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Sisters? your best friend?

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  • #46
    Re: Sisters? your best friend?

    Originally posted by مسلمة View Post
    No I wouldn't because I imagine the 'friend' would use certain things I'd told her against me if she was married to my husband. There's a reason why I don't have a best friend.
    Well then she ain't a friend isn't she?

    لا تفكر كثيرا
    بل استغفر كثيرا

    -------------------------------------------------------
    The children need your prayers more than anyone else
    -------------------------------------------------------
    www.inheritorsofquran.wordpress.com

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    • #47
      Re: Sisters? your best friend?

      Originally posted by F_R View Post
      You must spread Reputation around before giving it to sunrise867 again.

      I agree with aabdall when he said it's selfish. Unless they are willing to help the sister with her struggle with other means (in their capability) then it won't be selfish.

      One married friend already did recommend btw but circumstances. Just her recommendation or suggestion was enough to know she's a lady. May Allah accept from her all her efforts and grant her many righteous children and make her of those women to whom it'll be said enter Jannah through any gate you wish ameen.
      Awww Ameen!

      :masha: I have yet to personally meet someone who would 'offer' to share their husband but I have heard of a sister like this from my friend. Like you, I would, if I saw her struggling and in need of a husband - that's the intention anyway and may Allah make it so when/if the actual time comes to do so ameen.
      My Lord sanctify my flawed heart
      As You have sanctified Your house,
      Make my heart as protected and as honoured
      In which permission of entry
      Is only granted to a few,
      Please Allah, allow my heart
      To be preserved only for You.



      ---


      It hurts, to watch you leave so soon,
      when I don't know, if I will ever see you again
      In Jannah, we will meet :love:


      If I have ever offended, hurt or insulted you, forgive me for the sake of Allah سبحانه وتعالى‎

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      • #48
        Re: Sisters? your best friend?

        Originally posted by sunrise867 View Post
        Awww Ameen!

        :masha: I have yet to personally meet someone who would 'offer' to share their husband but I have heard of a sister like this from my friend. Like you, I would, if I saw her struggling and in need of a husband - that's the intention anyway and may Allah make it so when/if the actual time comes to do so ameen.
        Ameen!

        p.s it's not husband sharing, it's husband marrying again. Not us sharing a husband, I wouldn't share a human being but the human being would simply marry again. No sharing. That sounds weird. I wouldn't even share Muraady boy with anyone or my mum or siblings or children. Humans aren't shared I think that objectifies them.

        لا تفكر كثيرا
        بل استغفر كثيرا

        -------------------------------------------------------
        The children need your prayers more than anyone else
        -------------------------------------------------------
        www.inheritorsofquran.wordpress.com

        Comment


        • #49
          Re: Sisters? your best friend?

          If I were a girl, I'd be so glad I was not friends with most of you who said no.

          "Yeah but, she can suffer. And I'll do my best to help her out but my husband is mine and even if it were the last resort, I wouldn't"

          How selfish does that sound. This one is even worse.

          "I'm the jealous type"

          So a human being(actually it is a family) has to suffer cuz 'your the jealous type'

          I think looking into this, people have become so individualistic and would rather protect their emotions than their Muslim brethren from hardship. Whatever happened to'love for your brother what you love for yourself'?

          Or maybe being a man, I just don't understand?

          What do you think? Fair claim that no means you're selfish and put your own happiness at the expense of your best friends suffering?
          Believe none of what you hear, and only half of what you see.

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          • #50
            Re: Sisters? your best friend?

            Originally posted by InTheBegining View Post
            If I were a girl, I'd be so glad I was not friends with most of you who said no.

            "Yeah but, she can suffer. And I'll do my best to help her out but my husband is mine and even if it were the last resort, I wouldn't"

            How selfish does that sound. This one is even worse.

            "I'm the jealous type"

            So a human being(actually it is a family) has to suffer cuz 'your the jealous type'

            I think looking into this, people have become so individualistic and would rather protect their emotions than their Muslim brethren from hardship. Whatever happened to'love for your brother what you love for yourself'?

            Or maybe being a man, I just don't understand?

            What do you think? Fair claim that no means you're selfish and put your own happiness at the expense of your best friends suffering?
            this doesnt effect me at all tbh

            im under no obligation to do this thing which is just so undesirable to me

            i'd do other things for her, men havent run out and benefit system is there for things like this

            i dont give a fig if people here call me selfish for it (genuine non angry tone)

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            • #51
              Re: Sisters? your best friend?

