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  • How to manage family and marriage?

    :salams:

    Just wanting to know how brothers in particular once married juggle things with family and their marriage.

    For me, i'm the eldest and my mums seperated and a single parent who suffers from medical ailments she has medication for, as well as a disable sister who has cerebral palsy. Alhamdulillah mentally she's as sharp as a tack but her mobility is an issue. A part of me does wonder whether they'd cope well enough one i'm removed away but at the same time I KNOW I need to move on in some way so that I can marry and start a family of my own.

    So what suggestions do you guys have you can offer from experience and put my mind at ease I won't be abandoning my family.

    :jkk:
    I write novels for posts. Beware. :mujahida:

    Ummah Forum seems pretty black and white. Was thinking of offering Skittles as Dawah to introduce a rainbow.

  • #2
    Re: How to manage family and marriage?

    Originally posted by Constant Hope View Post
    :salams:

    Just wanting to know how brothers in particular once married juggle things with family and their marriage.

    For me, i'm the eldest and my mums seperated and a single parent who suffers from medical ailments she has medication for, as well as a disable sister who has cerebral palsy. Alhamdulillah mentally she's as sharp as a tack but her mobility is an issue. A part of me does wonder whether they'd cope well enough one i'm removed away but at the same time I KNOW I need to move on in some way so that I can marry and start a family of my own.

    So what suggestions do you guys have you can offer from experience and put my mind at ease I won't be abandoning my family.

    :jkk:
    Walaikum aslaam

    i know im not a guy but i wanted to reply so i shall- thats okay right

    I know most people really want their own place which is up to them but of course family is important too. would it be possible if u bought a house near ur family house. so that way u have ur own place and can still see ur family.

    also u can eat dinner at ur family house
    Okay :)

    Comment


    • #3
      Re: How to manage family and marriage?

      Originally posted by Ria View Post
      Walaikum aslaam

      i know im not a guy but i wanted to reply so i shall- thats okay right

      I know most people really want their own place which is up to them but of course family is important too. would it be possible if u bought a house near ur family house. so that way u have ur own place and can still see ur family.

      also u can eat dinner at ur family house
      It's perfectly fine for you to reply.

      I could get a house in the same city and nearby, but to be frank the job opportunities locally are worse and i'd rather have the opportunity to travel to where I can take advantage of better jobs if possible. The idea of being tied down to family and ruining your own future potential is what I want to avoid and seek a balance on.

      So I see my family and am able to adequately support them, but at the same time try to set up my own future for a family somewhere nice. After all, once kids come into the picture, things can get harder.
      I write novels for posts. Beware. :mujahida:

      Ummah Forum seems pretty black and white. Was thinking of offering Skittles as Dawah to introduce a rainbow.

      Comment


      • #4
        Re: How to manage family and marriage?

        I had a word with my mum. Probably the best way to actually come up with a solution and we came to a solution that is helpful and works for all parties.
        I write novels for posts. Beware. :mujahida:

        Ummah Forum seems pretty black and white. Was thinking of offering Skittles as Dawah to introduce a rainbow.

        Comment


        • #5
          Re: How to manage family and marriage?

          Originally posted by Constant Hope View Post
          It's perfectly fine for you to reply.

          I could get a house in the same city and nearby, but to be frank the job opportunities locally are worse and i'd rather have the opportunity to travel to where I can take advantage of better jobs if possible. The idea of being tied down to family and ruining your own future potential is what I want to avoid and seek a balance on.

          So I see my family and am able to adequately support them, but at the same time try to set up my own future for a family somewhere nice. After all, once kids come into the picture, things can get harder.
          What if ur family moves as well. i know that idea might seem hard but it is not impossible. and i agree...where i live, graduate of decent jobs are pretty scarce.
          Okay :)

          Comment


          • #6
            Re: How to manage family and marriage?

            Originally posted by Constant Hope View Post
            I had a word with my mum. Probably the best way to actually come up with a solution and we came to a solution that is helpful and works for all parties.
            oh thats good then. best thing is to make sure both of u lot are happy
            Okay :)

            Comment


            • #7
              Re: How to manage family and marriage?

              Originally posted by Constant Hope View Post
              :salams:

              Just wanting to know how brothers in particular once married juggle things with family and their marriage.

              For me, i'm the eldest and my mums seperated and a single parent who suffers from medical ailments she has medication for, as well as a disable sister who has cerebral palsy. Alhamdulillah mentally she's as sharp as a tack but her mobility is an issue. A part of me does wonder whether they'd cope well enough one i'm removed away but at the same time I KNOW I need to move on in some way so that I can marry and start a family of my own.

