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Feeling inadequate..

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  • Feeling inadequate..

    How does one overcome the feeling of inadequacy, when it comes to actually approaching marriage?
    Because alhamdualilah I've never really been involved in any type of relationship before (physical or anything of the like) not due to any oppurtunites but because alhamdualilah I do not wish to partake in that sort of behavior I sometimes worry how I'm going to deal with a marriage when I've never really been with a guy in that sense.
    In fact, I don't quite know if I'm different to most girls but I get stupidly shy around men, paticularly those I'm attracted to and I'm somewhat worried how I'm even meant to find a spouse since I know myself. I get quite 'scared' of letting a guy close to me, like I don't mean in the sense of OMG -runs away- kind of scared but just scared in the sense of ever letting someone close to me.

    I've had no close male friends ever in my lifetime. I attended a segregated school for most of my life, I keep myself to myself for the most part. Most people in society regard that as weird or just socially unconventional, alhamdualilah laakin, I just worry a little if I'm too inadequate and inexperienced because of my lack of experience with men.
    This may seem like a foolish fear but it is a major worry for me.
    Last edited by UmmAbdulMalik; 10-04-15, 12:56 AM.

  • #2
    Re: Feeling inadequate..

    Last edited by Charmbracelet0; 21-04-15, 03:08 PM.


    • #3
      Re: Feeling inadequate..

      Originally posted by Charmbracelet0 View Post
      Definately not true sis... I think it's normal to feel the way you do (as in shy) but not inadequate, by that do you mean not good enough? The only advice I think I can give you is to get to know yourself a bit better and what kind of qualities you are looking for in your future husband.. This might make it a bit easier for you to feel comfortable around people because you know exactly what you want and will only be willing to talk to those who you want to get to know (does that make sense?) it's a tough one...
      Not inadequate as in not good enough - but moreso, like being inexperienced and THUS being inadequate.
      Do you get what I mean? Sort of?


      • #4
        Re: Feeling inadequate..

        A lot of people have this issue. You are not the only one. You just have to deal with it

        I had to and it was not easy for me. In fact, multiply what you went through by a billion then that's what I went through

        At times I felt going crazy but one day I will have someone and it will be worth it.

        If you kept yourself away from guys and did not obviously do zina, then you will get the same one day inshallah. The spouse we get is the one we deserve in this life and we can only hope it is a good one. And if if is, they will understand what you went through which I hope my spouse will and appreciate me more because of the struggle
        Ya Muqallib Al-Quloob Thabbit Qalbi Alaa Deenik
        ( O changer of hearts, keep my heart steadfast on your deen)