Ads by Muslim Ad Network

Announcement

Collapse
No announcement yet.

How do your own parents approach you with a proposal?

Collapse
X
 
  • Filter
  • Time
  • Show
Clear All
new posts

  • #16
    Re: How do your own parents approach you with a proposal?

    Originally posted by starrynight11 View Post
    Testing your cooking! :sub: lol

    How did you find out that it was indeed for marriage purposes?
    Well, mum jokingly dropped it into conversation a few days later. I was in my twenties by then and just felt I was mature enough to be kept in the loop, lol. It all felt a bit old school and I didn't like it at all!

    Comment


    • #17
      Re: How do your own parents approach you with a proposal?

      Originally posted by ugabs View Post
      I have no idea what happens behind the scenes. Its like I'm an actor and my mother is my agent

      She works all the deals for me haha

      (sorry for not being helpful)
      No worries. :up:

      I guess, if you are interested in someone that may be suggested to you by your parents, you would have to take the initiative to show or tell your parents that you would like to talk to them for marriage.

      Sometimes, I get the impression though that the two families (your's and the prospective's) already come to some sort of 'agreement' and then tell their children about a prospective. Are parents usually more direct about these kinds of things? It would be awkward if the child had to ask their parents 'was that family making an indirect proposal for me' or to be under that impression when really the families were just trying to 'brag' about their children.
      Life's actually pretty simple: you just have to enjoy it, pray, do good, refrain from bad, and respect others. Being Muslim is not a disadvantage or an advantage - it's a responsibility.
      "So patiently persevere: for verily the promise of Allah is true" (Qur'an, Surah Ar-Rum - 30:60)

      Comment


      • #18
        Re: How do your own parents approach you with a proposal?

        My parents always speak to me about a potential both sitting in the front room together, it's always after all the young ones have fallen asleep and with "Beta idhar aao" (child, come here) "kuch baat karni hai" (we need to talk) then I know it's game over from there onwards

        In our culture/community, the girls family would die before making a proposal to the guy, they'd rather have a daughter collecting dust then approach a family, it's always the guys side that comes first because "besthiiiii" (shame) otherwise.

        If my friends have suggested someone to me, I go to them straight away, when they hear non-Pakistani it's a big fat no - but worth a try xD
        Last edited by sunrise867; 16-11-14, 08:59 PM.
        My Lord sanctify my flawed heart
        As You have sanctified Your house,
        Make my heart as protected and as honoured
        In which permission of entry
        Is only granted to a few,
        Please Allah, allow my heart
        To be preserved only for You.



        ---


        It hurts, to watch you leave so soon,
        when I don't know, if I will ever see you again
        In Jannah, we will meet :love:


        If I have ever offended, hurt or insulted you, forgive me for the sake of Allah سبحانه وتعالى‎

        Comment


        • #19
          Re: How do your own parents approach you with a proposal?

          Originally posted by one_justice View Post
          Well, mumjokingly dropped it into conversation a few days later. I was in my twenties by then and just felt I was mature enough to be kept in the loop, lol. It all felt a bit old school and I didn't like it at all!
          lol

          But, are parents scared of telling their kids about this stuff? Why did she eventually tell you that?

          Originally posted by sunrise867 View Post
          My parents always speak to me about a potential both sitting in the front room together, it's always after all the young ones have fallen asleep and with "Beta idhar aao" (child, come here) "kuch baat karni hai" (we need to talk) then I know it's game over from there onwards
          "The talk." (one of them, anyway, lol)
          Last edited by starrynight11; 16-11-14, 09:02 PM.
          Life's actually pretty simple: you just have to enjoy it, pray, do good, refrain from bad, and respect others. Being Muslim is not a disadvantage or an advantage - it's a responsibility.
          "So patiently persevere: for verily the promise of Allah is true" (Qur'an, Surah Ar-Rum - 30:60)

          Comment


          • #20
            Re: How do your own parents approach you with a proposal?

            Originally posted by starrynight11 View Post
            Sometimes, I get the impression though that the two families (your's and the prospective's) already come to some sort of 'agreement' and then tell their children about a prospective. Are parents usually more direct about these kinds of things? It would be awkward if the child had to ask their parents 'was that family making an indirect proposal for me' or to be under that impression when really the families were just trying to 'brag' about their children.
            Especially in the Indo-Pak culture you can't tell lol

            My mum casually mentioned about a girl I used to know about 8 or 9 months ago. I was thinking for days "does she really mean this or is this some sort of proposal!" :rotfl:

            Comment


            • #21
              Re: How do your own parents approach you with a proposal?

              Originally posted by raze599 View Post
              Especially in the Indo-Pak culture you can't tell lol

              My mum casually mentioned about a girl I used to know about 8 or 9 months ago. I was thinking for days "does she really mean this or is this some sort of proposal!" :rotfl:
              So, then how did your parents assume your response? Was it really a proposal? If it was, would they have asked you again what you thought about that person?
              Life's actually pretty simple: you just have to enjoy it, pray, do good, refrain from bad, and respect others. Being Muslim is not a disadvantage or an advantage - it's a responsibility.
              "So patiently persevere: for verily the promise of Allah is true" (Qur'an, Surah Ar-Rum - 30:60)

              Comment


              • #22
                Re: How do your own parents approach you with a proposal?

