Ads by Muslim Ad Network

Announcement

Collapse
No announcement yet.

Should minor ailments be declared to prospective and their family?

Collapse
X
 
  • Filter
  • Time
  • Show
Clear All
new posts

  • #16
    Re: Should minor ailments be declared to prospective and their family?

    Originally posted by LondonGal View Post
    Yep.

    Alopecia, Crohn's, blindness, diabetis etc etc were all disclosed during marriage talks in my family.

    I knew a few cases where depression or mental illnesses were not disclosed and the marriages are now broken.
    What did they expect? People hide all sorts of things. It's basically tricking someone into marrying you. If it was written for you, you will get married. Lies destroy families. Now both families are probably destroyed.
    [FONT=Century Gothic][COLOR="#0066ff"][SIZE=4] We're all a little broken in our own little way and the last time I checked, broken crayons still colour the same...[/SIZE][/COLOR][/FONT]

    Comment


    • #17
      Re: Should minor ailments be declared to prospective and their family?

      OP, what about a criminal record? That's a good one. I think that should be declared.
      [FONT=Century Gothic][COLOR="#0066ff"][SIZE=4] We're all a little broken in our own little way and the last time I checked, broken crayons still colour the same...[/SIZE][/COLOR][/FONT]

      Comment


      • #18
        Re: Should minor ailments be declared to prospective and their family?

        Originally posted by HopefulOne View Post
        OP, what about a criminal record? That's a good one. I think that should be declared.
        Hmm that is indeed a good one. If you have one you should declare it but make sure you have a good excuse lol

        Comment


        • #19
          Originally posted by HopefulOne View Post
          Originally posted by chameleon View Post
          Regarding STDs. I would have thought that anyone with an ounce of humanity and who has a curable STD, would get the all clear first before embarking on marriage.

          True, but still, I would declare that kind of thing. True, there is a stigma attached to it and it would put a lot of people off, but I would want to know.

          Basically even if you're in the clear, most people would want to know if you have had an STI in the past.
          But don't you then risk falling foul of that hadith (I think) where you should cover your sins? You were bad, you caught an STD, you got cleared, you repented. What is there to disclose?

          Comment


          • #20
            Re: Should minor ailments be declared to prospective and their family?

            Originally posted by zi-zizou View Post
            A loving partner would want to know what in life troubles you, cause you pain or discomfort.

            Tell him/her.
            How do you know if they are loving or not, before you marry them?
            وَالْعَصْرِ

            إِنَّ الْإِنسَانَ لَفِي خُسْرٍ

            إِلَّا الَّذِينَ آمَنُوا وَعَمِلُوا الصَّالِحَاتِ وَتَوَاصَوْا بِالْحَقِّ وَتَوَاصَوْا بِالصَّبْرِ

            "If Allah (swt) only sent this Surah to us, for the guidance of Mankind, this will be enough for us” - Imam Shaafi'ee r.a.

            "Yeh dunya daar e faani hain, Tum apna dil mat lagaon, Ganimat samaj zinadagee ki bahar, aana na hoga, yahaa baar baar......"

            Khanqah Habibiyah

            Comment


            • #21
              Re: Should minor ailments be declared to prospective and their family?

              Originally posted by Jenicca View Post
              How do you know if they are loving or not, before you marry them?
              You just roll the dice and hope for the best....
              "When a man sees the road as long he weakens in his walk." Ibn Qayyim

              Comment


              • #22
                Re: Should minor ailments be declared to prospective and their family?

                Originally posted by chameleon View Post
                But don't you then risk falling foul of that hadith (I think) where you should cover your sins? You were bad, you caught an STD, you got cleared, you repented. What is there to disclose?
                I know. I don't know. Maybe that's a question for a knowledgeable person but all I know is most people would want to know.
                [FONT=Century Gothic][COLOR="#0066ff"][SIZE=4] We're all a little broken in our own little way and the last time I checked, broken crayons still colour the same...[/SIZE][/COLOR][/FONT]

                Comment


                • #23
                  Re: Should minor ailments be declared to prospective and their family?

                  Originally posted by Musbah View Post
                  You just roll the dice and hope for the best....
                  LOL. or you do istikhara and put your faith in Allah.

                  Comment


                  • #24
                    Re: Should minor ailments be declared to prospective and their family?

                    Originally posted by raze599 View Post
                    Hmm that is indeed a good one. If you have one you should declare it but make sure you have a good excuse lol
                    That's a tricky one. If you did things in your past that you have repented and reformed from then that is between you and Allah Azza wa Jal. You are not suppose to reveal past sins that you asked taubah for yet your future spouse may want to know what's in the closet. Where do you draw the line?
                    "When a man sees the road as long he weakens in his walk." Ibn Qayyim

                    Comment


                    • #25
                      Re: Should minor ailments be declared to prospective and their family?

