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parents marrying their trouble making sons/daughters off to decent people

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  • #16
    Re: parents marrying their trouble making sons/daughters off to decent people

    Originally posted by مسلمة View Post
    The other annoying thing is some of those guys who are the perverted ones themselves will go on about how women in the west are this and that and they want someone 'pure.'
    Thats Hypocrisy,

    But we also know that Open Shamelessness is prevailant in Darul Kufr,

    No doubt concerning this,
    http://www.ilovepalestine.com/campai...imesinGaza.gif

    "It does not befit the lion to answer the dogs."

    – Imam al-Shafi’i (Rahimahullah)

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    • #17
      Re: parents marrying their trouble making sons/daughters off to decent people

      Originally posted by Saif-Uddin View Post
      More often than not, they Decieve the other party the Man/Woman side and potray their sons as Angels ...

      Nauzubillah min zaliq,

      Brothers and sisters when you have Children, please don't ruin another persons Lives and be wary of others trying to ruin your Childrens lives

      Nauzubillah min zaliq

      The Sin accumulated from destroying the Life of a Muslim!

      May Allah ta'ala save us from such Despicable Henious Sins

      ameen

      Also this emphasises the importance of good background checks before selecting a spouse,

      :jkk:
      is that even a halal marriage? After all Allaah does tell us chaste for the chaste in the Quran
      FOLLOW THE NEW BLOG - GINGERBEARDMAN - Muslim, father, husband, writer, defender of ginger rights!

      www.facebook.com/outreach4Islam - Outreach4Islam have been working together in Leicester, calling the not yet Muslims to Islam since 2006.

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      • #18
        Re: parents marrying their trouble making sons/daughters off to decent people

        Most often it's the woman that are tricked into marrying a zaani, faasiq, or drug addict who isn't even trying to get his life together.
        If the potential you are considering isn't from your country make sure you do the necessary research. Some people will try to blindside you into marrying some really messed up individuals.

        Comment


        • #19
          Re: parents marrying their trouble making sons/daughters off to decent people

          Originally posted by Outreach4Islam View Post
          is that even a halal marriage? After all Allaah does tell us chaste for the chaste in the Quran
          True,

          these sort of marriages don't Last akhi,

          but they leave a detrimental psychological effect on the Husband or the Wife,

          How someone can live playing with another persons and life and destroying their marriage is beyond me,

          I just heard about one such horrendous incident.

          Nauzubillah min zaliq

          :jkk:
          http://www.ilovepalestine.com/campai...imesinGaza.gif

          "It does not befit the lion to answer the dogs."

          – Imam al-Shafi’i (Rahimahullah)

          Comment


          • #20
            Re: parents marrying their trouble making sons/daughters off to decent people

            Originally posted by ceeri_sista View Post
            Most often it's the woman that are tricked into marrying a zaani, faasiq, or drug addict who isn't even trying to get his life together.
            If the potential you are considering isn't from your country make sure you do the necessary research. Some people will try to blindside you into marrying some really messed up individuals.
            and sisters Don't Marry Potentials (in the hope that you will be successful in changing their entire lifestyle)!

            Don't play with Fire!

            :jkk:
            http://www.ilovepalestine.com/campai...imesinGaza.gif

            "It does not befit the lion to answer the dogs."

            – Imam al-Shafi’i (Rahimahullah)

            Comment


            • #21
              Re: parents marrying their trouble making sons/daughters off to decent people

              I think the bigger problem is when someone is about to get married, he becomes someone who does all his prayers, even the voluntary, he starts growing a beard and acts very humble. He speaks good words and treats everyone nice. And then when he's married, none of that is actually visable on him. And the parents know this, they even encouraged it. They tell you "Wallahi, my son is the best. He's a very pious man.". When in reality they're mini-devils hunting for muslimah.

