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Does physical attraction really matter?

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  • Does physical attraction really matter?


  • #2
    Re: Does physical attraction really matter?

    Wa alaikum salam.

    If another visit with him is not possible then I think you should consider whether you want to go ahead with this marriage at all.
    Mix with the noble people, you become one of them; and keep away from evil people so that you protect yourself from their evils.


    Hadhrat Ali (Radiallahu anhu)

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    • #3
      Re: Does physical attraction really matter?

      Wa alaykum assalam

      Yes it is important. It doesnt make you shallow to look at their looks, I don't know why some people on this forum say that.

      Meet a few times more with him, decide if you would be able to spend your life with him day in day out. If he actually makes you cringe or turn the other way then it looks like he isn't right for you. If he isnt tooooo bad but you would prefer better, then you have a lot of thinking to do. Do Istikhara also.

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      • #4
        Re: Does physical attraction really matter?

        I think this is a question you should be answering yourself. Us telling you whether it matters or not will not really change your attraction meter. This question put to us does not actually solve your issue except but enlightens you on my opinion on attraction.
        Believe none of what you hear, and only half of what you see.

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        • #5
          Re: Does physical attraction really matter?

          I mean think of it this way. I wouldnt wana be that guy who is about to get married to a girl who does not feel attracted to me, you know what i mean

          If you really care about him, then you should not go ahead with this. He deserves someone who actually is attracted to him (no offense)
          Believe
          there is
          good in the world

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          • #6
            Re: Does physical attraction really matter?

            Originally posted by ugabs View Post
            I mean think of it this way. I wouldnt wana be that guy who is about to get married to a girl who does not feel attracted to me, you know what i mean

            If you really care about him, then you should not go ahead with this. He deserves someone who actually is attracted to him (no offense)
            This is true too. You can't keep it hidden your whole life that you don't find the person attractive and when they find out its going to be upsetting for them.

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            • #7
              Re: Does physical attraction really matter?

              we are living in a generation whos all about visual.. i personally think charactor is alot more important if he is namazi doesnt do anything haram and you think he will keep you safe and help you raiz kids in islamic enviorment. would you want your husband in near future to do that to you the same after you have one or two kids.. body changes all the time. you can help him fit.. you cant do nothing if he is super Ugly .. but if he is normal looking chubby man i think its not an excuse

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              • #8
                Re: Does physical attraction really matter?

                Originally posted by ugabs View Post
                I mean think of it this way. I wouldnt wana be that guy who is about to get married to a girl who does not feel attracted to me, you know what i mean

                If you really care about him, then you should not go ahead with this. He deserves someone who actually is attracted to him (no offense)
                This
                They say good things come to those who wait, so imma be at least an hour late

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                • #9
                  Re: Does physical attraction really matter?

                  I would say that I'd everything else seems good

                  Personality, deen n character and he is not like Quasimodo ugly then after marriage you will fall in love with him
                  Do istikara anyway
                  Ibnul Qayyim رحمه الله said: "Dont ruin your happiness with worry, and dont ruin your mind with pessimism. Dont ruin your success with deception and dont ruin the optimism of others by destroying it. Dont ruin your day by looking back at yesterday.
                  __________________________________________________ _____________________________
                  If you think about your situation, you will find that Allaah (سبحانه وتعالى) has given you things without asking, so have trust in Allaah (سبحانه وتعالى) that He doesnt prevent anything you want except there is goodness for you.

                  You could be sleeping and the doors of the heavens are being opened with duaas being made on your behalf, SubhanAllaah: perhaps from someone poor whom you helped, or someone sad whom you brought joy, or someone passing by and you smiled at him, or someone in distress and you removed it.. so dont ever underestimate any good deeds."



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                  • #10
                    Re: Does physical attraction really matter?

                    You will be expected to consummate the marriage... :/ Enough said.
                    [FONT=Century Gothic][COLOR="#0066ff"][SIZE=4] We're all a little broken in our own little way and the last time I checked, broken crayons still colour the same...[/SIZE][/COLOR][/FONT]

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                    • #11
                      Re: Does physical attraction really matter?

                      Waalaikumussalam,
                      Think this topic has been discussed numerous times,
                      There might be some old threads.

                      Anyway - Yes it does matter to an extent as in you need to be able to see yourself living with the other person.
                      But, as ML said love grows in a marriage and the more close you become the more fun the marriage would become.No one is gonna be 100 % attractive at the outset, so be open minded and try and visualise a bit to see if you can form some form of bond.

                      "Mental and emotional attraction in a marriage creates a bond that makes physical aspects beautiful"

                      Youtube channel - https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCYk...dE4pHzSid7Lr0w

                      **** Smiling won't cost you now is it ****

                      Zawjati ,Uhibbuki mithla m ant Uhibbuki kaifam kunteeeWa mahm kna mahma sra

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                      • #12
                        Re: Does physical attraction really matter?

                        The fact that you have not dismissed it out of hand suggests that you think you could still go ahead with it, so to me at least it sounds like it's not necessarily a deal breaker.

                        Attraction is important but this can manifest itself at many different levels. Unless you are close to being repulsed by him I would consider him very favourably (given that you are happy with deen and character) and give your feelings a chance to grow.

                        Besides with a humongous beard all brothers look fabulous, right???

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                        • #13
                          Re: Does physical attraction really matter?

                          If the prospect of intimacy with him makes your heart heavy and you are inclined to go through it considering it a duty then reconsider. No point in making yourself.go through an ordeal, which can compromise your akhra as well.

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                          • #14
                            Re: Does physical attraction really matter?

                            It should definitely not be the first or even worst the only thing that you look for in a spouse. But after ticking the important boxes such as the Deen of the person as well as character, then in this case you should ask yourself if there is some sort of physical attraction between the two of you. At the end of the day the prophet (saws) told us that we should find spouses who please us when we look at them as this helps us to keep our gazes lowered.
                            Having said that, we should be realistic and not be looking for mr or mrs perfect (look wise)

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                            • #15
                              Re: Does physical attraction really matter?

                              Wa alaikum salaam.

                              If every other aspect of him was perfect and his looks were only just about acceptable, I think it could work... a person's personality beautifies their exterior for you as time goes on. You seem to really be considering him despite how not so attracted you are to his appearance, which is a positive sign.

                              However, how you really feel about his looks is something only you are aware of, and you have to think about the long term. You'll be waking up to his face every day, and if you really don't find him attractive at all, then...
                              If your sins reached the heavens and you repented, your repentance would still be accepted.
                              ~ The Messenger of Allah (ﷺ)

                              سنن ابن ماجه ٤٢٤٨

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