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Biodata/Marriage CV

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  • ugabs
    replied
    Re: Biodata/Marriage CV

    Lol I had no idea there was a thing called 'marriage CV'

    Why not just meet the potential or her parents directly

    Leave a comment:


  • The Awakening
    replied
    Re: Biodata/Marriage CV

    Very strange...

    Leave a comment:


  • Kya
    replied
    Re: Biodata/Marriage CV

    By your reference of "welfare system" I am guessing you live in UK. But we weren't talking about CV in UK only. People live/marry in many different parts of the world & their life ambition /goals and welfare system is very different. For example in USA the welfare system isn't enough to cover any for long. I personally know family in USA who have gotten short term help from siblings whether it was on need base or want base. It is still nice to have back up

    You can't paint everyone with same brush. I have a friend in UK whos husband and brothers have been fighting since last year over inheritance. Her father in law had a restaurant in central London & none of the siblings did anything outside of the restaurant business, didn't get themselves educated. So now there is a fight on who keeps the restaurant and the house the father left behind & how much to the other siblings get paid out for.

    Its a real issue regardless of where we live. Maybe you and I don't have to deal with it but lot of people do. Its better to be cautious, isn't that the job of wali to cover all ground

    Leave a comment:


  • Khalid b. Walid
    replied
    Re: Biodata/Marriage CV

    Originally posted by Kya View Post
    You kids are way too quick to point the blame finger at parents & call them ridiculous illogical cultural thinker. But the truth is, they been living on earth lot longer and there is a reason behind their madness. Its just we are too young to understand. :jaded:

    Aloo has a good point that I too didn't think off but I know my grandpa used that factor when he was marrying my mom off. He rejected a guy because the guy had 7 brothers all depending on fathers land for income. His logic was by the time they divide up the land 7 parts, it won't be enough to take care of family. People do look at the wealth sibling of bride/groom has. For guys its to see if the brothers can step and help if the groom faces tough time. Also less inheritance fight if all the siblings are well off. Back in the village, where kids were depended on inheritance, always ended in big family fight because big bro got 1 feet extra land. In brides case they look for established siblings for the same reason, if the sister is facing hard time can her other siblings pitch in.

    The other reason I know of is for connection/information sake. You might not know the bride or her father but you notice her brother graduated from xyz school in 2008 & your cousin graduated from same school same year. You call up the cousin & ask about this guy. Next thing you know, that's your cousins best friend & grew up with this kid. Now you have 1st hand information on the bride/her family from someone you trust & not a middle men or random stranger you meet in street.
    Your second paragraph just proved my point about the cultural mentality. This isn't Bangladesh where you have relatives needing to depend on one another.

    Here you go out and get a job to provide for your family. In the case your finances are not enough then there will be state benefits to assist and supplement your income. It is extremely rare for someone to get to the point where they need to live off the charity of their siblings.

    I had a relative who lost his job and stopped having any income. Guess what, the welfare system kicked in for him and his family till he got a new one. He didn't have to go asking to family members for money.

    That's one major problem with the older generations. Instead of looking at the society they live in, they still want to continue those old practises which are now outdated.

    And the issue of inheritance isn't as much of an issue in the West as it is in Bangladesh. Most Bengalis don't have huge swathes of land here that children will end up fighting over. A lot of Bengalis don't even own their own homes and live in social housing due to the high prices. As for the land that exists in Bangladesh, it is the more culturally-oriented families who fight over it and have internal family feuds over it.

    Leave a comment:


  • Kya
    replied
    Re: Biodata/Marriage CV

    Originally posted by Khalid b. Walid View Post
    I doubt it. Personally I found it's more for bragging rights. Some parents can be big-headed and not agree on a marriage because the siblings of the potential don't have a "prestigious" enough job or qualification.

    For example, if the son is a lawyer and marrying him to a girl whose brother is a taxi driver just won't be acceptable. Stupid mentality.
    You kids are way too quick to point the blame finger at parents & call them ridiculous illogical cultural thinker. But the truth is, they been living on earth lot longer and there is a reason behind their madness. Its just we are too young to understand. :jaded:

    Aloo has a good point that I too didn't think off but I know my grandpa used that factor when he was marrying my mom off. He rejected a guy because the guy had 7 brothers all depending on fathers land for income. His logic was by the time they divide up the land 7 parts, it won't be enough to take care of family. People do look at the wealth sibling of bride/groom has. For guys its to see if the brothers can step and help if the groom faces tough time. Also less inheritance fight if all the siblings are well off. Back in the village, where kids were depended on inheritance, always ended in big family fight because big bro got 1 feet extra land. In brides case they look for established siblings for the same reason, if the sister is facing hard time can her other siblings pitch in.