                Originally posted by starrynight11 View Post
                lol

                But, are parents scared of telling their kids about this stuff? Why did she eventually tell you that?
                I think she was trying to do the whole 'hide behind a tree to see my shy daughter' thing lol. The trouble is I'm not that shy and like to feel in control of things that affect me- for instance the person I'm marrying. Even the other day, she was calling me innocent and we had a disagreement about it, because I kept insisting that I wasn't. I have lived alone at uni for the past five years! I do know how to manage myself

                Got to love mums!

                Comment


                • #23
                  Re: How do your own parents approach you with a proposal?

                  Originally posted by starrynight11 View Post
                  So, then how did your parents assume your response? Was it really a proposal? If it was, would they have asked you again what you thought about that person?
                  My mum just casually told me when I walked into the kitchen and I just said "ok". It was only something about her going to uni or some course or something like that. She never mentioned her again lol

                  Comment


                  • #24
                    Re: How do your own parents approach you with a proposal?

                    Originally posted by raze599 View Post
                    My mum just casually told me when I walked into the kitchen and I just said "ok". It was only something about her going to uni or some course or something like that. She never mentioned her again lol
                    Wait your mum's looking for already?? I thought paki guys were only allowed to get married once they had a job? :scratch:
                    :sub: wabihamdihi:sub:hiladheem

                    Comment


                    • #25
                      Re: How do your own parents approach you with a proposal?

                      Originally posted by rainbow*~ View Post
                      Wait your mum's looking for already?? I thought paki guys were only allowed to get married once they had a job? :scratch:
                      Shes not, I think she actually just said it casually she didnt mean anything by it. Just I thought she did lol

                      Comment


                      • #26
                        Re: How do your own parents approach you with a proposal?

                        Originally posted by starrynight11 View Post
                        lol

                        But, are parents scared of telling their kids about this stuff? Why did she eventually tell you that?



                        "The talk." (one of them, anyway, lol)
                        Yeah one of them "dad erm.. have I seen him, what does he look like?"

                        "Oh you know Mujeeb's uncles son's sheeps owners son's dads auntys nephews son yea?"

                        Er... yeah?

                        Him.

                        Oh okay.. so he doesn't have a beard.. he doesn't really pray and I heard he's had a few girlfriends erm.. why is he a good match for me again?

                        Oh come on beta, do you wanna marry a molvi?!

                        *quietly* yes
                        My Lord sanctify my flawed heart
                        As You have sanctified Your house,
                        Make my heart as protected and as honoured
                        In which permission of entry
                        Is only granted to a few,
                        Please Allah, allow my heart
                        To be preserved only for You.



                        ---


                        It hurts, to watch you leave so soon,
                        when I don't know, if I will ever see you again
                        In Jannah, we will meet :love:


                        If I have ever offended, hurt or insulted you, forgive me for the sake of Allah سبحانه وتعالى‎

                        Comment


                        • #27
                          Re: How do your own parents approach you with a proposal?

                          I dont know about my proposals, I find out through aunts :p and am like WOOT since when :/


                          parents dont tell me about them coz i am not ready yet, maybe after a year when college finishes.

                          Mum knows who i will reject and whatnot, hence she has rejected them without even telling me coz she knows how i am :p

                          well there was this proposal at work.. mum told me to tell them i dont know what marriage is, so yeh she still thinks im young

                          the brother was practising aswell. maybe in the future will see.
                          The Messenger of Allah ﷺ said: “It will be said to the companion of the Qur’an: ‘Read, and ascend, and recite as you used to recite in the [previous] world, for your status will be according to the last verse that you recite.’” [At-Tirmidhi (2914) and Abu Dawood (1464)]

                          Comment


                          • #28
                            Re: How do your own parents approach you with a proposal?

                            Originally posted by starrynight11 View Post
                            No worries. :up:

                            I guess, if you are interested in someone that may be suggested to you by your parents, you would have to take the initiative to show or tell your parents that you would like to talk to them for marriage.

                            Sometimes, I get the impression though that the two families (your's and the prospective's) already come to some sort of 'agreement' and then tell their children about a prospective. Are parents usually more direct about these kinds of things? It would be awkward if the child had to ask their parents 'was that family making an indirect proposal for me' or to be under that impression when really the families were just trying to 'brag' about their children.
                            I do think there is that 'agreement' behind the scenes but still mine wouldnt go any further without my approval so to speak

                            Like I was shown a picture of a girl once and was told a few things about her by my sister but she (potential) didnt seem Islamic enough so I just said nah and that was the end of that
                            Believe
                            there is
                            good in the world

                            Comment


                            • #29
                              Re: How do your own parents approach you with a proposal?

                              My parents don't really approach me with anything. They just reject and tell me about it months later lol.

                              Plus I've told them I don't really want to get married yet, but they're looking anyway
                              اللهُمَّ أَعِزَّ الإِسْلامَ وَالمُسْلِمِينَ

                              Comment

                              Working...
                              X