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  • My wife wants Divorce

    Assalumu alaikum. My wife wants divorce. Its been 2 years since we got married. As soon as we got married she conceived and we have a child of 1year now. Our sexual life was regular only for the first two months since she got conceived. After we had it like 2 months once. Im sexually more desired. So i watched porn during her carrying period. One I caught watching porn at my wife. She had a fight with me and i promise i wont watch it anyone. But after her delivery we didnt have our intimation for 1 year. As i already told, Im sexually desired more and started looking glamourous pictures( Not completely nude) again. I couldn't compell her to intimate with me and i even dont wanted to disturb her. And recently a week before, she suddenly asked me whether im watchin porn, I said yes, but not videos only pictures i said. And also i explained my situation to her ( that im more desired in sex). But she thinks, Im in to a sexual world, and im kind of a womaniser and says I understand you now, you broke the promise. And she says, she wants divorce from me. I dont know what to do. I love her so much and dont want to leave her.But things are going like this. Im so much confused.

  • #2
    My wife wants Divorce

    Assalumu alaikum. My wife wants divorce. Its been 2 years since we got married. As soon as we got married she conceived and we have a child of 1year now. Our sexual life was regular only for the first two months since she got conceived. After we had it like 2 months once. Im sexually more desired. So i watched porn during her carrying period. One I caught watching porn at my wife. She had a fight with me and i promise i wont watch it anyone. But after her delivery we didnt have our intimation for 1 year. As i already told, Im sexually desired more and started looking glamourous pictures( Not completely nude) again. I couldn't compell her to intimate with me and i even dont wanted to disturb her. And recently a week before, she suddenly asked me whether im watchin porn, I said yes, but not videos only pictures i said. And also i explained my situation to her ( that im more desired in sex). But she thinks, Im in to a sexual world, and im kind of a womaniser and says I understand you now, you broke the promise. And she says, she wants divorce from me. I dont know what to do. I love her so much and dont want to leave her.But things are going like this. Im so much confused.

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    • #3
      Re: My wife wants Divorce

      Originally posted by Imnobody View Post
      Assalumu alaikum. My wife wants divorce. Its been 2 years since we got married. As soon as we got married she conceived and we have a child of 1year now. Our sexual life was regular only for the first two months since she got conceived. After we had it like 2 months once. Im sexually more desired. So i watched porn during her carrying period. One I caught watching porn at my wife. She had a fight with me and i promise i wont watch it anyone. But after her delivery we didnt have our intimation for 1 year. As i already told, Im sexually desired more and started looking glamourous pictures( Not completely nude) again. I couldn't compell her to intimate with me and i even dont wanted to disturb her. And recently a week before, she suddenly asked me whether im watchin porn, I said yes, but not videos only pictures i said. And also i explained my situation to her ( that im more desired in sex). But she thinks, Im in to a sexual world, and im kind of a womaniser and says I understand you now, you broke the promise. And she says, she wants divorce from me. I dont know what to do. I love her so much and dont want to leave her.But things are going like this. Im so much confused.
      i hope this is made up

      Comment


      • #4
        Re: My wife wants Divorce

        Walaikum salaam

        I suggest you contact a scholar or marriage counsellor

        You should not be watching those images at all. But your wife is to blame also if not more as she should understand that a husband has needs and desires in a marriage and to be understanding

        Involve someone that can intervene
        Ya Muqallib Al-Quloob Thabbit Qalbi Alaa Deenik
        ( O changer of hearts, keep my heart steadfast on your deen)

        www.treasureofthescholars.wordpress.com

        Comment


        • #5
          Re: My wife wants Divorce

          Everyone is to blame for their own sins. Her for hwers and you for yours. You watching porn is on you. Her withholding intimacy if she doesn't have a valid reason will be on her.

          I'm not married but I feel your marriage lacks communication.
          O people who take pleasure in a life that will vanish, falling in love with a fading shadow is sheer stupidity~ Ibn Qayyim Al-Jawziyya

          Comment


          • #6
            Re: My wife wants Divorce

            Her not wanting it every week or so isn't an excuse for your lack of self control.

            Comment


            • #7
              Re: My wife wants Divorce

              You both need to see a counselor to find the problem and work on improving your marital life.

              Comment


              • #8
                Re: My wife wants Divorce

                Did the thought ever occur to you, that your supposed higher drive is directly related to the fact that you watch porn?

                Furthermore, during pregnancy and directly after childbirth is when a woman needs her husband the most. Emotionally, hormonal etc she is all over the place. Physically she is in pain. Mentally she is exhausted.

                And to know that during this time your husband is watching porn is a low blow.

