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How are brothers so patient when their wives are expecting?

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  • #76
    Re: How are brothers so patient when their wives are expecting?

    Originally posted by Abd al-Rahman View Post
    They dream about their second wife or soon to be second wife :banan:
    Loolz at this polygamy kinda dream comment. I was expecting it btw it took a while but it comes finally
    Mind u usually the second wife becomes only wife
    Just sayin^^
    How merciful Allah on me by giving me respite,and I persist in my sins and Allah shields me

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    • #77
      Re: How are brothers so patient when their wives are expecting?

      Originally posted by myeverything View Post
      Loolz at this polgamy comment. I was expecting it btw it took a while but it comes finally
      Mind u usually the second wife becomes only wife
      Just sayin^^
      Not if the first fears Allah(swt) and I intend to find a wife like that bi'ithnillah
      وَمَا قَدَرُوا اللَّهَ حَقَّ قَدْرِهِ وَالْأَرْضُ جَمِيعًا قَبْضَتُهُ يَوْمَ الْقِيَامَةِ وَالسَّمَاوَاتُ مَطْوِيَّاتٌ بِيَمِينِهِ ۚ سُبْحَانَهُ وَتَعَالَىٰ عَمَّا يُشْرِكُونَ
      They have not appraised Allah with true appraisal, while the earth entirely will be [within] His grip on the Day of Resurrection, and the heavens will be folded in His right hand. Exalted is He and high above what they associate with Him. (Az-Zumar: 67)

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      • #78
        Re: How are brothers so patient when their wives are expecting?

        Originally posted by Abd al-Rahman View Post
        Not if the first fears Allah(swt) and I intend to find a wife like that bi'ithnillah
        Not if the first states clearly before marriage as condition no co wife .

        hey I feel im helping u to speak polygamy the thread is about smth quite different .
        Plus I feel u just jokin but if u speak seriously
        May Allah help the woman u with or will be with :)
        How merciful Allah on me by giving me respite,and I persist in my sins and Allah shields me

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        • #79
          Re: How are brothers so patient when their wives are expecting?

          Originally posted by myeverything View Post
          Not if the first states clearly before marriage as condition no co wife .

          hey I feel im helping u to speak polygamy the thread is about smth quite different .
          Plus I feel u just jokin but if u speak seriously
          May Allah help the woman u with or will be with :)
          Lol you are right I wouldn't take a second wife just because my wife was prego....

          ....Or maybe I would, because thats my right as a man. Idk. But I don't have to know for sure.

          But I know I wouldn't marry a woman who tries to make a sunnah of Rasullulah :saw: haram for me, so no issue there.
          وَمَا قَدَرُوا اللَّهَ حَقَّ قَدْرِهِ وَالْأَرْضُ جَمِيعًا قَبْضَتُهُ يَوْمَ الْقِيَامَةِ وَالسَّمَاوَاتُ مَطْوِيَّاتٌ بِيَمِينِهِ ۚ سُبْحَانَهُ وَتَعَالَىٰ عَمَّا يُشْرِكُونَ
          They have not appraised Allah with true appraisal, while the earth entirely will be [within] His grip on the Day of Resurrection, and the heavens will be folded in His right hand. Exalted is He and high above what they associate with Him. (Az-Zumar: 67)

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          • #80
            Re: How are brothers so patient when their wives are expecting?

            Originally posted by Abd al-Rahman View Post
            Lol you are right I wouldn't take a second wife just because my wife was prego....

            ....Or maybe I would, because thats my right as a man. Idk. But I don't have to know for sure.

            But I know I wouldn't marry a woman who tries to make a sunnah of Rasullulah :saw: haram for me, so no issue there.

            On islamic note : no woman can turn a sunnah to haram for u .It's just a valid condition afterall it's up to u agree or refuse . So no worries AlhamduAllah in islam everything is clear :)
            Good luck
            How merciful Allah on me by giving me respite,and I persist in my sins and Allah shields me

            Comment


            • #81
              Re: How are brothers so patient when their wives are expecting?

              Originally posted by myeverything View Post
              On islamic note : no woman can turn a sunnah to haram for u .It's just a valid condition afterall it's up to u agree or refuse . So no worries AlhamduAllah in islam everything is clear :)
              Good luck
              I told him that before. But he doesn't want to believe women have a choice to opt for divorce over polygamy. Ruins the whole fantasy some men have going in their minds.
              O people who take pleasure in a life that will vanish, falling in love with a fading shadow is sheer stupidity~ Ibn Qayyim Al-Jawziyya

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              • #82
                Re: How are brothers so patient when their wives are expecting?

                Originally posted by *sheba* View Post

                Originally Posted by myeverything
                On islamic note : no woman can turn a sunnah to haram for u .It's just a valid condition afterall it's up to u agree or refuse . So no worries AlhamduAllah in islam everything is clear :)
                Good luck


                I told him that before. But he doesn't want to believe women have a choice to opt for divorce over polygamy. Ruins the whole fantasy some men have going in their minds.
                Subhan Allah... give me some evidence.
                "The only one who will not break ur heart is the one who made it"

                FriEND..BestfriEND..GirlfriEND..BoyfriEND..Everyth ing comes to an END... Except Allah ﷻ strengthen your love for the One who created your heart.

