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Marriage divorce and dowry

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  • Marriage divorce and dowry

    My nikkah was held mid last year but without Rukhsati (indo-pak term for sending off the bride to live with the groom) because of we both live in different countries. My husband applied for my visa and told me once i get visa he will come for rukhsati. At the time of nikah the dowry was set and divided into two halves, one half to be given at the time of rukhsati and the other half amount was written as deferred (no condition or time specified). Now after 7 months he and his family do not want to continue with the marriage and want to divorce me my questions are:

    1. If my husband did not bear any of my expenses and i am still living with my parents who do i obey or who gets the precedence in terms of obedience?
    2. Is it okay for him to divorce me because i was not able to prepare for an exam in time, which would have enabled me to get a job in his country; even though before nikah he did not mention any such condition and now is citing this as one of the reason and saying that i disobeyed?
    3. I have heard that if a girl gets divorced before she starts living with her husband Islamically she is entitled to half of the amount of the dowry, i asked him and he is refusing to give half the dowry stating No Rukhsati No Dowry. Is he correct or am i wrong?

    JazakAllah

  • #2
    Re: Marriage divorce and dowry

    Sorry, but it looks like ur husband adopted the western ideology where u and him are equal but u need to make money... talk to a mufti..
    Sorry I dont carry a conversation nor an argument with a sister. I just put my point of view in general for everybody and it is up to you to take it or leave it.

    Comment


    • #3
      Re: Marriage divorce and dowry

      I don't think these are questions you can get answers to in a forum/ please please find a reputable Aalim in sha Allah to help you because this is a very technical question rather than one that deals with sentiments. Had it been only the latter people might have been able to give you some kindness and support however I fear that your actual question requires sound factual knowledge.
      Allah make it easy for you sister and replace it with somethjng better ameen
      *~* Learn Patience from Aasiyah (RA); Loyalty from Khadhija (RA); Sincerity from Aisha (RA) and Steadfastness from Fatima (RA).*~*

      Comment


      • #4
        Re: Marriage divorce and dowry

        Was the marriage consummated at nikah
        That would be relevant to whether or not you get your mahr
        Ibnul Qayyim رحمه الله said: "Don’t ruin your happiness with worry, and don’t ruin your mind with pessimism. Don’t ruin your success with deception and don’t ruin the optimism of others by destroying it. Don’t ruin your day by looking back at yesterday.
        __________________________________________________ _____________________________
        If you think about your situation, you will find that Allaah (سبحانه وتعالى) has given you things without asking, so have trust in Allaah (سبحانه وتعالى) that He doesn’t prevent anything you want except there is goodness for you.

        You could be sleeping and the doors of the heavens are being opened with dua’as being made on your behalf, SubhanAllaah: perhaps from someone poor whom you helped, or someone sad whom you brought joy, or someone passing by and you smiled at him, or someone in distress and you removed it.. so don’t ever underestimate any good deeds."



        please donate to the Ummah forum sadaqa jariya project. Click on the link for for more information, and to make a donation- https://www.justgiving.com/sadaqah-jariyah-project/

        Comment


        • #5
          Re: Marriage divorce and dowry

          Originally posted by Zesty View Post
          I don't think these are questions you can get answers to in a forum/ please please find a reputable Aalim in sha Allah to help you because this is a very technical question rather than one that deals with sentiments. Had it been only the latter people might have been able to give you some kindness and support however I fear that your actual question requires sound factual knowledge.
          Allah make it easy for you sister and replace it with somethjng better ameen
          Ameen and zesty is right
          Ibnul Qayyim رحمه الله said: "Don’t ruin your happiness with worry, and don’t ruin your mind with pessimism. Don’t ruin your success with deception and don’t ruin the optimism of others by destroying it. Don’t ruin your day by looking back at yesterday.
          __________________________________________________ _____________________________
          If you think about your situation, you will find that Allaah (سبحانه وتعالى) has given you things without asking, so have trust in Allaah (سبحانه وتعالى) that He doesn’t prevent anything you want except there is goodness for you.

