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  • Marrying a non muslim girl after converting

    My salam to all the brothers and sisters,
    i am surronded by problems and seek help from who so ever can provide me with the right guidance, i intend to marry a girl whom i know from the past 8 years. i conveyed her the message and invited her to follow islam and i am happy to inform that she is willing to do so too ( not bcz we want to marry each other but bcz she loves the religion and its teachings) but the issue here is my parents are unwilling to accept it and say what i intend to do is wrong (this is basically bcz of what the society will think etc etc) they say never has anyone done such a thing in the family and we will not allow u to do so either. things at home have gotten very bad.. they judge the girl on the basis of her previous life style, i agree to the fact that me being born in a muslim family have committed sins too but it doesnt mean that i am fogiven bcz am a muslim and she is not cz she was born in a non muslim family. i wish i could show u how pure my intentions are to get her to the right path bcz i want to see her with me in jannah, it isnt her fault that she was born in a non muslim family.. my parents say u need to chose between us and her, they say we will not give u our name if u do so and all sorts of other things..am i right at what am doing and am i right if i follow this path and chose to revert this girl and marry her rather than listening to my parents and leaving all this aside.. i feel i am a source to someones imaan and i have a strong urge to follow it, i am not confused of what to do i just want to know that even if after my best efforts i fail to make my parents agree to this, is me going against them and their wish and offering someone a hand into islam the right thing? bcz i have heard a lot of ppl say that if u disobey ur parents commands and wishes u will never prosper, but i on the other hand am trying to do a good cause and my elders dont see what i see!!.. pls suggest me and help me find a way out of this situation .

  • #2
    Re: Marrying a non muslim girl after converting

    Do as they say, convert-to-marry never works out.

    Comment


    • #3
      Re: Marrying a non muslim girl after converting

      Originally posted by Hadid View Post
      Do as they say, convert-to-marry never works out.
      Though what you said is true, he stated she doesn't want to convert to get married.
      ▪️ 〰 Say what you wish in abuse of me, for my silence towards the idiot is indeed an answer. I am not at a loss for a response, but rather it does not befit the lion to answer the dogs. 〰 ▪️

      ~ IMAM SHAFI'I RH

      Comment


      • #4
        Re: Marrying a non muslim girl after converting

        Brother I would suggest stopping contact with the lady as it is not allowed for the both you of to be communicating with each other... and if Allah wills she will embrace Islam.
        ▪️ 〰 Say what you wish in abuse of me, for my silence towards the idiot is indeed an answer. I am not at a loss for a response, but rather it does not befit the lion to answer the dogs. 〰 ▪️

        ~ IMAM SHAFI'I RH

        Comment


        • #5
          Re: Marrying a non muslim girl after converting

          Originally posted by Hannahk92 View Post
          Though what you said is true, he stated she doesn't want to convert to get married.
          I remain sceptical.

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          • #6
            Re: Marrying a non muslim girl after converting

            Family comes first. It must be hard to let her go, but you need your parents' consent. At least she converts anyway...so you'll see her in paradise in sha Allah :)

            Comment


            • #7
              Re: Marrying a non muslim girl after converting

              Originally posted by adnan.a View Post
              My salam to all the brothers and sisters,
              i am surronded by problems and seek help from who so ever can provide me with the right guidance, i intend to marry a girl whom i know from the past 8 years. i conveyed her the message and invited her to follow islam and i am happy to inform that she is willing to do so too ( not bcz we want to marry each other but bcz she loves the religion and its teachings) but the issue here is my parents are unwilling to accept it and say what i intend to do is wrong (this is basically bcz of what the society will think etc etc) they say never has anyone done such a thing in the family and we will not allow u to do so either. things at home have gotten very bad.. they judge the girl on the basis of her previous life style, i agree to the fact that me being born in a muslim family have committed sins too but it doesnt mean that i am fogiven bcz am a muslim and she is not cz she was born in a non muslim family. i wish i could show u how pure my intentions are to get her to the right path bcz i want to see her with me in jannah, it isnt her fault that she was born in a non muslim family.. my parents say u need to chose between us and her, they say we will not give u our name if u do so and all sorts of other things..am i right at what am doing and am i right if i follow this path and chose to revert this girl and marry her rather than listening to my parents and leaving all this aside.. i feel i am a source to someones imaan and i have a strong urge to follow it, i am not confused of what to do i just want to know that even if after my best efforts i fail to make my parents agree to this, is me going against them and their wish and offering someone a hand into islam the right thing? bcz i have heard a lot of ppl say that if u disobey ur parents commands and wishes u will never prosper, but i on the other hand am trying to do a good cause and my elders dont see what i see!!.. pls suggest me and help me find a way out of this situation .
              There's no way out you have to make a choice. As a man you have the right to marry whoever you wish, you don't need your parents permission and they cannot take away your name. That is complete nonsense. Finding someone you like is tremendously difficult. They're objecting based on what others think which is not a valid reason to object and even if they had valid reasons you can marry whoever you want. Your parents have no say in the matter Islamically, it doesn't matter what they say, you are not sinning in disobeying them because who a man marries is his decision not one elses. If you want to take their views on board do so. If I was in your situation I would chose the girl, 11 times out of 10. If you don't you'll probably regret it for the rest of your life.

