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Scared of finding a righteous Muslimah to get married to.

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  • Scared of finding a righteous Muslimah to get married to.

    Assalam waleikum to all brothers and sisters out there.
    Lately something has been bugging me and I wanted to share it with you all.
    My country and society that I live in has sold its soul to the devil long time ago and as usually is the case with high mahr, grand weddings, expectations of a handsome, six-digit salaried groom, etc, marriage has become very expensive and subsequently zina has become rampant in my country. Literally everyone around me is dating and I find myself in a very lonely place at times. I don't see myself capable of reaching the societal standards of eligibility for marriage anytime soon and it saddens me even more. Whenever I am out with my friends, they will be discussing their love lives and their marriage plans and although they don't bother or insult me because they are aware of my religious beliefs, it does put me in a very strange position.
    And in the three years at my university, I have seen things that has literally shaken me inside. Please do not take this otherwise, but very often I would find hijabi sisters indulging in illicit activities around the campus with other men and now this has left me wandering, will I EVER FIND A PROPER, PRACTICING MUSLIMAH? And do I even have a shot at a sunnah, halal wedding?
    I might be suffering from a case of partial sight or hindsight, so I would like to know everybody's perspective.
    Jazak Allah khairan.

  • #2
    Re: Scared of finding a righteous Muslimah to get married to.

    Originally posted by IbnRahman View Post
    Assalam waleikum to all brothers and sisters out there.
    Lately something has been bugging me and I wanted to share it with you all.
    My country and society that I live in has sold its soul to the devil long time ago and as usually is the case with high mahr, grand weddings, expectations of a handsome, six-digit salaried groom, etc, marriage has become very expensive and subsequently zina has become rampant in my country. Literally everyone around me is dating and I find myself in a very lonely place at times. I don't see myself capable of reaching the societal standards of eligibility for marriage anytime soon and it saddens me even more. Whenever I am out with my friends, they will be discussing their love lives and their marriage plans and although they don't bother or insult me because they are aware of my religious beliefs, it does put me in a very strange position.
    And in the three years at my university, I have seen things that has literally shaken me inside. Please do not take this otherwise, but very often I would find hijabi sisters indulging in illicit activities around the campus with other men and now this has left me wandering, will I EVER FIND A PROPER, PRACTICING MUSLIMAH? And do I even have a shot at a sunnah, halal wedding?
    I might be suffering from a case of partial sight or hindsight, so I would like to know everybody's perspective.
    Jazak Allah khairan.
    Wa aalaykumusalam wa wa rahmatullahi wa barakatuh

    i am afraid as well of marrying girl who has done something illicit
    Humiliating people in the name of religion is the practice of someone deprived of the first fruit of religion, humility.-Nouman Ali Khan

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    • #3
      Re: Scared of finding a righteous Muslimah to get married to.

      Not just the illicit part brother. When I say Muslimah, I meant somebody who would value me for my deen, character and nature. In my country, you're worth nothing if you don't have a 6-digit job, by which you're at least 28-30.

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      • #4
        Re: Scared of finding a righteous Muslimah to get married to.

        Originally posted by IbnRahman View Post
        Not just the illicit part brother. When I say Muslimah, I meant somebody who would value me for my deen, character and nature. In my country, you're worth nothing if you don't have a 6-digit job, by which you're at least 28-30.
        Well how do you know your deen character and nature are any good? What if there are loads of dudes with six figures with better deen and character than you? Deen and character is something you can't asses well for oneself
        Humiliating people in the name of religion is the practice of someone deprived of the first fruit of religion, humility.-Nouman Ali Khan

        Comment


        • #5
          Re: Scared of finding a righteous Muslimah to get married to.

          Originally posted by Mustafa Mahmud View Post
          Wa aalaykumusalam wa wa rahmatullahi wa barakatuh

          i am afraid as well of marrying girl who has done something illicit
          Us women are just as scared to end up with a player

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          • #6
            Re: Scared of finding a righteous Muslimah to get married to.

            Originally posted by Muslima London View Post
            Us women are just as scared to end up with a player
            Good.
            Humiliating people in the name of religion is the practice of someone deprived of the first fruit of religion, humility.-Nouman Ali Khan

            Comment


            • #7
              Re: Scared of finding a righteous Muslimah to get married to.