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              • #22
                Re: parents marrying their trouble making sons/daughters off to decent people

                Originally posted by Rezgar View Post
                I think the bigger problem is when someone is about to get married, he becomes someone who does all his prayers, even the voluntary, he starts growing a beard and acts very humble. He speaks good words and treats everyone nice. And then when he's married, none of that is actually visable on him. And the parents know this, they even encouraged it. They tell you "Wallahi, my son is the best. He's a very pious man.". When in reality they're mini-devils hunting for muslimah.
                thats why it's Important to do a proper back ground check,

                :jkk:
                http://www.ilovepalestine.com/campai...imesinGaza.gif

                "It does not befit the lion to answer the dogs."

                – Imam al-Shafi’i (Rahimahullah)

                Comment


                • #23
                  Re: parents marrying their trouble making sons/daughters off to decent people

                  Marriage has become so complex that everyone avoids it and fornication has become the better option. May Allah save us from the evil of that which He has created.

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                  • #24
                    Re: parents marrying their trouble making sons/daughters off to decent people

                    My friend just went back home to get married. She is semi-trouble kid but not too much (depends on your definition of trouble).

                    I hope it works out for her. But they still haven't found anyone & their time is running out.

                    Comment


                    • #25
                      Re: parents marrying their trouble making sons/daughters off to decent people

                      This grinds my gears.

                      Having come from an atheistic lifestyle and being brutally honest when I was single I had to essentially hide half my life because it would be "shameful" "not good enough" for Muslim men or their families!!!!!! Even though most of my bad years were as an atheist I am still judged on it and no matter what those years and times of my life are mine, they are a part of my history. Muslims say that you are renewed when you convert but many of them sure do still judge you despite. I had a troubled past, and beginning as a Muslim and I'm so thankful I have an open-minded spouse who accepts me who I am and who I was...but Allah knows his family can't know or they would soon lock their doors and nearly disown me.

                      I can't stand this, we live at the end of dunya time and people are so harsh and judgemental. I don't even near defend a Muslim who knowingly commits sins but if they repented and I mean REALLY repented then they are as equal to me as any other. Peoples wrongdoings shouldn't be written so deeply in their history, a good Muslim is one who knows when to stay out of business that's not there's and not to be judgmental in the first place.

                      Aside I know many "pure" muslims who lived a more innocent life only to live a life of drama and ruin of their marriage now. Go ahead do a proper background check, you have the right to not marry a murderer and a rapist, but I'm telling you if you take a broken soul whose circumstances they didn't choose knowingly I swear by what I know of Allah your jennah will be so much grander than you know.

                      Redemption of the soul is probably the most noble act a human can do for Allah's sake. Keep that in mind while you look for your perfect spouses.

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                      • #26
                        Re: parents marrying their trouble making sons/daughters off to decent people

                        I don't care if you were an atheist

                        i will still look at how you behaved even as a non Muslim, we all have standards we require, nothing wrong with that.
                        Gender: Male

                        Comment


                        • #27
                          Re: parents marrying their trouble making sons/daughters off to decent people

                          Originally posted by Anthanasia View Post
                          This grinds my gears.

                          Having come from an atheistic lifestyle and being brutally honest when I was single I had to essentially hide half my life because it would be "shameful" "not good enough" for Muslim men or their families!!!!!! Even though most of my bad years were as an atheist I am still judged on it and no matter what those years and times of my life are mine, they are a part of my history. Muslims say that you are renewed when you convert but many of them sure do still judge you despite. I had a troubled past, and beginning as a Muslim and I'm so thankful I have an open-minded spouse who accepts me who I am and who I was...but Allah knows his family can't know or they would soon lock their doors and nearly disown me.

                          I can't stand this, we live at the end of dunya time and people are so harsh and judgemental. I don't even near defend a Muslim who knowingly commits sins but if they repented and I mean REALLY repented then they are as equal to me as any other. Peoples wrongdoings shouldn't be written so deeply in their history, a good Muslim is one who knows when to stay out of business that's not there's and not to be judgmental in the first place.

                          Aside I know many "pure" muslims who lived a more innocent life only to live a life of drama and ruin of their marriage now. Go ahead do a proper background check, you have the right to not marry a murderer and a rapist, but I'm telling you if you take a broken soul whose circumstances they didn't choose knowingly I swear by what I know of Allah your jennah will be so much grander than you know.

