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  • Married People-Valuable Advice?

    Assalamu alaikum

    I'm getting married in a few months InShaAllah and am feeling incredibly anxious.Are there any valuable pieces of advice you are able to give that may help me sustain the marriage? Any tips you wish you'd have heard or known? I'm also terrified of the notion of divorce so any advice regarding avoiding that would be great too.

    Other people may have some input if they have any advice to share too.

    Jazaakumullahu khayran

  • #2
    Re: Married People-Valuable Advice?

    Originally posted by InTwoMinds View Post
    Assalamu alaikum

    I'm getting married in a few months InShaAllah and am feeling incredibly anxious.Are there any valuable pieces of advice you are able to give that may help me sustain the marriage? Any tips you wish you'd have heard or known? I'm also terrified of the notion of divorce so any advice regarding avoiding that would be great too.

    Other people may have some input if they have any advice to share too.

    Jazaakumullahu khayran
    Forgiveness and patience.
    ".......He giveth and spendeth (of His bounty) as He pleaseth. But the revelation that cometh to thee from Allah increaseth in most of them (kuffar) their obstinate rebellion and blasphemy.Amongst them we have placed enmity and hatred till the Day of Judgment. Every time they kindle the fire of war, Allah doth extinguish it;but they (ever) strive to do mischief on earth. And Allah loveth not those who do mischief."(5:64)

    Comment


    • #3
      Re: Married People-Valuable Advice?

      Perish the thought of divorce in your mind , its too early to have that as an option. If your thinking of divorce before even getting married - I would advice you to seriously review your getting married. Entering a marriage with such thoughts will already start you off at a disadvantage. Now perish the thought!

      Be yourself. let him get to know the real you - not the pretence persona, as when the real you comes out - he isnt too shocked or surprised. If your practising sister, start off with traditions in your home that will be the way your family operates e.g. waking up together for fajr, reading quran together, eating together etc...oh, Eid and Ramadan personalised tradition - they make a home a home - if you get my drift.

      Be a pleasure to be around - when he comes home from a long day at work - Do not start nagging him about odd jobs or issues that could wait. It all depends on the man your marrying though..I personally, find once I come home after work, I need at least 30min of winding down time [and I am a female] imagine a man whom has had to swallow much of his ego out there..lol.

      Be playful, fun, laugh...when you need to cry, cry - your only human [ he has to see the side of you that is vulnerable]

      All in All - May Allah bless your up coming marriage- with all that is goodness of this duniya and akhira.
      Life creates alittle laughter and gives many reasons to cry; it gives a little but withholds far more

      Comment


      • #4
        Re: Married People-Valuable Advice?

        Originally posted by InTwoMinds View Post
        Assalamu alaikum

        I'm getting married in a few months InShaAllah and am feeling incredibly anxious.Are there any valuable pieces of advice you are able to give that may help me sustain the marriage? Any tips you wish you'd have heard or known? I'm also terrified of the notion of divorce so any advice regarding avoiding that would be great too.

        Other people may have some input if they have any advice to share too.

        Jazaakumullahu khayran
        I would advise to keep your past in the past as it can destroy a future relationship.

        And don't expect too much from your mrs

        and LISTEN to her. Read between the lines if you have to.

        Marraige is a marathon, not a sprint


        - sorry i thought OP was a Male

        in that case as snowflakes put it, forgive and have patience. And choose your battles wisely.
        Last edited by candyapple; 13-12-14, 04:48 PM.
        "If you are neutral in situations of injustice, you have chosen the side of the oppressor."

        "Nothing protects the rights of the minority like the tyranny of the majority"

        Comment


        • #5
          Re: Married People-Valuable Advice?

          Dont be too worried, he is most likely as anxious as you are.
          unconditional love for all of mankind.

          Comment


          • #6
            Re: Married People-Valuable Advice?

            Patience
            Compassion
            Compromise

            Don't let family and friends get involved in your marriage

            Being a veil for eachother. .protect his wealth and trust

            Importantly pray and learn together. Give to charity..Make dua for each other
            No Longer On UF

            Comment


            • #7
              Re: Married People-Valuable Advice?

              well dont ever put the phone down while shes talking to you on the phone then after 5mins coming back and saying, "hello"

              Comment


              • #8
                Re: Married People-Valuable Advice?

