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The importance of having a wali

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  • The importance of having a wali

    :salams:

    Just a reminder. I also feel people are abandoning this 'method'.

    If you are seriously considering marriage. The correct way to go about this is to inform your parents. I understand some may feel shy, I also understand your parents may think you are 'besharam' which means shameless in Urdu or Hindi (I have to use this word as it's a common word misused).

    Shameless is when you purposely try to get attention from a man (a non mahram) by using your beauty or your voice (the 'soft' voice, you know what I'm talking about, no one is dumb, we all have common sense lol) or any other haram means. That is clearly shameless and not fit for a Muslim woman. Correct me if I'm wrong.

    We can be manipulated. No matter how intelligent you may be. The devil's whispers are real. Emotions are real but deceiving. Don't underestimate these kind of situations.

    If you search online, make sure you have someone overlooking you messages and don't speak to the potential directly. This will help to keep things neutral and prevent you getting attached.

    If you don't have any male members in your family. This can be tricky. I would suggest tell your mum or a close family member. Keep you family involved in these matters, never go on a hunt yourself this is just asking for trouble. Your mum may know friends or relatives. Let her inform others. Contact your local mosque and ask them for help. Don't feel like you have to suffer in silence, tell your mum that you are interested in marriage. She gave birth to you, no need to be embarrassed. :-)

    Most importantly, educate yourself on Islamic marriages. Read the stories of our prophet nabi :saw: There is more to marriage than simply fulfilling your desires.

    I hope that was helpful?

    :jkk:
    'Whatever it be wherein ye differ, the decision thereof is with Allah: such is Allah my Lord: In Him I trust, and to Him I turn.' The Holy Qu'ran Al Shura (Consultation)

    So, which of the favours of your lord will you deny? ~ Surah Ar Rahman

  • #2
    Re: The importance of having a wali

    Wa alaykum assalam wa rakhmatullahi wa barakatu

    Jazakallah, very good post mashallah

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    • #3
      Re: The importance of having a wali

      Yep, I agree the wali is important.

      I'm close with my dad, and I can talk to him about anything marriage-related. He's also been involved in my marriage talks :)

      :wswrwb:
      Last edited by DaughterOfAdam; 21-11-14, 10:34 PM.

      Comment


      • #4
        The importance of having a wali

        :jkk: :wswrwb:
        The Messenger of Allah Ô∑ļ said: ‚ÄúIt will be said to the companion of the Qur‚Äôan: ‚ÄėRead, and ascend, and recite as you used to recite in the [previous] world, for your status will be according to the last verse that you recite.‚Äô‚ÄĚ [At-Tirmidhi (2914) and Abu Dawood (1464)]

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        • #5
          Re: The importance of having a wali

          What about a woman whose father is dead and brother is younger than she is and otherwise she considers her immature and troublesome ?

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          • #6
            Re: The importance of having a wali

            Originally posted by SilverSoul View Post
            What about a woman whose father is dead and brother is younger than she is and otherwise she considers her immature and troublesome ?
            The lost is long, after the father it's grand father and then brothers, then uncles from dads side, and it goes on...

            Comment


            • #7
              Re: The importance of having a wali

              Some people try this method and after it fails, they have to find an alternative.

              Comment


              • #8
                Re: The importance of having a wali

                Originally posted by مسلمة View Post
                Some people try this method and after it fails, they have to find an alternative.
                What method r u referring too,

                Comment


                • #9
                  Re: The importance of having a wali

                  Originally posted by DaughterOfAdam View Post
                  Yep, I agree the wali is important.

                  I'm close with my dad, and I can talk to him about anything marriage-related. He's also been involved in my marriage talks :)

                  :wswrwb:
                  Right from the beginning ?????
                  Ibnul Qayyim رحمه الله said: "Donít ruin your happiness with worry, and donít ruin your mind with pessimism. Donít ruin your success with deception and donít ruin the optimism of others by destroying it. Donít ruin your day by looking back at yesterday.
                  __________________________________________________ _____________________________
                  If you think about your situation, you will find that Allaah (سبحانه وتعالى) has given you things without asking, so have trust in Allaah (سبحانه وتعالى) that He doesnít prevent anything you want except there is goodness for you.

