Ads by Muslim Ad Network

Announcement

Collapse
No announcement yet.

What's the 'politest' way of rejecting a suitor?

Collapse
X
 
  • Filter
  • Time
  • Show
Clear All
new posts

  • What's the 'politest' way of rejecting a suitor?

    Let's say a girl asked her parents to find potential suitors for her. And she doesn't like some of them or all of them, how should she reject them?
    Would a simple 'no', do it?
    Because often people want an 'explanation' (which is ridiculous really and pointless).
    So what's the politest way to reject suitors (e.g how would you tell your parents, the suitor and the suitors family that you're not interested?)

    This may seem like an easy task for some. But some people find it hard disappointing others especially when their communication skills suddenly vanishes under such circumstances. And social anxiety kicks in, full blast.

    Thanks

  • #2
    Re: What's the 'politest' way of rejecting a suitor?

    Well,its kinda rude not to give a reason when you reject someone. When you say no,to the person just add the reason why you don't want to marry them.
    Speak to them with kindness and gentleness because rejection is painful for most people.
    Good luck
    Ya Allah,
    Make me a stronger person today. Make me a better person out of all these. It is no longer bearable for me for my heart is aching and You are the only One who knows how I feel. Nothing is making sense to myself and for anyone else for that matter especially to the one person I wish to understand me better than anybody else.
    "Don't use the sharpness of your tongue on the mother who taught you how to speak

    Comment


    • #3
      Re: What's the 'politest' way of rejecting a suitor?

      You should make istikhara and then say it wasnt positive (if that was really the case).
      “Mix with the noble people, you become one of them; and keep away from evil people so that you protect yourself from their evils.”


      Hadhrat Ali (Radiallahu anhu)

      Comment


      • #4
        Re: What's the 'politest' way of rejecting a suitor?

        Say she is not interested. Or that she doesn't like him. If there is another reason, then give it, like not religious enough or not well educated etc.

        Comment


        • #5
          What's the 'politest' way of rejecting a suitor?

          Thank you but i don't want to proceed any further, you don't interest me at this stage, may Allah grant you someone pious..

          :scratch: ?
          إقراء القران فإنه يأتي يوم القيامة شفيعا لأصحابه

          Comment


          • #6
            Re: What's the 'politest' way of rejecting a suitor?

            Saying she doesnt like him is just not nice.
            “Mix with the noble people, you become one of them; and keep away from evil people so that you protect yourself from their evils.”


            Hadhrat Ali (Radiallahu anhu)

            Comment


            • #7
              Re: What's the 'politest' way of rejecting a suitor?

              Don't even bother trying to be polite.

              I did the most politest rejection , included a beautiful dua even, only to have the person sulk and their parents complain. I was like gimme a break, IDC about your feelings, that was me being nice. :p
              Gone with the wind.

              Comment


              • #8
                Re: What's the 'politest' way of rejecting a suitor?

                It's not ridiculous to ask for a reason as to why he was rejected - be honest.

                Flip the situation around, you would also want an explanation.

                It could simple be a comparability issue, 'we're not compatible in terms of deen and personality - may Allah grant you with a spouse more suited to you'

                That's all, obviously if it's something to do with looks then I would avoid mentioning that as it can hurt the others feelings.
                My Lord sanctify my flawed heart
                As You have sanctified Your house,
                Make my heart as protected and as honoured
                In which permission of entry
                Is only granted to a few,
                Please Allah, allow my heart
                To be preserved only for You.



                ---


                It hurts, to watch you leave so soon,
                when I don't know, if I will ever see you again
                In Jannah, we will meet :love:


                If I have ever offended, hurt or insulted you, forgive me for the sake of Allah سبحانه وتعالى‎

                Comment


                • #9
                  What's the 'politest' way of rejecting a suitor?

                  A simple 'no' is not sufficient
                  you must give a reason,
                  "O you who are patient! Bear a little, just a little more remains

                  Enter your emotion and it gives you a dua!