                I don't know the answer to your question. But I can see why your wife feels the ways she does.
                https://sufisticated101.wordpress.com

                Comment


                • #9
                  Re: My wife wants Divorce

                  Originally posted by .Singaporean View Post
                  Her not wanting it every week or so isn't an excuse for your lack of self control.
                  it wasn't every week or so, he said it was up to a year without intimacy

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Re: My wife wants Divorce

                    Originally posted by Imnobody View Post
                    Assalumu alaikum. My wife wants divorce. Its been 2 years since we got married. As soon as we got married she conceived and we have a child of 1year now. Our sexual life was regular only for the first two months since she got conceived. After we had it like 2 months once. Im sexually more desired. So i watched porn during her carrying period. One I caught watching porn at my wife. She had a fight with me and i promise i wont watch it anyone. But after her delivery we didnt have our intimation for 1 year. As i already told, Im sexually desired more and started looking glamourous pictures( Not completely nude) again. I couldn't compell her to intimate with me and i even dont wanted to disturb her. And recently a week before, she suddenly asked me whether im watchin porn, I said yes, but not videos only pictures i said. And also i explained my situation to her ( that im more desired in sex). But she thinks, Im in to a sexual world, and im kind of a womaniser and says I understand you now, you broke the promise. And she says, she wants divorce from me. I dont know what to do. I love her so much and dont want to leave her.But things are going like this. Im so much confused.
                    Wa Laikum Asalaam Wr Wb,

                    1. Marriage is successful when two people open themselves, communicate, care, feel and share.

                    2. You should have communicated to her about your feelings and needs. There is nothing wrong if you talk about it with your wife and if you did so then she should have responded to it. What is shocking is that she never showed the same feelings towards you and that is a bit of a question.

                    3. Did you ever loved her or shared your feelings with her without getting intimate? What i mean to say is that women should be made to feel that they are important and loved. Maybe holding her hand while driving, just giving her a smile with lots of love in it, cooking for her, bringing the breakfast when she was pregnant, taking her out for shopping, visiting her family, etc etc. I am saying this because brother i have noticed a lot of marriages break due to small reasons and women feel that they are only precious, loved and remembered when the husband wants to be with them. It creates a very negative picture and for some people - they feel humiliated.

                    4. The most important thing, stop doing what you are not supposed to do and fast if its really that hard. Exercise as much as possible, run at least 3 Kms everyday and make the fat in your body burn and eat less so that the urge remains in control. Ask Allah for forgiveness and fast when you feel that things might get out of control OR just let the natural process take place on its own. You are responsible for where you are and for doing what you were not supposed to do.

                    5. She asked for it because you broke the very basics of a married life. As a wife she expects all and everything to be shared and of course she would think that you are in a different world all together. You need to sit down with her and explain yourself to her, listen to her as well and tell her what your needs are and she will Insha Allah look after you. Remember brother, breaking is easy but creating / establishing or building something takes ages and you have broken core of her heart which is the trust, love, acceptance and respect of your wife. Now its time you have to really work hard to gain what you have lost and let her know that you are a changed man.

                    May Allah make it easy for you, guide you and all of us towards the right path. Ameen
                    "The only one who will not break ur heart is the one who made it"

                    FriEND..BestfriEND..GirlfriEND..BoyfriEND..Everyth ing comes to an END... Except Allah ﷻ strengthen your love for the One who created your heart.

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Re: My wife wants Divorce

                      May Allah swt protect people from these type of marriage s ,thats all I can say in this matter.

                      Youtube channel - https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCYk...dE4pHzSid7Lr0w

                      **** Smiling won't cost you now is it ****

                      Zawjati ,Uhibbuki mithla m ant Uhibbuki kaifam kunteeeWa mahm kna mahma sra

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                      • #12
                        Re: My wife wants Divorce

                        I can't blame her cause she's had a baby and it's hard on woman.. The pregnancy, then labour, then the new born, crying, nappies and feeding ect..no sleep and no time for even the toilet... Mothers suffer and it's important to remember that...
                        I can't blame you either.. "No porn please" men need" that attention " so not sure what to say.. I don't agree with divorce. You have a baby together and it's wrong to brake that family bond and home. Try polygamy? Or if the wife refuses then try patience..
                        I love you, cherish you and worship you,
                        Guide me on your path to your janna,
                        Unite me beside you My King and all mighty,


                        :love:Allah:love:

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          Re: My wife wants Divorce

                          Originally posted by LondonGal View Post
                          Did the thought ever occur to you, that your supposed higher drive is directly related to the fact that you watch porn?

                          Furthermore, during pregnancy and directly after childbirth is when a woman needs her husband the most. Emotionally, hormonal etc she is all over the place. Physically she is in pain. Mentally she is exhausted.

                          And to know that during this time your husband is watching porn is a low blow.

