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  • #16
    Re: Been 5 yrs waiting

    Its gonna be hard to marry a women or vice versa for women as gays and lesbians are on a rapid increase... everywhere i go there is a gay man or a lesbian

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    • #17
      Re: Been 5 yrs waiting

      Originally posted by shawn79 View Post
      I don't know why I checked on my ex-wife's Facebook but made me very sad ( crying) she divorced me when I reverted to Islam. Shes remarried and has a new baby. Here I set with nothing for 5 yrs. Thought Allah swt would have blessed me with someone better by now. I don't know how to put my feelings I feel right now to words. I had a wife till I went and changed my religion. I don't want to be angry but I am angry that I'm still single for 5 yrs trying to be a good Muslim about it but very hard right now to do so. I feel like breaking stuff which means I don't get this way often at all.

      Top it all off she still uses my last name how you going to remarry and still use my last name what a... jerk
      Where have you been looking akhi?

      Have you tried pure matrimony. com, it's a british website and apparently very good for reverts. That is where i intend to start when i am ready.

      I know exactly how you feel, i am in the same situation. However mine is not marriage, just my life in general, i look at my old friends and they seem to be moving on with their lives and yet i feel stuck. We just have to keep praying and be patient :)

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      • #18
        Re: Been 5 yrs waiting

        Originally posted by shawn79 View Post
        I don't know why I checked on my ex-wife's Facebook but made me very sad ( crying) she divorced me when I reverted to Islam. Shes remarried and has a new baby. Here I set with nothing for 5 yrs. Thought Allah swt would have blessed me with someone better by now. I don't know how to put my feelings I feel right now to words. I had a wife till I went and changed my religion. I don't want to be angry but I am angry that I'm still single for 5 yrs trying to be a good Muslim about it but very hard right now to do so. I feel like breaking stuff which means I don't get this way often at all.

        Top it all off she still uses my last name how you going to remarry and still use my last name what a... jerk
        assalaamu alaykum brother,

        I come across many new Muslim brothers in similar situations to yourself, some who have been waiting to marry for 10 or even 15 years. It's not easy but remember the reward of sabr in this life and the next and don't rush into marriage either.
        FOLLOW THE NEW BLOG - GINGERBEARDMAN - Muslim, father, husband, writer, defender of ginger rights!

        www.facebook.com/outreach4Islam - Outreach4Islam have been working together in Leicester, calling the not yet Muslims to Islam since 2006.

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        • #19
          Re: Been 5 yrs waiting

          Chill, brother. I've been waiting for 10 years (and still waiting)

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          • #20
            Re: Been 5 yrs waiting

            Originally posted by Romero123 View Post
            Its gonna be hard to marry a women or vice versa for women as gays and lesbians are on a rapid increase... everywhere i go there is a gay man or a lesbian
            Ibnul Qayyim رحمه الله said: "Don’t ruin your happiness with worry, and don’t ruin your mind with pessimism. Don’t ruin your success with deception and don’t ruin the optimism of others by destroying it. Don’t ruin your day by looking back at yesterday.
            __________________________________________________ _____________________________
            If you think about your situation, you will find that Allaah (سبحانه وتعالى) has given you things without asking, so have trust in Allaah (سبحانه وتعالى) that He doesn’t prevent anything you want except there is goodness for you.

            You could be sleeping and the doors of the heavens are being opened with dua’as being made on your behalf, SubhanAllaah: perhaps from someone poor whom you helped, or someone sad whom you brought joy, or someone passing by and you smiled at him, or someone in distress and you removed it.. so don’t ever underestimate any good deeds."



            please donate to the Ummah forum sadaqa jariya project. Click on the link for for more information, and to make a donation- https://www.justgiving.com/sadaqah-jariyah-project/

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            • #21
              Re: Been 5 yrs waiting

              Originally posted by firestar101 View Post

              After all its much harder for a man to be single in this society with all the fitna around him. Its something women cant understand. Not truly anyway
              I think, nobody who hasn't been both man and woman can compare. I agree, women can't understand what it's like to be a man. But then again, I don't believe I can understand what it's like to be a woman. To compare is unfair, biased and vain.

