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63% of divorces encouraged by families

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  • 63% of divorces encouraged by families

    A research by the UK law firm Slater and Gordon, which canvassed the attitudes of 2,007 divorced Brits, found that 63% of divorcees said that their families influenced their decision to split with mothers on both sides having the greatest sway on whether the relationship would break down or not.

    74% complained that their ex partner had always listened to their family more than them, and a quarter said that they were completely ignored by their in-laws at times.

    The majority of respondents said their partner’s family had as much if not more of an impact on the relationship than their own family, while 44% admitted they had never gotten on with their ex partner’s family. One in four said there had been times when their in-laws entirely ignored them.

    Nearly 4 out of 10 of all divorcees say the decision to end their marriage was influenced by their mother, according to the report.

    Other relations likely to be prominent in the build-up to a divorce are brothers and sisters, cited by one in 10 divorcees as an influence on their decision to end a marriage.

    Only six in 100 said it was their children who pushed them into separation.

  • #2
    Re: 63% of divorces encouraged by families

    Sounds like desi family, good to see average British value family and parents enough to choose mom over wife

    Comment


    • #3
      Re: 63% of divorces encouraged by families

      Originally posted by Kya View Post
      good to see average British value family and parents enough to choose mom over wife
      Why do you consider that a good thing?

      Comment


      • #4
        Re: 63% of divorces encouraged by families

        this is why i tell married couples to work out their issues without involving family. her side will side with her regardless of who is right and his will side with him.

        don't involves friends either. go to a marriagd counselor if needed.
        لآ اِلَهَ اِلّا اللّهُ مُحَمَّدٌ رَسُوُل اللّهِ

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        • #5
          Re: 63% of divorces encouraged by families

          Originally posted by Aloo View Post
          this is why i tell married couples to work out their issues without involving family. her side will side with her regardless of who is right and his will side with him.

          don't involves friends either. go to a marriagd counselor if needed.
          Exactly I never understand why people need the whole worlds input, only you truly know what really goes on between you and your spouse at the end of the day so therfore only you should make the decision as to whether you should remain with them. Not really the hardest job in the world tryjng to figure out whether he/she is good for you and whether your marriage is truly over or can it be fixed?

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          • #6
            Re: 63% of divorces encouraged by families

            If I was married, I would hope that my spouse and I keep whatever happens in our marriage private, and if we have any disagreements to solve them between ourselves. No need to complain to friends or family. Because ofcourse family are more likely to be biased and take your side. This doesn't exactly help a marriage.

            It's like, if you have a disagreement with your spouse and you go & complain to your family, then even if you forgive them later, your family might not. So it's best for a married couple to keep their issues between themselves and not tell anyone (unless it becomes REALLY bad e.g. adultery, violence etc.).

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            • #7
              Originally posted by Kya View Post
              Sounds like desi family, good to see average British value family and parents enough to choose mom over wife
              & you see that as a good thing? That's sad. Especially when these women are usually starting drama for no reason and only want control of their childrens marriage.

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              • #8
                Re: 63% of divorces encouraged by families

                I have been meaning to write a long thread regarding divorce and who should be involved in solving such matters.

                I know in Islam we hold parents and family in general in the highest regard..but in all honesty they are not always the right people to resolve marriage issues..especially divorce.

                If I have time I'll put something together
                No Longer On UF

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                • #9
                  Re: 63% of divorces encouraged by families

                  Originally posted by Sen View Post
                  Why do you consider that a good thing?
                  Originally posted by Bint Muaawiya View Post
                  & you see that as a good thing? That's sad. Especially when these women are usually starting drama for no reason and only want control of their childrens marriage.
                  Your mothers status is far greater than your wife/husband. So why isn't it a good thing. You seen enough post on this message board of conflict between wife and mother & 100% of the people tell the poster to choose mother over wife. Its good to see the same value exist thru religion and culture. Muslims' are always going on about our high value in family and parents unlike our khafi counterpart. This study shows we aren't that different and the khafir's don't treat their parents as dogs/cats but take their input in important things like marriage.

                  Why are these mothers considered "creating drama" when every other thread on marriage section advices men to divorce his useless/selfish wife who doesn't want to deal with his mother. I am going by what I have learned from my society and that is always listen to your parents & its good to see non-muslims are respecting parents too

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                  • #10
                    Re: 63% of divorces encouraged by families

                    Its easy to say "why can't people take care of their own issue themselves" but we don't even get married by ourself. We get married with our parents arranging it, how can our parents step away from the marriage issue when they created it. Two strangers living together will need others advice. Its very important to have supportive friends and family & there is nothing wrong with taking advice. Just follow wisely that's all.

                    No need to cut off family

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