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  • approaching someone directly

    Say you don't know her family and can't get someone else to do it for you.

    Then would this be considered acceptable?

    Discuss.
    http://kondori.wordpress.com/

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    HasbunAllah Wani'mal Wakeel | حسبنا الله ونعم الوكيل

    Allah is Sufficient for us, and He is the Best Disposer of affairs.

    "...its better to light a small candle than to curse the darkness..."

    "We need to emphasise that differences of fiqh are the not the depth of religion, the depth of religion is piety." ~
    Shaykh Akram Nadwi


    Salātullāhi wa Salāmuhu ‘alayka ya Rasūlallāh


    http://37.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lj...2vbxo1_500.jpg

  • #2
    approaching someone directly

    Why wouldn't it be? I think it's fine.

    You are contacting her solely for the purpose of marriage and nothing else.

    Allahu a'lam
    إقراء القران فإنه يأتي يوم القيامة شفيعا لأصحابه

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    • #3
      Re: approaching someone directly

      It depends on what you mean by 'approaching her directly' for example if that's someone you've seen physically and you approach her that way maybe she'll get a bit freaked out, probably better to do it via email or something tbh and make it clear to her you have no ill intentions you want her to show the message to her wali and have his details etc

      Also try your hardest to get someone else to relay the message to her if possible.
      My Lord sanctify my flawed heart
      As You have sanctified Your house,
      Make my heart as protected and as honoured
      In which permission of entry
      Is only granted to a few,
      Please Allah, allow my heart
      To be preserved only for You.



      ---


      It hurts, to watch you leave so soon,
      when I don't know, if I will ever see you again
      In Jannah, we will meet :love:


      If I have ever offended, hurt or insulted you, forgive me for the sake of Allah سبحانه وتعالى‎

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      • #4
        Re: approaching someone directly

        I don't see why not, how else would it happen
        "Why Do We Fill Our Hearts With Everything But Allah And Expect Not To Fall Apart"

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        • #5
          Re: approaching someone directly

          Yeah like you could say something like, can I have your wali's contact details. I'd like to marry you.

          Comment


          • #6
            Re: approaching someone directly

            Originally posted by umm salabil View Post
            Yeah like you could say something like, can I have your wali's contact details. I'd like to marry you.
            LOL.

            Major LOL.

            Just thinking about that makes me squerm.

            Gosh.

            Ah it's just so bloody awkward, SO insanely awkward.
            OP - don't do what she said. Myself and most other sisters would be a tad scared, I would anyway. Most definently. It'd be a little flattering but all the more awkard tbh.
            Just get someone else to find out info about her for you. Don't do it yourself.

            Or email her if you can get her email.
            Use some portal of information. Just don't don't directly.

            Comment


            • #7
              Re: approaching someone directly

              Originally posted by UmmAbdulMalik View Post
              LOL.

              Major LOL.

              Just thinking about that makes me squerm.

              Gosh.

              Ah it's just so bloody awkward, SO insanely awkward.
              OP - don't do what she said. Myself and most other sisters would be a tad scared, I would anyway. Most definently. It'd be a little flattering but all the more awkard tbh.
              Just get someone else to find out info about her for you. Don't do it yourself.

              Or email her if you can get her email.
              Use some portal of information. Just don't don't directly.
              Hmm so it's okay to say "can I have your phone number" but not "can I have your father's phone number"

              It's true. Some may not like it. Might be better to have your sister do it.

              Comment


              • #8
                Re: approaching someone directly

                ..
                Last edited by AlaaIbnHadhrami; 12-02-15, 09:25 PM. Reason: Shdnt be talking

                Comment


                • #9
                  Re: approaching someone directly

                  Originally posted by Uthman Ibn Afan View Post
                  Say you don't know her family and can't get someone else to do it for you.

                  Then would this be considered acceptable?

                  Discuss.
                  ill say one thing the guy must be pretty confident to do it lol

                  Originally posted by umm salabil View Post
                  Hmm so it's okay to say "can I have your phone number" but not "can I have your father's phone number"

                  It's true. Some may not like it. Might be better to have your sister do it.
                  you just remixed it lol

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Re: approaching someone directly

                    :salams

                    If the brother has seen the sister frequently (for example, she is regularly seen entering certain establishments on a particular day or frequents the same areas), then the brother's mahram women could be taken along one day that she is known to be there and perhaps approach her on the brother's behalf.

                    If the brother has only seen her once, then it is much more complicated. If the brother is not inclined to approach her directly then sincere du'a should be made that a pathway is opened up to get her details in an appropriate manner is made, if there is khayr in the situation. Allah is able to do all things and with this knowledge, we should all know that everything is under His control and He will make a suitable pathway for us, if it is good for our deen and our life. Otherwise, we will be given something better than what we asked for.

                    I will have to be bluntly truthful when I say that many sisters who are modest girls would be mortified at being approached directly by a non-mahram under such circumstances. As such, I would personally advise my own brother against such an approach. However, each to their own. If one feels that it is the only way, then approach with caution. But be prepared for rejection or her running across the road away from the brother in question.
                    ⚔ Even in death may you be triumphant ⚔
                    U.F Sadaqah Jariyah Project

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Re: approaching someone directly

                      Originally posted by Meriadoc View Post
                      :salams

                      If the brother has seen the sister frequently (for example, she is regularly seen entering certain establishments on a particular day or frequents the same areas), then the brother's mahram women could be taken along one day that she is known to be there and perhaps approach her on the brother's behalf.

                      If the brother has only seen her once, then it is much more complicated. If the brother is not inclined to approach her directly then sincere du'a should be made that a pathway is opened up to get her details in an appropriate manner is made, if there is khayr in the situation. Allah is able to do all things and with this knowledge, we should all know that everything is under His control and He will make a suitable pathway for us, if it is good for our deen and our life. Otherwise, we will be given something better than what we asked for.

                      I will have to be bluntly truthful when I say that many sisters who are modest girls would be mortified at being approached directly by a non-mahram under such circumstances. As such, I would personally advise my own brother against such an approach. However, each to their own. If one feels that it is the only way, then approach with caution. But be prepared for rejection or her running across the road away from the brother in question.
                      I assumed this was regarding someone the person had gotten to know for example in a class setting and not someone he saw once or from a distance.

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        Re: approaching someone directly

                        I`m sure it is ok, purify your intentions first InshAllah
                        But op don`t ask for her number,
                        "O you who are patient! Bear a little, just a little more remains

                        Enter your emotion and it gives you a dua!

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                        • #13
                          Re: approaching someone directly

                          If you are really confident, do it. I know I won't.
                          I rather be hated by everybody else, but loved by Allah. Than be loved by everybody else and hated by Allah.

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                          • #14
                            approaching someone directly

                            was just a general thought, I don't know anyone at moment... ...but the email (or PM) option sounds good
                            http://kondori.wordpress.com/

                            Like this page on FB
                            HasbunAllah Wani'mal Wakeel | حسبنا الله ونعم الوكيل

                            Allah is Sufficient for us, and He is the Best Disposer of affairs.

                            "...its better to light a small candle than to curse the darkness..."

                            "We need to emphasise that differences of fiqh are the not the depth of religion, the depth of religion is piety." ~
                            Shaykh Akram Nadwi


                            Salātullāhi wa Salāmuhu ‘alayka ya Rasūlallāh


                            http://37.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lj...2vbxo1_500.jpg

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              Re: approaching someone directly

                              Originally posted by Uthman Ibn Afan View Post
                              Say you don't know her family and can't get someone else to do it for you...
                              I'm here bro.

                              :-D

                              Comment

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