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                • #83
                  Re: How are brothers so patient when their wives are expecting?

                  Originally posted by talibeilm100 View Post
                  Subhan Allah... give me some evidence.
                  there are two separate things here, as taught to me.

                  a woman who doesn't specify in her nikah contract that she would like the right to leave/stay if husband remarries, can only request a divorce if polygamy is affecting her mental/emotional/physical health or iman.

                  second option is when a woman puts it down on her contract that she is free to divorce/stay with husband if he chooses to remarry and he agrees to such a stipulated condition. in that case according to 2 madhabs (I think its 2) this condition is valid and if husband remarries she has the right to leave him or stay with him depending on what she wants.

                  basically Islam doesn't force polygamy on those who dont want it and the above gives women a choice in the type of relationship they want without making polygamy haram on men as they can still practice it as long as they are able to find willing women.

                  as for evidence, there are a few fatwa on this topic on islamqa , ive came a cross them a few times when this topic was newly introduced to me. happy searching if you are interested.
                  O people who take pleasure in a life that will vanish, falling in love with a fading shadow is sheer stupidity~ Ibn Qayyim Al-Jawziyya

                  Comment


                  • #84
                    Re: How are brothers so patient when their wives are expecting?

                    Originally posted by Oum Soumayyah View Post
                    I think that's not a very fair comment. Each pregnancy is different. One woman can have totally different experience with each pregnancy just as the next woman can have a totally different experience from another woman.
                    I guess pregnancy is one of those things that you just have to wait and see how it turns out. You never know what will come.
                    I often wonder what exactly makes one pregnancy different from another. But Allah knows best.
                    Some pregnancies come with no cravings, no morning (or all-day) sickness, no back pain, no nausea, and just runs smoothly.
                    Others come with all the above (or some), diarrhea, constant nausea along with vomiting, sickness from strong smells, sickness with any food intake, sharp back pain, almost constant dizziness, short breath, constant headaches, almost constant sleepiness and tiredness, fever, abdominal pain, frequent urination, mood swing, sore/tender and swollen b***, metallic taste in mouth, legs pain, heartburn, and more. And let's not forget that some women actually develop other illnesses during pregnancy such as high blood pressure, diabetes, and even some deadly illnesses. Just because it didn't happen to one doesn't mean it won't happen to another.
                    Some women are even put on bed-rest depending on what's going on with their pregnancy, and some actually die. At the end, it's all worth it. We're built for it and we are strong Alhamdulillah.

                    May Allah make it easy for all mothers.
                    Actually my pregnancy is not going smoothly, this pregnancy is very hard for me, i suffered morning sickness for 3 whole months where i couldn't keep food in, so sometimes i wouldn't eat so i don't have to throw up after. I suffer back pain a lot, i've seen a phsyio about it but they can't really do much especially for my pelvic pain. I've been getting headaches too but i've been limiting myself to having pain killers especially in the 3 trimester. At the moment i am suffering heartburn and shortness of breath and sometimes i feel like i am suffocating.
                    I can't walk as much, in pain when i get up etc

                    I get that some people do get it far worse than me, but not all, as i said my first pregnancy went well as it can compared to this one, every pregnancy is different and i know that, that's why i don't think i can go through pregnancy ever again after this.

                    Comment


                    • #85
                      Re: How are brothers so patient when their wives are expecting?

                      Originally posted by talibeilm100 View Post
                      Subhan Allah... give me some evidence.
                      Originally posted by *sheba* View Post
                      there are two separate things here, as taught to me.

                      a woman who doesn't specify in her nikah contract that she would like the right to leave/stay if husband remarries, can only request a divorce if polygamy is affecting her mental/emotional/physical health or iman.

                      second option is when a woman puts it down on her contract that she is free to divorce/stay with husband if he chooses to remarry and he agrees to such a stipulated condition. in that case according to 2 madhabs (I think its 2) this condition is valid and if husband remarries she has the right to leave him or stay with him depending on what she wants.

                      basically Islam doesn't force polygamy on those who dont want it and the above gives women a choice in the type of relationship they want without making polygamy haram on men as they can still practice it as long as they are able to find willing women.

                      as for evidence, there are a few fatwa on this topic on islamqa , ive came a cross them a few times when this topic was newly introduced to me. happy searching if you are interested.
                      Thanks sweetie Sheba u said all what i wanna say :) as for the madhabs that see it as valid condition is the Hanbali madhab , which we follow in Saudi , not sure about other madhabs . Surely Islam doesn't force polygamy on those who don't want it . We only need to learn our deen more .

                      for the bro who asked for evidences here's a link http://islamqa.info/en/5983 and u can read even more in the site .

