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Should minor ailments be declared to prospective and their family?

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  • Should minor ailments be declared to prospective and their family?

    Not life threatening stuff obviously, but things that are quite widespread in the population and not easily apparent when you meet someone?

    Eg;

    - asthma
    - short or long sighted-ness (hidden by contact lenses)
    - baldness (easy to see in men, hard for women cos of hijab)
    - that skin condition where people have white patches (seen quite a lot of South asianswith this)
    - other skin conditions
    - STDs (extremely tricky subject to broach)
    - and any other condition I haven't mentioned.

    I think you know what I mean. What are your thoughts?

  • #2
    Re: Should minor ailments be declared to prospective and their family?

    Yes any illnesses should be told to the family, whether it is STD or other minor illnesses.
    “Mix with the noble people, you become one of them; and keep away from evil people so that you protect yourself from their evils.”


    Hadhrat Ali (Radiallahu anhu)

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    • #3
      Re: Should minor ailments be declared to prospective and their family?

      Yeah, most would not bother me unless serious then need to think about it
      Ya Muqallib Al-Quloob Thabbit Qalbi Alaa Deenik
      ( O changer of hearts, keep my heart steadfast on your deen)

      www.treasureofthescholars.wordpress.com

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      • #4
        Re: Should minor ailments be declared to prospective and their family?

        I don't think they should be told to the family. Its not like its a major deal thats the difference between marriage and no marriage. STD yes but asthma no.

        Its so minor its not even a problem in my opinion. You don't have to know every little thing about the person before marriage anyways.

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        • #5
          Re: Should minor ailments be declared to prospective and their family?

          I'm prone to anaemia but it's not something I even thought to mention before marriage as it's not that big a deal and easily treatable. If it was something more serious or something contagious I would've mentioned it.
          "Think for yourselves and let others enjoy the privilege to do so too" Essay on Tolerance, Voltaire

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          • #6
            Re: Should minor ailments be declared to prospective and their family?

            Some minor medical issues can affect your every day life so I'd say yes.

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            • #7
              Should minor ailments be declared to prospective and their family?

              I would say yes. Your spouse has the right to know that, especially if it affects your everyday life: taking meds etc.

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              • #8
                Re: Should minor ailments be declared to prospective and their family?

                Well I guess it depends on whether they are ordinary stuff or not. for example, I am allergic to milk (gives me stomach problems) and yogurt (gives me sinusitis/cold) but I don't think such things need to be brought up. I guess if something is so serious that you feel like hiding it then you should be up front about it. I think skin problems like white patches should be declared because they can affect the marriage later on, if they are unsightly.

                STD - yes you definitely need to declare this, as well as any major health problems.

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                • #9
                  Re: Should minor ailments be declared to prospective and their family?

                  Originally posted by Sky Lark View Post
                  Yes any illnesses should be told to the family, whether it is STD or other minor illnesses.
                  I agree. When I met my wife I let her know that I have type 2 diabetes though people always say to me that I don't "look like" I have it because I am not over weight.
                  "When a man sees the road as long he weakens in his walk." Ibn Qayyim

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                  • #10
                    Originally posted by raze599 View Post
                    I don't think they should be told to the family. Its not like its a major deal thats the difference between marriage and no marriage. STD yes but asthma no.

                    Its so minor its not even a problem in my opinion. You don't have to know every little thing about the person before marriage anyways.
                    No-one is perfect are they?

                    But you don't want your partner afterwards whining and bad mouthing you for not telling them. Especially if later on your offspring inherits the same condition.

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                    • #11
                      Re: Should minor ailments be declared to prospective and their family?

                      A loving partner would want to know what in life troubles you, cause you pain or discomfort.

                      Tell him/her.

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                      • #12
                        Re: Should minor ailments be declared to prospective and their family?

                        STD yeah. Are you mad OP? Lol. I think everything should be declared to be on the safe side if you are suffering from it now or have done in the past and it could return... Too many people hide things. Why would you want someone to marry you for someone that isn't you?

                        Don't know if that makes sense.
                        [FONT=Century Gothic][COLOR="#0066ff"][SIZE=4] We're all a little broken in our own little way and the last time I checked, broken crayons still colour the same...[/SIZE][/COLOR][/FONT]

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                        • #13
                          Should minor ailments be declared to prospective and their family?

                          Regarding STDs. I would have thought that anyone with an ounce of humanity and who has a curable STD, would get the all clear first before embarking on marriage.

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                          • #14
                            Re: Should minor ailments be declared to prospective and their family?

                            Yep.

                            Alopecia, Crohn's, blindness, diabetis etc etc were all disclosed during marriage talks in my family.

                            I knew a few cases where depression or mental illnesses were not disclosed and the marriages are now broken.
                            https://sufisticated101.wordpress.com

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                            • #15
                              Re: Should minor ailments be declared to prospective and their family?

                              Originally posted by chameleon View Post
                              Regarding STDs. I would have thought that anyone with an ounce of humanity and who has a curable STD, would get the all clear first before embarking on marriage.

                              True, but still, I would declare that kind of thing. True, there is a stigma attached to it and it would put a lot of people off, but I would want to know.

                              Basically even if you're in the clear, most people would want to know if you have had an STI in the past.
                              Last edited by HopefulOne; 20-11-14, 03:03 PM.
                              [FONT=Century Gothic][COLOR="#0066ff"][SIZE=4] We're all a little broken in our own little way and the last time I checked, broken crayons still colour the same...[/SIZE][/COLOR][/FONT]

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