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brothers.... do ur research.

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  • Re: brothers.... do ur research.

    Originally posted by MAS93 View Post
    That is the case. Here is an example:

    My brother had 4 women to consider for marriage before going ahead that my parents told him were "family, home-type grils". One was STILL seeing her ex-boyfriend for sexual needs (wore an abaya and hijab too, but obvious from the paint bucket face that it was just a front). The other 3 had relationships in the past, not too long before coming for a proposition for my brother. My own assumption (which you can count or not, but you probably won't) is that there parents found out that they are not so "innocent" and decided to get them married before any other shameful act hits them. Now unless you want to tell me that this is just bad luck, bad timing or lies, that was ALL of the women that came to see my brother. All of them, I've known growing up and to find these things out was shocking for me, let alone my brother who has always practiced the Deen. This won't change the reality of the situation that stares you in the face.

    It's funny that statistically, the chances of a woman doing those acts are so high and yet, I'm supposed to defend my "Muslim sisters" because they don't want their feelings hurt (boo hoo). The few pockets of good sisters tend to look for brothers who are scholars, upright in every stage of life and fit the category of the "alpha male". Of course, that itself makes no sense in Islam but again, its another reality that Muslim men are faced with.

    I'm not here to play the judge, but I hate it when Muslim women tend to pretend they are these precious, pure Muslims and act like they are in line with the Ummahatul Mumineen (r.a) when they are nothing but trash, tools to a means for the future. They are responsible for the outlook men have towards them nowadays and they deserve the ill-treatment they recieve. It is obvious that the whole concept of a love-filled, happy marriage is long gone, thus rendering it only for the needs of sex and producing children. Lets at least keep that.
    I definitely agree with you! Though this is the harsh reality, at times you've gotta speak the truth without any sugar coating. Current reality of how deceived both sisters and brothers get is surreal. Never is the good and bad the same in Allah's sight! Honestly some of the stuff I read makes me throw up. Wallahul musta'anu 3alal mumineen.

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    • Re: brothers.... do ur research.

      Allah is the best Provider
      To despair is to sin
      Dont give up my comrades!
      Remember. When it gets the darkest, stars come out
      Please Please Please Make Dua for these [URL="http://www.ummah.com/forum/showthread.php?455964-Plz-Make-Dua-for-these-members&p=6715010&viewfull=1#post6715010"]Click Here[/URL] JazakAllahi

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      • Re: brothers.... do ur research.

        Originally posted by cdn_bro View Post
        Hijabi sleeping around? !
        Not a good combination of words. Please remove the word hijab.
        Please Please Please Make Dua for these [URL="http://www.ummah.com/forum/showthread.php?455964-Plz-Make-Dua-for-these-members&p=6715010&viewfull=1#post6715010"]Click Here[/URL] JazakAllahi

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        • Re: brothers.... do ur research.

          Originally posted by MAS93 View Post
          That is the case. Here is an example:

          My brother had 4 women to consider for marriage before going ahead that my parents told him were "family, home-type grils". One was STILL seeing her ex-boyfriend for sexual needs (wore an abaya and hijab too, but obvious from the paint bucket face that it was just a front). The other 3 had relationships in the past, not too long before coming for a proposition for my brother. My own assumption (which you can count or not, but you probably won't) is that there parents found out that they are not so "innocent" and decided to get them married before any other shameful act hits them. Now unless you want to tell me that this is just bad luck, bad timing or lies, that was ALL of the women that came to see my brother. All of them, I've known growing up and to find these things out was shocking for me, let alone my brother who has always practiced the Deen. This won't change the reality of the situation that stares you in the face.

          It's funny that statistically, the chances of a woman doing those acts are so high and yet, I'm supposed to defend my "Muslim sisters" because they don't want their feelings hurt (boo hoo). The few pockets of good sisters tend to look for brothers who are scholars, upright in every stage of life and fit the category of the "alpha male". Of course, that itself makes no sense in Islam but again, its another reality that Muslim men are faced with.

