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  • #31
    Re: A difficult decision...

    Originally posted by Umm_Tamiyyah View Post
    I suppose this is a troll.

    Your intention is haraam 100%, it is not the solution to your problem. There are PLENTY of Muslim refugees and windows that need a husband. What you mentioned is utterly selfish.
    I tend to think troll as well, expect got to give the benefit of the doubt in case genuine as I've met people with just such attitudes towards women in real life as well. Think some sisters under estimate how pervey and weird some guys can be, yes even Muslim brothers.
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    • #32
      Re: A difficult decision...

      Originally posted by Unconditional View Post
      I know rightt I read this and was like wuutt? It amazes me how some men think loool, it's basically prostitution.
      Believe me I have seen some bizarre questions from men on this forum... Even one asked if he can spank his wife to maintain good discipline.. Another guy asked if men let their wife laugh in public.... and many more that I can't remember right now!

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      • #33
        A difficult decision...

        iRepIslam truly hasn't lived yet. Uh oh. What is happening here
        The Messenger of Allah ﷺ said: “It will be said to the companion of the Qur’an: ‘Read, and ascend, and recite as you used to recite in the [previous] world, for your status will be according to the last verse that you recite.’” [At-Tirmidhi (2914) and Abu Dawood (1464)]

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        • #34
          Re: A difficult decision...

          Originally posted by Umm_Tamiyyah View Post
          Believe me I have seen some bizarre questions from men on this forum... Even one asked if he can spank his wife to maintain good discipline.. Another guy asked if men let their wife laugh in public.... and many more that I can't remember right now!
          Omg Mann, why do men think women are possessions? Allah has given them rights over us but that doesn't mean we are their slaves. They're supposed to be protecting us against Harm not be the cause of it.

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          • #35
            Re: A difficult decision...

            Originally posted by Outreach4Islam View Post
            I tend to think troll as well, expect got to give the benefit of the doubt in case genuine as I've met people with just such attitudes towards women in real life as well. Think some sisters under estimate how pervey and weird some guys can be, yes even Muslim brothers.
            In fact this is what Western women or modernised Muslim women don't understand.. Many men are weird and pervy.. and whilst most can contain their sexual desires, some cannot.. and Islamic clothing is designed to be a line of defense against that.

            Then again, cultural practices that put obstacles in front of marriage such as money issues are also counterproductive.

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            • #36
              Re: A difficult decision...

              Originally posted by khavar View Post

              So i have decided to take a wife from Christian community, knowing that it is most likely that after 18 months when i make hijrah the marriage will likely be disolved or end in divorce,
              it is unlikely that she will accompany me to live a a second wife so it is likely to be a divorce.
              This is Just no option.

              Marriage with intention of divorcing is trying to cheat. We not allowed to cheat Non - Muslims or Muslims.
              Please refrain from such a thing.

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              • #37
                Re: A difficult decision...

                Originally posted by Umm_Tamiyyah View Post
                In fact this is what Western women or modernised Muslim women don't understand.. Many men are weird and pervy.. and whilst most can contain their sexual desires, some cannot.. and Islamic clothing is designed to be a line of defense against that.

                Then again, cultural practices that put obstacles in front of marriage such as money issues are also counterproductive.
                yes, we've made marriage difficult and expensive and zina cheap and easy.

                Spoke to families who would rather their kids do zina quietly than 'shame them' by marrying young or before finished studies. Sometimes just cannot understand Muslims like this.
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                • #38
                  Re: A difficult decision...

                  Originally posted by Outreach4Islam View Post
                  yes, we've made marriage difficult and expensive and zina cheap and easy.

                  Spoke to families who would rather their kids do zina quietly than 'shame them' by marrying young or before finished studies. Sometimes just cannot understand Muslims like this.
                  Wow the state of the Ummah is certainly at it's worst..

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                  • #39
                    Re: A difficult decision...