              So what suggestions do you guys have you can offer from experience and put my mind at ease I won't be abandoning my family.

              :jkk:
              :wswrwb:

              Just out of interest did your mother not consider re-marrying at some point? If you really want to live apart from the family, then that might be an option...
              :sub: wabihamdihi:sub:hiladheem

              Comment


              • #8
                Re: How to manage family and marriage?

                Originally posted by rainbow*~ View Post
                :wswrwb:

                Just out of interest did your mother not consider re-marrying at some point? If you really want to live apart from the family, then that might be an option...
                You must have worded that really bad. "Watchu talkin 'bout rainbow*~(!)"

                No seriously, I didn't get what you wrote :scratch:. Yeah, my mum does wish to re-marry, but I don't wanna talk about that. I cringe.
                I write novels for posts. Beware. :mujahida:

                Ummah Forum seems pretty black and white. Was thinking of offering Skittles as Dawah to introduce a rainbow.

                Comment


                • #9
                  Re: How to manage family and marriage?

                  Originally posted by Constant Hope View Post
                  You must have worded that really bad. "Watchu talkin 'bout rainbow*~(!)"

                  No seriously, I didn't get what you wrote :scratch:. Yeah, my mum does wish to re-marry, but I don't wanna talk about that. I cringe.
                  Sorry I should have explained myself better, I was just saying if your mum did re-marry then you wouldn't have to worry about your mum having to cope by herself, she'd have companionship and support. Plus you wouldn't have the burden of having to look after two families?

                  Why? :scratch:...I know it might be weird but you've got to be mature about it, companionship is a perfectly natural human desire and I'm not surprised your mum desires it too.
                  :sub: wabihamdihi:sub:hiladheem

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Re: How to manage family and marriage?

                    Originally posted by rainbow*~ View Post
                    Sorry I should have explained myself better, I was just saying if your mum did re-marry then you wouldn't have to worry about your mum having to cope by herself, she'd have companionship and support. Plus you wouldn't have the burden of having to look after two families?

                    Why? :scratch:...I know it might be weird but you've got to be mature about it, companionship is a perfectly natural human desire and I'm not surprised your mum desires it too.
                    Don't get me wrong, I love my mum and want the best for her, but as a guy and maybe cause of culture, I just don't like the idea of her re-marrying. I'm conflicted over obviously it if you get what I mean because I want her to be happy.

                    It's just a stupid #GuyThing
                    I write novels for posts. Beware. :mujahida:

                    Ummah Forum seems pretty black and white. Was thinking of offering Skittles as Dawah to introduce a rainbow.

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Re: How to manage family and marriage?

                      Originally posted by Constant Hope View Post
                      Don't get me wrong, I love my mum and want the best for her, but as a guy and maybe cause of culture, I just don't like the idea of her re-marrying. I'm conflicted over obviously it if you get what I mean because I want her to be happy.

                      It's just a stupid #GuyThing
                      I understand, but you can't deny her something that's halal bro.
                      :sub: wabihamdihi:sub:hiladheem

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        Re: How to manage family and marriage?

                        Originally posted by rainbow*~ View Post
                        I understand, but you can't deny her something that's halal bro.
                        Don't worry, I have no intention to, but i'm sure you get it feels awkward to have the parent you live with, especially a mum re-marry when most of the children are pretty much adults but you also live with her. My dad re-married but because I have almost zero contact, it's more an "Out of sight, out of mind" kind of thing that doesn't bother me.

                        Maybe its also protectiveness to a degree. I mean, even though your dad isn't in the picture, maybe it's like still hurtful. Bah. I'm just wafflibg
                        I write novels for posts. Beware. :mujahida:

                        Ummah Forum seems pretty black and white. Was thinking of offering Skittles as Dawah to introduce a rainbow.

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          Re: How to manage family and marriage?

                          Originally posted by Constant Hope View Post
                          I had a word with my mum. Probably the best way to actually come up with a solution and we came to a solution that is helpful and works for all parties.
                          Just saw this post. Ignore what I said. Glad things worked out for you bro :up:
                          :sub: wabihamdihi:sub:hiladheem

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            Re: How to manage family and marriage?

                            If you move out try to stay around them, so your there when they need to and you can check up on them n a regular basis.

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              Re: How to manage family and marriage?

                              Originally posted by rainbow*~ View Post
                              Just saw this post. Ignore what I said. Glad things worked out for you bro :up:
                              Nah, you had good points and I appreiate you speaking your mind.
                              I write novels for posts. Beware. :mujahida:

                              Ummah Forum seems pretty black and white. Was thinking of offering Skittles as Dawah to introduce a rainbow.

                              Comment

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