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parents marrying their trouble making sons/daughters off to decent people

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  • #31
    Re: parents marrying their trouble making sons/daughters off to decent people

    Originally posted by firestar101 View Post
    True. I agree

    Not all of us were practicing when we were younger but we still knew right from wrong and it's so easy to know that

    We all have standards.
    Zina to an atheist isn't wrong, that wasn't my point if you know what i mean.

    we have things we look at things that we deem unacceptable etc on a personal level, i know many non Muslims that although they don't see fornication as wrong, they would never get into a serious relationship with a woman who had been with more than 10 people

    I can understand that people don't follow the Muslim standards if they aren't Muslim but even then there are certainly things i will deem unacceptable when looking at an ex non Muslim. That's kind of my right.
    Gender: Male

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    • #32
      Re: parents marrying their trouble making sons/daughters off to decent people

      Originally posted by Winter View Post
      I think your misunderstanding what she's trying to say.

      She's talking about parents who find out their son/daughter have a BF/GF or have committed zina, etc and think getting them married will solve this problem of theres, so they force them, etc like that, which isn't fair because what happens if that said guy/girl isn't over the other person? Then his/her spouse suffers.
      Your right I carried off perhaps a bit off the main subject.
      I generally disagree with parents marrying their children in general but that's because I come from a western minded culture and don't fully understand the concept of why a parent would do that or think they have the right in the first place.

      Marry early is something of our deen and people are pushing that later and later, some problems marriage definitely won't solve but if someone is doing zina, or very close to it I don't see why marriage to someone wouldn't be a solution...isn't there fatwas saying that exactly!? If that person isn't over another person then of course that's very wrong, but Allah knows why these things happen.

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      • #33
        Re: parents marrying their trouble making sons/daughters off to decent people

        Originally posted by Anthanasia View Post
        My Allah I knew I would get slander, see this judgment is why converts have such a hard time in communities. I know a woman who has a two year old baby without being married, what should she be a spinster because of her life choices?! This isn't sunnah behavior, Muslims should be the most accepting and warm people. The fact we can come from such diverse backgrounds is whats beautiful about Muslims, I met a man who used to be in prison, converted after and he works for children in broken homes like the one he came from...these people are awesome,and amazing and I'm so damn proud of anyone who struggled in the dunya and overcame that to something so wondrous!

        Shame on those who are so judgmental! Of course everyone has standards if you don't want to marry someone with a drug past that is your right, but that doesn't make that person less human or worthless if people all carried on with these motives we'd have a vast society of people who can't because a discreet class system of "pure people" and impure would exist.

        In essence: Naturally everyone has the right to have specifications for marriage, but don't put down the people who may have made wrong choices because those people might be better than YOU someday. Misguidedness isn't something you are born with, rather it's a bad phase a human chooses or goes through and I hope to Allah that any soul gets the support they deserve.
        just to make it clear were talking about present not past actions, but even past actions everyone has their own standards. your right in the fact that it doesnt make them less of a person or muslim obviously, but if someone doesnt want to marry someone whos been in relationships before its up to them and nothings wrong with it.
        --

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        • #34
          Re: parents marrying their trouble making sons/daughters off to decent people

          Originally posted by Anthanasia View Post
          My Allah I knew I would get slander, see this judgment is why converts have such a hard time in communities. I know a woman who has a two year old baby without being married, what should she be a spinster because of her life choices?! This isn't sunnah behavior, Muslims should be the most accepting and warm people. The fact we can come from such diverse backgrounds is whats beautiful about Muslims, I met a man who used to be in prison, converted after and he works for children in broken homes like the one he came from...these people are awesome,and amazing and I'm so damn proud of anyone who struggled in the dunya and overcame that to something so wondrous!

          Shame on those who are so judgmental! Of course everyone has standards if you don't want to marry someone with a drug past that is your right, but that doesn't make that person less human or worthless if people all carried on with these motives we'd have a vast society of people who can't because a discreet class system of "pure people" and impure would exist.

          In essence: Naturally everyone has the right to have specifications for marriage, but don't put down the people who may have made wrong choices because those people might be better than YOU someday. Misguidedness isn't something you are born with, rather it's a bad phase a human chooses or goes through and I hope to Allah that any soul gets the support they deserve.
          Reading this thread raised a question for me.

          Chaste for chaste. Is it as literal as we see it or deeper than that?

          Someone who has never committed zina or has been lucky enough to not be subjected to someone else's crime or sin.

          Someone who committed zina knowingly that it was wrong but repented in a beautiful way such that that sin has been wiped clean.

          Someone who committed zina without knowing it was wrong as the light of Islam had not touched him/her. After all, Islam came to guide. How can we then expect a non-Muslim to lead the same life as a Muslim. A lost child does not know his way and will follow the nafs. Once the sahada has been uttered, that person has all his/her past sins wipes out. Even a born Muslim will struggle to compete with that.

          Someone who was a victim to someone else's sin against his/her own choice or awareness, but has kept himself/herself chaste out of her own volition.
          Last edited by pointless; 06-03-15, 08:13 PM. Reason: quoted wrong post by mistake
          Ramadan Ummah Project 2015 in shaa Allah
          http://www.ummah.com/forum/showthrea...h-Project-2015
          Let's learn and live Islam together. Ameen.
          ----------------------- ------------------------
          My Lord! bestow on them thy Mercy even as they cherished me in childhood [17:24]

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