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Husband at cold war with wife

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  • Husband at cold war with wife

    salaam alkumn
    after many years of marriage and struggles I am feeling like I have been wasting my time. My husband whenever has a disapointment or troubled leaves me in
    a state of utter coldness. I understand a few days of being upset or processing some worries, but as the years have grown so has his coldness. it is now 3 weeks and
    he will talk as little as possible to me, like I am a complete stranger. Most recently event of his cold wrath was the fact that I have lost my part time job. this has I beleive come about all because I am not able to meet his expectations of working full time .

    I find this unbearable and he seems to take pleasure in this , it is becoming so toxic and I sometimes feel like crying all the time as I have enough stress
    without being unsupported emotionally as well as not being able to assit my husband as I would like to . My patience is running thin and has tried to hard I beleive to jolly him
    out of these long cold black moods before. At times he has struck me before and we have been through a lot of marriage work before. feeling like russias cold war ended before this will.

    p

  • #2
    Re: Husband at cold war with wife

    :wswrwb:

    What do you mean by "coldness"? He just doesn't communicate with you?

    Have you tried to communicate with him? Do you speak with your husband, even for small, nice conversation? Have you tried asking your husband why he won't talk to you?

    Basing relationships on assumptions and doubts is not always a good idea.
    Last edited by starrynight11; 26-12-14, 04:02 AM.
    Life's actually pretty simple: you just have to enjoy it, pray, do good, refrain from bad, and respect others. Being Muslim is not a disadvantage or an advantage - it's a responsibility.
    "So patiently persevere: for verily the promise of Allah is true" (Qur'an, Surah Ar-Rum - 30:60)

    Comment


    • #3
      Re: Husband at cold war with wife

      Take lessons from America. make him go bankrupt! It iz time for shopping!

      Comment


      • #4
        Re: Husband at cold war with wife

        Originally posted by .Singaporean View Post
        Take lessons from America. make him go bankrupt! It iz time for shopping!
        What the heck?!

        That was random.....

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        • #5
          Re: Husband at cold war with wife

          Originally posted by UmmAbdulMalik View Post
          What the heck?!

          That was random.....
          Cold war ---> USSR---> bankruptcy

          Comment


          • #6
            Re: Husband at cold war with wife

            A woman shouldn't be obligated to work anyway, I'm sure many do because of circumstances but a husband giving you the cold shoulder because you're not contributing financially? That sounds quite ludicrous.
            He needs to grow up, be a man, provide for you and his family.
            He also needs to show compassion towards you, it's understandable that your redundancy may cause financial strain upon him but essentially, he's the man of the household. He shouldn't be dependant upon his wife for money.
            And to top it off, he's putting on a cold shoulder because of it?

            Shows he doesn't understand his responsibility as a man tbh. And makes him appear very childish.

            Comment


            • #7
              Re: Husband at cold war with wife

              Wa aalaykum as salaam

              Doesn't your husband understand that it is his job to provide?
              Why does he want you to work? Did you both agree before marriage that you will contribute towards the rent/utilities or whatever else?

              As for the silent treatment, that is obviously not right. It is a form of abuse, and what he is doing is obviously not in line with how a husband should treat his wife in Islam.

              3 weeks is a long time, and in Islam you can't abandon someone for over 3 days. Maybe you should tell him that.

              *Anas bin Malik (May Allah be pleased with him) said: The Messenger of Allah (sallallaahu ’alayhi wa sallam) said, "Do not desert (stop talking to) one another, do not nurse hatred towards one another, do not be jealous of one another, and become as fellow brothers and slaves of Allah. It is not lawful for a Muslim to stop talking to his brother (Muslim) for more than three days''
              [Al-Bukhari and Muslim]

              *Abu Ayyub Al-Ansari (May Allah be pleased with him) said: The Messenger of Allah (sallallaahu ’alayhi wa sallam) said, "It is not lawful for a Muslim to desert (stop talking to) his brother beyond three nights, the one turning one way and the other turning to the other way when they meet, the better of the two is one who is the first to greet the other.''
              [Al-Bukhari and Muslim].

              *Abu Hurairah (May Allah be pleased with him) said: The Messenger of Allah (sallallaahu ’alayhi wa sallam) said, "People's deeds are presented before Allah on Mondays and Thursdays, and then every slave (of Allah) is granted forgiveness (of minor sins) if he does not associate anything with Allah in worship. But the person in whose heart there is rancour against his brother, will not be pardoned. With regard to them, it is said twice: `Hold these two until they are reconciled'.''
              [Muslim].

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              • #8
                Re: Husband at cold war with wife

                Sounds like he is the one messed up

                If he cannot provide it is his fault and should not expect you to work to provide for you both

                I can understand it might be hard for some surviving on one wage these days but he has to be reasonable.
                Ya Muqallib Al-Quloob Thabbit Qalbi Alaa Deenik
                ( O changer of hearts, keep my heart steadfast on your deen)

                www.treasureofthescholars.wordpress.com

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                • #9
                  Re: Husband at cold war with wife

                  ...
                  Last edited by wifeseeker; 17-02-15, 12:01 AM. Reason: old

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                  • #10
                    Re: Husband at cold war with wife

                    w/salaam sis. you say he struck you? don't put up with that....it may only get worse. if it was me in your shoes, i'd be outta there. do you have any kids with him?
                    لآ اِلَهَ اِلّا اللّهُ مُحَمَّدٌ رَسُوُل اللّهِ

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                    • #11
                      Re: Husband at cold war with wife

                      Just tell him The Soviets are invading the country, and more specifically, YOUR household.
                      Hahaha

                      ('Twas a joke btw! Don't actually do that! Lol)

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                      • #12
                        Re: Husband at cold war with wife

                        :wswrwb:

                        He should stop acting like a girl.
                        Last edited by cho09082489; 27-12-14, 07:48 AM.

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                        • #13
                          Re: Husband at cold war with wife

                          This is the wrong place to get advice about such a topic. Go talk to the Imam's (a good Imam) wife and see if she could make the Imam talk to him... or maybe she could give you better advises...
                          Sorry I dont carry a conversation nor an argument with a sister. I just put my point of view in general for everybody and it is up to you to take it or leave it.

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                          • #14
                            Re: Husband at cold war with wife

                            When he's like that, don't try to suck up to him or appease him. If he's gonna deprive you, then do it back to him. No cooking for him and no cleaning for him. He dont have the rights to do that to you.

                            And the silent treatment thing is for teenage girls, not big manz

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              Originally posted by Minzur View Post
                              When he's like that, don't try to suck up to him or appease him. If he's gonna deprive you, then do it back to him. No cooking for him and no cleaning for him. He dont have the rights to do that to you.

                              And the silent treatment thing is for teenage girls, not big manz
                              That is a bad advice. What ever he does, don't do the same.

                              Comment

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