              OP: Stop looking her up on fb - you will only hurt yourself. Masha'Allah you have found Islam. Insha'Allah you will also find a good wife.

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              • #22
                Re: Been 5 yrs waiting

                Originally posted by shawn79 View Post
                I don't know why I checked on my ex-wife's Facebook but made me very sad ( crying) she divorced me when I reverted to Islam. Shes remarried and has a new baby. Here I set with nothing for 5 yrs. Thought Allah swt would have blessed me with someone better by now. I don't know how to put my feelings I feel right now to words. I had a wife till I went and changed my religion. I don't want to be angry but I am angry that I'm still single for 5 yrs trying to be a good Muslim about it but very hard right now to do so. I feel like breaking stuff which means I don't get this way often at all.

                Top it all off she still uses my last name how you going to remarry and still use my last name what a... jerk
                Brother be patient. Yes it is hard to wait for something you yearn for. But what Allah has in the hereafter is nothing compared to this world. Worry about the hereafter and protect your deen and Allah will reward you greatly. Whether it is in this world or the hereafter or both, surely Allah will reward you for your patience and strive.

                Don't give up your hereafter for worldly life that will be gone in matter of years. I can't remember where but Allah says in the Quran something like Do you think you will be left with just I believe and you will not be tested? these aren't the exact translation but you get the meaning. Test of this world for us is not to just say I believe and Allah will save you from the rest of this worldly test, but you will be tested with all sorts, lack of food or wealth, death in family, etc.. all the hardships. And remember Allah will never test a Nafs (Soul) with what it can NOT handle. Be patient and ask Allah for forgiveness. Don't say I waited this and this many years or I have done this why has Allah not rewarded me already? Just know your reward is with Allah and will get only when Allah wishes.

                Don't strive to be rewarded in this world, strive for the hereafter. And Allah will insha allah smooth it for you in this world and will reward you greatly in the hereafter.

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                • #23
                  Re: Been 5 yrs waiting

                  Sorry to hear of your situation, brother. just remain patient and steadfast because you will face trials. And continue searching for a wife through valid means.
                  Last edited by umm salabil; 07-06-15, 09:23 PM.

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                  • #24
                    Re: Been 5 yrs waiting

                    do a lot of zikr. The shaitaan was trying to make you feel despaired. While according to islamic doctrines, to despair is to sin. Do alot of zikr and you will be fine. Pray to Allah eg like that with heart (with devotion)

                    "oh Allah you know my marriage conundrum but you are Allah, (praise Allah by his names) Bless me with a pious wife with khair"

                    ^^something like that
                    Please Please Please Make Dua for these [URL="http://www.ummah.com/forum/showthread.php?455964-Plz-Make-Dua-for-these-members&p=6715010&viewfull=1#post6715010"]Click Here[/URL] JazakAllahi

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                    • #25
                      Re: Been 5 yrs waiting

                      Originally posted by shawn79 View Post
                      I don't know why I checked on my ex-wife's Facebook but made me very sad ( crying) she divorced me when I reverted to Islam. Shes remarried and has a new baby. Here I set with nothing for 5 yrs. Thought Allah swt would have blessed me with someone better by now. I don't know how to put my feelings I feel right now to words. I had a wife till I went and changed my religion. I don't want to be angry but I am angry that I'm still single for 5 yrs trying to be a good Muslim about it but very hard right now to do so. I feel like breaking stuff which means I don't get this way often at all.

