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  • Bed room sleeping time difficulty with wife

    Assalamu'Alakum brothers and sisters,

    i am posting here because I just want some advice on an issue which I find embarrassing asking others about- so please I hope everyone understands and responds maturely.

    I've been married for just over a year and during the day I don't feel like a married man because we don't sleep close together, we sleep On the same bed but each on the far sides, and on top of that every time I want to hold or touch her she slaps my hand away. And the coming of winter has made things worse.. She wraps her self in a separate duvet first and then our normal duvet that we both share. Alhamdulillah I've managed to improve things a little... As we first used to sleep with singe duvets in the beginning. The problem is I've always wanted to sleep close to my wife when I'm married but seems like this will never happen :(

    Anyone experiencing any similar difficulty? Any suggestions or tips how I could persuade my wife to remove that barrier... It's really annoying me.

    Jazakallah for reading my post. Hope to hear your suggestions, tips.

  • #2
    Re: Bed room sleeping time difficulty with wife

    wa alaykumus salaam,

    women need to feel close to someone before they want to get close to them, men feel close through that physical intimacy, so it could easily just be you need to get close to her emotionally outside the bed before snuggling up in the bed.
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    • #3
      Re: Bed room sleeping time difficulty with wife

      Did you talk to your wife about it? Did you ask her why she does not want to sleep close to you?
      If so what was her answer? If you haven't asked yet..... than please communicate with her.
      Forgiving others is not a weakness.
      It takes a strong person to forgive.

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      • #4
        Re: Bed room sleeping time difficulty with wife

        jzk for your reply.

        I have talked to her but it doesn't bother her. because of the distance i feel like cheating on her . it feels like I'm not getting enough.

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        • #5
          Re: Bed room sleeping time difficulty with wife

          Originally posted by MrWiseGuy View Post
          jzk for your reply.

          I have talked to her but it doesn't bother her. because of the distance i feel like cheating on her . it feels like I'm not getting enough.
          What do you mean it doesn't bother her?
          What's the exact reason she gave you?

          Please don't think about cheating. Brother, communication is the key.
          First find out the reasons "why" and work it out.
          Forgiving others is not a weakness.
          It takes a strong person to forgive.

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          • #6
            Re: Bed room sleeping time difficulty with wife

            Originally posted by Peace.Train View Post
            What do you mean it doesn't bother her?
            What's the exact reason she gave you?

            Please don't think about cheating. Brother, communication is the key.
            First find out the reasons "why" and work it out.
            I can relate to your misses, maybe she just doesnt want to be snuggled up to you becuase she likes her own space, but you need to be more nice and say nice things to her, to get her to feel more comfortable, and cheating is not the answer!

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            • #7
              Re: Bed room sleeping time difficulty with wife

              Originally posted by PatientGirl View Post
              I can relate to your misses, maybe she just doesnt want to be snuggled up to you becuase she likes her own space, but you need to be more nice and say nice things to her, to get her to feel more comfortable, and cheating is not the answer!
              Sister I think you quoted the wrong person :)
              Forgiving others is not a weakness.
              It takes a strong person to forgive.

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              • #8
                Re: Bed room sleeping time difficulty with wife

                The guy just wants to cuddle his wife and she won't let him and he obviously has needs

                This is a serious issue

                Guys don't avoid zina and suffer as a single guy with no halal outlet just to get married and not be wanted by his wife
                Ya Muqallib Al-Quloob Thabbit Qalbi Alaa Deenik
                ( O changer of hearts, keep my heart steadfast on your deen)

                www.treasureofthescholars.wordpress.com

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                • #9
                  Re: Bed room sleeping time difficulty with wife

                  Originally posted by PatientGirl
                  I dread to think what will happen to me, if this is the mentality of some men....
                  That's why they tell you to marry someone with good deen (in this case any deen at all would do the job)

                  they know the severity of their actions

                  What a disgusting thing to say, especially from someone who calls themselves a Muslim
                  Gender: Male

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                  • #10
                    Re: Bed room sleeping time difficulty with wife

                    Originally posted by PatientGirl
                    Oh dear....

                    Come on guys, tell me its not true!
                    Subhaan Allah please do not generalise ukhtis not all men think like this a man who fears Allah Swt and the last day will not commit zina.

                    Brother I strongly suggest talking about it in a non confrontational manner and maybe do nice things for her outside of the bed. Obviously I won't say what to do with your wife but I'm sure you'll understand what I mean by playing with your wife. Have you guys had any problems? Maybe that could be a factor as to why she's a bit distant as females tend to withhold or avoid relations or contact when they're angry.

                    Cheating isn't something to resort to I can understand another wife as that is not cheating and it is part of Islam so please refrain from this and do not let shaytaan win by playing on your whims and desires.

                    May Allah Swt ease your affairs and bless your marriage Aameen
                    Last edited by Souhayla; 06-02-15, 09:10 PM.
                    "Islam is like a bird, the body is the love of Allaah , the right wing is the love of Jannah, and the left wing is the fear of hell-fire, if you take away one of the wings, then the body will not fly and if you take away the body, the wings have no use" Ibn Taymiyyah RA

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                    • #11
                      Re: Bed room sleeping time difficulty with wife

                      Wa Alaikuma salaam.

                      Acki as much as this might seem like it's difficult it can probably be solved by simply talking and getting through that barrier of being shy about bringing up the subject with your spouse. I think once you talk about it together you'd be surprised and even if she might that she is having the same problem.


                      Shout out to the singletons thinking i am so not going to have this problem haha !
                      Believe none of what you hear, and only half of what you see.

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                      • #12
                        Re: Bed room sleeping time difficulty with wife

                        I'm really surprised to read some of the messages posted by some of the sisters. Sad, everyone thinks they have the same level of spirituality and iman.

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                        • #13
                          Re: Bed room sleeping time difficulty with wife

                          Cheating is not permitted cant believe you are willing to cheat on her
                          your poor wife

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                          • #14
                            Re: Bed room sleeping time difficulty with wife

                            Please please, those who have no good advice or nothing good to say, stop posting on this thread, its not a joke.
                            “Mix with the noble people, you become one of them; and keep away from evil people so that you protect yourself from their evils.”


                            Hadhrat Ali (Radiallahu anhu)

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                            • #15
                              Re: Bed room sleeping time difficulty with wife

                              Originally posted by Sky Lark View Post
                              Please please, those who have no good advice or nothing good to say, stop posting on this thread, its not a joke.
                              I apologize :p

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