                    Originally posted by Unconditional View Post
                    Is this a joke? Tell me your not serious here. Are you really saying you can't find any modest muslimah where you live AT ALL but want to marry a non-Muslim instead. Really? You realise non-muslim relationships are so different to us because they require years before marrying and she's more likely to cheat on you because for them now adultery is the norm. I'm not saying they're all the same but it's going to be more challenging marrying one than a muslimah. DON'T go through with it, you might aswell have committed zinah if you have an intention to divorce because your marriage will be null. We're not gold diggers, there must be a practicing muslimah who wouldn't be soo fussy about how much money you have and is ready to make hijrah just have some patience,guard yourself from the shaytan, make frequent due and inshallah you'll get through.
                    Last edited by khavar; 24-12-14, 04:35 PM.

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                    • #40
                      Re: A difficult decision...

                      I think your very selfish and a user really.. I'm sure the Christian wouldn't like the concept of your PLAN to use, abuse and leave behind.
                      What if she gets pregnant? Will you also leave your child? Think wisely brother..
                      Start your journey on good terms and it will end on good terms. Don't use people for anything...your better then that!
                      I love you, cherish you and worship you,
                      Guide me on your path to your janna,
                      Unite me beside you My King and all mighty,


                      :love:Allah:love:

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                      • #41
                        Re: A difficult decision...

                        Please stop talking, you have no idea how offensive what you said is but I just can't be asked with you.We're trying to give you sincere advise but it seems your more interested in slagging off muslim women.whatever anyways:

                        Here's proof on an Islamic perspective-Praise be to Allaah.
                        Some scholars said that a marriage done with the intention of getting divorced is an invalid marriage, because it is temporary, so it is akin to mut’ah marriage.

                        Among those who are of this opinion are the scholars of the Standing Committee for Issuing Fatwas. We have quoted their fatwa in the answer to question no. 91962.

                        Others are of the view that it is a valid marriage, but it is haraam due to the deceit and betrayal involved, because if the woman and her guardian knew that the husband was only getting married with the intention of divorce after a few days or a month and so on, they would not have agreed to that.

                        Among those who are of this opinion is Shaykh Muhammad ibn ‘Uthaymeen (may Allaah have mercy on him). He was asked:

                        There is a man who wants to go abroad because he is being sponsored by the government, and he wants to maintain his chastity by marrying a woman there for a specific period, then after that he will divorce this wife, without telling her that he is going to divorce her. What is the ruling on his doing this?

                        He replied:

                        One of two scenarios must apply to this marriage that is done with the intention of divorce. Either he stipulates in the marriage contract that he is marrying her for a month or a year or until his studies end, which is a mut’ah marriage and is haraam, or he is intending that without stipulating it. The well known Hanbali view is that it is haraam and the marriage contract is invalid, because they say that that which is intended is like that which is stipulated, because the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “Actions are but by intentions and each person will have but that which he intended.” And because if a man marries a woman who was divorced thrice by her husband for the purpose of making her permissible for him, then he divorces her, then the marriage is invalid, even if that is done without any stipulation, because that which is intended is like that which is stipulated. If the intention is tahleel (making it permissible for the woman to go back to her first husband) then the contract is invalid. Similarly the intention of mut’ah renders the marriage contract invalid. This is the view of the Hanbalis. The other scholarly view concerning this issue is that it is valid to marry the woman with the intention of divorcing her when he leaves the country, like those who go abroad to study and so on. They said: Because this is not stipulated, and the difference between this and mut’ah is that when the time stipulated comes, separation is automatic, unlike this, because he may like this wife and want her to stay with him. This is one of the two views of Shaykh al-Islam Ibn Taymiyah.

                        In my view, it is valid and is not mut’ah, because the definition of mut’ah does not apply to it. But it is haraam because it is deceiving the wife and her family, and the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) forbade deceiving and cheating. If the wife knew that this man only wanted to marry her for this period, she would not have married him and her family would not have agreed. Just as he would not want to give his daughter in marriage to a person who intends to divorce her when he no longer has any need of her, how can he agree to treat others in a way that he would not like for himself? This is contrary to faith, because the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “No one of you is a believer until he likes for his brother what he likes for himself.” And because I have heard that some people use this opinion as a means to do something which no scholar would approve: they go to other countries just to get married, so they go and get married, and they stay there for as long as Allaah wills with this wife whom they intended to marry for a short time only, then come back. This is also a grave wrong and closing the door to it would have been better because of the deceit and betrayal involved in it, and because it opens the door to such things, as most people are ignorant and most people’s whims and desires encourage them to transgress the sacred limits of Allaah. End quote.

