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Regret for refusing marriage proposal

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  • Regret for refusing marriage proposal


  • #2
    Re: Regret for refusing marriage proposal

    :salams: Ukhti,

    You're not alone.

    Some people have even done worse than you. Don't be too hard on yourself and don't obsess over this.

    We all make mistakes. We regret things after making a choice because that's just it: we're human beings. We make mistakes, we fear the Unseen and unknown, and sometimes we can't decide what's best for us. All we can do is repent, learn from our mistakes, move on and trust in Allah . That's all we should do.

    While waiting for your future spouse, perfect yourself for the sake of Allah. Pray, read Qur'an, spend time doing things you enjoy doing, hang out with good Muslim friends and family, have a few good laughs here and there. Life is temporary - why waste it feeling sorry for yourself like this? Especially over things that have happened in the past?

    You've rejected a few proposals. If they're meant to be yours, they'll come back to you. If they're not, then you will find someone better at the right time, :insha:. Allah is the Best of Planners and His timing is perfect.

    Don't despair, Sister.

    Allah knows who you are, what is inside your heart, and what is best for you. Allah loves you. Just trust in Him and move on. Make plenty of du'a to Allah , too. In the remembrance of Allah, hearts find rest.
    Last edited by starrynight11; 02-12-14, 11:17 PM.
    Life's actually pretty simple: you just have to enjoy it, pray, do good, refrain from bad, and respect others. Being Muslim is not a disadvantage or an advantage - it's a responsibility.
    "So patiently persevere: for verily the promise of Allah is true" (Qur'an, Surah Ar-Rum - 30:60)

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    • #3
      Re: Regret for refusing marriage proposal

      Sister you will get married when Allah wants you to get married. Just be patient and Allah will forgive you
      Ya Allah,
      Make me a stronger person today. Make me a better person out of all these. It is no longer bearable for me for my heart is aching and You are the only One who knows how I feel. Nothing is making sense to myself and for anyone else for that matter especially to the one person I wish to understand me better than anybody else.
      "Don't use the sharpness of your tongue on the mother who taught you how to speak

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      • #4
        Re: Regret for refusing marriage proposal

        soz
        Last edited by Hadid; 02-12-14, 11:48 PM.

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        • #5
          Re: Regret for refusing marriage proposal

          Originally posted by Hadid View Post
          "I know it's also my parents fault..."

          Ok I stopped reading here. Stop blaming others for your own screw-ups.
          Don't be mean bro. You never know the condition of the person behind the screen name.

          Sister sounds quite upset. Make dua for her in sha Allah.
          Believe none of what you hear, and only half of what you see.

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          • #6
            Re: Regret for refusing marriage proposal

            Have you tried doing ruqiya?

            Sometimes these bad things are a result of somebody doing black magic, especially if no real rationale reasons seem to present themselves in some cases as to why you'd sabotage etc. or quarrel with people.

            Do dua, try and re-connect through salah and Insha'Allah you'll soon be presented with the spouse written for you. Also, maybe re-adjust your life goals to reflect where your at and what is realistic. Ususlly helps.
            I write novels for posts. Beware. :mujahida:

            Ummah Forum seems pretty black and white. Was thinking of offering Skittles as Dawah to introduce a rainbow.

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            • #7
              Re: Regret for refusing marriage proposal

              You will get married soon inshallah

              Just don't make your standards so high, if a man comes with good deen, and you are both somewhat compatible, marry him
              unconditional love for all of mankind.

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              • #8
                Re: Regret for refusing marriage proposal

