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If your spouse cheated, would you stay with him/her?

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  • #31
    Re: If your spouse cheated, would you stay with him/her?

    May Allah protect us all from such scenarios.
    Tbh, a cheating spouse despite being regarded as the lowelist most reprehensible behaviour that can be commited in a relationship, personally it wouldn't be the most heartbreaking thing for me. I wouldn't wish to blame myself but rather it would indicate the despicable character of the man I'd married. I'd only blame myself for not having made the right choice prior to the marriage.
    But needless to say, honestly any form of would trust would be killed and I'd hate having to share a bed with an adulterer so I would like to think Id seek khula.....eventually. If the situation requires that I hold myself together and brush it off for a while till I can then I would brace it for that time but no matter what , it sickens me to think Id be sharing my intimate feelings with a man who has no regard for himself and has khashya (fear) of Allah the Almighty. The marriage would be devoid of barakah.

    Id personally leave but also be cautious enough to study the dynamics of the situation first I.e lack of housing etc.

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    • #32
      Re: If your spouse cheated, would you stay with him/her?

      I have always said "NO" to this, but your views change a little as your grow older. I've never had the feeling of being in a relationship, and maybe if the bond develops so strong, and theres kids also, you have to weigh up the options i.e. remarrying might not be an option or you wouldn't be mentally/physically up for it. So you can stick with the silly fat cow and endure it for the sake of your children.

      So whilst it's extremely difficult to say "Yes" to this, there may be a very small chance you might live with it, forgive, but never fully forget or trust.

      As I'm not at all willing to marry someone who has been in a past relationship, I can't fully see how I'd accept a cheater. But you never fully know until your in the situation...

      (Still a NO though)

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      • #33
        Originally posted by Simply_Logical View Post
        i think everyone is going to say they wouldn't stay,
        but in reality some peeps stick together due to the situation with kids etc and obviously try to make it work...
        Yes. I agree with this. A lot of singletons are unaware of the other things in life that bind married couples to each other; kids, financial security, reliance on each other, and believe it or not.....love for each other. Don't get me wrong. Cheating is bang out of order and the cheater deserves the worst. But if the cheater repents, asks forgiveness from their spouse and doesn't do it again then shouldn't they be given another chance? Wouldn't that be the Islamic thing to do?

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        • #34
          Re: If your spouse cheated, would you stay with him/her?

          Originally posted by Fragile View Post
          salaam...good thread by the way :up:

          i was asked this once before by a sister and i was honest really... im not naive or a walk over but regarding if my spouse cheated will i stay... i think i will because people do mistakes and i wouldn't ruin my marriage over that mistake.. but then again im not married yet so i cant really be sure how i would feel... having kids involved would surely make it difficult to leave.
          'Cheating' is not a mistake, according to the proper definition, a mistake is "An error or fault resulting from defective judgment, deficient knowledge, or carelessness.", hence cheating is more of a 'choice'. For instance, if a woman meets up/dates someone even though she is married, it involves many steps, which cannot be called a 'mistake'. It a conscious choice.
          “You don't need anybody to tell you who you are or what you are. You are what you are!”

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          • #35
            Re: If your spouse cheated, would you stay with him/her?

            Originally posted by علي بن عبد الله View Post
            'Cheating' is not a mistake, according to the proper definition, a mistake is "An error or fault resulting from defective judgment, deficient knowledge, or carelessness.", hence cheating is more of a 'choice'. For instance, if a woman meets up/dates someone even though she is married, it involves many steps, which cannot be called a 'mistake'. It a conscious choice.
            Yes brother... I understand what your saying... I didn't think this would be related to a wife cheating lol...I thought it's about men only..what wife cheats.. Hardly I suppose.
            Anyhow a mistake for example he met her and it was a one off. Regrets it and never does it again.. That kinda mistake or am I wrong?
            I love you, cherish you and worship you,
            Guide me on your path to your janna,
            Unite me beside you My King and all mighty,


            :love:Allah:love:

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            • #36
              Re: If your spouse cheated, would you stay with him/her?

              Hell no. Once a cheater always a cheater!

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              • #37
                Re: If your spouse cheated, would you stay with him/her?

