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Long distance realationship (25+ thread!)

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  • #46
    Re: Long distance realationship (25+ thread!)

    Originally posted by Muslima London View Post
    It's quite a nice thought isn't it, husband but no man around :)
    I wouldnt mind that
    There are men who probably think the same way, a woman but no wife around :up: Quite frankly I don't think a woman could handle her husband only coming around every few weeks and then leaving again. They would be paranoid about what he is doing with his time away from her.
    "When a man sees the road as long he weakens in his walk." Ibn Qayyim

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    • #47
      Re: Long distance realationship (25+ thread!)

      Assalamu alaikum sister!!
      I am two years too young for this thread but I would like to contribute..I can't count sorry. I'm three years too young.

      I don't think it's gonna work unfortunately. Like many have said, I think the kind of guy that would be comfortable with that is the kinda guy you don't wanna be marrying. A dodgy guy. I don't know why people keep forcing polygamy down your throat. It's just not for some people.

      I think it's either polygamy which you said you don't want, or a normal marriage.

      Imo, the kind of guy that would be suited to you is one that has been previously married with or without kids.

      You can't have everything your way.

      Is this something to do with you being worried about your daughter because I thought you didn't have a daughter? :/

      You deserve to be happy too as well as your kids and kids know when their parents are happy or not.

      A good man can be good for you and your kids.
      Last edited by HopefulOne; 19-11-14, 02:58 PM.
      [FONT=Century Gothic][COLOR="#0066ff"][SIZE=4] We're all a little broken in our own little way and the last time I checked, broken crayons still colour the same...[/SIZE][/COLOR][/FONT]

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      • #48
        Re: Friends With Benefits

        Originally posted by Sen View Post
        So you're supposed to spend the eternity in Jannah together but you can't live a couple decades down here. To me it sounds like you're looking for a Halal Friends With Benefits deal. You'll see each other once or twice a week, do the thing and bye bye. The only resemblance to a marriage will be the wedding part. That's really immature for a Muslim woman, especially if she's a bit older. Also, those kids could use a dad. This is so weird. And it feels wrong. I'd really like to read a scholar's opinion on this.
        Must you be so judgemental? You don't know the OP to be calling her immature.
        [FONT=Century Gothic][COLOR="#0066ff"][SIZE=4] We're all a little broken in our own little way and the last time I checked, broken crayons still colour the same...[/SIZE][/COLOR][/FONT]

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        • #49
          Re: Long distance realationship (25+ thread!)

          nooooo. sounds like a terrible terrible idea. It will open doors to sleazy good for nothing men to sneak in through!!

          if people are going to marry they should be ready to live together, through thick and thin and to compromise on their 'freedom'

          Plus your kids are young, they will get used to a step dad now rather than later. Just choose someone right and :insha: all will benefit.

          You get a full-time husband, he gets a full-time wife, and the kids get a step father who can semi-fill the void they may have,

          EDIT: sorry habibty, just saw your '' 25+ '' rule, I'll leave now. :o
          Gone with the wind.

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          • #50
            Re: Friends With Benefits

            Originally posted by Sen View Post
            So you're supposed to spend the eternity in Jannah together but you can't live a couple decades down here. To me it sounds like you're looking for a Halal Friends With Benefits deal. You'll see each other once or twice a week, do the thing and bye bye. The only resemblance to a marriage will be the wedding part. That's really immature for a Muslim woman, especially if she's a bit older. Also, those kids could use a dad. This is so weird. And it feels wrong. I'd really like to read a scholar's opinion on this.
            It does say if your mature to reply to the thread..

            You have just made a judgment on someone, you clearly don't even know and understand the sisters thought pattern. Clearly with her situation she has various reservations around men being aroudn her children etc.

            Anyway...

            No need to character assassin a person that you clearly don't know, not a good trait to have.

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            • #51
              Long distance realationship (25+ thread!)