                Originally posted by InTwoMinds View Post
                Assalamu alaikum

                I'm getting married in a few months InShaAllah and am feeling incredibly anxious.Are there any valuable pieces of advice you are able to give that may help me sustain the marriage? Any tips you wish you'd have heard or known? I'm also terrified of the notion of divorce so any advice regarding avoiding that would be great too.

                Other people may have some input if they have any advice to share too.

                Jazaakumullahu khayran
                As someone above mentioned - forget about divorce. Walking into a marriage thinking about divorce is disastrous. You'll only be in a constant fear and never give 110% towards the marriage. So forget about it. Those things lie only in the hands of Allah.

                Don't hide things from your husband. Even if it's something simple and innocent. Don't give room got suspiciouns

                Most importantly - share a plate together sometimes. When you serve dinner even if its scrambled eggs, serve it on one big plate. It's amazing what sharing a plate can do - and keep doing it even in ten years time inshAllah

                Respect your husband. Don't try to over run him. Allah has given him the position of leader of your household.
                Pay attention to what pleases him and aim for that. And pay attention to what displeases him and avoid it. - please your husband and your please Allah. That's the ultimate goal.

                And one last thing - if he's fire, be water. Fire and fire just make a big fire and the whole place burn down. This is the not easy part but everyone will run into it. It's normal. Be water. Talk about the problem when he's done being fire
                Remember. If he is fire - be water ;)

                Congrats and may Allah bless your marriage and place between you love and mercy.
                Falling over toys....

                Comment


                • #9
                  Re: Married People-Valuable Advice?

                  Walaikum Assalam sister, all you need is to follow our Holy Prophet Mohammad (S.A.W) Sunnah, follow what all He said for married woman, reading and learning about Islam keeping you more attach to Allah and this is also He said to do. May Allah bless you marriage. Ameen.

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Re: Married People-Valuable Advice?

                    Great advice from people masha'Allah, especially the nagging bit!

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Re: Married People-Valuable Advice?

                      Originally posted by candyapple View Post
                      I would advise to keep your past in the past as it can destroy a future relationship.

                      And don't expect too much from your mrs

                      and LISTEN to her. Read between the lines if you have to.

                      Marraige is a marathon, not a sprint


                      - sorry i thought OP was a Male

                      in that case as snowflakes put it, forgive and have patience. And choose your battles wisely.
                      Pretty sure your initial advice was still valid even though OP is female.

                      For example...

                      And don't expect too much from your mr

                      and LISTEN to him. Read between the lines if you have to.

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        Re: Married People-Valuable Advice?

                        Originally posted by zi-zizou View Post
                        Pretty sure your initial advice was still valid even though OP is female.

                        For example...

                        And don't expect too much from your mr

                        and LISTEN to him. Read between the lines if you have to.

                        are you married? ;)
                        "If you are neutral in situations of injustice, you have chosen the side of the oppressor."

                        "Nothing protects the rights of the minority like the tyranny of the majority"

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          Re: Married People-Valuable Advice?

                          Originally posted by candyapple View Post
                          are you married? ;)
                          I am but it's not relevant in this instance.

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            Re: Married People-Valuable Advice?

                            Do what makes him happy.

                            Love and care for him.

                            Pray with him.

                            Have fun with him.

                            Make him chocolate pudding.

                            Seek refuge in Allah from the shaitaan as he could try to break up your marriage. He loves to break up marriages.

                            May Allah bless your future marriage. Ameen

                            :wswrwb:
                            Last edited by DaughterOfAdam; 16-12-14, 12:54 AM.

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              Re: Married People-Valuable Advice?

                              Originally posted by InTwoMinds View Post
                              Assalamu alaikum

                              I'm getting married in a few months InShaAllah and am feeling incredibly anxious.Are there any valuable pieces of advice you are able to give that may help me sustain the marriage? Any tips you wish you'd have heard or known? I'm also terrified of the notion of divorce so any advice regarding avoiding that would be great too.

                              Other people may have some input if they have any advice to share too.

                              Jazaakumullahu khayran
                              :wswrwb: ukthi,

                              Buy and read this book Ideal Muslimah

                              http://www.amazon.co.uk/The-Ideal-Mu.../dp/B0037J37MO

                              and also Buy Ideal Muslim for Husband,

                              http://www.amazon.co.uk/Ideal-Muslim...s=ideal+Muslim

                              brothers and sisters, I advise you to all do the same.

                              :jkk:
                              http://www.ilovepalestine.com/campai...imesinGaza.gif

                              "It does not befit the lion to answer the dogs."

                              – Imam al-Shafi’i (Rahimahullah)

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