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"Yes, He is Our Husband"- A Second Wife

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  • #91
    Re: "Yes, He is Our Husband"- A Second Wife

    Originally posted by missmirah02 View Post
    Maybe the first wife didn't talk about her inner struggles to seem like a better wife
    Exactly my point. She has been taught to close her mouth and persevere, regardless of her pain.

    Seems cruel to me.

    Comment


    • #92
      Re: "Yes, He is Our Husband"- A Second Wife

      I dont know why theres an argument going on here.

      A woman who accepts polygamy and feels nothing emotionally does NOT exist (or they are very very few)
      A woman DOES feel at least somewhat bad emotionally if her husband gets another wife

      Those are things we can agree on are they not?

      HOWEVER, those two points DO NOT stop the husband from marrying again in the legal sense. It may or may not be wise to, but legally he can marry again.

      Now IF the guy gets a second wife and the first one isnt happy then she has the option to leave (in many cases). If she has nowhere to go and the guy knows full well she doesnt want him marrying a second wife then you could argue the guy is commiting oppression, even though he is legally allowed to marry a second.

      I think thats the bulk of the argument sorted.

      Comment


      • #93
        Re: "Yes, He is Our Husband"- A Second Wife

        Originally posted by one_justice View Post
        I'm sure there is data that supports such things in Muslim countries, where polygamous marriages are not the shady endeavors they are in the West. I will look for some when I have time later on today.

        If you are going to quote the hadith, please quote the hadith.

        Polygamy is a more misused form of marriage. Nobody but you talked about outlawing anything.
        again , either u can show us the statistical proofs or u need to put a lid on this hogwash ur repeating, we all know wife beating is a common thing in monogamy if compared to polygamy , cause i dont know , since we dont have any stats , lets just put that in there.

        and no , we dont need polygamy to know the shady endeavors of the west when bombing people in the name of democracy is a much more serious shady endeavor for them.

        thirdly , the hadith , i cant find it online , however i had it verified from Ali(mod).



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        • #94
          Re: "Yes, He is Our Husband"- A Second Wife

          Originally posted by noobz View Post
          again , either u can show us the statistical proofs or u need to put a lid on this hogwash ur repeating, we all know wife beating is a common thing in monogamy if compared to polygamy , cause i dont know , since we dont have any stats , lets just put that in there.

          and no , we dont need polygamy to know the shady endeavors of the west when bombing people in the name of democracy is a much more serious shady endeavor for them.

          thirdly , the hadith , i cant find it online , however i had it verified from Ali(mod).
          http://www.telegraph.co.uk/women/mot...-polygamy.html

          Comment


          • #95
            Re: "Yes, He is Our Husband"- A Second Wife

            Is that from an islamic perspective or western media

            Youtube channel - https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCYk...dE4pHzSid7Lr0w

            **** Smiling won't cost you now is it ****

            Zawjati ,“Uhibbuki mithla mâ antę” “Uhibbuki kaifamâ kunteee”“Wa mahmâ kâna mahma sâra”

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            • #96
              Re: "Yes, He is Our Husband"- A Second Wife

              Originally posted by muzzybee View Post
              Is that from an islamic perspective or western media
              It's a scientific study -_-

              Comment


              • #97
                Re: "Yes, He is Our Husband"- A Second Wife

                Originally posted by missmirah02 View Post
                It's a scientific study -_-
                : )

                Youtube channel - https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCYk...dE4pHzSid7Lr0w

                **** Smiling won't cost you now is it ****

                Zawjati ,“Uhibbuki mithla mâ antę” “Uhibbuki kaifamâ kunteee”“Wa mahmâ kâna mahma sâra”

                Comment


                • #98
                  Re: "Yes, He is Our Husband"- A Second Wife

                  Originally posted by muzzybee View Post
                  : )
                  Lol did you read it?