          I'm not here to play the judge, but I hate it when Muslim women tend to pretend they are these precious, pure Muslims and act like they are in line with the Ummahatul Mumineen (r.a) when they are nothing but trash, tools to a means for the future. They are responsible for the outlook men have towards them nowadays and they deserve the ill-treatment they recieve. It is obvious that the whole concept of a love-filled, happy marriage is long gone, thus rendering it only for the needs of sex and producing children. Lets at least keep that.
          Alright well then it's just as I thought, bad experience. But you have to realize again that there is a whole world out there, it could be that wherever you live the community is far less religious, or you did not look in the right places. If one looks in a garbage dump, what would they expect to find? I'm not saying everyone in any place will be terrible, but you need the right channels and some patience.

          I myself have looked in many places in several parts of the world, seen quite a number of people before actually getting married. Tbh all of them were perfectly good and nice people save one Arabic girl I spoke to residing in Malaysia who was very mean towards me for some reason, but even in that case no evidence of anything else was available. You can't say "I hate it when Muslim women..." because Muslim women at large aren't guilty for what some of their individuals do, and let's not kid ourselves, the males in these countries and our countries are hardly any better. It's a societal problem like many others, and like with all such problems, patience and advising where able to is the correct course of action. No use developing overly pessimistic or jaded points of view, it will just affect you negatively first and foremost and is simply not practical on an Islamic level. Put simply, "ain't nobody got time for that".
          والمبادرة إلى التكفير إنما تغلب على طباع من يغلب عليهم الجهل - ابن تيمية رحمه الله - بغية المرتاد

          "Rushing towards takfir is an attitude which is dominant over those who are defeated by ignorance." - Ibn Taymiyyah Rahimahullah [Bughyatul Murtaad, page 354]

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          • Re: brothers.... do ur research.

            Originally posted by MAS93 View Post
            That is the case. Here is an example:

            My brother had 4 women to consider for marriage before going ahead that my parents told him were "family, home-type grils". One was STILL seeing her ex-boyfriend for sexual needs (wore an abaya and hijab too, but obvious from the paint bucket face that it was just a front). The other 3 had relationships in the past, not too long before coming for a proposition for my brother. My own assumption (which you can count or not, but you probably won't) is that there parents found out that they are not so "innocent" and decided to get them married before any other shameful act hits them. Now unless you want to tell me that this is just bad luck, bad timing or lies, that was ALL of the women that came to see my brother. All of them, I've known growing up and to find these things out was shocking for me, let alone my brother who has always practiced the Deen. This won't change the reality of the situation that stares you in the face.

            It's funny that statistically, the chances of a woman doing those acts are so high and yet, I'm supposed to defend my "Muslim sisters" because they don't want their feelings hurt (boo hoo). The few pockets of good sisters tend to look for brothers who are scholars, upright in every stage of life and fit the category of the "alpha male". Of course, that itself makes no sense in Islam but again, its another reality that Muslim men are faced with.

            I'm not here to play the judge, but I hate it when Muslim women tend to pretend they are these precious, pure Muslims and act like they are in line with the Ummahatul Mumineen (r.a) when they are nothing but trash, tools to a means for the future. They are responsible for the outlook men have towards them nowadays and they deserve the ill-treatment they recieve. It is obvious that the whole concept of a love-filled, happy marriage is long gone, thus rendering it only for the needs of sex and producing children. Lets at least keep that.
            I understand your pain on this matter, but I don't feel your are being fair here rather it be a sister or brother. Not all sisters are like this and we shouldn't generalize them all in the same category. We also need to understand even our borthers/sister who commit these sins its because their deen isn't strong, not everyone is bought up in a strong household, some families emphasis on culture, some on pride, some on fame/reputation, etc this is the environment some brothers and sisters are raised in hence lack the knowledge and we see them drinking, clubbing/partying, dating, etc, even tho some families know of this they don't do anything about it much.

            You say when sisters who do this they deserve to be ill treated when in reality no one deserves to be ill treated, regardless we are all humans. You should also watch the words your throwing around, "trash" you are referring to allah (swt) creation as trash. We should not kick those who are down, but help them as there is a lot of reward for us.

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