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is it ok to complement a potential?

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  • is it ok to complement a potential?

    :salams

    ok so lets say you've exchanged photos with a potential for the sake of marriage obviously and you know at point where you need to let the potential know that you like the way they look, how would you do it in an appropriate manner? somehow telling a person they pretty just seems inappropriate cause its a potential and not a wife how would you let them know that you happy with the way they look? basically get the message across that they look really pretty but in an appropriate manner

    :jkk:
    meow

  • #2
    Re: is it ok to complement a potential?

    you just say you happy to go along thank you for sending me your picture, nice. and then move it along...you do not need to go overboard with compliment...if you say she pretty infront of her father...will you? think about it...
    Women lost their modesty when men lost their gheerah..” .

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    • #3
      Re: is it ok to complement a potential?

      :wswrwb:

      You don't have to tell her or anyone else in her family that you think she looks good.

      If you wanna pursue the proposal further, that's an indication you're happy with the way she looks. No need to do it directly.
      Secure few moments, everyday, to reflect upon the innumerable blessings of Allah and thank Him for bestowing them upon you.

      "A person who is blessed with the ability to be grateful, shall never be deprived of barakah and increase in blessings."
      - Rasulullah (صلی اللہ علیہ وسلم)‎

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      • #4
        Re: is it ok to complement a potential?

        Originally posted by shay5 View Post
        you just say you happy to go along thank you for sending me your picture, nice. and then move it along...you do not need to go overboard with compliment...if you say she pretty infront of her father...will you? think about it...
        as i stated saying pretty specifically i feel is inappropriate but i want to get the message across in a way that is appropriate so want to choose the right words to get the message across i thought of saying happy to go along etc but that also kinda seems overboard i dnt know i'm confused on how to say it :scratch: and if i were sitting in front of this person i would probably be red like a tomato so words wouldn't really be necessary
        meow

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        • #5
          Re: is it ok to complement a potential?

          Originally posted by .mirror. View Post
          :wswrwb:

          You don't have to tell her or anyone else in her family that you think she looks good.

          If you wanna pursue the proposal further, that's an indication you're happy with the way she looks. No need to do it directly.
          but its at a point where i kind of feel the need to specifically respond with how i think she looks
          meow

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          • #6
            Re: is it ok to complement a potential?

            Originally posted by al-muslim View Post
            but its at a point where i kind of have to specifically respond with how i think she looks
            Why is that?

            If someone at her side is asking you directly, just say "Alhamdulillah, I am happy with it."
            Secure few moments, everyday, to reflect upon the innumerable blessings of Allah and thank Him for bestowing them upon you.

            "A person who is blessed with the ability to be grateful, shall never be deprived of barakah and increase in blessings."
            - Rasulullah (صلی اللہ علیہ وسلم)‎

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            • #7
              Re: is it ok to complement a potential?

              I don't think saying she is pretty is inappropriate. Depends how you say it I guess and who to

              I said something to the father of the potential and he agreed. He agreed with the compliment and said something really nice. Won't say here
              Ya Muqallib Al-Quloob Thabbit Qalbi Alaa Deenik
              ( O changer of hearts, keep my heart steadfast on your deen)

              www.treasureofthescholars.wordpress.com

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              • #8
                Re: is it ok to complement a potential?

                Originally posted by .mirror. View Post
                Why is that?

                If someone at her side is asking you directly, just say "Alhamdulillah, I am happy with it."
                i don't know how to explain it but i think its sort of implied that i should respond with what i think of her looks, even if it isn't it couldn't it could come off as bit rude if i don't somehow get the message across that i find her pretty?
                meow

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                • #9
                  Re: is it ok to complement a potential?

                  Originally posted by firestar101 View Post
                  I don't think saying she is pretty is inappropriate. Depends how you say it I guess and who to

                  I said something to the father of the potential and he agreed. He agreed with the compliment and said something really nice. Won't say here
                  Lol. If a man says that to my father it will be an awkward silence and if I'm there I'll probably wanna run and hide.

                  --

                  OP - i think you over thinking it .. No need for that IMO. Just be like alhamdulilah im happy with everything so far, let's see how it goes from here.
                  O people who take pleasure in a life that will vanish, falling in love with a fading shadow is sheer stupidity~ Ibn Qayyim Al-Jawziyya

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                  • #10
                    Re: is it ok to complement a potential?

                    I see nothing wrong with it either

                    Compliments are nice, they brighten up your day. You can compliment people in many ways

                    you're so smart mA
                    you are so brave
                    nice car
                    you are a good muslim
                    you are very talented

                    these things are not haraam so why should stating the obvious be?

                    saying a girl is beautiful is a compliment to her parents too, where do you think the beauty came from?