                      Originally posted by Musbah View Post
                      That's a tricky one. If you did things in your past that you have repented and reformed from then that is between you and Allah Azza wa Jal. You are not suppose to reveal past sins that you asked taubah for yet your future spouse may want to know what's in the closet. Where do you draw the line?
                      Having a genuine ailment that isn't STD related, doesn't really have anything to do with passed sins. :confused:
                      وَالْعَصْرِ

                      إِنَّ الْإِنسَانَ لَفِي خُسْرٍ

                      إِلَّا الَّذِينَ آمَنُوا وَعَمِلُوا الصَّالِحَاتِ وَتَوَاصَوْا بِالْحَقِّ وَتَوَاصَوْا بِالصَّبْرِ

                      "If Allah (swt) only sent this Surah to us, for the guidance of Mankind, this will be enough for us” - Imam Shaafi'ee r.a.

                      "Yeh dunya daar e faani hain, Tum apna dil mat lagaon, Ganimat samaj zinadagee ki bahar, aana na hoga, yahaa baar baar......"

                      Khanqah Habibiyah

                      Comment


                      • #26
                        Originally posted by HopefulOne View Post
                        OP, what about a criminal record? That's a good one. I think that should be declared.
                        Yeah. That's a cracker. But unlike medical conditions, criminality is probably a lot easier to establish by simply asking around in the community.

                        Comment


                        • #27
                          Re: Should minor ailments be declared to prospective and their family?

                          Originally posted by Jenicca View Post
                          How do you know if they are loving or not, before you marry them?
                          I don't suggest you disclose these things straight off the bat. But I think after a meeting or three when you think this could be the one then you mention.

                          The reasonable expectation would be that whoever you marry will love you. Whether this comes to fruition, well that a different matter.

                          Comment


                          • #28
                            Re: Should minor ailments be declared to prospective and their family?

                            Originally posted by Jenicca View Post
                            Having a genuine ailment that isn't STD related, doesn't really have anything to do with passed sins. :confused:
                            I was answering a question concerning if a criminal record should be revealed not about STDs.
                            "When a man sees the road as long he weakens in his walk." Ibn Qayyim

                            Comment


                            • #29
                              Re: Should minor ailments be declared to prospective and their family?

                              Originally posted by Musbah View Post
                              That's a tricky one. If you did things in your past that you have repented and reformed from then that is between you and Allah Azza wa Jal. You are not suppose to reveal past sins that you asked taubah for yet your future spouse may want to know what's in the closet. Where do you draw the line?
                              Hmmm I think it depends on the type of person you're marrying. Some people may want to know all about your past (before them). If they are that type, then it's best to know in advance and get everything in the open before marriage otherwise it's going to be a huge problem afterward. Such people will not be satisfied and will keep pressing you for information about your past and will only make your life miserable after marriage. So it's better to know in advance whether the person is that type and if they are, then let them know about your past (everything, good or bad) no matter what the outcome will be. and if they don't like it, it's best they go their own way and you your own way. alternately, if that isn't the type of person you want to marry, then you can let them go without telling them anything.

                              On the other hand, there are those who aren't concerned about your past but only about your life after they came into it. To that sort, you don't need to tell them about things in the past because they won't bother you after marriage.

                              and that's just my opinion.

                              Comment


                              • #30
                                Re: Should minor ailments be declared to prospective and their family?

                                Originally posted by zi-zizou View Post
                                I don't suggest you disclose these things straight off the bat. But I think after a meeting or three when you think this could be the one then you mention.

                                The reasonable expectation would be that whoever you marry will love you. Whether this comes to fruition, well that a different matter.
                                I think my anaemia is less of an issue for the brother than my :wacko: personality!
                                وَالْعَصْرِ

                                إِنَّ الْإِنسَانَ لَفِي خُسْرٍ

                                إِلَّا الَّذِينَ آمَنُوا وَعَمِلُوا الصَّالِحَاتِ وَتَوَاصَوْا بِالْحَقِّ وَتَوَاصَوْا بِالصَّبْرِ

                                "If Allah (swt) only sent this Surah to us, for the guidance of Mankind, this will be enough for us” - Imam Shaafi'ee r.a.

                                "Yeh dunya daar e faani hain, Tum apna dil mat lagaon, Ganimat samaj zinadagee ki bahar, aana na hoga, yahaa baar baar......"

                                Khanqah Habibiyah

                                Comment

                                Working...
                                X