reason, like she's ill/sick, etc, or if they agreed, say if she's young and wanted to complete certain education first etc, then that's different. But except that, compromise is good, because children is one of the reasons for marriage, ofcourse lots of others too. But the phrasing here is not right 'make her have a baby' seems like force.

                          I mean so many times these days, people argue over this stuff, and will this not affect perhaps when the baby is born, treatment towards the child. Perhaps. So discussion always the best way forward, to understand and listen to each other, because I think a lot of marriage, or atleast some of it, will have to be compromise, because there are two people right, not one. Especially if their opinions differ. Also, perhaps the female is worried about not being able to cope with the baby/look after the child properly etc, and these are all natural/normal concerns, so it's kinda the duty of the husband to understand and talk and comfort her in these matters. And help with the upbringing ofcourse. Insha ' Allah.

                          p.s. sorry for grammatical typos in here, with tenses and all, I'm tired.
                          Last edited by Creamcake; 09-09-15, 12:17 AM.
                          And with Him are the keys of the Ghayb (all that is hidden), none knows them but He. And He knows whatever there is in the land and in the sea; not a leaf falls, but He knows it. There is not a grain in the darkness of the earth nor anything fresh or dry, but is written in a Clear Record”
                          [al-An’aam 6:59]

                          Comment


                            #14
                            Re: Does a husband have the right over his wife to make her have a baby?

                            Originally posted by aidaalej View Post
                            Asalamu Aleikum, somewhere on the forum I read that in some case a man was refusing his wife a child but I was wondering if a husband could force his wife to become pregnant. If it is the right of a wife to have a baby, is it considered a man's choice aswell although ultimately the woman will be carrying the baby for months upon months and she will be the once to force it out of her body? Thank you.
                            :wswrwb:

                            will such a child be loved or resented i wonder by either parent..human emotions are a weird thing

                            but to answer your Q, no the husband does not have the right to "make his wife have a baby", the man should not use force to get his way around and the lady should comply unless there's some genuine excuse/reason for her not to and even if she doesn't then the man should show a bit more understanding and/or not act like a brute for that would just makes matter worse

                            in any event- they should both be on the same page about matters like these
                            sigpic

                            Comment


                              #15
                              Does a husband have the right over his wife to make her have a baby?

                              If you're psychologically or emotionally not ready tell him. Be clear about your reasons with him and tell him when you will be ready to have children.

                              He then tells you where he stands and then you guys can move forward :insha:

                              He can decide to do many things but force you to get pregnant against your will is just a weird thing for him to insist on. Why would he force you if you say NO not now. He can persuade and even say no to contraceptives as that is his right but then you have other issues.

                              If he doesn't care about listening to you and coming to a mutual understanding about you not being ready then I hope you try to sort out your communication issues before getting pregnant.
                              ‘If only I had done such-and-such, then such-and-such would have happened.’ Rather you should say, ‘Qaddara Allah wa ma sha a fa’ala (Allah decrees, and what He wills He does),’ for (the words) ‘If only’ open the door to the Shaytan.” (Narrated by Muslim).

                              Comment

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