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Hitting the wife

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  • In my Opinion
    replied
    Re: Hitting the wife

    Originally posted by AKMuzzle View Post
    Lol. Thats what they all say.
    You the "nice, beta male" guy who got rejected? The guys who feel sorry for themselves and cry "nice guys fisnish last" are usually the worst kind of men.

    Leave a comment:


  • Nulbreaker
    replied
    Re: Hitting the wife

    Originally posted by insann View Post
    Bism Allah Al-Rahman Al-Rahim
    Many people misunderstand this. In the verse where Allah said to hit the wife, Ibn Abas said hit her with a "Siwak" so it is like hitting her with a Pencil, it is more psychological than physical. If the wife is good and love her husband this is magic , this is after advising her and boycut her . As a matter of fact , a woman asked the prophet peace be upon him about getting married from potentials , our prophet peace be upon him warned her from one and said "he hits women"

    I did the siwak thing with my EX and it used to really hurt her (psychologically) and would make her go back to the right track right away....

    Allah knows best.
    No one was hit with siwak! Am I the only person here who has actually read the hadith?

    Ibn Sa`d in al-Tabaqat al-Kubra, Al-Tabarani in al-Mu`jam al-Kabir, Abu Ya`la in his Musnad, Abu Nu`aym in Hilyat al-Awliya' and al-Hakim in al-Mustadrak narrated from Umm Salama: "The Prophet was in my house and there was a siwak in his hand. He called for Wasifa [the servant-girl] to come to him or to her [i.e. to serve Umm Salama] but she tarried until anger was visible on his face. So Umm Salama went out to her and found her playing with an animal. She said to her: "You are playing while the Messenger of Allah is calling you?" She replied: "No, by the one who sent you with truth! I did not hear you." Whereupon the Prophet said: "Were it not for fear of exaction (qawad) on the Day of Resurrection, I should surely make you sore (la'awja`tuki) with this toothpick."

    Al-Munawi in Fayd al-Qadir mentioned that al-Mundhiri and al-Haythami declared its chain of transmission good. Al-Suyuti graded the hadith "fair" (hasan) in al-Jami` al-Saghir.
    So the prophet :saw: did not hit her.

    Narrated Mu'awiyah al-Qushayri: "I went to the Apostle of Allah (peace_be_upon_him) and asked him: What do you say (command) about our wives? He replied: Give them food what you have for yourself, and clothe them by which you clothe yourself, and do not beat them, and do not revile them. (Sunan Abu-Dawud, Book 11, Marriage (Kitab Al-Nikah), Number 2139)"
    And we see this in the Qur'an. This verse instructs prophet Ayub in how to 'beat' his wife.

    "And take in your hand a bundle of thin grass and strike therewith (your wife), and break not your oath . Truly! We found him patient. How excellent (a) slave! Verily, he was ever oft-returning in repentance (to Us)! 38:44

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  • Saho
    replied
    Re: Hitting the wife

    nvm...
    Last edited by Saho; 11-01-15, 07:18 AM. Reason: Singles acting like they know the reality..

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  • orient3
    replied
    Re: Hitting the wife

    Nevermind.
    Last edited by orient3; 11-01-15, 04:56 AM.

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  • UmmAbdulMalik
    replied
    Re: Hitting the wife

    Originally posted by orient3 View Post
    What valuable time? You spend your valuable time here! It's not like it's that valuable = like your busy and have to make time to speak or anything.

    But to each his/her own. I just come to blow the steam and head off - not to spend too much time with strangers whom I've never met, and never will, and who most hold radicalist views that boggles and goes beyond what their religion prescribe for them.

    But keep obsessing about marriage - it's all repetitive, like your threads.

    [Edit: That was INCREDIBLY harsh, what I said]

    That wasn't very harsh. Barely touched a nerve mate.


    If you'd like to be harsh, I could be equally harsh but I'll spare you your concious.
    I suggest you just leave.

    Stop buggering people. No one wants to read bull crap posts everywhere.


    Don't like the forum?

    Theres pleeeennty others you can visit.

    Leave a comment:


  • orient3
    replied
    Re: Hitting the wife

    Nevermind.
    Last edited by orient3; 11-01-15, 04:57 AM.

    Leave a comment:


  • UmmAbdulMalik
    replied
    Re: Hitting the wife

    Originally posted by orient3 View Post
    Seems I struck a nerve.

    I seldom visit as you can tell. The only reason I come here, is to blow steam, frustrations off - and carry on with my life.

    On the topic of self restraint, why don't you exercise your self-restraint and stop being so overly obsessed about marriage threads if that's possible?

    O' wait, that's not possible. Not for you.
    Don't be so pathetic.


    I wouldn't wish to waste my valuable time speaking with an individual like yourself.
    Absolutely pathetic.

    Simply put: If you don't like this forum, then get the heck out.

    Leave a comment:


  • orient3
    replied
    Re: Hitting the wife

    Nevermind.
    Last edited by orient3; 11-01-15, 04:57 AM.

