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  • Engagement in Islam

    salam everyone : )

    is there engagement in islam? to my knowledge, engagement is just giving your word to the other family and saying you promise to marry her. i dont know if we follow the western custom where there is exchange of rings or what not. there is probably some exchange of gifts or something. what do u guys think?

  • #2
    Re: Engagement in Islam

    Originally posted by hassaan561 View Post
    salam everyone : )

    is there engagement in islam? to my knowledge, engagement is just giving your word to the other family and saying you promise to marry her. i dont know if we follow the western custom where there is exchange of rings or what not. there is probably some exchange of gifts or something. what do u guys think?
    Are you getting married
    Ya Allah,
    Make me a stronger person today. Make me a better person out of all these. It is no longer bearable for me for my heart is aching and You are the only One who knows how I feel. Nothing is making sense to myself and for anyone else for that matter especially to the one person I wish to understand me better than anybody else.
    "Don't use the sharpness of your tongue on the mother who taught you how to speak

    Comment


    • #3
      Re: Engagement in Islam

      Originally posted by Hanasaeed View Post
      Are you getting married
      inshallah. things are going pretty good with her. we've both said yes. now just waiting on the adults to figure it out.

      Comment


      • #4
        Re: Engagement in Islam

        Congratulations! :)

        Comment


        • #5
          Re: Engagement in Islam

          Wasalam brother

          Congratulations, may Allah make it easy for both of you and may you have a lovely long happy married life, ameen.

          Comment


          • #6
            Re: Engagement in Islam

            Engagement inislam is as you said just about a word being given, but it can be broken at any time before the nikah is signed for whatever reason by one or both parties.

            If you get engaged using a more western based method such as engagement rings and parties as well as inviting loads of family members, it makes a breaking of an engagement all the more hurtful and 'embarassing' for one or both parties. So i'd personally avoid exchanging rings etc. ubtil the nikah is signed and she's your wife.

            In fact, its a good idea to also keep the nikah months in advance of the wedding and on a small scale, then begin planning a wedding because that's just a formal celebration more than anything. Islamically your married. However, the issue you have and I HATE the idea of is 'adults are hashing out details' because it basically takes all control out of your own hands to talk to.them. So maybe tell your parents to see if they can swing some things your way rather than let the girls family dictate everything.

            That's one thing that kind of annoyed me when I asked my mum and sisters. They emphasise that basically the girls family should hold all the decision making power just because she says 'yes' and you should get marginalised. Hell no. Insha'Allah gonna be more a dialogue.
            I write novels for posts. Beware. :mujahida:

            Ummah Forum seems pretty black and white. Was thinking of offering Skittles as Dawah to introduce a rainbow.

            Comment


            • #7
              Re: Engagement in Islam

              Originally posted by Constant Hope View Post
              Engagement inislam is as you said just about a word being given, but it can be broken at any time before the nikah is signed for whatever reason by one or both parties.

              If you get engaged using a more western based method such as engagement rings and parties as well as inviting loads of family members, it makes a breaking of an engagement all the more hurtful and 'embarassing' for one or both parties. So i'd personally avoid exchanging rings etc. ubtil the nikah is signed and she's your wife.

              In fact, its a good idea to also keep the nikah months in advance of the wedding and on a small scale, then begin planning a wedding because that's just a formal celebration more than anything. Islamically your married. However, the issue you have and I HATE the idea of is 'adults are hashing out details' because it basically takes all control out of your own hands to talk to.them. So maybe tell your parents to see if they can swing some things your way rather than let the girls family dictate everything.

              That's one thing that kind of annoyed me when I asked my mum and sisters. They emphasise that basically the girls family should hold all the decision making power just because she says 'yes' and you should get marginalised. Hell no. Insha'Allah gonna be more a dialogue.
              ya i've told her what i want and i've listened to what she wants. we're both flexible so we dont have to have it our way. u have to be open and communicate and find a middle ground. what i meant by adults was that we've said yes, but i cant go to her house alone and talk to her about all the details and what to do next. i have to go with my parents and they will talk to her parents. but they still will know what we want and when because we have future plans too and they must allign with the wedding date etc. so i'm sure it would be open. if one party is very specific or must have it their way then there can be problems but i think both of us are pretty open and flexible which is good.

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              • #8
                Re: Engagement in Islam

                :)
                Last edited by dizzyfish; 22-02-15, 04:24 AM.

                Comment


                • #9
                  Re: Engagement in Islam

                  Originally posted by dizzyfish View Post
                  Congratulations bro, have you asked her 'the' question yet?
                  hahaha NO. i was gonna make a post about it and how i view the whole past thing now. she didnt ask me either. i can kind of assume based on how she was raised, her values, her character, how she dresses, how she thinks etc. so i don't think it's necessary. sometimes ignorance truly is bliss.

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                  • #10
                    Re: Engagement in Islam

                    :)
                    Last edited by dizzyfish; 22-02-15, 04:24 AM.

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Re: Engagement in Islam

                      Originally posted by hassaan561 View Post
                      hahaha NO. i was gonna make a post about it and how i view the whole past thing now. she didnt ask me either. i can kind of assume based on how she was raised, her values, her character, how she dresses, how she thinks etc. so i don't think it's necessary. sometimes ignorance truly is bliss.
                      Leave the past where it is. Take her as she was when you met her. Its her own thing to repent from if anything happened. Your right, ignorance can be bliss. Just in some cases it can also bite you back if a person still has those poor traits that will cause a problem.again in marrid.life. Usually we avoid this by asking the right question.

                      Just read istikhara and Insha'Allah everything will go fine.
                      I write novels for posts. Beware. :mujahida:

                      Ummah Forum seems pretty black and white. Was thinking of offering Skittles as Dawah to introduce a rainbow.

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        Re: Engagement in Islam

                        Originally posted by Constant Hope View Post
                        Leave the past where it is. Take her as she was when you met her. Its her own thing to repent from if anything happened. Your right, ignorance can be bliss. Just in some cases it can also bite you back if a person still has those poor traits that will cause a problem.again in marrid.life. Usually we avoid this by asking the right question.

                        Just read istikhara and Insha'Allah everything will go fine.
                        ya i try to see how she is now and in recent past. and if i'm happy with that person, then i'm good. no need to go in too much detail or ask weird questions.

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          Re: Engagement in Islam

                          Do you know how happy I am - that is what i like to see on ummah, Allah bless you both, inshaAllah it works out.
                          إقراء القران فإنه يأتي يوم القيامة شفيعا لأصحابه

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                          • #14
                            Re: Engagement in Islam

                            Originally posted by iRepIslam View Post
                            Do you know how happy I am - that is what i like to see on ummah, Allah bless you both, inshaAllah it works out.
                            sis its your turn to get married now lol
                            Ya Allah,
                            Make me a stronger person today. Make me a better person out of all these. It is no longer bearable for me for my heart is aching and You are the only One who knows how I feel. Nothing is making sense to myself and for anyone else for that matter especially to the one person I wish to understand me better than anybody else.
                            "Don't use the sharpness of your tongue on the mother who taught you how to speak

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              Re: Engagement in Islam

                              Originally posted by iRepIslam View Post
                              Do you know how happy I am - that is what i like to see on ummah, Allah bless you both, inshaAllah it works out.
                              aww thanks sis. it means a lot : )

                              Comment

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