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Scared of finding a righteous Muslimah to get married to.

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  • frjs200
    replied
    Re: Scared of finding a righteous Muslimah to get married to.

    Originally posted by sims View Post
    If one requires their spouse to be pure, why not simply ask. If that is a deal breaker i don't see why you can't ask your potential..
    Yes you are right sister. but people specially families seem to get annoyed if asked directly.

    Leave a comment:


  • mpb394
    replied
    Re: Scared of finding a righteous Muslimah to get married to.

    Originally posted by sims View Post
    If one requires their spouse to be pure, why not simply ask. If that is a deal breaker i don't see why you can't ask your potential..
    *jumps up and down in excitement* THIS IS WHAT I WANTED TO READ TOO!!!! ALHAMDUILLAH!

    Leave a comment:


  • soheil1
    replied
    Re: Scared of finding a righteous Muslimah to get married to.

    Originally posted by IbnRahman View Post
    Assalam waleikum to all brothers and sisters out there.
    Lately something has been bugging me and I wanted to share it with you all.
    My country and society that I live in has sold its soul to the devil long time ago and as usually is the case with high mahr, grand weddings, expectations of a handsome, six-digit salaried groom, etc, marriage has become very expensive and subsequently zina has become rampant in my country. Literally everyone around me is dating and I find myself in a very lonely place at times. I don't see myself capable of reaching the societal standards of eligibility for marriage anytime soon and it saddens me even more. Whenever I am out with my friends, they will be discussing their love lives and their marriage plans and although they don't bother or insult me because they are aware of my religious beliefs, it does put me in a very strange position.
    And in the three years at my university, I have seen things that has literally shaken me inside. Please do not take this otherwise, but very often I would find hijabi sisters indulging in illicit activities around the campus with other men and now this has left me wandering, will I EVER FIND A PROPER, PRACTICING MUSLIMAH? And do I even have a shot at a sunnah, halal wedding?
    I might be suffering from a case of partial sight or hindsight, so I would like to know everybody's perspective.
    Jazak Allah khairan.
    Where are you from and what do you study by the way?

    Leave a comment:


  • sims
    replied
    Re: Scared of finding a righteous Muslimah to get married to.

    Originally posted by frjs200 View Post
    Very rightly said brother. I agree with you. It really takes a big heart to marry someone with a past and it would be a great deed. But only if someone is honest enough to tell it before marriage but no one does so and mostly people repent before marriage because they know that now they can satisfy their desires in a halal way. I am not just talking about women here, men tend to have more bad pasts than women but only women are criticised. As far as we dont have the right to judge anybody, i differ here too, i think before entering marriage relationships you do judge your spouse like the Prophet(PBUH) said that the most likable thing in your future spouse should be that she should be pious. How can we know if he/she is pious without judging them? for which we tend to carry out different tasks like asking their neighbors, close relatives about the character of a person and finally form our opinion on that.
    If one requires their spouse to be pure, why not simply ask. If that is a deal breaker i don't see why you can't ask your potential..

    Leave a comment:


  • frjs200
    replied
    Re: Scared of finding a righteous Muslimah to get married to.

    Originally posted by mpb394 View Post
    I'm very glad that you hold the same view. I was beginning to think that i went mad! lol
    Thanks

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  • mpb394
    replied
    Re: Scared of finding a righteous Muslimah to get married to.

    Originally posted by frjs200 View Post
    Very rightly said brother. I agree with you. It really takes a big heart to marry someone with a past and it would be a great deed. But only if someone is honest enough to tell it before marriage but no one does so and mostly people repent before marriage because they know that now they can satisfy their desires in a halal way. I am not just talking about women here, men tend to have more bad pasts than women but only women are criticised. As far as we dont have the right to judge anybody, i differ here too, i think before entering marriage relationships you do judge your spouse like the Prophet(PBUH) said that the most likable thing in your future spouse should be that she should be pious. How can we know if he/she is pious without judging them? for which we tend to carry out different tasks like asking their neighbors, close relatives about the character of a person and finally form our opinion on that.
    I'm very glad that you hold the same view. I was beginning to think that i went mad! lol

    Leave a comment:


  • frjs200
    replied
    Re: Scared of finding a righteous Muslimah to get married to.

