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Should you get to know someone first or ask to see what they look like

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  • Re: Should you get to know someone first or ask to see what they look like

    Originally posted by ibraheemproduct View Post
    Ive done my gcse, got C in everything apart from product design D english D maths F and urdu U but ict science travel tourism french health and social all C. :-)
    MashaAllah, Well done! LOL U in urdu, joker, bet ur mum werent happy. So what you go college now yeh?
    :sub: wabihamdihi:sub:hiladheem

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    • Re: Should you get to know someone first or ask to see what they look like

      When you see a couple together, don't check them both out and then decide 'oh she's too good for him' or 'he's too good for her'. That's soooo wrong in my opinion because they might know of good qualities about each other that other people don't see. And just because you find their spouse ugly doesn't mean they do.

      So it's best to lower your gaze and just focus on your own spouse instead of judging other peoples looks.
      Last edited by DaughterOfAdam; 24-12-14, 03:10 AM.

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      • Re: Should you get to know someone first or ask to see what they look like

        Originally posted by Sirius View Post
        i think ugly is an extreme word, don't you think.
        unattractive to your eyeballs/mind maybe but ugly is a stretch.

        let's put words in their right places.
        It doesn't have a nice sound to it, but it is a word, and it does exist according to others' perceptions.

        'Unattractive' is a nicer way to say it, though.
        Life's actually pretty simple: you just have to enjoy it, pray, do good, refrain from bad, and respect others. Being Muslim is not a disadvantage or an advantage - it's a responsibility.
        "So patiently persevere: for verily the promise of Allah is true" (Qur'an, Surah Ar-Rum - 30:60)

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        • Re: Should you get to know someone first or ask to see what they look like

          I don't do that anyway @DofA
          :sub: wabihamdihi:sub:hiladheem

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          • Re: Should you get to know someone first or ask to see what they look like

            Originally posted by rainbow*~ View Post
            I don't do that anyway @DofA
            Ok that's good :)
            Sorry

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            • Re: Should you get to know someone first or ask to see what they look like

              Originally posted by starrynight11 View Post
              It doesn't have a nice sound to it, but it is a word, and it does exist according to others' perceptions.

              'Unattractive' is a nicer way to say it, though.
              i'm not saying they're the same thing so putting it in a nicer way isn't the issue.
              i'm saying they are different things but we may use it in a wrong way.
              'And when a thing for which you ask is slow to come,
              Then know that often through delay are gifts received'
              علي الحبشي

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              • Originally posted by rainbow*~ View Post
                MashaAllah, Well done! LOL U in urdu, joker, bet ur mum werent happy. So what you go college now yeh?
                Wow, you know me too well... U in urdu because mix of punjabi, english and i sometimes stutter. I go college to do ICT, wanna get AT LESST a level 3 qualification to EVEN BE CONSIDERED by sony, nokia or samsung... I am currently studdying level one and after 18, you have to pay £600 a year to go college.

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                • Re: Should you get to know someone first or ask to see what they look like

                  Originally posted by Sirius View Post
                  i think ugly is an extreme word, don't you think.
                  unattractive to your eyeballs/mind maybe but ugly is a stretch.

                  let's put words in their right places.
                  Lool this cracked me up, your eyeballs don't have a mind of their own :D

                  Comment


                  • Re: Should you get to know someone first or ask to see what they look like

                    Originally posted by Unconditional View Post
                    Lool this cracked me up, your eyeballs don't have a mind of their own :D
                    thanks for letting me know. i appreciate it.
                    'And when a thing for which you ask is slow to come,
                    Then know that often through delay are gifts received'
                    علي الحبشي

                    Comment


                    • Re: Should you get to know someone first or ask to see what they look like

                      Originally posted by Sirius View Post
                      thanks for letting me know. i appreciate it.
                      Errm not sure what to say to that

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                      • Re: Should you get to know someone first or ask to see what they look like

                        Originally posted by Sirius View Post
                        i'm not saying they're the same thing so putting it in a nicer way isn't the issue.
                        i'm saying they are different things but we may use it in a wrong way.
                        'Unattractive' and 'ugly' are not different terms, in my opinion. They both mean the same thing, and how they are used is based on people's perceptions and opinions, which vary. What one person finds 'ugly' aka 'unattractive', another person might find 'okay', or even 'beautiful' aka 'attractive.' Some people are offended by the term 'ugly' because of the way it sounds so saying something is 'unattractive' is a 'nicer' way of saying the same thing, or showing more respect to someone. But they both imply the same thing, I think.

