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If your spouse cheated, would you stay with him/her?

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  • #46
    AW: If your spouse cheated, would you stay with him/her?

    Originally posted by pallas View Post
    Okay this might be a controversial subject, but something that seems to occur on a more frequent level ( compared to several decades ago). I have heard quite a few times, that if a husband cheats on his wife, that the woman should have sabr and try to save her marriage. But the opposite with men ( thus, he is not a real man if he stays with his wife). Quite a few people ( mostly women) tend to stay with their spouse.

    So my question to you is, if your spouse would cheat would you stay with him or her?
    For instance: Would your answer change if that person seems genuine about her/his regret or if that person admits it to you? Would your answer depend on the level of cheating? For instance, contact rather than intercourse. Once rather than on a longer time level. Would you answer depend on if you have children together.
    Which kind of " contact " ?

    If my wife had intercourse I would 100% quit. I am a man and imo also the woman should do that. Those people does not deserve good partners if they are not good themselves..

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    • #47
      Re: If your spouse cheated, would you stay with him/her?

      Originally posted by Rebel101 View Post
      Married person = stone to death
      Single = lashing 100 (I think)

      So its worse if married but zina as a whole is a major sin.
      According to Tafsir Ibn Kathir,

      Unmarried person = 100 Lashes + exile for a year.
      Married= 100 Lashes + stone to death.
      “You don't need anybody to tell you who you are or what you are. You are what you are!”

      Comment


      • #48
        Re: AW: If your spouse cheated, would you stay with him/her?

        Originally posted by Muslim96 View Post
        Which kind of " contact " ?

        If my wife had intercourse I would 100% quit. I am a man and imo also the woman should do that. Those people does not deserve good partners if they are not good themselves..
        Whatever contact you want to make of it tbh . Chatting, phoning, dating etc. Would you have a different opinion by a certain type of contact. Like if she or he did I would stay with them, but below that type of action I might consider it.
        Allahumma ighfir lil muslimeena wal-muslimaat, wal-mu'mineena wal-mu'minaat, al-ahyaa'i minhom wal-amwat
        If God grants me life, I shall see to it that even the lonely shepherd in the mountains of San’a shall have his share in the wealth of the community
        Umar ibn al-Khaṭṭāb

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        • #49
          Re: If your spouse cheated, would you stay with him/her?

          I would never stay, I'd be scared of catching something.

          Comment


          • #50
            Re: If your spouse cheated, would you stay with him/her?

            Originally posted by علي بن عبد الله View Post
            According to Tafsir Ibn Kathir,

            Unmarried person = 100 Lashes + exile for a year.
            Married= 100 Lashes + stone to death.
            Exile to where? I never heard of that one before ( the exile thingy).
            Allahumma ighfir lil muslimeena wal-muslimaat, wal-mu'mineena wal-mu'minaat, al-ahyaa'i minhom wal-amwat
            If God grants me life, I shall see to it that even the lonely shepherd in the mountains of San’a shall have his share in the wealth of the community
            Umar ibn al-Khaṭṭāb

            Comment


            • #51
              AW: Re: AW: If your spouse cheated, would you stay with him/her?

              Originally posted by pallas View Post
              Whatever contact you want to make of it tbh . Chatting, phoning, dating etc. Would you have a different opinion by a certain type of contact. Like if she or he did I would stay with them, but below that type of action I might consider it.
              I think I could forgive the chatting or phoning though the trust would be damaged.. but dating, no.

              Comment


              • #52
                Re: If your spouse cheated, would you stay with him/her?

                :salams

                Staying with someone who is worthy of execution? Hmm.....
                Last edited by |Abdur Raheem|; 15-01-15, 04:24 AM.
                [SIZE=4][COLOR="#FF0000"][FONT=Book Antiqua][CENTER][B][URL="http://www.ummah.com/forum/showthread.php?459504-Immensely-rewarding-dhikr!!!&highlight="]IMMENSELY REWARDING DHIKR!!![/URL][/B][/CENTER][/FONT][/COLOR][/SIZE]

                [FONT=Book Antiqua][SIZE=4][COLOR="#2F4F4F"][CENTER]Before you post, think..."Will this help me when I stand before Allah?" If it doesn't, then you're wasting time....[/CENTER][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT]

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                • #53
                  Re: If your spouse cheated, would you stay with him/her?

                  Either way if you stay with the person or leave them the damage has been done, the marriage will never be the same again.

                  An the victim of all of this would be the one who got cheated on, if they stay in the marriage they will not trust their spouse anymore ( well at least not for a long time), they will experience anxiety, depression, feelings of worthlessness. it can ruin a person.

                  On the flip side

                  If they leave the marriage they will still feel the pains of heartbreak, may never trust another person again, it will take them a looooooong time to get over it and even consider re-marrying (depending on how much they loved their spouse)

                  And well if their are kids involved then the complexity of the issue is far greater, the difficulties of raising kids as a single parent are real, and one wouldn't want to deprive their child of not having a mother or father to grow up with

                  Comment


                  • #54
                    Re: If your spouse cheated, would you stay with him/her?

                    Originally posted by pallas View Post
                    Exile to where? I never heard of that one before ( the exile thingy).
                    Is it not premarital sex that has the option or can be interpreted as 100 lashes and exile for a year.
                    I think adultery is the one where stoning is considered. That means only one partner in the act needs to be married.

                    So single man and single women = lashes
                    Married man and single woman = adultery = both stoned despite one partner not married.

                    Comment


                    • #55
                      Re: If your spouse cheated, would you stay with him/her?

                      Yes.
                      https://www.ummah.com/forum/forum/lo...-qur-an-courseI am just a simple nomad.

                      Ephemeral reader

                      Comment


                      • #56
                        Re: If your spouse cheated, would you stay with him/her?

                        Originally posted by Kiro View Post
                        Yes.
                        You would stay

                        Comment


                        • #57
                          Re: If your spouse cheated, would you stay with him/her?

                          Originally posted by missmirah02 View Post
                          You would stay
                          Maybe I'm not Human :p . Don't worry I'm not stupid. But I find forgiving people very very easy. I don't have any malice in my heart. :)
                          https://www.ummah.com/forum/forum/lo...-qur-an-courseI am just a simple nomad.

                          Ephemeral reader

                          Comment


                          • #58
                            Re: If your spouse cheated, would you stay with him/her?

                            Originally posted by Kiro View Post
                            Maybe I'm not Human :p . Don't worry I'm not stupid. But I find forgiving people very very easy. I don't have any malice in my heart. :)
                            Wow Masha Allah

                            Comment


                            • #59
                              Re: If your spouse cheated, would you stay with him/her?

                              I would cheat on her twice and make sure she knows where I'm going and then later divorce her..........and then cheat on her again.
                              Justice

                              Comment


                              • #60
                                Re: If your spouse cheated, would you stay with him/her?

                                My now EX had an emotional affair with another women earlier this year, they would talk/text all the time, he wanted to leave me then for her, then realised that she was a liar etc wont go into too much details. He said he wanted to give our marriage another go because we have a son together I had to think of him, plus I couldn't think of being with another man or being alone so I took him back, now i wish i never because guess what he did it again! This time he has divorced me and i'm pregnant.
                                I do wish i never took him back, it would have saved a whole lot of hurt.

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