              Originally posted by InTheBegining View Post
              If I were a girl, I'd be so glad I was not friends with most of you who said no.

              "Yeah but, she can suffer. And I'll do my best to help her out but my husband is mine and even if it were the last resort, I wouldn't"

              How selfish does that sound. This one is even worse.

              "I'm the jealous type"

              So a human being(actually it is a family) has to suffer cuz 'your the jealous type'

              I think looking into this, people have become so individualistic and would rather protect their emotions than their Muslim brethren from hardship. Whatever happened to'love for your brother what you love for yourself'?

              Or maybe being a man, I just don't understand?

              What do you think? Fair claim that no means you're selfish and put your own happiness at the expense of your best friends suffering?
              My family member is in the same situation you mentioned - single mother raising two kids. She's not crying about the fact that none of her friends have offered her their husbands and nor would she be interested anyway. If she thought her friends were selfish, I assume they wouldn't be her friends.
              Last edited by Muslimah~S; 12-02-15, 03:38 PM.

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              • #52
                Re: Sisters? your best friend?

                Originally posted by F_R View Post
                Well then she ain't a friend isn't she?
                No, but you might think she is until she uses certain things against you.
                Last edited by Muslimah~S; 12-02-15, 03:51 PM.

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                • #53
                  Re: Sisters? your best friend?

                  When I was looking for a co-wife, I did ask my friends first. but being a co-wife isnt for everyone.
                  No Longer On UF

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                  • #54
                    Re: Sisters? your best friend?

                    Originally posted by muslimainblack View Post
                    Wa alaikum assallaam,

                    Yes I would .even though I think its difficult and it would be great test for my nafs but I think the reward with Allah is great. At the end husband is a means to get closer to Allah and not the goal
                    This.

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                    • #55
                      Re: Sisters? your best friend?

                      Originally posted by sister_82 View Post
                      When I was looking for a co-wife, I did ask my friends first. but being a co-wife isnt for everyone.
                      That's what I find a bit confusing - if someone doesn't want to be a co wife how are you depriving them of anything or being selfish?

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                      • #56
                        Re: Sisters? your best friend?

                        #sisterhood

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                        • #57
                          Re: Sisters? your best friend?

                          Originally posted by InTheBegining View Post
                          If I were a girl, I'd be so glad I was not friends with most of you who said no.

                          "Yeah but, she can suffer. And I'll do my best to help her out but my husband is mine and even if it were the last resort, I wouldn't"

                          How selfish does that sound. This one is even worse.

                          "I'm the jealous type"

                          So a human being(actually it is a family) has to suffer cuz 'your the jealous type'

                          I think looking into this, people have become so individualistic and would rather protect their emotions than their Muslim brethren from hardship. Whatever happened to'love for your brother what you love for yourself'?

                          Or maybe being a man, I just don't understand?

                          What do you think? Fair claim that no means you're selfish and put your own happiness at the expense of your best friends suffering?
                          Why do you think she's suffering in the first place? And if she is, what makes you think marrying her best friend's husband is going to make her suffering go away? Unless the suffering is financial and she needs a man for money
                          .but wait..wouldnt you guys then call her a golddigger?
                          Mrs B

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                          • #58
                            Re: Sisters? your best friend?

                            we need more sisters like the ones that voted yes.
                            لآ اِلَهَ اِلّا اللّهُ مُحَمَّدٌ رَسُوُل اللّهِ

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                            • #59
                              Re: Sisters? your best friend?

                              Oh and one more thing..what makes you OP think, all men would be comfortable raising someone else's kids? What if he actually can't afford to?
                              Mrs B

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                              • #60
                                Re: Sisters? your best friend?

                                Originally posted by مسلمة View Post
                                My family member is in the same situation you mentioned - single mother raising two kids. She's not crying about the fact that none of her friends have offered her their husbands and nor would she be interested anyway.
                                Same. My grandmother raised her 3 daughters (mum and aunts) when the oldest were just 5 years after their father died. Went thru hard times living in 2 neighborly countries because our country was at war back then. Raising, working and all of that yet she was never interested in marriage and was able to manage for decades with 3 daughters alone in North Africa.
                                Last edited by Saho; 12-02-15, 04:24 PM.

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