                        'Ugly' is not more extreme than the word 'unattractive.' They're at the same level, because if you call someone 'unattractive,' you're still ruling out the fact that they are (physically) appealing.

                        To say someone or it's being used in a 'wrong' way is irrelevant because the term is relative to each individual, anyway.

                        This is my opinion, anyway. I gave it because it seemed like you asked for it...
                        Last edited by starrynight11; 24-12-14, 04:32 AM.
                        Life's actually pretty simple: you just have to enjoy it, pray, do good, refrain from bad, and respect others. Being Muslim is not a disadvantage or an advantage - it's a responsibility.
                        "So patiently persevere: for verily the promise of Allah is true" (Qur'an, Surah Ar-Rum - 30:60)

                        Comment


                        • Re: Should you get to know someone first or ask to see what they look like

                          Originally posted by starrynight11 View Post
                          'Unattractive' and 'ugly' are not different terms, in my opinion. They both mean the same thing, and how they are used is based on people's perceptions and opinions, which vary. What one person finds 'ugly' aka 'unattractive', another person might find 'okay', or even 'beautiful' aka 'attractive.' Some people are offended by the term 'ugly' because of the way it sounds so saying something is 'unattractive' is a 'nicer' way of saying the same thing, or showing more respect to someone. But they both imply the same thing, I think.

                          This is my opinion, anyway. I gave it because it seems like you asked for it...

                          Lol, debating over the meaning of a word...
                          i will repeat myself again, putting things in a nicer way is not the issue I am addressing.

                          but now that you've explained yourself, I get where you are coming from and can see how people view it that way.
                          'And when a thing for which you ask is slow to come,
                          Then know that often through delay are gifts received'
                          علي الحبشي

                          Comment


                          • Re: Should you get to know someone first or ask to see what they look like

                            Ok.

                            ---

                            Obviously though, no one should be told or hear from others that they are ugly (physically). It is hurtful, and at the end of the day, everyone has other qualities that make them as great as they are, and physical beauty is in the eye of the beholder. :insha:
                            Last edited by starrynight11; 24-12-14, 04:03 AM.
                            Life's actually pretty simple: you just have to enjoy it, pray, do good, refrain from bad, and respect others. Being Muslim is not a disadvantage or an advantage - it's a responsibility.
                            "So patiently persevere: for verily the promise of Allah is true" (Qur'an, Surah Ar-Rum - 30:60)

                            Comment


                            • Re: Should you get to know someone first or ask to see what they look like

                              Guys I think we should stop debating the word. It's obvious we'll always find someone ugly/unattractive to us-it's inevitable. It doesn't make you shallow or heartless, what does though is basing your decisions entirely on it and discriminating a person because of something they can't help. I don't agree with the statement that a person has to be attractive to you in order to like them though because like I've been trying to say all along there's situations where you completely ignore a persons looks and fall for another part of them that it completely overshadows the rest. True ugly is such a broad term since everyone's got a different perception but there's certain people who Allah created then that way. I like to think of it how some people were made wealthy and some poor,some clever, some dumb etc. Likewise there's people who Allah has blessed with looks and others not so much,Im not saying they're 100% ugly because one person may find them beautiful.

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                              • Re: Should you get to know someone first or ask to see what they look like

                                Originally posted by starrynight11 View Post
                                Ok.

                                But of course, no one should be told or hear from others that they are ugly (physically). It is hurtful, and at the end of the day, everyone has other qualities that make them as great as they are, and physical beauty is in the eye of the beholder. :insha:
                                Exactly,one quality shouldn't be focused on. It's not like you're gonna go up to a person and tell them but we keep it to ourselves. It's hard since we always make judgements whether we know it or not but we should train ourselves to see the best in people.

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