                          Redemption of the soul is probably the most noble act a human can do for Allah's sake. Keep that in mind while you look for your perfect spouses.
                          lol people are judgmental because they dont want their ddaughters marrying a drug addicted womanizer?
                          --

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                          • #28
                            Re: parents marrying their trouble making sons/daughters off to decent people

                            Originally posted by Anthanasia View Post
                            This grinds my gears.

                            Having come from an atheistic lifestyle and being brutally honest when I was single I had to essentially hide half my life because it would be "shameful" "not good enough" for Muslim men or their families!!!!!! Even though most of my bad years were as an atheist I am still judged on it and no matter what those years and times of my life are mine, they are a part of my history. Muslims say that you are renewed when you convert but many of them sure do still judge you despite. I had a troubled past, and beginning as a Muslim and I'm so thankful I have an open-minded spouse who accepts me who I am and who I was...but Allah knows his family can't know or they would soon lock their doors and nearly disown me.

                            I can't stand this, we live at the end of dunya time and people are so harsh and judgemental. I don't even near defend a Muslim who knowingly commits sins but if they repented and I mean REALLY repented then they are as equal to me as any other. Peoples wrongdoings shouldn't be written so deeply in their history, a good Muslim is one who knows when to stay out of business that's not there's and not to be judgmental in the first place.

                            Aside I know many "pure" muslims who lived a more innocent life only to live a life of drama and ruin of their marriage now. Go ahead do a proper background check, you have the right to not marry a murderer and a rapist, but I'm telling you if you take a broken soul whose circumstances they didn't choose knowingly I swear by what I know of Allah your jennah will be so much grander than you know.

                            Redemption of the soul is probably the most noble act a human can do for Allah's sake. Keep that in mind while you look for your perfect spouses.
                            I think your misunderstanding what she's trying to say.

                            She's talking about parents who find out their son/daughter have a BF/GF or have committed zina, etc and think getting them married will solve this problem of theres, so they force them, etc like that, which isn't fair because what happens if that said guy/girl isn't over the other person? Then his/her spouse suffers.

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                            • #29
                              Re: parents marrying their trouble making sons/daughters off to decent people

                              Originally posted by Bindipper View Post
                              I don't care if you were an atheist

                              i will still look at how you behaved even as a non Muslim, we all have standards we require, nothing wrong with that.
                              True. I agree

                              Not all of us were practicing when we were younger but we still knew right from wrong and it's so easy to know that

                              We all have standards.
                              Ya Muqallib Al-Quloob Thabbit Qalbi Alaa Deenik
                              ( O changer of hearts, keep my heart steadfast on your deen)

                              www.treasureofthescholars.wordpress.com

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                              • #30
                                Re: parents marrying their trouble making sons/daughters off to decent people

                                Originally posted by Don't forget View Post
                                lol people are judgmental because they dont want their ddaughters marrying a drug addicted womanizer?
                                My Allah I knew I would get slander, see this judgment is why converts have such a hard time in communities. I know a woman who has a two year old baby without being married, what should she be a spinster because of her life choices?! This isn't sunnah behavior, Muslims should be the most accepting and warm people. The fact we can come from such diverse backgrounds is whats beautiful about Muslims, I met a man who used to be in prison, converted after and he works for children in broken homes like the one he came from...these people are awesome,and amazing and I'm so damn proud of anyone who struggled in the dunya and overcame that to something so wondrous!

                                Shame on those who are so judgmental! Of course everyone has standards if you don't want to marry someone with a drug past that is your right, but that doesn't make that person less human or worthless if people all carried on with these motives we'd have a vast society of people who can't because a discreet class system of "pure people" and impure would exist.

                                In essence: Naturally everyone has the right to have specifications for marriage, but don't put down the people who may have made wrong choices because those people might be better than YOU someday. Misguidedness isn't something you are born with, rather it's a bad phase a human chooses or goes through and I hope to Allah that any soul gets the support they deserve.

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