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  • The guy i like is about to get married

    Salamualikum,

    During this past few moths I met a guy on Facebook ( yes I know it's a shame) and I have fallen for him. He is a good practising muslim, he is very much into his deen and he is just perfect (Some might say it's blind love but i know it's true).
    I have spoken to him and he is really nice and you can have a nice conversation with him, he is always talking about religion politics etc… which are some of the things I like too. Recently I found out that he is going to propose to a girl, and that breaks my heart because I have been making dua for a while now that maybe he will look past my ugliness (since I am not his type well I'm actually nobodies type) and propose to me but no. I am very sad (not to the point where i want to kill myself and all) but I don't know what to do.
    I try telling myself that Allah might be seeing something that I can't see and it's maybe for the best that he doesn't marry me but I don't want to accept it sometimes I feel like I am getting signs from Allah that he will be with me but every time it's not true( I know they might be my own imagination since I like him a lot and I'm trying to be hopefull). I have never told him how I feel in fear of rejection but I know even if I do he'll reject me because I personally do not find myself to be that "beautiful". I feel like I am destined to be alone.
    I have never had a marriage proposal, no one has ever showed interest in me. I try to not believe in love since I might never experience that, but I can't it doesn't want to come. I'm 19 btw and some people might say that I'm young etc… that I might get married someday but I don't think it'll ever happen for me, some people just don't know how your life is and they just assume. I've been in a bad mood because of this, I try listening to lectures, occupy myself with islamic things but it makes me more sad because they remind me of him, of the fact that Allah (my tought I am not Allah) does not want me to be with him so what's the use, and also I don't find them as moving as before.
    I am trying so hard to forget about him but I just can't, it hurts to know that you might spend the rest of your life alone.
    Please I need help as i don't know what to do. How do I accept that Allah might see something that I can't see? I know it could be a reason but I do not want to accept it.

  • #2
    Re: The guy i like is about to get married

    :salams

    Sister, you are only 19 and you've already made up a whole scenario about the rest of your life, that no one will ever propose to you, you will always be alone, Allah doesn't like you, etc.

    You are very young and you sound very naive. A guy from FB is getting married and you're going all emotional. Sister, that's not how life works. This is a very small, matter which shouldn't even occupy your mind.

    But, anyways, forget about this guy. You already said you know it's wrong that you met a random guy over FB (which is a good reason as to why we need to stay away from social media - this is what shaytaan makes us do over FB ans Twitter). People think "Oh, I will only follow religious pages..." Yeah, right.

    Please, forget about him. Stop talking to him and stay away from doing things online that are wrong. Repent to Allah for anything wrong you have done and think positively of Allah :insha:

    You are just 19 and have a long way ahead of you, so don't get these nonsensical ideas about your future that no one likes you, and no one will marry you because you are ugly and whatnot. Don't occupy your mind with these things.

    Worry about important things: How is concentration in your salaah, how is your relationship with the Quran, how pleased are your parents from you, how much charity do you give, how many voluntary fasts you do each months, etc. These things will matter when you die, not some random dude on FB who you are crushing over. 1 - 2 months and he'll be gone from your mind :insha: It's no big deal.
    Secure few moments, everyday, to reflect upon the innumerable blessings of Allah and thank Him for bestowing them upon you.

    "A person who is blessed with the ability to be grateful, shall never be deprived of barakah and increase in blessings."
    - Rasulullah (صلی اللہ علیہ وسلم)‎

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    • #3
      Re: The guy i like is about to get married

      Walaikum Salam

      Listen, dont ever even think about killing yourself over someone else ... Especially some guy ...
      How dare they challenge me with their primitive skills? They're just as good as dead

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      • #4
        Re: The guy i like is about to get married

        I really sympathize with you, but if this guy did not propose to you Insha Allah someone better will come around

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        • #5
          Re: The guy i like is about to get married

          Why are you jumping to conclusions like maybe not getting proposals for the rest of your life? You're only 19! I'm 20 and I've only gotten 2 proposals. There's a right time for everything sis, just wait and it will happen.