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Re: is it ok to complement a potential?

                      Originally posted by fumke View Post
                      I see nothing wrong with it either

                      Compliments are nice, they brighten up your day. You can compliment people in many ways

                      you're so smart mA
                      you are so brave
                      nice car
                      you are a good muslim
                      you are very talented

                      these things are not haraam so why should stating the obvious be?

                      saying a girl is beautiful is a compliment to her parents too, where do you think the beauty came from?
                      loool
                      Gender: Male

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                      • #12
                        Re: is it ok to complement a potential?

                        Originally posted by fumke View Post
                        I see nothing wrong with it either

                        Compliments are nice, they brighten up your day. You can compliment people in many ways

                        you're so smart mA
                        you are so brave
                        nice car
                        you are a good muslim
                        you are very talented

                        these things are not haraam so why should stating the obvious be?

                        saying a girl is beautiful is a compliment to her parents too, where do you think the beauty came from?
                        actually not sure you have this correct

                        Firstly and obviously there is the issue of mehram and idle talk etc

                        but also praising a person to their face is undesireable in islam

                        1788. Abu Musa Al-Ash`ari (May Allah be pleased with him) said: The Prophet (sallallaahu ’alayhi wa sallam) heard a person lauding another person or praising him too much. Thereupon he said, "You killed the man,'' or he said, "You ruined the man.''
                        [Al-Bukhari and Muslim].



                        1789. Abu Bakrah (May Allah be pleased with him) reported: Mention of a man was made to the Prophet (sallallaahu ’alayhi wa sallam) and someone praised him whereupon he (sallallaahu ’alayhi wa sallam) said, "Woe be to you! You have broken the neck of your friend!'' He repeated this several times and added, "If one of you has to praise his friend at all, he should say: `I reckon him to be such and such and Allah knows him well', if you think him to be so-and-so, you will be accountable to Allah because no one can testify the purity of others against Allah.''
                        [Al-Bukhari and Muslim].

                        Commentary: This Hadith prohibits us from praising anyone in his face. If at all one has to praise someone, he should say that "In my opinion he is such and such,'' provided he really thinks as he says. The reason for this is that it is Allah Alone Who knows him thoroughly and none can claim to be innocent before Him

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                        • #13
                          Re: is it ok to complement a potential?

                          There's a difference between saying, 'oh :masha: you seem to have worked hard to get to were you are right now' compared to 'you're beautiful :masha:'

                          The latter may create fitna and she's still a non-mahram, don't be telling her she's pretty or whatever. Say Alhamdullilah I have no objections with moving forward or something along those lines.

                          Sis told me of a potential that said something like 'I like what I see' - even though he probably didn't mean any harm by it, it sounded wrong and made her lose a little respect for him.
                          My Lord sanctify my flawed heart
                          As You have sanctified Your house,
                          Make my heart as protected and as honoured
                          In which permission of entry
                          Is only granted to a few,
                          Please Allah, allow my heart
                          To be preserved only for You.



                          ---


                          It hurts, to watch you leave so soon,
                          when I don't know, if I will ever see you again
                          In Jannah, we will meet :love:


                          If I have ever offended, hurt or insulted you, forgive me for the sake of Allah سبحانه وتعالى‎

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                          • #14
                            Re: is it ok to complement a potential?

                            Originally posted by *sheba* View Post
                            Lol. If a man says that to my father it will be an awkward silence and if I'm there I'll probably wanna run and hide.

                            --

                            OP - i think you over thinking it .. No need for that IMO. Just be like alhamdulilah im happy with everything so far, let's see how it goes from here.
                            i've been thinking of going for that but i don't know, i may be overthinking it i don't know :scratch: if i can't find a better way to go about it then i'll probably just go with that
                            maybe just send a picture of a tomato back, a pic is worth a thousand words after all :rotfl:
                            meow

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              Re: is it ok to complement a potential?

                              Originally posted by sunrise867 View Post
                              There's a difference between saying, 'oh :masha: you seem to have worked hard to get to were you are right now' compared to 'you're beautiful :masha:'

                              The latter may create fitna and she's still a non-mahram, don't be telling her she's pretty or whatever. Say Alhamdullilah I have no objections with moving forward or something along those lines.

                              Sis told me of a potential that said something like 'I like what I see' - even though he probably didn't mean any harm by it, it sounded wrong and made her lose a little respect for him.
                              i'm trying to avoid the part in bold, the italicized part sounds appropriate i guess the underlined part doesn't make sense in the context, what's working hard got to do with looks? sounds like a way of complimenting a person for an achievement in their career or something like that
                              meow

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