                        Fataawa al-Mar’ah al-Muslimah (2/757, 758).

                        It says in the resolutions of the Fiqh Council:

                        Marrying with the intention of divorce means: a marriage in which the conditions of marriage are fulfilled, but the husband intends in his heart to divorce the woman after a certain length of time, such as ten days, or an unknown length of time, such as when the husband has completed his studies or when he achieves the purpose for which he came.

                        Although some scholars permitted this type of marriage, the Council thinks that it is not permissible, because it includes deceit and cheating, because if the woman or her guardian knew about that, they would not have agreed to this marriage contract.

                        And because it leads to serious negative consequences and real harm which damages the reputation of the Muslims.

                        And Allaah is the Source of strength. May Allaah send blessings and peace upon our Prophet Muhammad and his family and companions. End quote.

                        http://www.themwl.org/Fatwa/default....62&l=AR&cid=13

                        Whatever the case, marrying with the intention of getting divorced is haraam, and it may be either invalid in and of itself like mut’ah, or haraam because of the deceit and betrayal involved.

                        And Allaah knows best.

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                        • #42
                          Re: A difficult decision...

                          Originally posted by Fragile View Post
                          I think your very selfish and a user really.. I'm sure the Christian is human too and wouldn't like the concept of your PLAN to use, abuse and leave behind.
                          What if she gets pregnant? Will you also leave your child? Think wisely brother..
                          Start your journey and good terms and it will end on good terms. Don't use people for anything...your better then that!
                          I am selfish, and she is not ? She is using me for financial gain is she not benefiting also ? If she becomes worthy of being a mother to my child
                          i will ask her to come with me to live in a Muslim country with the understanding that i may take another wife, i am not forcing her to do anything,
                          she wants to marry me also, not every woman is a angel you know, some of them are pretty devious also and try and milk a man for what they
                          can as long as they can.

                          You seem to be another idealist who believes every relationship is some lovey dovey match made in heaven.

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                          • #43
                            Re: A difficult decision...

                            you're a troll.

                            No one who is serious enough about the deen to want to make hijrah would be this heartless a prick, so therefore you are a troll.
                            FOLLOW THE NEW BLOG - GINGERBEARDMAN - Muslim, father, husband, writer, defender of ginger rights!

                            www.facebook.com/outreach4Islam - Outreach4Islam have been working together in Leicester, calling the not yet Muslims to Islam since 2006.

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                            • #44
                              Re: A difficult decision...

                              Originally posted by khavar View Post
                              I am selfish, and she is not ? She is using me for financial gain is she not benefiting also ? If she becomes worthy of being a mother to my child
                              i will ask her to come with me to live in a Muslim country with the understanding that i may take another wife, i am not forcing her to do anything,
                              she wants to marry me also, not every woman is a angel you know, some of them are pretty devious also and try and milk a man for what they
                              can as long as they can.

                              You seem to be another idealist who believes every relationship is some lovey dovey match made in heaven.
                              No I don't believe every relationship is lovely dovey match made in heaven.. I just don't agree with your devious plan... What if she was a good woman who really cared for you, wanted more from you and trusted you. You have very right to marry another, I agree with you but this is wrong.
                              I love you, cherish you and worship you,
                              Guide me on your path to your janna,
                              Unite me beside you My King and all mighty,


                              :love:Allah:love:

                              Comment


                              • #45
                                Re: A difficult decision...

                                Originally posted by Outreach4Islam View Post
                                you're a troll.

                                No one who is serious enough about the deen to want to make hijrah would be this heartless a prick, so therefore you are a troll.
                                It's not even so much about the fact that he's heartless,what caught my attention is that he seems to have more respect to non-Muslim women and he's degrading his own sisters.
                                Last edited by Unconditional; 24-12-14, 04:52 PM.

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