    The other reason I know of is for connection/information sake. You might not know the bride or her father but you notice her brother graduated from xyz school in 2008 & your cousin graduated from same school same year. You call up the cousin & ask about this guy. Next thing you know, that's your cousins best friend & grew up with this kid. Now you have 1st hand information on the bride/her family from someone you trust & not a middle men or random stranger you meet in street.

    Leave a comment:


  • TazZ-
    replied
    Re: Biodata/Marriage CV

    Originally posted by Muslima London View Post
    Yeah bet you wish it was you
    Oh I c whr this is going and the reason for your comment.

    Leave a comment:


  • Muslima London
    replied
    Re: Biodata/Marriage CV

    Originally posted by TazZ- View Post
    Its not there anymore. Looks like mods removed it. Why u asking sister ?

    Yeah bet you wish it was you

    Leave a comment:


  • TazZ-
    replied
    Re: Biodata/Marriage CV

    Originally posted by Muslima London View Post
    whose the guy in your avatar ????
    Its not there anymore. Looks like mods removed it. Why u asking sister ?

    Leave a comment:


  • Muslima London
    replied
    Re: Biodata/Marriage CV

    Originally posted by TazZ- View Post
    An aunty inquired about my gcse grades . I asked why and she said , "My daughter was an straight A student so she wants someone who is like her in studies ."
    whose the guy in your avatar ????

    Leave a comment:


  • UmmAbdulMalik
    replied
    Re: Biodata/Marriage CV

    ^

    These rather ridiculous stipulations and bigoted requirements are precisely why marriages are breaking down left right and centre.
    The superficiality and shallowness presented by such families is absolutely astounding.

    It's failed logic to believe we can uphold and maintain the sanctity and beauty of marriage, if we're infiltrating this consitution with our own bigoted self-interests of pride, and honour.

    Sure, there is no harm in pursuing a respectable man, but there should remain a prioritisation for more important aspects, especially deen and good mannerisms.

    These cannot be taught by any prestigious college or medical school, these are acquired traits and blessings which come from Allah. Thus, it is only in our best interests that we reject these pervasive cultural standards of marriage, and instead uphold our religious virtues of good character and good deen. After all, he who rejects or undermines the message of the Messenger peace be him will surely be regretful.

    Leave a comment:


  • TazZ-
    replied
    Re: Biodata/Marriage CV

    Originally posted by pointless View Post
    Forget degree and stuff.

    I just remembered someone put their GCSE grades in, too.

    If you already got your degree, what's GCSE got to do with it. I do not want to know what someone did in elementary school.

    An aunty inquired about my gcse grades . I asked why and she said , "My daughter was an straight A student so she wants someone who is like her in studies ."

    Leave a comment:


  • umm salabil
    replied
    Re: Biodata/Marriage CV

    Originally posted by Aloo View Post
    Perfect Resume of Wife

    2005 - Present
    -Successfully learned how to cook several types of dishes. Take initiative to improvise and learn more.
    -Washed hundreds of articles of clothing and dried them with minimal supervision.
    -Collaborated with other family members to learn the proper methods of cleaning and maintaining a home.
    Add to that the following and she should be all set :)

    Always have a smile the face
    speak in a soft polite voice -at least as long as we aren't familiar
    cook clean and dutifully do all chores even when pissed

    Leave a comment:


  • pointless
    replied
    Re: Biodata/Marriage CV

    Forget degree and stuff.

    I just remembered someone put their GCSE grades in, too.

    If you already got your degree, what's GCSE got to do with it. I do not want to know what someone did in elementary school.

    Leave a comment:


  • sawm
    replied
    Re: Biodata/Marriage CV

    I may just give a signed copy of my biography........

    Leave a comment:


  • pointless
    replied
    Re: Biodata/Marriage CV

    Originally posted by Aloo View Post
    Perfect Resume of Wife

    2005 - Present
    -Successfully learned how to cook several types of dishes. Take initiative to improvise and learn more.
    -Washed hundreds of articles of clothing and dried them with minimal supervision.
    -Collaborated with other family members to learn the proper methods of cleaning and maintaining a home.
    That's all?

    If I was a brother, I would have had more.

    Leave a comment:

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