          You could be sleeping and the doors of the heavens are being opened with dua’as being made on your behalf, SubhanAllaah: perhaps from someone poor whom you helped, or someone sad whom you brought joy, or someone passing by and you smiled at him, or someone in distress and you removed it.. so don’t ever underestimate any good deeds."



          please donate to the Ummah forum sadaqa jariya project. Click on the link for for more information, and to make a donation- https://www.justgiving.com/sadaqah-jariyah-project/

          Comment


          • #6
            Re: Marriage divorce and dowry

            Asalam o Alaikum

            Thank you all for answering

            @insann my husband lives in the west so that probably one might expect that he and his family think along the lines of western ideology but what is surprising that they had not mentioned it before the nikah only when the nikah took place did they say that it was expected of me to give the exam.

            @Zesty and @Muslima London thank you for the dua and yes my problem is both emotional and islamic. Alhumdulillah i have a very supporting family and right now they are supporting me through this time. However i need answer to my questions whether i was wrong or was it somehow my fault that the marriage did not work. About the dowry part i only want it because my husband and my mil have continuously harassed me over the phone into giving the exam at their specified time or else they would divorce me, so yeah they have been threatening me with divorce for the last 6 months. Finally when i said i need 2-3 more months to prepare they said they cannot go along with the marriage because i did not complete my studies during their allotted time. I did ask them to bring in a mufti but they point blank refused my request.

            I don't know any alim or mufti nor anyone in my circle can help me regarding these queries. So i was wondering if any of the members of this forum might have an access to an alim or a mufti and can eventually answer them. I don't want to ask for dowry if its not allowed in islam. I don't want to commit sin just to get even with them.

            As far as haq mahr being given in half when no consummation took place, i read it on islamqa but i don't know if the same ruling applies over me, im providing the link below
            http://islamqa.info/en/175624

            Comment


            • #7
              Re: Marriage divorce and dowry

              Sister
              It sounds like to me this is a blessing in disguise

              They both sound awful- sorry to say
              Ibnul Qayyim رحمه الله said: "Don’t ruin your happiness with worry, and don’t ruin your mind with pessimism. Don’t ruin your success with deception and don’t ruin the optimism of others by destroying it. Don’t ruin your day by looking back at yesterday.
              __________________________________________________ _____________________________
              If you think about your situation, you will find that Allaah (سبحانه وتعالى) has given you things without asking, so have trust in Allaah (سبحانه وتعالى) that He doesn’t prevent anything you want except there is goodness for you.

              You could be sleeping and the doors of the heavens are being opened with dua’as being made on your behalf, SubhanAllaah: perhaps from someone poor whom you helped, or someone sad whom you brought joy, or someone passing by and you smiled at him, or someone in distress and you removed it.. so don’t ever underestimate any good deeds."



              please donate to the Ummah forum sadaqa jariya project. Click on the link for for more information, and to make a donation- https://www.justgiving.com/sadaqah-jariyah-project/

              Comment


              • #8
                Re: Marriage divorce and dowry

                Originally posted by xunubia View Post
                Asalam o Alaikum

                Thank you all for answering

                @insann my husband lives in the west so that probably one might expect that he and his family think along the lines of western ideology but what is surprising that they had not mentioned it before the nikah only when the nikah took place did they say that it was expected of me to give the exam.

                @Zesty and @Muslima London thank you for the dua and yes my problem is both emotional and islamic. Alhumdulillah i have a very supporting family and right now they are supporting me through this time. However i need answer to my questions whether i was wrong or was it somehow my fault that the marriage did not work. About the dowry part i only want it because my husband and my mil have continuously harassed me over the phone into giving the exam at their specified time or else they would divorce me, so yeah they have been threatening me with divorce for the last 6 months. Finally when i said i need 2-3 more months to prepare they said they cannot go along with the marriage because i did not complete my studies during their allotted time. I did ask them to bring in a mufti but they point blank refused my request.

                I don't know any alim or mufti nor anyone in my circle can help me regarding these queries. So i was wondering if any of the members of this forum might have an access to an alim or a mufti and can eventually answer them. I don't want to ask for dowry if its not allowed in islam. I don't want to commit sin just to get even with them.

                As far as haq mahr being given in half when no consummation took place, i read it on islamqa but i don't know if the same ruling applies over me, im providing the link below
                http://islamqa.info/en/175624
                :wswrwb:

                We've got an Alim on this forum, brother Darul Ilm, i'll message him to come check this topic out when he'son which i assume will be sometime today because he's doing a radio show in the evening U.K time.
                Last edited by Mikha’eel; 15-01-15, 04:53 PM.
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