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Re: What's the 'politest' way of rejecting a suitor?

                    Well if there is something you dont like about him personally... Then DON'T mention it...

                    It might b big deal for you but Allah will definitely help him find a suitable match who will like him with such flaws.. (Unless they are major sins for for which you rejected him)



                    Now if u don't like his religiosity, then u can say that... But b precise wat u don't like.


                    Otherwise general answer would b "I don't think we are compatible"

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Re: What's the 'politest' way of rejecting a suitor?

                      Originally posted by Rebel101 View Post
                      Don't even bother trying to be polite.

                      I did the most politest rejection , included a beautiful dua even, only to have the person sulk and their parents complain. I was like gimme a break, IDC about your feelings, that was me being nice. :p
                      Exactly

                      And some suitors can't accept rejection. Its not like they had feelings for me or we were serious etc. I don't see why they're so hurt. Its like they're emotionally blackmailikng me into 'accepting' them out of PITY. No marriage should be based on pity. Eurgh!

                      And tbh I don't see why I should give a detailed reason for rejecting. All I say is "I don't think we're suited". But some suitors/suitor family ask for a detailed explanation, like I'm some kind of 'Trisha' or 'Jeremy Kyle'!

                      Personally if someone rejected me, I wouldn't bother with their reasons. I'd simply move on and search for someone else. That's what normal healthy-minded people do, right? Right? Right? (-_-)

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        Re: What's the 'politest' way of rejecting a suitor?

                        Originally posted by bengali_muslima View Post
                        Exactly

                        And some suitors can't accept rejection. Its not like they had feelings for me or we were serious etc. I don't see why they're so hurt. Its like they're emotionally blackmailikng me into 'accepting' them out of PITY. No marriage should be based on pity. Eurgh!

                        And tbh I don't see why I should give a detailed reason for rejecting. All I say is "I don't think we're suited". But some suitors/suitor family ask for a detailed explanation, like I'm some kind of 'Trisha' or 'Jeremy Kyle'!

                        Personally if someone rejected me, I wouldn't bother with their reasons. I'd simply move on and search for someone else. That's what normal healthy-minded people do, right? Right? Right? (-_-)

                        Yeah coz u knowz dat u iz weird....

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          Re: What's the 'politest' way of rejecting a suitor?

                          Originally posted by Rebel101 View Post
                          Don't even bother trying to be polite.

                          I did the most politest rejection , included a beautiful dua even, only to have the person sulk and their parents complain. I was like gimme a break, IDC about your feelings, that was me being nice. :p
                          Yeah right! Great advise by Sheikha Rebel... Bravo...

                          Just say
                          Eg "you are short!!"

                          N then see the reaction.....

                          Would definitely b better than being polite....

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            Re: What's the 'politest' way of rejecting a suitor?

                            Sister you need to understand not everyone is as accepting as you. Some people might have generally liked you,and just saying no is not sufficient. Its a human nature to.understand something and they want to know what you didn't like about them. Just state their fault and be polite. Remember Allah loves those who are gentle and kind.
                            Consider their feelings
                            Ya Allah,
                            Make me a stronger person today. Make me a better person out of all these. It is no longer bearable for me for my heart is aching and You are the only One who knows how I feel. Nothing is making sense to myself and for anyone else for that matter especially to the one person I wish to understand me better than anybody else.
                            "Don't use the sharpness of your tongue on the mother who taught you how to speak

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              Re: What's the 'politest' way of rejecting a suitor?

                              Originally posted by Revertbrother View Post
                              Yeah coz u knowz dat u iz weird....
                              How am I weird for moving on and letting people spare me excuses/reasons ? :/ I'm laidback and I don't grill people with 'why's' or a trillion questions and essays based on 'why' they decided something.
                              Maybe I'd grill my future husband in this way lol but I don't grill suitors or everyday people in this way. Time is precious. And oxygen.

                              Comment

                              Working...
                              X