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What's the 'politest' way of rejecting a suitor?

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  • #61
    You don't have to give a reason if you don't want to.
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    • #62
      Re: What's the 'politest' way of rejecting a suitor?

      It's the job of the wali. Nothing a woman should worry herself over.

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      • #63
        Re: What's the 'politest' way of rejecting a suitor?

        Originally posted by pointless View Post
        Sis, I edit my posts almost always. Personally, it is because I am still thought processing and like to add in my after thoughts which I feel will add to my point.

        I think it is common to do that on a forum.
        It's pointless to post to a thread and then remove your post (unless it was offensive). Don't bother posting if you'll just delete your post. Its annoying and pointless
        I hope that has no connection to why you chose your username

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        • #64
          Re: What's the 'politest' way of rejecting a suitor?

          Originally posted by bengali_muslima View Post
          Let's say a girl asked her parents to find potential suitors for her. And she doesn't like some of them or all of them, how should she reject them?
          Would a simple 'no', do it?
          Because often people want an 'explanation' (which is ridiculous really and pointless).
          So what's the politest way to reject suitors (e.g how would you tell your parents, the suitor and the suitors family that you're not interested?)

          This may seem like an easy task for some. But some people find it hard disappointing others especially when their communication skills suddenly vanishes under such circumstances. And social anxiety kicks in, full blast.

          Thanks
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          • #65
            Re: What's the 'politest' way of rejecting a suitor?

            Has this woman met the suitor already or is she just basing it on his picture?

            If she met him and is not interested then quite simply state the truth, hes a nice guy but I didn't feel much of a connection to him.

            Pretty simple I think.

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            • #66
              Re: What's the 'politest' way of rejecting a suitor?

              Originally posted by bengali_muslima View Post
              It's pointless to post to a thread and then remove your post (unless it was offensive). Don't bother posting if you'll just delete your post. Its annoying and pointless
              I hope that has no connection to why you chose your username
              Hmm… frankly, I'd much rather someone edited their post especially if it contained something offensive than for me to read it. At least, I will know that the brother or sister has realised their mistake and acted on it. Some are very eloquent and are able to gather all their thoughts in one go. I say ma shaa Allah.

              Alhamdulillah, at least we can edit. In real life, once a word leaves ones mouth it is too late. I agree we should have more control over what we say or do. But, sister, the reason for editing is not always due to offensive reasons.

              As for my username, I do bite my tongue. But I cannot change it nor do I wish to create a second account causing confusion. I do not feel my username is offensive. Negative, true which is why I wish I chose something more positive.

              Khair. It just happened that way under the circumstances and I cannot 'edit' it. (feel free to imagine a big sweat drop emoticon if you wish or anything that conveys embarrassment)

              Note to lurking guests: choose your usernames sensibly.
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              • #67
                Re: What's the 'politest' way of rejecting a suitor?

                Originally posted by Revertbrother View Post
                Well if there is something you dont like about him personally... Then DON'T mention it...

                It might b big deal for you but Allah will definitely help him find a suitable match who will like him with such flaws.. (Unless they are major sins for for which you rejected him)
                No fair, how come men have no trouble telling us why truthfully? Can't tell you the amount of times i've been rejected because they think i'm too 'insecure' :(

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                • #68
                  Re: What's the 'politest' way of rejecting a suitor?

                  Originally posted by pointless View Post
                  Hmm… frankly, I'd much rather someone edited their post especially if it contained something offensive than for me to read it. At least, I will know that the brother or sister has realised their mistake and acted on it. Some are very eloquent and are able to gather all their thoughts in one go. I say ma shaa Allah.

                  Alhamdulillah, at least we can edit. In real life, once a word leaves ones mouth it is too late. I agree we should have more control over what we say or do. But, sister, the reason for editing is not always due to offensive reasons.

                  As for my username, I do bite my tongue. But I cannot change it nor do I wish to create a second account causing confusion. I do not feel my username is offensive. Negative, true which is why I wish I chose something more positive.

                  Khair. It just happened that way under the circumstances and I cannot 'edit' it. (feel free to imagine a big sweat drop emoticon if you wish or anything that conveys embarrassment)

                  Note to lurking guests: choose your usernames sensibly.
                  Lmao this has nothing to do with your username. I said IF you (or patient_believer) didn't type anything offensive, then why did you edit your posts?
                  Let me repeat: it's pointless to post to a thread and then remove your post (unless it was offensive). Don't bother posting if you'll just delete your post.

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                  • #69
                    Re: What's the 'politest' way of rejecting a suitor?

                    my mum says 'she wants to study more'

                    they tend to leave us alone after that

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                    • #70
                      Re: What's the 'politest' way of rejecting a suitor?

                      :salams

                      A simple "not compatible" should be enough + a sincere dua'a. Insha'Allah.

                      Originally posted by bengali_muslima View Post
                      Lmao this has nothing to do with your username. I said IF you (or patient_believer) didn't type anything offensive, then why did you edit your posts?
                      Let me repeat: it's pointless to post to a thread and then remove your post (unless it was offensive). Don't bother posting if you'll just delete your post.
                      People can edit their posts for a lot of reason. It doesn't have to be offensive.

                      Originally posted by cho09082489 View Post
                      my mum says 'she wants to study more'

                      they tend to leave us alone after that
                      Why?
                      Secure few moments, everyday, to reflect upon the innumerable blessings of Allah and thank Him for bestowing them upon you.

                      "A person who is blessed with the ability to be grateful, shall never be deprived of barakah and increase in blessings."
                      - Rasulullah (صلی اللہ علیہ وسلم)‎

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                      • #71
                        Re: What's the 'politest' way of rejecting a suitor?

                        I'm not feeling it, there, that's reason enough. What difference does a reason make? I don't want to have to justify a refusal, no means no. Maybe I'm just a tad bit cold that way.

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                        • #72
                          Re: What's the 'politest' way of rejecting a suitor?

                          Originally posted by .mirror. View Post


                          Why?
                          i suspect it has much to do with how effective her servitude to them as daughter in law will be and how much this can be stretched

                          daughter in law must be the main job and top priority, before the marriage even

                          if you're going to do other stuff then you really are not the best most hardworking slave

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                          • #73
                            Re: What's the 'politest' way of rejecting a suitor?

                            Originally posted by kakashi View Post
                            [ATTACH=CONFIG]75369[/ATTACH]
                            It be them brothers trying to get girlfriends with Niqabis.
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                            • #74
                              Re: What's the 'politest' way of rejecting a suitor?

                              Originally posted by StrivingforDeen View Post
                              It be them brothers trying to get girlfriends with Niqabis.
                              Lol, them brothers are wastemans!

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                              • #75
                                Re: What's the 'politest' way of rejecting a suitor?

                                No
                                Ibnul Qayyim رحمه الله said: "Don’t ruin your happiness with worry, and don’t ruin your mind with pessimism. Don’t ruin your success with deception and don’t ruin the optimism of others by destroying it. Don’t ruin your day by looking back at yesterday.
                                __________________________________________________ _____________________________
                                If you think about your situation, you will find that Allaah (سبحانه وتعالى) has given you things without asking, so have trust in Allaah (سبحانه وتعالى) that He doesn’t prevent anything you want except there is goodness for you.

                                You could be sleeping and the doors of the heavens are being opened with dua’as being made on your behalf, SubhanAllaah: perhaps from someone poor whom you helped, or someone sad whom you brought joy, or someone passing by and you smiled at him, or someone in distress and you removed it.. so don’t ever underestimate any good deeds."



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