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In need of some advice - Marriage & Istikhara

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  • In need of some advice - Marriage & Istikhara

    Assalaamu Alaykum,

    I pray you are all in the best of iman and health.

    I have recently had a marriage proposal (through my parents as it is arranged) from a man who is alhamdulillah practicing and is extremely caring and nice. We have been talking for a few months now, only for the purpose of marriage. From what I have found he is extremely caring and I know he will look after me. However I don't have any emotional attachment with him nor do I feel we have a lot in common. I have a lot of doubts about the marriage, I don't feel content nor do I feel peace at the thought of marrying him. I feel extremely bad as he is very nice and he likes me very much. He has prayed istikhara three times and says he has a good feelling. I have prayed istikhara 5 times so far (I am going to carry on praying until I have finally decided on what to do) and have many doubts and uneasiness. My parents think he is a good boy who will look after me but they say it is important that we have a connection which I feel we don't have. Although my parents haven't said yes, he talks as if we are already engaged, making the whole situation even more pressuring and confusing for me. I really don't want to hurt his feelings.
    I would appreciate some really good advice please,

    JazakAllah Khair

  • #2
    Re: In need of some advice - Marriage & Istikhara

    ...
    Last edited by wifeseeker; 16-02-15, 11:51 PM. Reason: old

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    • #3
      Re: In need of some advice - Marriage & Istikhara

      Originally posted by shinyeyes View Post
      Assalaamu Alaykum,

      I pray you are all in the best of iman and health.

      I have recently had a marriage proposal (through my parents as it is arranged) from a man who is alhamdulillah practicing and is extremely caring and nice. We have been talking for a few months now, only for the purpose of marriage. From what I have found he is extremely caring and I know he will look after me. However I don't have any emotional attachment with him nor do I feel we have a lot in common. I have a lot of doubts about the marriage, I don't feel content nor do I feel peace at the thought of marrying him. I feel extremely bad as he is very nice and he likes me very much. He has prayed istikhara three times and says he has a good feelling. I have prayed istikhara 5 times so far (I am going to carry on praying until I have finally decided on what to do) and have many doubts and uneasiness. My parents think he is a good boy who will look after me but they say it is important that we have a connection which I feel we don't have. Although my parents haven't said yes, he talks as if we are already engaged, making the whole situation even more pressuring and confusing for me. I really don't want to hurt his feelings.
      I would appreciate some really good advice please,

      JazakAllah Khair
      The decision is yours nor your parents! It's a shame you don't feel anything but when you marry the intent should be forever - this life and the next. If you can't or don't see that happening with this man then it's better to end it before his feelings get stronger. Just remember you may not get an opportunity like this again.

      As wifeseeker said what is it about him that worries you? There has to be something.
      "We cast the truth against the falsehood, so that it breaks its head, and lo! it vanishes; and woe to you for what you describe." Qur'an 21:18

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