    Leave a comment:


  • UmmAbdulMalik
    replied
    Re: Hitting the wife

    Originally posted by orient3 View Post
    No, as householders, you have the prerogative to beat your wife 'till she drops! Once you start the disciplinary process, you have to follow through!

    [disclaimer: this is my pathetic attempt at a ban - I do not endorse or advocate for any form of spousal violence]
    Would you mind buggering off please?

    We do not entertain trolling here. Just stop posting.


    I have no idea why people begin trolling JUST to get banned, as if they can't simply excercise the self-restraint to stop visiting the forum.

    Just get the heck out if you don't like this forum. Simple as that. No ones forcing you to be here.

    Leave a comment:


  • orient3
    replied
    Re: Hitting the wife

    Edit.
    Last edited by orient3; 11-01-15, 04:57 AM.

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  • insann
    replied
    Re: Hitting the wife

    Originally posted by Sabros View Post
    You seen to have known or heard of a very bad batch of sisters brother.

    Most the women I know/heard of have been raised properly and are very committed to their marriages and husbands. Even the loud/arrogant/catty ones.

    Not sure how helpful or truly accurate your post is. I also know tonnes of stories that are very different from the one's you have heard...often the man is so busy with his friends, or he doesn't give her her rights, or he flirts with other women, doesn't spend time at home, or just doesn't know how handle a woman that the wife ends up being the last interest. Let neither of us judge and stereotype based on a few isolated experiences or hearsay. After all, remember people in happy content normal marriages don't go around talking about them.
    I never said that there are not bad brothers. I know guys a lot a lot worse than this. But the divorce rate is increasing in really serious way, so brother it is serious and not based on few stories. We have to address the problem from both sides. I am glad that you have people like this around you, cos this mean u will raise ur daughters in the same way insha2 allah.
    Last edited by insann; 11-01-15, 08:26 AM.

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  • MuslimWarrior
    replied
    Re: Hitting the wife

    Originally posted by Ikki View Post
    Just, when you say women, you mean your mother or your sister or your wife. If you knew your mum was being degraded by your dad, it would be the duty of the child to stand up for her. If you were degrading your sister or mother, it would be the duty of the dad or other family members to stop you. If you were degrading you wife it would be the duty of you parents step in and stop you. If your brother in law was degrading your sister then you'd have to stand up for her.

    Every wife is someone else's mum or sister or daughter, your mum or daughter or sister are someone else's wife (or will be in case of sister and daughter).
    Very nicely said

    Leave a comment:


  • AKMuzzle
    replied
    Re: Hitting the wife

    Originally posted by mintea View Post
    Are you using yourself as an example of the nice guy here?

    If so, I can already say that your definition of nice is entitled and warped, and you'll probably see any male who isn't like you as a bad boy. There are many good men who are not nice, but genuinely good with actual, interesting personalities. Sisters tend to prefer those over guilt-tripping bitter wet rags.
    No I'm not using myself as the nice guy lol

    Leave a comment:


  • mintea
    replied
    Re: Hitting the wife

    Originally posted by AKMuzzle View Post
    I know it SHOULD be like that.But im sorry to break it to you but its NOT like that . WOMEN including girls want a dude who pushes them around and doesnt put them on a pedestal. A bad boy isnt only a refrnce to gangsters but to dudes who have no care or regards for the womens feelings or say. A jerk CAN lead a household he just does it his way. A jerk isnt always broke either so he can also be financially stable. So yeah, in the end the jerk wins in a lot of the cases.
    Are you using yourself as an example of the nice guy here?

    If so, I can already say that your definition of nice is entitled and warped, and you'll probably see any male who isn't like you as a bad boy. There are many good men who are not nice, but genuinely good with actual, interesting personalities. Sisters tend to prefer those over guilt-tripping bitter wet rags.

    Leave a comment:


  • Sabros
    replied
    Re: Hitting the wife

    Originally posted by insann View Post
    I wish there was a wise sister who says, OK he will not hit me with a "Siwak" unless I disobey him in Hallal, then he advises me and afterwards boycut me so I wont even insha2 allah let him reach to a level that he would use the Siwak! I am also talking about a woman who really respect and love her husband not a woman who got married cos she reached her thirties or to help her pay the rent.

    BTW probably 80% of houses in KSA has a divorced woman for the same reasons , the husband is the last interest so either he let her go or find a second wife without her knowledge where she thinks that she is strong and in control where he is enjoying his life with someone else. I know tons of stories. Of course even if the sister is bad , that would not give the guy an excuse to have a Haram relationship he should either be patience on her (I wont) divorce her or marry someone else.
    You seen to have known or heard of a very bad batch of sisters brother.

    Most the women I know/heard of have been raised properly and are very committed to their marriages and husbands. Even the loud/arrogant/catty ones.

    Not sure how helpful or truly accurate your post is. I also know tonnes of stories that are very different from the one's you have heard...often the man is so busy with his friends, or he doesn't give her her rights, or he flirts with other women, doesn't spend time at home, or just doesn't know how handle a woman that the wife ends up being the last interest. Let neither of us judge and stereotype based on a few isolated experiences or hearsay. After all, remember people in happy content normal marriages don't go around talking about them.

    Leave a comment:

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