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Long distance realationship (25+ thread!)

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  • Re: Long distance realationship (25+ thread!)

    Originally posted by hitorinoghareeb View Post
    Well in sha Allah you'll be successfully in regard to your marriage but you shouldnt be thinking of attracting people with bad intentions, make duaa and find someone who really on deen, are you a revert or would you marry one? Because the brothers I know who reverted are really upstanding Allahu 3lim, not that born ones are not but from my experiences usually they are the type of brothers that are strong in deen seem bette r than most here
    InshaAllah khair.

    I am not a revert myself but I have considered marrying one in the past. He was also much younger than me...like you said above.

    :jkk:
    My heart will go on

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    • Re: Long distance realationship (25+ thread!)

      Originally posted by علي View Post
      :wswrwb:

      With regards to this, I would just note that really it's when they're young that kids need a father figure, more so than when they grow older. To be raised with that balance is good for them, and as long as they are without it, we do not know what complications may develop. It's not in line with what is best and healthiest for children in the general case, at least that is my belief and it's built upon what I have read/seen as well as simply noting how if they were not mother and father, the children would not exist in the first place. There may be discomfort given a stranger will be introduced to them, but with some time they will adapt as children do.

      But to answer the question, will you find men who will accept this arrangement but who are not married? Probably not, at least I cannot see it happening in the typically Muslim cultures I'm familiar with (Arabic and to a far lesser extent, Desi). But even outside those cultures, again probably not. No one can say it's impossible though.

      May Allah make it easy.
      Ameen & Barak Allahu feek. I agree with the first part about kids being young so it will be easier for them to adjust.

      I still have hope that it is possible. There must be someone out there for me that doesn't mind having sabr for a while. I hope someone will think I am worth the wait.. or am I being to romantic now.. =/
      My heart will go on

      Comment


      • Re: Long distance realationship (25+ thread!)

        :wswrwb:

        ITs not impossible, but with such restricted requirements you will need to search bit more than the rest. It could work temporary for say example students who have major responsibilities of studies or workaholic busy business man who have to travel alot but eventually even they would want to livein together ones alls settled.

        I dont know your situation/story dear sis but seems like you have fear of some kind? forgive me if amwrong but i dont get the whole 'my freedom' bit? i thought women enjoy freedom after they get married alhamdulillaah lol atleast thats what i have seen.

        sigpic

        Allahumma anta Rabbi la ilaha illa anta Khalaqtani wa ana'abduka, wa ana 'ala 'ahdika wa Wa'dika mastata'tu A'uidhubika min sharri ma sana'tu.' abu'u Laka bi ni 'matika wa'ala abu'u bidhanbi; faghfirli fa'innahu la yaghfiru-dh-dhunuba illa anta.
        O Allah, You are my Lord, none has the right to be worshipped except You, You created me and I am Your servant and I abide to Your covenant and promise as best I can, I take refuge in You from the evil of which I have committed. I acknowledge Your favour upon me and I acknowledgemy sin, so forgive me, for verilynone can forgive sin except You.



        We are accountable for every letter we post here, so think before posting and maintain modesty.

        Comment


        • Re: Long distance realationship (25+ thread!)

          Wow! this is like offering peanuts for Gold. The most ideal path and the one that seems the most logical would be a polygamous marriage. Where one can find a husband willing to live miles away so as to fulfill the wife's ultimate dream of freedom and all the other check lists in return for?

          What is actually in it for the husband?

          To be so anti polygamy and be in this situation is probably the real dilemma.
          Believe none of what you hear, and only half of what you see.

          Comment


          • Re: Long distance realationship (25+ thread!)

            Originally posted by Ansaariyah View Post
            :wswrwb:

            ITs not impossible, but with such restricted requirements you will need to search bit more than the rest. It could work temporary for say example students who have major responsibilities of studies or workaholic busy business man who have to travel alot but eventually even they would want to livein together ones alls settled.

            I dont know your situation/story dear sis but seems like you have fear of some kind? forgive me if amwrong but i dont get the whole 'my freedom' bit? i thought women enjoy freedom after they get married alhamdulillaah lol atleast thats what i have seen.
            I will explain what I mean by I want my freedom.

            It's mostly about the freedom to raise my children as I want and as I am used to. I know them best and I think I know what I am doing. He can advice me but at the end I am their mother and I want the freedom to make the decisions when it comes to the kids.

            There is also the fact that I have been alone for so long. That made me an independent woman. ;)
            My heart will go on

            Comment


            • Re: Long distance realationship (25+ thread!)

              Originally posted by zainah View Post
              I will explain what I mean by I want my freedom.

              It's mostly about the freedom to raise my children as I want and as I am used to. I know them best and I think I know what I am doing. He can advice me but at the end I am their mother and I want the freedom to make the decisions when it comes to the kids.

              There is also the fact that I have been alone for so long. That made me an independent woman. ;)
              ahh i see, I thought man is only responsible for his own kids :s anyway may Allaah ta'ala bless you with whats best for you here and in akhirah, ameen ya Rabb :love:

              sigpic

              Allahumma anta Rabbi la ilaha illa anta Khalaqtani wa ana'abduka, wa ana 'ala 'ahdika wa Wa'dika mastata'tu A'uidhubika min sharri ma sana'tu.' abu'u Laka bi ni 'matika wa'ala abu'u bidhanbi; faghfirli fa'innahu la yaghfiru-dh-dhunuba illa anta.
              O Allah, You are my Lord, none has the right to be worshipped except You, You created me and I am Your servant and I abide to Your covenant and promise as best I can, I take refuge in You from the evil of which I have committed. I acknowledge Your favour upon me and I acknowledgemy sin, so forgive me, for verilynone can forgive sin except You.



              We are accountable for every letter we post here, so think before posting and maintain modesty.

              Comment

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