    Originally posted by mpb394 View Post
    Why? So what if a girl has done something wrong in her life. We are all equal to Allah (SWT) in his eyes and therefore we all have the chance of clemecy if we REPENT. No matter what a person has done - do not judge them if they repent. On the day of resurrection you will see people being punished who you thought shouldn't be... but Allah (SWT) is all knowing and knows whats in the heart - you do not.

    If anything if you choose to marry a sister - you should do so for all the right reasons. If you think she will make you look bad for her past deeds... then think about it... who would you be in a relationship with - other people or your wife?



    It's EASY to live in harmony with someone who embraces Islam like a duck to water - but imagination the blessings your marriage will have if you helped a kafir to become a Muslim! ;)
    Very rightly said brother. I agree with you. It really takes a big heart to marry someone with a past and it would be a great deed. But only if someone is honest enough to tell it before marriage but no one does so and mostly people repent before marriage because they know that now they can satisfy their desires in a halal way. I am not just talking about women here, men tend to have more bad pasts than women but only women are criticised. As far as we dont have the right to judge anybody, i differ here too, i think before entering marriage relationships you do judge your spouse like the Prophet(PBUH) said that the most likable thing in your future spouse should be that she should be pious. How can we know if he/she is pious without judging them? for which we tend to carry out different tasks like asking their neighbors, close relatives about the character of a person and finally form our opinion on that.

    Leave a comment:


  • mpb394
    replied
    Re: Scared of finding a righteous Muslimah to get married to.

    Why? So what if a girl has done something wrong in her life. We are all equal to Allah (SWT) in his eyes and therefore we all have the chance of clemecy if we REPENT. No matter what a person has done - do not judge them if they repent. On the day of resurrection you will see people being punished who you thought shouldn't be... but Allah (SWT) is all knowing and knows whats in the heart - you do not.

    If anything if you choose to marry a sister - you should do so for all the right reasons. If you think she will make you look bad for her past deeds... then think about it... who would you be in a relationship with - other people or your wife?

    It's EASY to live in harmony with someone who embraces Islam like a duck to water - but imagination the blessings your marriage will have if you helped a kafir to become a Muslim! ;)
    Last edited by mpb394; 31-05-15, 04:55 PM.

    Leave a comment:


  • Hassaan333
    replied
    Re: Scared of finding a righteous Muslimah to get married to.

    Keep practicing Islam and be on the straight path. And recite that dua in the end of surah furqan... That rabbana hablana min azwajina one.

    Allah will grant you a pious spouse out of nowhere.

    Leave a comment:


  • LailaTheMuslim
    replied
    Re: Scared of finding a righteous Muslimah to get married to.

    Are you allowed to marry outside of your country?

    Leave a comment:


  • frjs200
    replied
    Re: Scared of finding a righteous Muslimah to get married to.

    For brothers cursing about the west, i live here in Pakistan and let me tell you its the same situation all around. Your peers may respect you in the west but i used to get ridiculed by my friends here in a muslim country for being 27 and still a virgin. I used to have heated arguments with them, i avoid them now. Thats the reason i always stress on avoiding intermingling at all costs. Here in my country you have every second woman in a hijab but only of clothing not of character and they intermingle freely with men with a satisfaction for their family members that their daughter is in hijab. How sufficient

    Leave a comment:


  • frjs200
    replied
    Re: Scared of finding a righteous Muslimah to get married to.

    Originally posted by Mustafa Mahmud View Post
    yeah pretty much. Try to disable your reputation. Why are people angry with you lol
    I find that good men are disposable today bro. They are weak and take whatever the society throws at them. I tend to retaliate though and hence people hate me.

    Leave a comment:


  • frjs200
    replied
    Re: Scared of finding a righteous Muslimah to get married to.

    Originally posted by Mustafa Mahmud View Post
    yeah pretty much. Try to disable your reputation. Why are people angry with you lol
    Due to fighting for my menfolk on issues such as these bro

    Leave a comment:


  • Mustafa Mahmud
    replied
    Re: Scared of finding a righteous Muslimah to get married to.

    Originally posted by frjs200 View Post
    Just pray brother for a righteous spouse, that's all we can do
    yeah pretty much. Try to disable your reputation. Why are people angry with you lol

    Leave a comment:


  • frjs200
    replied
    Re: Scared of finding a righteous Muslimah to get married to.

    Just pray brother for a righteous spouse, that's all we can do

    Leave a comment:

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