                  You could be sleeping and the doors of the heavens are being opened with duaías being made on your behalf, SubhanAllaah: perhaps from someone poor whom you helped, or someone sad whom you brought joy, or someone passing by and you smiled at him, or someone in distress and you removed it.. so donít ever underestimate any good deeds."



                  please donate to the Ummah forum sadaqa jariya project. Click on the link for for more information, and to make a donation- https://www.justgiving.com/sadaqah-jariyah-project/

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Re: The importance of having a wali

                    :jkk: for the reminder
                    Ibnul Qayyim رحمه الله said: "Donít ruin your happiness with worry, and donít ruin your mind with pessimism. Donít ruin your success with deception and donít ruin the optimism of others by destroying it. Donít ruin your day by looking back at yesterday.
                    __________________________________________________ _____________________________
                    If you think about your situation, you will find that Allaah (سبحانه وتعالى) has given you things without asking, so have trust in Allaah (سبحانه وتعالى) that He doesnít prevent anything you want except there is goodness for you.

                    You could be sleeping and the doors of the heavens are being opened with duaías being made on your behalf, SubhanAllaah: perhaps from someone poor whom you helped, or someone sad whom you brought joy, or someone passing by and you smiled at him, or someone in distress and you removed it.. so donít ever underestimate any good deeds."



                    please donate to the Ummah forum sadaqa jariya project. Click on the link for for more information, and to make a donation- https://www.justgiving.com/sadaqah-jariyah-project/

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Re: The importance of having a wali

                      Originally posted by Muslima London View Post
                      Right from the beginning ?????
                      Right from the beginning of what? lol

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        Re: The importance of having a wali

                        Originally posted by DaughterOfAdam View Post
                        Right from the beginning of what? lol
                        right from the beginning of your forum marriage to be???
                        Ibnul Qayyim رحمه الله said: "Donít ruin your happiness with worry, and donít ruin your mind with pessimism. Donít ruin your success with deception and donít ruin the optimism of others by destroying it. Donít ruin your day by looking back at yesterday.
                        __________________________________________________ _____________________________
                        If you think about your situation, you will find that Allaah (سبحانه وتعالى) has given you things without asking, so have trust in Allaah (سبحانه وتعالى) that He doesnít prevent anything you want except there is goodness for you.

                        You could be sleeping and the doors of the heavens are being opened with duaías being made on your behalf, SubhanAllaah: perhaps from someone poor whom you helped, or someone sad whom you brought joy, or someone passing by and you smiled at him, or someone in distress and you removed it.. so donít ever underestimate any good deeds."



                        please donate to the Ummah forum sadaqa jariya project. Click on the link for for more information, and to make a donation- https://www.justgiving.com/sadaqah-jariyah-project/

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          Re: The importance of having a wali

                          Originally posted by مسلمة View Post
                          Some people try this method and after it fails, they have to find an alternative.
                          :salams:

                          Do you mind sharing what the alternative routes normally are?

                          :jkk:

                          Silversoul, if you think your brother is immature, have your mum with him? m7md makes a good point. I know it's difficult but, whatever you do, do not go and search yourself and talk to a non mahram direct.

                          I wish you all the best and may Allah swt make it easier for you- Ameen
                          'Whatever it be wherein ye differ, the decision thereof is with Allah: such is Allah my Lord: In Him I trust, and to Him I turn.' The Holy Qu'ran Al Shura (Consultation)

                          So, which of the favours of your lord will you deny? ~ Surah Ar Rahman

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            Re: The importance of having a wali

                            Originally posted by m7md View Post
                            What method r u referring too,
                            Of informing the wali and letting them deal with it all (or not deal with it as the case may be).

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              Re: The importance of having a wali

                              Originally posted by مسلمة View Post
                              Of informing the wali and letting them deal with it all (or not deal with it as the case may be).
                              It's more then a system it's a sharia requirement, u cannot just change anything in Islam u don't like,

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