              Good parents want their children to be happy. That's not to say we can't disprove, I would be annoyed if my sons came to me wanting to marry desi girls but would still support them. I think this is an easy choice to make. Get your own place, marry the girl, live happily ever after :insha:
              Last edited by Nulbreaker; 24-12-14, 11:24 PM.
              "We cast the truth against the falsehood, so that it breaks its head, and lo! it vanishes; and woe to you for what you describe." Qur'an 21:18

              Comment


              • #8
                Re: Marrying a non muslim girl after converting

                Originally posted by Kobak View Post
                Family comes first. It must be hard to let her go, but you need your parents' consent. At least she converts anyway...so you'll see her in paradise in sha Allah :)
                He doesn't need his parents consent, thought it would be better if his parents are happy with it.
                ▪️ 〰 Say what you wish in abuse of me, for my silence towards the idiot is indeed an answer. I am not at a loss for a response, but rather it does not befit the lion to answer the dogs. 〰 ▪️

                ~ IMAM SHAFI'I RH

                Comment


                • #9
                  Re: Marrying a non muslim girl after converting

                  Originally posted by Hannahk92 View Post
                  He doesn't need his parents consent, thought it would be better if his parents are happy with it.
                  But apparently they are not happy with it, and they'd kind of disown him, so read my post in context of the topic :p

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Re: Marrying a non muslim girl after converting

                    Originally posted by Kobak View Post
                    But apparently they are not happy with it, and they'd kind of disown him, so read my post in context of the topic :p
                    So let them disown him. Anyone with that sort of mindset isn't a great loss.
                    "We cast the truth against the falsehood, so that it breaks its head, and lo! it vanishes; and woe to you for what you describe." Qur'an 21:18

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Re: Marrying a non muslim girl after converting

                      Originally posted by Nulbreaker View Post
                      So let them disown him. Anyone with that sort of mindset isn't a great loss.
                      Well, you have a point. But you have only one father and one mother, while you can find many prospective spouses.

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        Re: Marrying a non muslim girl after converting

                        Originally posted by Kobak View Post
                        Well, you have a point. But you have only one father and one mother, while you can find many prospective spouses.
                        You can pick your nose but you can't pick your family.
                        "We cast the truth against the falsehood, so that it breaks its head, and lo! it vanishes; and woe to you for what you describe." Qur'an 21:18

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          Marrying a non muslim girl after converting

                          The Messenger of Allah ﷺ said: “It will be said to the companion of the Qur’an: ‘Read, and ascend, and recite as you used to recite in the [previous] world, for your status will be according to the last verse that you recite.’” [At-Tirmidhi (2914) and Abu Dawood (1464)]

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            Re: Marrying a non muslim girl after converting

                            Originally posted by Nulbreaker View Post
                            You can pick your nose but you can't pick your family.
                            Okay, bro, you are right, he should choose the girl over his family. He can do whatever he wants, after all, I don't even understand why did he need advice from strangers. Such parents are not a big loss, it doesn't matter that they raised him and he'd bring shame to them. I'm sorry for spreading bad advice.
                            Last edited by Kobak; 25-12-14, 01:17 AM.

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              Re: Marrying a non muslim girl after converting

                              Originally posted by Nulbreaker View Post
                              So let them disown him. Anyone with that sort of mindset isn't a great loss.
                              regardless they are still his parents

                              i woudl suggest you stop poisoning the minds of the youngsters here against parents who do not always jump to their tune. We cant have everything we want and sometimes ineed parents themselves are a test for us to bear
                              Ibnul Qayyim رحمه الله said: "Dont ruin your happiness with worry, and dont ruin your mind with pessimism. Dont ruin your success with deception and dont ruin the optimism of others by destroying it. Dont ruin your day by looking back at yesterday.
                              __________________________________________________ _____________________________
                              If you think about your situation, you will find that Allaah (سبحانه وتعالى) has given you things without asking, so have trust in Allaah (سبحانه وتعالى) that He doesnt prevent anything you want except there is goodness for you.

                              You could be sleeping and the doors of the heavens are being opened with duaas being made on your behalf, SubhanAllaah: perhaps from someone poor whom you helped, or someone sad whom you brought joy, or someone passing by and you smiled at him, or someone in distress and you removed it.. so dont ever underestimate any good deeds."



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