                      Top it all off she still uses my last name how you going to remarry and still use my last name what a... jerk
                      First of all, even though your frustration is understandable in a way, it still will get you no where. You did not become a Muslim because of finding a wife, so there's no reason to compare your reversion to not having a wife. Second; being a Muslim is the most important aspect of one's life, everything else is just an additional blessing that we all seek while pleasing Allah. So there's no point of you lurking behind to see what your ex-wife is up to. She is still a non-Muslim and you a Muslim. Your blessings are not comparable to her current situation. If you can't see that, then that's a big problem that you need to work on.

                      As for finding a wife, I'm sure you want a pious wife with whom you walk together through the struggles and blessing of life in this world to Jannah. So to get that wife, you need to be patient (but still look around Islamically; do your part), and rely on Allah for the final results. You don't want to jump into something for the wrong reason which you will regret later. As they say, it is best to be alone than be with the wrong person. If you don't trust the plans of the One who you are suppose to turn towards for help, then how do you expect Him to help you? Maybe Allah is reserving a worthy wife for you and with your current attitude, He may simply let you have anyone who may not necessarily be good for you. I don't know; Allah knows best. Allah owes us nothing, so being angry at Him will get you nowhere. Just be proactive in your search, ask other brothers to help you, turn to Allah and be patient.

                      Lastly, if you want a pious wife, how do you expect a pious woman who loves and fears Allah to accept getting married to someone who lashes out like this for a wife, gets angry with Allah, and forgets his blessings of being Muslim being better than not-being Muslim (even with all the goods of this world)? Your salvation should be your number one goal; seek everything else within that path. If you let the wrong ideas get the best of you, you would hurt no one but yourself.

                      May Allah make it easy for you and grant you success.
                      Ameen.
                      *"None of you truly believes until he loves for his brother what he loves for himself."* [Al-Bukhari & Muslim]
                      "Mindless are those who only jump when told to jump, cry when told to cry, and laugh when told to laugh. Indeed, they are but sheep." TheStrivingUmmi

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                      • #26
                        Re: Been 5 yrs waiting

                        If you were with her, u might not been religious anymore, so allah has blessed u to stay on the right path ! =}
                        My cooking Youtube channel:
                        https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCvc...UgRZfc4r8YJ0iQ

                        Don't abuse your body just to feel good, use your body right and you'll feel better - Sparty

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                        • #27
                          Re: Been 5 yrs waiting

                          Originally posted by Oum Soumayyah View Post
                          First of all, even though your frustration is understandable in a way, it still will get you no where. You did not become a Muslim because of finding a wife, so there's no reason to compare your reversion to not having a wife. Second; being a Muslim is the most important aspect of one's life, everything else is just an additional blessing that we all seek while pleasing Allah. So there's no point of you lurking behind to see what your ex-wife is up to. She is still a non-Muslim and you a Muslim. Your blessings are not comparable to her current situation. If you can't see that, then that's a big problem that you need to work on.

                          As for finding a wife, I'm sure you want a pious wife with whom you walk together through the struggles and blessing of life in this world to Jannah. So to get that wife, you need to be patient (but still look around Islamically; do your part), and rely on Allah for the final results. You don't want to jump into something for the wrong reason which you will regret later. As they say, it is best to be alone than be with the wrong person. If you don't trust the plans of the One who you are suppose to turn towards for help, then how do you expect Him to help you? Maybe Allah is reserving a worthy wife for you and with your current attitude, He may simply let you have anyone who may not necessarily be good for you. I don't know; Allah knows best. Allah owes us nothing, so being angry at Him will get you nowhere. Just be proactive in your search, ask other brothers to help you, turn to Allah and be patient.

                          Lastly, if you want a pious wife, how do you expect a pious woman who loves and fears Allah to accept getting married to someone who lashes out like this for a wife, gets angry with Allah, and forgets his blessings of being Muslim being better than not-being Muslim (even with all the goods of this world)? Your salvation should be your number one goal; seek everything else within that path. If you let the wrong ideas get the best of you, you would hurt no one but yourself.

                          May Allah make it easy for you and grant you success.
                          Ameen.
                          Why do I feel like I just got in trouble like a child :-( very good points sister

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