                  Comment


                  • #99
                    Re: "Yes, He is Our Husband"- A Second Wife

                    Originally posted by missmirah02 View Post
                    Lol did you read it?
                    No, it said telegraph so i gave up,
                    Lol

                    Youtube channel - https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCYk...dE4pHzSid7Lr0w

                    **** Smiling won't cost you now is it ****

                    Zawjati ,“Uhibbuki mithla mâ antę” “Uhibbuki kaifamâ kunteee”“Wa mahmâ kâna mahma sâra”

                    Comment


                    • Re: "Yes, He is Our Husband"- A Second Wife

                      i said this on another thread...but i hope everyone realizes that very very very very VERY few Muslim men actually go through with a polygamous marriage (especially in western countries as it is illegal here). so i dont understand why the sisters would get so worked up about it. no one is ACTUALLY gona do it.
                      "The duty of the man who investigates the writings of scientists, if learning the truth is his goal, is to make himself an enemy of all that he reads, and,.. attack it from every side. He should also suspect himself as he performs his critical examination of it, so that he may avoid falling into either prejudice or leniency."
                      -Alhazen Ibn Al-Haythem

                      Comment


                      • Re: "Yes, He is Our Husband"- A Second Wife

                        "Researchers from the University of British Columbia say that monogamous marriage has replaced polygamy because it has lower levels of inherent social problems."

                        LOL. you do realize that about 50% of married adults have admitted to Adultery during marriage, and thats just how many admitted to it not including the ones who didnt even take the survey (there was a survey and i will find it). This issue is tearing apart the family unit in society which is the fundamental building block of a civilization. the number of single parents (particularly women), divorcees, and children born out of wedlock are growing, and if this isnt an "inherent social problem" then i dont know what is.

                        this article highlights violence but not he bigger picture.


                        I believe polygamy under the right circumstances would benefit society and hence why Allah (swt) allowed it under controlled conditions. what's worse? A husband cheating on his wife, or marrying another girl and letting the wife know before hand and supporting both financially. some guys just have more "needs" than others. if marrying another wife, keeps him from committing adultery than that's better than actually doing it. atleast the family unit will still be intact.

                        this is not to say that every guy wants to engage in polygamy. some do, some don't really care about doing it.
                        Last edited by ss91; 17-11-14, 05:01 PM.
                        "The duty of the man who investigates the writings of scientists, if learning the truth is his goal, is to make himself an enemy of all that he reads, and,.. attack it from every side. He should also suspect himself as he performs his critical examination of it, so that he may avoid falling into either prejudice or leniency."
                        -Alhazen Ibn Al-Haythem

                        Comment


                        • Re: "Yes, He is Our Husband"- A Second Wife

                          Originally posted by ss91 View Post
                          "Researchers from the University of British Columbia say that monogamous marriage has replaced polygamy because it has lower levels of inherent social problems."

                          LOL. you do realize that about 50% of married adults have admitted to Adultery during marriage, and thats just how many admitted to it not including the ones who didnt even take the survey (there was a survey and i will find it). This issue is tearing apart the family unit in society which is the fundamental building block of a civilization. the number of single parents (particularly women), divorcees, and children born out of wedlock are growing, and if this isnt an "inherent social problem" then i dont know what is.

                          this article highlights violence but not he bigger picture.


                          I believe polygamy under the right circumstances would benefit society and hence why Allah (swt) allowed it under controlled conditions. what's worse? A husband cheating on his wife, or marrying another girl and letting the wife know before hand and supporting both financially. some guys just have more "needs" than others. if marrying another wife, keeps him from committing adultery than that's better than actually doing it. atleast the family unit will still be intact.

