:salams
Brothers & Sisters...
Let me discuss with you a real time situation.
I have a friend, good one. Yesterday when I met him, his voice was quite hoarse. When asked, he was reluctant but started discussing, I guess to have my opinion...
I will mention in his words, almost. So he started....
Yesterday, after dinner, I was sitting with my family, wife, kids, mother, brother, sister.... When only mother & wife remained on dinner table, mother (assuming that my bad mood is due to some argument mother n wife had before) started to tell wife to do whatever u want, I dont need any of your help, etc. etc... To which I didnt say anything at first but then when arguments started, I said that the problem wasnt any.
Anyhow, during arguments b/w wife n mother, my brother (younger btw) came & asked me to stop treating the mother in this way, ask ur wife to talk with respect to mother, etc.
At which, I lost my temper & started shouting (like a mad man) that he shud mind his own business & she is my mother as well... & I am resolving the matter between us 3, so he is no place to interfer... bro said he is listening for a while now & it shud stop, u shud tell ur wife to behave.. Which further ignited me, I said if I dont interfer the way u talk to our mother then its not ur right to speak here & esp. abt my wife !!! I shud die so that all the mess remains for u all to handle. U r my mother & If im not entitled to speak to u then after my death u shud throw my wife n kids on streets coz they r nothing to anyone here !!!
(I thought to write this all in caps but im just underlining the shouted part...)
Mom kept trying to calm us both.... I sent my wife in our room & kept shouting to mom that I WILL do whatever i want to talk to u , its no one's business to speak in between. & only my parents can talk to my wife this way, NO ONE else... !!!
Later, after I get calm (voice wise) but still enraged, I inquired abt the start of discussion. As mentioned, mother assumed wife's bad mood have something to do with our fight (my mood was bad when I came to eat..) SO i told her that if u were concerned abt my mood then y didnt u ask me? I wud've told u even the reason of our fight. WHy have u assumed ?????? This all wudn't have happened. Me n brother wudnt have argued & what seemed like a clear break of ties, cud be saved.....
Brother also said, ur wife knows how much I respect her, but this is not acceptable. to which I said, its my position to tell her, not urs ! I am handling my issues so u shud've been kept away in this issue...
Now I know I didnt say any wrong to my mother OR my brother, but I regret of speaking to my mother in a highest volume I have ever spoken to anyone in my life.... I was enraged to such an extent that I really wished to have an attack or something of either heart or mind to somehow rest & end this....
2ndly, my daughter sitting there started crying silently... that broke me further.
3rdly, whatever moods, I really dont want to end all relation with my brother... I know hemight need me (coz of his friends) but I need him, all my family....
Later, I told mom that wife will cook separately. I will tell wife that not to speak with brother again.
In room, told wife the same. then held my daughter & discussed & apologized the anger..... we both were crying at that time...
Heavy stuff, atleast for me. I cud see tears in his eyes.... the reason of voice was clear now.
I really havent have any opinion or words to calm him. Coz he did OK in trying to resolve the pb with his wife n mother, all hell broke loose when his bro. interfered. He was asking my op & i was thinking what am I suppose to suggest....
I just said that do apologize to his mother & if his brother is ok in speaking with him, dont hold the grudge.... just let bygones be bygones... but if he dont, then u cant do anything. Have I mentioned his father died many years ago...
he told that his mom is OK with him. but underline, u never know how much she is hurt....
His mother told him previously that the wife sometimes is hurtful in her comments & dealings towards the mother.... the wife's attitude (towards him, not towards his mother) however was the part what they were fighting before coming to dinner .....
Will try to console him & discuss some more to see if everything OK at there..
Soooo, what is ur take on all this ?
:jkk:
Brothers & Sisters...
Let me discuss with you a real time situation.
I have a friend, good one. Yesterday when I met him, his voice was quite hoarse. When asked, he was reluctant but started discussing, I guess to have my opinion...
I will mention in his words, almost. So he started....
Yesterday, after dinner, I was sitting with my family, wife, kids, mother, brother, sister.... When only mother & wife remained on dinner table, mother (assuming that my bad mood is due to some argument mother n wife had before) started to tell wife to do whatever u want, I dont need any of your help, etc. etc... To which I didnt say anything at first but then when arguments started, I said that the problem wasnt any.
Anyhow, during arguments b/w wife n mother, my brother (younger btw) came & asked me to stop treating the mother in this way, ask ur wife to talk with respect to mother, etc.
At which, I lost my temper & started shouting (like a mad man) that he shud mind his own business & she is my mother as well... & I am resolving the matter between us 3, so he is no place to interfer... bro said he is listening for a while now & it shud stop, u shud tell ur wife to behave.. Which further ignited me, I said if I dont interfer the way u talk to our mother then its not ur right to speak here & esp. abt my wife !!! I shud die so that all the mess remains for u all to handle. U r my mother & If im not entitled to speak to u then after my death u shud throw my wife n kids on streets coz they r nothing to anyone here !!!
(I thought to write this all in caps but im just underlining the shouted part...)
Mom kept trying to calm us both.... I sent my wife in our room & kept shouting to mom that I WILL do whatever i want to talk to u , its no one's business to speak in between. & only my parents can talk to my wife this way, NO ONE else... !!!
Later, after I get calm (voice wise) but still enraged, I inquired abt the start of discussion. As mentioned, mother assumed wife's bad mood have something to do with our fight (my mood was bad when I came to eat..) SO i told her that if u were concerned abt my mood then y didnt u ask me? I wud've told u even the reason of our fight. WHy have u assumed ?????? This all wudn't have happened. Me n brother wudnt have argued & what seemed like a clear break of ties, cud be saved.....
Brother also said, ur wife knows how much I respect her, but this is not acceptable. to which I said, its my position to tell her, not urs ! I am handling my issues so u shud've been kept away in this issue...
Now I know I didnt say any wrong to my mother OR my brother, but I regret of speaking to my mother in a highest volume I have ever spoken to anyone in my life.... I was enraged to such an extent that I really wished to have an attack or something of either heart or mind to somehow rest & end this....
2ndly, my daughter sitting there started crying silently... that broke me further.
3rdly, whatever moods, I really dont want to end all relation with my brother... I know hemight need me (coz of his friends) but I need him, all my family....
Later, I told mom that wife will cook separately. I will tell wife that not to speak with brother again.
In room, told wife the same. then held my daughter & discussed & apologized the anger..... we both were crying at that time...
Heavy stuff, atleast for me. I cud see tears in his eyes.... the reason of voice was clear now.
I really havent have any opinion or words to calm him. Coz he did OK in trying to resolve the pb with his wife n mother, all hell broke loose when his bro. interfered. He was asking my op & i was thinking what am I suppose to suggest....
I just said that do apologize to his mother & if his brother is ok in speaking with him, dont hold the grudge.... just let bygones be bygones... but if he dont, then u cant do anything. Have I mentioned his father died many years ago...
he told that his mom is OK with him. but underline, u never know how much she is hurt....
His mother told him previously that the wife sometimes is hurtful in her comments & dealings towards the mother.... the wife's attitude (towards him, not towards his mother) however was the part what they were fighting before coming to dinner .....
Will try to console him & discuss some more to see if everything OK at there..
Soooo, what is ur take on all this ?
:jkk:
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