              :salams:

              I'm not over 25, I hope you don't mind :)

              just wanted to say, inshaAllah you marry a good man, a good man will not leave you hanging and will marry you for everything and will help you irrespective of whether you want the help or not, there are plenty of these good men whom I speak about inshaAllah, which good man would want a female left alone and hanging? It's a mans job to protect and maintain woman

              inshaAllah you find a solution quick, I know you will make the right decision *hugs*


              Allah grant you a pious spouse
              :love:
              The Messenger of Allah ﷺ said: “It will be said to the companion of the Qur’an: ‘Read, and ascend, and recite as you used to recite in the [previous] world, for your status will be according to the last verse that you recite.’” [At-Tirmidhi (2914) and Abu Dawood (1464)]

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              • #52
                Re: Friends With Benefits

                Originally posted by HopefulOne View Post
                Must you be so judgemental? You don't know the OP to be calling her immature.
                I told you to ignore me. I understand she has needs but her approach is really, really immature. And she seems a bit selfish too. While she doesn't want to act like a real wife, she also doesn't want to be a 2nd wife to someone who wouldn't care about her absence that much.
                But seriously, you - ignore me, I don't like you.

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                • #53
                  Re: Friends With Benefits

                  Some of you are underage for this thread

                  Back to the OP - are you sure you want to get married? (You don't have to reply, it's more of a thinking question maybe)

                  From what I know, even polygamy was not like that back in the day and it's not like that in some Muslim countries.

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                  • #54
                    Re: Friends With Benefits

                    Originally posted by Sen View Post
                    I told you to ignore me. I understand she has needs but her approach is really, really immature. And she seems a bit selfish too. While she doesn't want to act like a real wife, she also doesn't want to be a 2nd wife to someone who wouldn't care about her absence that much.
                    But seriously, you - ignore me, I don't like you.
                    I'm still waiting for her self imposed 1 month ban to take effect since 3 days ago....lol
                    "When a man sees the road as long he weakens in his walk." Ibn Qayyim

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                    • #55
                      Re: Long distance realationship (25+ thread!)

                      Originally posted by zainah View Post
                      Salaam alaykum everyone who is an adult and mature enough to comment on this thread :p

                      So this is my very first Marriage section thread.. lord have mercy on me.

                      Marriage is on my mind lately.. yep. There is only one ini mini tyni thingy that stops me from getting married.

                      My Freedom.

                      I don't want to live with a man. I want to stay alone and keep my own house with everything in it. Just the way it is now.

                      Basically how I see my marriage is living separately from each other and visit each other like once a week or two weeks.

                      Will there be any men out there who wont' mind? I am not talking about married men..I don't want one of those.

                      The times that we are together I will be a good wife insha'Allah, as long as he goes back to his own place again. :inlove:

                      This also has to do with the fact that I am raising two kids alone from day one, so I don't want them to feel uncomfortable in their own home.
                      Maybe after a while we can move in together, but as long as the kids are young I feel like I want to be alone for most of the time.
                      You should perhaps reconsider this option as it's likely your situation may attract the wrong sort of bloke. The kind you wouldn't want near your children. Insha'allah stay patient and Allah will give you something better.
                      "Think for yourselves and let others enjoy the privilege to do so too" Essay on Tolerance, Voltaire

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                      • #56
                        Re: Long distance realationship (25+ thread!)

                        It's not a good idea op.
                        They say good things come to those who wait, so imma be at least an hour late

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                        • #57
                          Re: Long distance realationship (25+ thread!)

                          Originally posted by ibzy View Post
                          It's not a good idea op.
                          Yeah I know. I was living in a bubble I guess.

                          But you are not 25 + what are you doing here?
                          My heart will go on

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                          • #58
                            Re: Long distance realationship (25+ thread!)

                            Originally posted by zainah View Post
                            Yeah I know. I was living in a bubble I guess.

                            But you are not 25 + what are you doing here?
                            Lol maybe I am, maybe I'm not, no one knows.
                            They say good things come to those who wait, so imma be at least an hour late

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                            • #59
                              Re: Long distance realationship (25+ thread!)

                              Originally posted by ibzy View Post
                              Lol maybe I am, maybe I'm not, no one knows.
                              About no one knows. Dude you're doing your GCSEs. Go do your homework haha.
                              [FONT=Century Gothic][COLOR="#0066ff"][SIZE=4] We're all a little broken in our own little way and the last time I checked, broken crayons still colour the same...[/SIZE][/COLOR][/FONT]

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                              • #60
                                Re: Long distance realationship (25+ thread!)

                                are you willing to become 3rd or 4th wife ?
                                i think something could be arranged that way, if every night your husband goes to different wife, he will see you every 4th day/night.

                                quite possible, but as for me, i would never let my wife out of my sight, even if she is asleep im gonna watch her cute face waiting for her to wake up.

                                Apart from potty breaks if she wants to stay alone im gonn be " you aint going anywhere muh wifuuu stay with meee.."
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