              Originally posted by IbnRahman View Post
              Assalam waleikum to all brothers and sisters out there.
              Lately something has been bugging me and I wanted to share it with you all.
              My country and society that I live in has sold its soul to the devil long time ago and as usually is the case with high mahr, grand weddings, expectations of a handsome, six-digit salaried groom, etc, marriage has become very expensive and subsequently zina has become rampant in my country. Literally everyone around me is dating and I find myself in a very lonely place at times. I don't see myself capable of reaching the societal standards of eligibility for marriage anytime soon and it saddens me even more. Whenever I am out with my friends, they will be discussing their love lives and their marriage plans and although they don't bother or insult me because they are aware of my religious beliefs, it does put me in a very strange position.
              And in the three years at my university, I have seen things that has literally shaken me inside. Please do not take this otherwise, but very often I would find hijabi sisters indulging in illicit activities around the campus with other men and now this has left me wandering, will I EVER FIND A PROPER, PRACTICING MUSLIMAH? And do I even have a shot at a sunnah, halal wedding?
              I might be suffering from a case of partial sight or hindsight, so I would like to know everybody's perspective.
              Jazak Allah khairan.
              wa alaikom salam
              i am afraid as well of marrying a MAN who has done something illicit (and lot of man do it here and they are even proud of it)
              so the only things we have to do is to put our trust in Allah SWT and make lot of dua
              May Allah grant all of us a righteous spouse

              Comment


              • #8
                Re: Scared of finding a righteous Muslimah to get married to.

                When I went university I sometimes felt like a minority amongst muslims.

                I know how you feel as I was in a similar position where friends and colleagues either were completely uncaring or had a very relaxed attitude to all the free mixing. However, what I learnt was the value of good company. Because there are good practising people around i was just too busy and comfortable to make an effort to get to know them.

                Go to the mosque regularly, get involved in real Islamic events. Over time your contacts and network will widen and you will find decent practising friends and families. Takes a lot of effort and time tbh to break out of your normal social cirlces.

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                • #9
                  Re: Scared of finding a righteous Muslimah to get married to.

                  Uni campus is for one purpose - study and take qualifications. Forget the rest.

                  Keep your social circle around the masjid and find a muslimah from among circles there

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                  • #10
                    Re: Scared of finding a righteous Muslimah to get married to.

                    Bro, I know what you mean about hijabis doing bad things, ive seen it my self. but then again no one is perfect. Finding a pious woman in the west is like a needle in a haystack.

                    Don't forget tho, Pray to Allah. Insha'Allah you will find someone, its all decreed.

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Re: Scared of finding a righteous Muslimah to get married to.

                      Originally posted by Mustafa Mahmud View Post
                      Well how do you know your deen character and nature are any good? What if there are loads of dudes with six figures with better deen and character than you? Deen and character is something you can't asses well for oneself
                      Pretty easy today to till not saying it to be smart. Talking everyone he knows is dating doing very bad stuff. Seriously when I was home not doing this job I have me and one other brother was the only ones showing up at the masjid half time doors locked we pray in parking lot

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        Re: Scared of finding a righteous Muslimah to get married to.

                        I was really worried about this also

                        One of my friends was discussing his high school days and he mentioned a lot of the Asian girls would mess around with guys so it made me worry

                        But I found someone that I will marry who I personally know was never like that and I will be the first man she has been with inshallah
                        Ya Muqallib Al-Quloob Thabbit Qalbi Alaa Deenik
                        ( O changer of hearts, keep my heart steadfast on your deen)

                        www.treasureofthescholars.wordpress.com

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                        • #13
                          Re: Scared of finding a righteous Muslimah to get married to.

                          Originally posted by Mustafa Mahmud View Post
                          Wa aalaykumusalam wa wa rahmatullahi wa barakatuh

                          i am afraid as well of marrying girl who has done something illicit
                          Just ask before hand if your in doubt,

                          also make sure proper background checks are done via Wali etc

                          :jkk:
                          http://www.ilovepalestine.com/campai...imesinGaza.gif

                          "It does not befit the lion to answer the dogs."

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                          • #14
                            Re: Scared of finding a righteous Muslimah to get married to.

                            I am not worried about anything. I have entrusted my affairs to Allah and trust that He will take care of them.

                            Yes there are lots of people engaging in illicit behavior, I think it's more common amongst the men than women because society is more accepting of men committing such acts. So we women have more to worry about than men.

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              Re: Scared of finding a righteous Muslimah to get married to.

                              I feel for you bro, I do. It's got to be tough to live in such an environment but please just be patient...your time will come too.
                              and also remember that: good women are meant for good men
                              الْخَبِيثَاتُ لِلْخَبِيثِينَ وَالْخَبِيثُونَ لِلْخَبِيثَاتِ ۖ وَالطَّيِّبَاتُ لِلطَّيِّبِينَ وَالطَّيِّبُونَ لِلطَّيِّبَاتِ ۚ أُولَٰئِكَ مُبَرَّءُونَ مِمَّا يَقُولُونَ ۖ لَهُمْ مَغْفِرَةٌ وَرِزْقٌ كَرِيمٌ
                              (Surah 24:26)
                              "My Lord! Truly I am in need of whatever good You would send down to me."

                              Comment

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