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          • #6
            Re: The guy i like is about to get married

            Maybe there is someone better out there you're destined to be with. Take him off your facebook and think about other things. In no time you will have forgotten him

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            • #7
              Re: The guy i like is about to get married

              Originally posted by Musicisme656 View Post
              Why are you jumping to conclusions like maybe not getting proposals for the rest of your life? You're only 19! I'm 20 and I've only gotten 2 proposals. There's a right time for everything sis, just wait and it will happen.
              Lol you got proposals?

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              • #8
                Re: The guy i like is about to get married

                Originally posted by Halaa View Post
                Lol you got proposals?
                yeah, why?

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                • #9
                  Re: The guy i like is about to get married

                  Originally posted by Musicisme656 View Post
                  yeah, why?
                  Because you are a guy I wasn't expecting it but it happens :)

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Re: The guy i like is about to get married

                    :wswrwb:

                    Sis, don't let some guy online ruin your entire life. Bring yourself closer to the deen and inshaAllah things will get right. May Allah grant you a pious husband soon. Also, don't be so negative towards yourself :)

                    :jkk:

                    Message to everyone: DONT GET TOO FREE WITH THE OPPOSITE GENDER ESPECIALLY ONLINE.
                    إن الصلاة تنهى عن الفحشاء والمنكر

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Re: The guy i like is about to get married

                      :wswrwb:

                      Lol, that was a cute story. I think through all that 'Facebook stalking', you developed a crush on this boy. This is one of the ways in which social media is a fitnah, and should be used responsibly. It's a good thing that you didn't contact the boy privately and you made du'a to Allah for this boy, so give yourself some credit for that.

                      You don't know what the future holds for you, Sister, so don't lose hope in Allah like this. You might think this boy was perfect for you, but Allah created this boy and you, and only He knows whether or not you two would've been good for each other. If after all that du'a this boy was taken away from you, then that's probably Allah's way of telling you that this boy was not the guy for you and that there may be something better in store for you. You have to believe in your heart and trust that Allah will always give you what is best for you, at a time that is perfect. He is the Best of Planners and His timing is perfect. So, if it didn't work out with this boy, keep making du'a to Allah like you did in the beginning and ask Allah to give you a spouse that you will like. Allah loves to hear our du'as and He loves to give us His blessings, so don't stop asking. :)

                      I know of sisters and brothers that have gone through what you've gone through, and they continued to ask Allah for a good spouse even after being heartbroken or 'let down' a bit. And you know what? They eventually did find a good spouse that they were happy with, and are now happily married, Alhamdulilaah. Don't let this heartbreak or rejection get you down, Sister. Allah has something better in store for you. Carry on with your own life and practice the deen, and everything will work out, :insha:

                      For next time also, don't get too caught up with 'signs' and all that. You'll know your Istikhara worked if you feel peace and tranquility in your heart, the other party feels that way about you, everything around you also falls into place naturally (without you doing haraam things), and you two end up getting married. Love for a non-Mahram isn't supposed to make you lose your sleep - that's infatuation and lust.

                      :jkk:
                      Last edited by starrynight11; 24-12-14, 09:21 PM.
                      Life's actually pretty simple: you just have to enjoy it, pray, do good, refrain from bad, and respect others. Being Muslim is not a disadvantage or an advantage - it's a responsibility.
                      "So patiently persevere: for verily the promise of Allah is true" (Qur'an, Surah Ar-Rum - 30:60)

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        Re: The guy i like is about to get married

                        Originally posted by Talwaar View Post
                        Walaikum Salam

                        Listen, dont ever even think about killing yourself over someone else ... Especially some guy ...
                        Don't worry, I will never kill myself for man ever

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          Re: The guy i like is about to get married

                          Originally posted by Halaa View Post
                          Because you are a guy I wasn't expecting it but it happens :)
                          That's sexist. I'm a strong supporter of maleinism.

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                          • #14
                            Re: The guy i like is about to get married

                            Originally posted by Musicisme656 View Post
                            That's sexist. I'm a strong supporter of maleinism.
                            Loll

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              Re: The guy i like is about to get married

                              Originally posted by Talwaar View Post
                              Walaikum Salam

                              Listen, dont ever even think about killing yourself over someone else ... Especially some guy ...
                              Innit...you tell her Talwaar!

                              guys really aren't worth it hun
                              :sub: wabihamdihi:sub:hiladheem

                              Comment

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