                Assalamualaikum sister,
                You shouldn't worry over old proposals, they were just not meant to be. Marriage is one of those predestined relationships and whoever is not in your qadr can never be yours and whoever is, will come to be inshaAllah. Sometimes you don't even realise and things happen or come from where you were least expecting it. There is no dream guy out there, even if you do find the perfect looking guy, it is not necessary that he will be good to you. You have made your mistakes in the past of picking and choosing because in your youth you had all the guys but now you don't have that luxury of youth. However that doesn't mean you jump into marriage with anyone willy nilly. Do your istikhara, see how you feel, consult with your parents, speak to the guy a few times, if he is genuinely nice and islamic minded then see if you can see yourself building feelings for him.
                When you decide something, you stick to your decision. At that time you made those decisions, now you have to move on from it and not live in the past because the more you imagine what could have been etc, the worse your life becomes. Live in the moment, see how this guys seems, if you really don't like him then move on. Don't marry him then ruin his life by thinking about other guys while he is the sweet guy who looks after you. That would be heartbreaking for him. If you go into it, go into it with your heart open to him and closed to the past otherwise it is not fair on him.
                Also don't look at other people, you don't know what happens behind closed doors, everyone puts on a smile for others and in pictures to stick up on facebook etc. The worlds a stage..... as Shakespeare said. Look for your own happiness and don't look at what other people have. You said you pray to Allah a lot, Allah will not abandon you so never feel upset or alone. Just be mature and realistic about marriage inshaAllah. May Allah make it easy for you sister. Aameen
                The Messenger of Allah, peace and blessings be upon him, said, "You must be gentle. Verily, gentleness is not in anything except that it beautifies it, and it is not removed from anything except that it disgraces it."

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                • #9
                  Re: Regret for refusing marriage proposal

                  Originally posted by shann View Post
                  You will get married soon inshallah

                  Just don't make your standards so high, if a man comes with good deen, and you are both somewhat compatible, marry him
                  I think she's past that stage. The issue is having regrets and constantly comparing potentials to past proposals. Not really fair on the guy who she does end up marrying.

                  It's a mental state that's not that easy to get rid off.
                  A Fast Growing Islamic Search Website -

                  www.Searching-Islam.com

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                  • #10
                    Re: Regret for refusing marriage proposal

                    dont get too upset

                    i dont know if this is gonna sound insensitive

                    but you should think ...it was never really yours in the first place so in reality you havent lost anything

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                    • #11
                      Re: Regret for refusing marriage proposal

                      May Allah bless you all. Jazak'Allah Khair to all for taking time to read. I checked all your post and felt much better. And I agree I guess I need some therapy.

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                      • #12
                        Re: Regret for refusing marriage proposal

                        Originally posted by Rabia123456 View Post
                        May Allah bless you all. Jazak'Allah Khair to all for taking time to read. I checked all your post and felt much better. And I agree I guess I need some therapy.
                        Are you in US?

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                        • #13
                          Re: Regret for refusing marriage proposal

                          Get someone from back home. You will many options since u got the visa they seek so desperately.

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                          • #14
                            Re: Regret for refusing marriage proposal

                            Best thing to do.. Look forward to the future and don't dwell on the past - Time heals everything :)

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                            • #15
                              Re: Regret for refusing marriage proposal

                              I am looking at picture and looking at people who had the perfect marriage and got what they wanted. I am seeing people a regular people who like me didn’t do mistake and did marry that good looking doctor or lawyer.
                              My dear sister, I think what's affecting you more than anything else is the mentality of marrying a "doctor or lawyer". You do not necessarily have to marry a doctor or lawyer to have a successful marriage. Sure, that would mean financial stability but you can still be financially stable with other jobs. I think it's more important for you to marry a man that you can *trust* would put bread on the table, whether he has a great job or not. People can actually become redundant in the workplace so you have to be able to trust him to fulfil his role. That is the kind of man you should seek- not someone who happens to have a certain job right now.

                              To solely choose a life partner based on the way he looks and the job he does is in my honest opinion, a wee bit shallow. I don't think he needs to look like a knight in shining armour and have the best paid job in order to be the best life partner for you. As long as you find him attractive and he is committed to working hard, that should suffice. If you carry on searching for this Mr Ideal, you might be waiting for.... forever? Lol

                              I also think you should consider the current proposal but at the same time, don't feel compelled to accept it if you don't feel right. If his character and Deen are good and overall you think he would be a compatible life partner, you should go ahead with that, imo. As for the past proposals, you should forget about them and move on with your life. You can't dwell into how things went wrong/right. You should work on your relationship with Allah (as we all should) and should keep praying for the best and put your trust in Allah. Believe that He will give you the best for you insha Allah at the best time for you.
                              ~‘And He will provide him from (sources) he could never imagine. And whoever puts their trust in Allah, then He will suffice him. Verily, Allah will accomplish His purpose. Indeed, Allah has set a measure for all things.’~ - سورة الطلاق : 3

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