                      Allah knows best
                      How merciful Allah on me by giving me respite,and I persist in my sins and Allah shields me

                      Comment


                      • #86
                        Re: How are brothers so patient when their wives are expecting?

                        is it true that in saudi they follow the hanbali madhab quiet loosely? as in not strictly...
                        Last edited by Simply_Logical; 25-06-15, 11:33 AM.

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                        • #87
                          Re: How are brothers so patient when their wives are expecting?

                          Originally posted by myeverything View Post
                          Thanks sweetie Sheba u said all what i wanna say :) as for the madhabs that see it as valid condition is the Hanbali madhab , which we follow in Saudi , not sure about other madhabs . Surely Islam doesn't force polygamy on those who don't want it . We only need to learn our deen more .

                          for the bro who asked for evidences here's a link http://islamqa.info/en/5983 and u can read even more in the site .

                          Allah knows best
                          You are welcome sis. And Im sure there is one other madhab that allows this along with the hanbali madhab, just can't recall which one, I learnt this a while ago, so memory is playing up. Lol.

                          Edit: bingo! I found it in the link you posted!
                          ''According to the madhhab of Maalik, the condition states that if he marries another wife, (the first wife) has the choice of what to do, and this is a valid condition. The woman has the right to leave him in this case. This is similar to the idea in the Madhhab of Imaam Ahmad. ''
                          Last edited by *sheba*; 25-06-15, 09:59 AM.
                          O people who take pleasure in a life that will vanish, falling in love with a fading shadow is sheer stupidity~ Ibn Qayyim Al-Jawziyya

                          Comment


                          • #88
                            Re: How are brothers so patient when their wives are expecting?

                            Originally posted by Simply_Logical View Post
                            is it true that in saudi they follow the hanbali madhab quiet loosely? as in not strictly...
                            what loosely ? what strictly ? we follow Hanbali Madhab . period

                            Oh Simply _ Logical u gotta excuse me now coz my mind busy thinking about the dishes i 'll prepare for the first time ^^ http://www.ummah.com/forum/showthrea...success-please
                            really can't concentrate , may be i 'll come back later , read ur post again and answer u properly .

                            Duaa is requested
                            How merciful Allah on me by giving me respite,and I persist in my sins and Allah shields me

                            Comment


                            • #89
                              Re: How are brothers so patient when their wives are expecting?

                              Originally posted by myeverything View Post
                              what loosely ? what strictly ? we follow Hanbali Madhab . period

                              Oh Simply _ Logical u gotta excuse me now coz my mind busy thinking about the dishes i 'll prepare for the first time ^^ http://www.ummah.com/forum/showthrea...success-please
                              really can't concentrate , may be i 'll come back later , read ur post again and answer u properly .

                              Duaa is requested
                              i was just curious, dont worry about it, you just focus on cooking the food lool

                              Comment


                              • #90
                                Re: How are brothers so patient when their wives are expecting?

                                The majority of contributors to this thread are single people who generally have a very fairytale view of life and marriage.

                                Seriously as mentioned, some of the posts in this thread are

                                Allah swt places a very very special and unique mawaddah and rahmah between spouses that you only understand and feel when you are married.....

                                pregnancy is not the only hurdle in life, it's probably the beginning of many others tests that will follow suit. That's life and some have it harder than others.

                                One of closest friends has been in childless marriage for 14 years, and her husband hasn't left her....you think he's gonna leave when inshaAllah they have a child?

                                someone else I know, she has three sons, 2 have disabilities and her husband is partially sighted and wheelchair bound with parkinsons disease.
                                Wonder who cares for who.

                                I'm sorry for harping on, but sabr is a companion of the believers and we all get tested in different ways. You don't pack your bags and leave, you do sabr, shukr and be brave. The tests that we have are nothing compared to the saliheen who have come before us.

                                Having a child is a huge blessing. ....ask those don't have any.

                                Enough said on the topic....and please sisters maintain your modesty....why do you tell the whole world how you want to give birth to your child?

                                Start a thread on polygamy, if you, but thread is now closed.

                                Brothers.....2nd wife.....of course it's a sunnah. But do you have the Taqwa?
                                Last edited by Jenicca; 25-06-15, 12:15 PM.
                                وَالْعَصْرِ

                                إِنَّ الْإِنسَانَ لَفِي خُسْرٍ

                                إِلَّا الَّذِينَ آمَنُوا وَعَمِلُوا الصَّالِحَاتِ وَتَوَاصَوْا بِالْحَقِّ وَتَوَاصَوْا بِالصَّبْرِ

                                "If Allah (swt) only sent this Surah to us, for the guidance of Mankind, this will be enough for us” - Imam Shaafi'ee r.a.

                                "Yeh dunya daar e faani hain, Tum apna dil mat lagaon, Ganimat samaj zinadagee ki bahar, aana na hoga, yahaa baar baar......"

                                Khanqah Habibiyah

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