                Can I just put it out there in an land ruled by shariah its the death penalty for such people. So not a "mistake" and I doubt I'll ever stay. Cheaters are disgusting and tbh it blows my mind how casual some people tend to take this issue. "Oh it was a mistake, forgive and stay together" when according to Allah's law he/she should be dead.
                Gone with the wind.

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                • #38
                  Re: If your spouse cheated, would you stay with him/her?

                  Originally posted by Rebel101 View Post
                  Can I just put it out there in an land ruled by shariah its the death penalty for such people. So not a "mistake" and I doubt I'll ever stay. Cheaters are disgusting and tbh it blows my mind how casual some people tend to take this issue. "Oh it was a mistake, forgive and stay together" when according to Allah's law he/she should be dead.
                  Finally someone made that point
                  "The duty of the man who investigates the writings of scientists, if learning the truth is his goal, is to make himself an enemy of all that he reads, and,.. attack it from every side. He should also suspect himself as he performs his critical examination of it, so that he may avoid falling into either prejudice or leniency."
                  -Alhazen Ibn Al-Haythem

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                  • #39
                    Re: If your spouse cheated, would you stay with him/her?

                    Originally posted by Fragile View Post
                    Yes brother... I understand what your saying... I didn't think this would be related to a wife cheating lol...I thought it's about men only..what wife cheats.. Hardly I suppose.
                    Anyhow a mistake for example he met her and it was a one off. Regrets it and never does it again.. That kinda mistake or am I wrong?
                    Men and women are capable of cheating. And its not a 'rare' fact for either of the gender.

                    The example you've cited is a conscious decision since the man knows he is married, he knows it is wrong yet he continued. Furthermore, this 'one off' has a long process involved which can never be classified a 'mistake'. Its similitude could be like, a man went on to rob a bank, I doubt its a mistake.
                    “You don't need anybody to tell you who you are or what you are. You are what you are!”

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                    • #40
                      Re: If your spouse cheated, would you stay with him/her?

                      Originally posted by علي بن عبد الله View Post
                      Men and women are capable of cheating. And its not a 'rare' fact for either of the gender.

                      The example you've cited is a conscious decision since the man knows he is married, he knows it is wrong yet he continued. Furthermore, this 'one off' has a long process involved which can never be classified a 'mistake'. Its similitude could be like, a man went on to rob a bank, I doubt its a mistake.
                      mashallah...very wise. your right :up:
                      I love you, cherish you and worship you,
                      Guide me on your path to your janna,
                      Unite me beside you My King and all mighty,


                      :love:Allah:love:

                      Comment


                      • #41
                        Re: If your spouse cheated, would you stay with him/her?

                        If I had the means I would stone them with my own hands.
                        You think you know more than my scholar's qiyās? He was more learned than you and all other scholars combined. Yeah, the devil was the greatest scholar too and look where his qiyās of fire being better than tīn got him. Sorry.

                        You follow your scholar's qiyās, and I will follow the Qur'ān and Sunnah.

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                        • #42
                          Re: If your spouse cheated, would you stay with him/her?

                          Who's worse if the married person cheats with a single person? I'd say the married person but don't know what Islam says...
                          [FONT=Century Gothic][COLOR="#0066ff"][SIZE=4] We're all a little broken in our own little way and the last time I checked, broken crayons still colour the same...[/SIZE][/COLOR][/FONT]

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                          • #43
                            Re: If your spouse cheated, would you stay with him/her?

                            Originally posted by Linkdeutscher View Post
                            If I had the means I would stone them with my own hands.
                            Dang

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                            • #44
                              Re: If your spouse cheated, would you stay with him/her?

                              Originally posted by HopefulOne View Post
                              Whos worse if the married person cheatd with a single person? I'd say the married person but don't know what Islam says...
                              Married person = stone to death
                              Single = lashing 100 (I think)

                              So its worse if married but zina as a whole is a major sin.
                              Gone with the wind.

                              Comment


                              • #45
                                Re: If your spouse cheated, would you stay with him/her?

                                Some people say they wouldn't, but honestly ya don't know until you're in a marriage with someone.
                                www.treasureofthescholars.wordpress.com

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