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  • Marrying a divorcee with kids .

    Assalamu alaykum sisters and brothers in Islam;

    I have few questions to ask dear sisters and brothers in here, who have experienced marrying a divorcee with kids or who is experiencing in right now.

    How do you deal with it ? Meaning, how do you manage kids and your spouse ?

    What are the challenges ?

    How do you deal with your spouse ex husband or ex wife ?

    Are you in contact with your spouse's ex for kids reasons ?

    What's your relationship with your spouse's kids ?

    How was the first meeting with the kids ?

    Any advice for brothers or sisters who are married to a divorced who has kids ?



    I love you all for the sake of Allah subhanaho wa taala

  • #2
    Re: Marrying a divorcee with kids .

    No one here have experienced this ...??

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    • #3
      Re: Marrying a divorcee with kids .

      Originally posted by Islamdeen2014 View Post
      No one here have experienced this ...??
      I can answer from the perspective of a fatherless child who would have hated to see someone in his father's role. So I suppose it's going to be a rough deal, especially if the boy is older than 9 years.

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      • #4
        Marrying a divorcee with kids .

        It depends on the age of the kids, and how many of them there are, and also how long they've been separated from the other parent. Try me. I know a few cases Muslim and non Muslim.

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        • #5
          Re: Marrying a divorcee with kids .

          ^ Tell us about those cases.

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          • #6
            Re: Marrying a divorcee with kids .

            Originally posted by Twoncounting View Post
            It depends on the age of the kids, and how many of them there are, and also how long they've been separated from the other parent. Try me. I know a few cases Muslim and non Muslim.
            Can you tell more about this pls ?

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            • #7
              Marrying a divorcee with kids .

              Case 1)
              Second marriage was from back home in Pakistan. Married a Pathan girl from the village. His kids were aged five and under. She treats them just fine, and as far as I'm aware marriage is healthy.

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              • #8
                Marrying a divorcee with kids .

                Case 2)
                Revert brother got married second time round. Seven years and still married. Because the children were in their teens, relationship between SM and children can be strained at times. Children need a mother. SM needs to fulfill that void. One parent families are difficult to manage at the best of times. It helps if the brother is a practising Muslim

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                • #9
                  Marrying a divorcee with kids .

                  Divorcees will try their utmost to please you. They are mature and will treasure you. They have failed once and will have learnt from their mistakes.

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                  • #10
                    Re: Marrying a divorcee with kids .

                    If you want to raise the children for the sake of Allah and for his reward then do it, you will never wait for a return but if you are doing this for your husband then be sure that you really really wants him cos otherwise things will get a lot more sensitive and you will expect a lot in return more than what you are going to get most of times. Allah knows best.


                    How do you deal with it ? Meaning, how do you manage kids and your spouse ?

                    I was married to a woman who has kids. They used to call me dad and I loved them. I was acting as they are my own children. Of course I loved my child a lot more but never showed this.

                    What are the challenges ?

                    To treat them as your own children. My step mom used to be jealouse because my father loves me a lot. Be sure dont be jealous from them and love them it will destroy the marriage.

                    How do you deal with your spouse ex husband or ex wife ?

                    My spouse never dealt directly with her ex it is always through someone else and I am aware of whats going on.

                    Are you in contact with your spouse's ex for kids reasons ?

                    She was not.

                    What's your relationship with your spouse's kids ?

                    I liked them a lot and they used to call me dad. I used to treat them the same way as my Child. Allah returned my favor to me, now my son is with my ex (I cant get him cos of the stupid American Law) but it is obviouse that they love him a lot and they always protect him from others Alhamdolilah I see this through facebook. Yes I was fair for the sake of Allah but imajin that I as not fare they wouldve take revenge now.

                    How was the first meeting with the kids ?

                    I was looking around when we woke me up calling me dady..!!! he was 3 years old and I just turned 22 back then, I did not expect to be dady this quickly.. but it was good

                    Any advice for brothers or sisters who are married to a divorced who has kids ?

                    Make them love you. Dont put yourself with their level, I mean by this be the mother not the sister. Forgive them for their mistakes and if you see something REALLY bad let your husband deal with them not you. Allah knows best

                    YOU SHOULD NOT LOVE US ALL FOR THE SAKE OF ALLAH, LOVE THE SISTERS HERE AND YOUR FUTURE HUSBAND.

                    Bottom line do this for the sake of Allah first and dont ask for return.
                    Last edited by insann; 28-12-14, 09:18 AM.
                    Sorry I dont carry a conversation nor an argument with a sister. I just put my point of view in general for everybody and it is up to you to take it or leave it.

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