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  • Lying husband

    Dear brothers and sisters,

    I need both your advice, especially from those with experience. Maybe you have been a lying husband as well but hamdulillah changed or maybe a sister has experience with a lying husband, I hope you're doing well now insaAllah.

    Well, I have been married for 1 year and 7 months today. And since day one my husband lied to me and it is killing me. An example is today he said he would be home later from work because he had to drive from far, but (unfortunately) I trace his iPhone and I could see he was in the city and on his way to a coffeeshop, probably to buy weed. And so there are more of these kind of lies.

    Please I would like to get some advice or any thoughts from others, since I cannot discuss this with anyone and my heart is getting full and is screaming to release my thoughts.

  • #2
    Re: Lying husband

    I know a woman who was married for a year. In the beginning everything was good, husband was described nice. And when they started living together, all bad habits started to came out. And he was lying about everything, maybe even committing zina. He has many female friends who he hanged out with, good facebook friends, when he lied he didn't have facebook. Even though the woman tried to fix this relationship she gave up in the end and divorced.

    We don't know the whole story. But try to fix the relationship and try to talk to him. If you make every effort for couple months and there's no result, then I would demand a divorce. I don't know how old you are, but I know it is difficult either way.

    If you are unhappy and doing every effort to keep this relationship a float, and he doesn't make any effort nor care, then you shouldn't burden yourself with this misery.

    I know many people will say I am stupid and ignorant and something else for encouraging divorce. But that's my honest opinions. If I had problems in marriage, I would do my very best to solve them if she doesn't make any effort then what am I suppose to do. Live in misery for rest of my life, trying and hoping something to change? EVERY HUMAN HAS IT'S LIMITS.

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    • #3
      Re: Lying husband

      Originally posted by SKSKSK View Post
      Dear brothers and sisters,

      I need both your advice, especially from those with experience. Maybe you have been a lying husband as well but hamdulillah changed or maybe a sister has experience with a lying husband, I hope you're doing well now insaAllah.

      Well, I have been married for 1 year and 7 months today. And since day one my husband lied to me and it is killing me. An example is today he said he would be home later from work because he had to drive from far, but (unfortunately) I trace his iPhone and I could see he was in the city and on his way to a coffeeshop, probably to buy weed. And so there are more of these kind of lies.

      Please I would like to get some advice or any thoughts from others, since I cannot discuss this with anyone and my heart is getting full and is screaming to release my thoughts.
      salaams to all

      did u not know he smokes weed before u married him?

      first- i hope u are regular & punctual with your daily salaah
      make lots of duaah & lots of taubah for your sins

      everything is in the control of Allah ta'ala
      if we obey him, he will give us good & peaceful conditions in our life

      cant u speak to his parents?
      or yours?
      or someone senior & PIOUS in the family who will make your husband pay attention & begin acting responsibly?

      if we want to lead our lives as we please & neglect our duties to Allah ta'ala
      then its inevitable that we will make bad choices & run into LOTS of problems
      and its ONLY when were deep in problems that we even think to turn to Allah ta'ala
      (speaking generally-not referring to u specifically)

      its always wise to keep the company of the pious & consult them in every move we make.


      and Allah ta'ala knows best
      jazakalah
      Sufyaan Thawri "Whoever is very popular with his relations and neighbours, we suspect him to be compromising in preaching the true teachings of religion."
      very good site for English bayaans in MP3 format-check it out- u wont be disappointed: http://www.musjidnoor.za.net/index.html & http://alhaadi.org.za/majlis-program...downloads.html

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      • #4
        Re: Lying husband

        You should speak to a iman, they are more knowledgeable and they will give you a lot of support. Just make dua, amd if nothing works out then....
        Ya Allah,
        Make me a stronger person today. Make me a better person out of all these. It is no longer bearable for me for my heart is aching and You are the only One who knows how I feel. Nothing is making sense to myself and for anyone else for that matter especially to the one person I wish to understand me better than anybody else.
        "Don't use the sharpness of your tongue on the mother who taught you how to speak

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        • #5
          Re: Lying husband

          Im getting to be what some may consider an old man.

          You learn a few things as time goes by, you learn what to do, mostly you learn what not to do, you learn a lot about people. You keep your mouth closed but you keep your eyes open, you get more sensitive to what people mean and really feel, not what people are saying. You learn to spot ( insert insult) a mile away.

          And I can tell you this, liars never change, not ever. They are broken human beings that cant be fixed, pity them, then get them out of your life, they are destructive and they just cant help it and they wouldn't change if they could because they just don't care about others.

          When they tell you they are sorry, they will change, give them a chance, please, oh please one more chance, you are heartless if you dont give me a chance, you have to know this. They are trying to manipulate you to act in a way that benefits them.

          To act in a way, that benefits them.

          And if you do give in, give them another chance they see it is a victory, it makes them happy, they win. And they will carry on in just the way they did before, they may be a bit more sneaky, a bit more careful, to them its just a game.

          And they never change, not for you, not for anyone.

          Move on, find a genuine person, you cant fix broken people.
          ''....And from the best ways of dealing with the ignorant is to ignore and avoid them. This is because if you debate with them, they beat you, and if you beat them they will end up hating you, and will not admit you are correct. Therefore ignore them''

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          • #6
            Re: Lying husband

            Weed? Are you in the Netherlands? Did he have this habit when you married him? You shouldn't have to track him. That shows you don't trust him. Without trust, there is nothing!!!
            [FONT=Century Gothic][COLOR="#0066ff"][SIZE=4] We're all a little broken in our own little way and the last time I checked, broken crayons still colour the same...[/SIZE][/COLOR][/FONT]

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            • #7
              Re: Lying husband

              I did not know he smoked weed before we got married. I discussed this issue multiple times with him, he admitted it once and said he would stop. But it shows that he probably isn't.

              I know I should not track him and it shows that there is no trust l, but that is justly because he turns out to be a liar. If I did not track him how will I find out that he is lying to me? And how can I help him if I don't find out?

              Comment


              • #8
                Re: Lying husband

                Originally posted by HopefulOne View Post
                Weed? Are you in the Netherlands? Did he have this habit when you married him? You shouldn't have to track him. That shows you don't trust him. Without trust, there is nothing!!!
                I did not know he smoked weed before we got married. I discussed this issue multiple times with him, he admitted it once and said he would stop. But it shows that he probably isn't.

                I know I should not track him and it shows that there is no trust l, but that is justly because he turns out to be a liar. If I did not track him how will I find out that he is lying to me? And how can I help him if I don't find out?

                Comment

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