                          I don't know the answer to your question. But I can see why your wife feels the ways she does.
                          Unless she somehow had very good reason to neglect her duties for an entire year, she has fault
                          "Why Do We Fill Our Hearts With Everything But Allah And Expect Not To Fall Apart"

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            Re: My wife wants Divorce

                            Originally posted by talibeilm100 View Post
                            Wa Laikum Asalaam Wr Wb,

                            1. Marriage is successful when two people open themselves, communicate, care, feel and share.

                            2. You should have communicated to her about your feelings and needs. There is nothing wrong if you talk about it with your wife and if you did so then she should have responded to it. What is shocking is that she never showed the same feelings towards you and that is a bit of a question.

                            3. Did you ever loved her or shared your feelings with her without getting intimate? What i mean to say is that women should be made to feel that they are important and loved. Maybe holding her hand while driving, just giving her a smile with lots of love in it, cooking for her, bringing the breakfast when she was pregnant, taking her out for shopping, visiting her family, etc etc. I am saying this because brother i have noticed a lot of marriages break due to small reasons and women feel that they are only precious, loved and remembered when the husband wants to be with them. It creates a very negative picture and for some people - they feel humiliated.

                            4. The most important thing, stop doing what you are not supposed to do and fast if its really that hard. Exercise as much as possible, run at least 3 Kms everyday and make the fat in your body burn and eat less so that the urge remains in control. Ask Allah for forgiveness and fast when you feel that things might get out of control OR just let the natural process take place on its own. You are responsible for where you are and for doing what you were not supposed to do.

                            5. She asked for it because you broke the very basics of a married life. As a wife she expects all and everything to be shared and of course she would think that you are in a different world all together. You need to sit down with her and explain yourself to her, listen to her as well and tell her what your needs are and she will Insha Allah look after you. Remember brother, breaking is easy but creating / establishing or building something takes ages and you have broken core of her heart which is the trust, love, acceptance and respect of your wife. Now its time you have to really work hard to gain what you have lost and let her know that you are a changed man.

                            May Allah make it easy for you, guide you and all of us towards the right path. Ameen


                            First of all Thank you so much brother. Your message gave me clear pic of what i should do. I want to tell you some more thing which i didnt share in the post. Im not complaining my wife but these thing happens. As i Already said After the child birth we did not intimate for an year. During those times i have asked her for intimation for many times and she refused just for the reason "She has to get up early morning and take a bath". During those time how could i tell her that, If you are not intimating with me i ll watch porn? Wont she think that i am dieing for sex as she thinks now? And for now I have explained everything about my problems and she thinks me like a dog which runs for bones. I Accept everything that i have done is a sin, everytime i control myself for a week or a month, it gets worse than previous. coz the world around me is sinfull world, everywhere the dress which people wearing in the society and the net which tempts me. If i was refused in bed when im tempted, what can i do? I cant compell her and next time i dont have the mind to ask her to intimate when im tempted. This is what happened in last one year. And now she wont beleive me again coz i broke the promise. But I love her and i have done everything to make her happy and ready to do for my whole life. for that she sould understand me and my needs. I dont know what im gonna do to bring the trust back. May allah give me a way to solve this issue...

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              Re: My wife wants Divorce

                              Originally posted by Imnobody View Post
                              First of all Thank you so much brother. Your message gave me clear pic of what i should do. I want to tell you some more thing which i didnt share in the post. Im not complaining my wife but these thing happens. As i Already said After the child birth we did not intimate for an year. During those times i have asked her for intimation for many times and she refused just for the reason "She has to get up early morning and take a bath". During those time how could i tell her that, If you are not intimating with me i ll watch porn? Wont she think that i am dieing for sex as she thinks now? And for now I have explained everything about my problems and she thinks me like a dog which runs for bones. I Accept everything that i have done is a sin, everytime i control myself for a week or a month, it gets worse than previous. coz the world around me is sinfull world, everywhere the dress which people wearing in the society and the net which tempts me. If i was refused in bed when im tempted, what can i do? I cant compell her and next time i dont have the mind to ask her to intimate when im tempted. This is what happened in last one year. And now she wont beleive me again coz i broke the promise. But I love her and i have done everything to make her happy and ready to do for my whole life. for that she sould understand me and my needs. I dont know what im gonna do to bring the trust back. May allah give me a way to solve this issue...
                              Ameen

                              Rejecting you and one year is just too much for a married couple - i can understand. She is committing a sin by rejecting you every time you approached her.

                              My best advice would be brother that you speak with a Scholar regarding this and i still believe that this issue can be resolved and divorce is just to extreme. Have you tried loving her more and showing that she is important in your life? Still no change, i don't know what to say here but something is seriously wrong here.

                              Discuss it with her and maybe meet a Doctor to discuss this matter? Also keep the communication channel open and ask her why she rejects you - there must be a reason to it.

                              May Allah make it easy for you and bless you and your wife with love, respect and affection. Ameen
                              "The only one who will not break ur heart is the one who made it"

                              FriEND..BestfriEND..GirlfriEND..BoyfriEND..Everyth ing comes to an END... Except Allah ﷻ strengthen your love for the One who created your heart.

                              Comment

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