                          this is not to say that every guy wants to engage in polygamy. some do, some don't really care about doing it.
                          It doesn't matter what you believe this is a scientific study, and in monogamous marriages women cheat too, does that mean women should be allowed polygamy? Women cheat just as much as men do

                          Comment


                          • Re: "Yes, He is Our Husband"- A Second Wife

                            Originally posted by missmirah02 View Post
                            It doesn't matter what you believe this is a scientific study, and in monogamous marriages women cheat too, does that mean women should be allowed polygamy? Women cheat just as much as men do
                            I'm not attacking the study itself, im just criticizing where they claim that it has "lower levels of inherent social problems", which is up for debate depending on what they define as a "social problem"

                            No one is denying that women cheat but they do it for a completely different reason than men do. They cheat because they arent getting an emotional fulfillment from their relationship. if they arent getting attention from their guy, they are going to go find it elsewhere if they have no morals.

                            Guys cheat because either 1) their ego, 2) they dont feel "attracted" to their partner/they get bored. 3) another girl tempts them and they have no morals.

                            and just keep in mind, just because a study says its "scientific" doesnt mean its accurate. it matters how the study was done to come to that conclusion. which is why "scientific" studies are sometimes criticized by other researchers.
                            btw not sure why you are criticizing something that Allah(swt) has allowed. surely there is wisdom behind it as he is the one that created us.
                            "The duty of the man who investigates the writings of scientists, if learning the truth is his goal, is to make himself an enemy of all that he reads, and,.. attack it from every side. He should also suspect himself as he performs his critical examination of it, so that he may avoid falling into either prejudice or leniency."
                            -Alhazen Ibn Al-Haythem

                            Comment


                            • Re: "Yes, He is Our Husband"- A Second Wife

                              Originally posted by one_justice View Post
                              Just because you slam an 'ukhti' at the end of what you say, does not excuse the fact that you obviously have little regard for the trials and tribulations a woman encounters in polygamy. You have shrugged this off on more than one occasion, in preference of this most unlikely story. This story gives nothing of the first wife's inner struggles and just because she is trying to do what she sees as right, her actual pain is forgotten and ignored.

                              No wonder women in polygamy make noise.
                              Having suspicions of a believer without evidence is a sin and you are accusing me of something I'm not doing.

                              I have done that because Rasulullah :saw: asked us to avoid arguing unnecessarily. You can interpret what I say however you want, once again, you will be held accountable for everything you say. Speak more carefully please.

                              Keep in mind the hadith of what Rasulullah :saw: says leads people to hell with. Saying one wrong word can land us in the wrong place.
                              Last edited by |Abdur Raheem|; 17-11-14, 05:24 PM.
                              [SIZE=4][COLOR="#FF0000"][FONT=Book Antiqua][CENTER][B][URL="http://www.ummah.com/forum/showthread.php?459504-Immensely-rewarding-dhikr!!!&highlight="]IMMENSELY REWARDING DHIKR!!![/URL][/B][/CENTER][/FONT][/COLOR][/SIZE]

                              [FONT=Book Antiqua][SIZE=4][COLOR="#2F4F4F"][CENTER]Before you post, think..."Will this help me when I stand before Allah?" If it doesn't, then you're wasting time....[/CENTER][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT]

                              Comment


                              • Re: "Yes, He is Our Husband"- A Second Wife

                                Asked a mod to close the thread. Because the highlighted line in the OP was ignored once again. I didn't want any arguments from this thread.

                                Nor did I encourage polygamy or say that we should all have more poly marriages.
                                Last edited by |Abdur Raheem|; 17-11-14, 05:28 PM.
                                [SIZE=4][COLOR="#FF0000"][FONT=Book Antiqua][CENTER][B][URL="http://www.ummah.com/forum/showthread.php?459504-Immensely-rewarding-dhikr!!!&highlight="]IMMENSELY REWARDING DHIKR!!![/URL][/B][/CENTER][/FONT][/COLOR][/SIZE]

                                [FONT=Book Antiqua][SIZE=4][COLOR="#2F4F4F"][CENTER]Before you post, think..."Will this help me when I stand before Allah?" If it doesn't, then you're wasting time....[/CENTER][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT]

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