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How to make someone get the hint that you don't wanna marry them without being mean

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  • #16
    Re: How to make someone get the hint that you don't wanna marry them without being me

    Originally posted by Salams2All View Post
    Okay I'll try inshaAllah.

    Seriously make dua for me guys.
    But before you do anything though actually, and since you seem a bit unsure about it, maybe you should consider praying Istikhara first. You don't want to reject something that might be good for you in the future...
    Life's actually pretty simple: you just have to enjoy it, pray, do good, refrain from bad, and respect others. Being Muslim is not a disadvantage or an advantage - it's a responsibility.
    "So patiently persevere: for verily the promise of Allah is true" (Qur'an, Surah Ar-Rum - 30:60)

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    • #17
      Re: How to make someone get the hint that you don't wanna marry them without being me

      Originally posted by starrynight11 View Post
      But before you do anything though actually, and since you seem a bit unsure about it, maybe you should consider praying Istikhara first. You don't want to reject something that might be good for you in the future...
      I'm as sure as sure can be, but I'll pray istikhara because maybe what I think is right isn't actually right.

      Ibn Umar was asked, “Did the sahaba laugh?” He said, “Yes, and the faith in their hearts was like mountains.”

      "You can not be the ummah that will call the world to goodness if you hate everybody else" - Nouman Ali Khan

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      • #18
        Re: How to make someone get the hint that you don't wanna marry them without being me

        In all honesty you can't. It'll all depend on how that guy and his family take it. You can say it in the nicest way, normal way or harass way, but they can take it bad either way.

        At the end do what you want if you don't want to say it to them nicely, they can take out however your intention or your way of saying it wasn't wrong.
        Last edited by Winter; 11-11-14, 08:27 AM.

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        • #19
          Re: How to make someone get the hint that you don't wanna marry them without being me

          Originally posted by |Abdur Raheem| View Post
          I feel you are more compatible with someone else.
          I mean...say this to him
          [SIZE=4][COLOR="#FF0000"][FONT=Book Antiqua][CENTER][B][URL="http://www.ummah.com/forum/showthread.php?459504-Immensely-rewarding-dhikr!!!&highlight="]IMMENSELY REWARDING DHIKR!!![/URL][/B][/CENTER][/FONT][/COLOR][/SIZE]

          [FONT=Book Antiqua][SIZE=4][COLOR="#2F4F4F"][CENTER]Before you post, think..."Will this help me when I stand before Allah?" If it doesn't, then you're wasting time....[/CENTER][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT]

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          • #20
            Re: How to make someone get the hint that you don't wanna marry them without being me

            Originally posted by Salams2All View Post
            :salams

            So this person I knew since the seventh grade has been hinting that he wants to marry me. I've been hinting that I don't want to. He started messaging me on twitter, and I told him I don't feel comfortable talking to guys on twitter. He deleted the messages, so I thought it was over, but then today his mom and sister were sitting in my living room. I didn't know they were his mom and sister until they mentioned it. Nobody brought up marriage in front of me but I was questioned. When they were speaking to my mom though all they were talking about was marriage, and me.

            Guys this is really awkward for me.. like really awkward and frustrating. How do I tell them I'm not interested?

            Btw I know I made a leaving thread and everything, but this is an emergency okay :cower:
            And you guys are like marriage experts.
            just tell your parents no, end of. Some guys just need to be told straight, if you sugar coat it or try not to hurt his feelings he may just feel there is something else there, and so keep trying.
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            • #21
              Re: How to make someone get the hint that you don't wanna marry them without being me

              You need to be straight with him. No sugar coating , no hints etc. He might keep trying if you try to be nice and that will hurt him more in the long run.
              [FONT=Century Gothic][COLOR="#0066ff"][SIZE=4] We're all a little broken in our own little way and the last time I checked, broken crayons still colour the same...[/SIZE][/COLOR][/FONT]

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              • #22
                Re: How to make someone get the hint that you don't wanna marry them without being me

                Originally posted by HopefulOne View Post
                You need to be straight with him. No sugar coating , no hints etc. He might keep trying if you try to be nice and that will hurt him more in the long run.
                This.

                At least for me this is exactly how my mind works :rotfl:

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                • #23
                  Re: How to make someone get the hint that you don't wanna marry them without being me

                  ...By firstly being absolutely clear in what YOU want and then expressing that unambiguously to all interested parties.

                  Dilly-dallying is where the hurt can come from.

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                  • #24
                    Re: How to make someone get the hint that you don't wanna marry them without being me

                    Best to be upfront about these things. Hinting at it doesn't work with some people, who may think you are just playing hard to get.
                    Simply saying "Listen, I don't want to marry you" will work wonders. :up:
                    You are not aware of the consequences that would result (if you were granted what you desire) because what you seek might be to your detriment. (O soul) be conscious that your Master is more aware about your well-being than you are.

                    ~Ibn Al-Jawzee

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                    • #25
                      Re: How to make someone get the hint that you don't wanna marry them without being me

                      Originally posted by Ebony View Post
                      Best to be upfront about these things. Hinting at it doesn't work with some people, who may think you are just playing hard to get.
                      Simply saying "Listen, I don't want to marry you" will work wonders. :up:
                      well, if he's delluded he may take that as playing hard to get!

                      I think sister should quickly find a suitable partner and send him wedding invite.. if that doesn't push him off nothing will.
                      "The objective behind Shari'ah is to liberate individuals from his desires in order to be a true Abd (slave) of Allah and that is the legitimate Maslaha... Violating the Shari'ah under the pretext of following Maqasid al-Shari'ah is like the one who cares about the spirit without the body and since the body without the spirit is useless therefore the spirit without the body is useless too." ~ Imam Shatibi - The greatest intellectual founder of Maqasid al-Shari'ah

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                      • #26
                        Re: How to make someone get the hint that you don't wanna marry them without being me

                        Originally posted by Salman Al-Farsi View Post
                        well, if he's delluded he may take that as playing hard to get!

                        I think sister should quickly find a suitable partner and send him wedding invite.. if that doesn't push him off nothing will.
                        That would be sad lol

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                        • #27
                          Re: How to make someone get the hint that you don't wanna marry them without being me

                          Just be like, listen, dude, if you were the last man on this earth, I would make hijra to Mars.















                          lool jk
                          O people who take pleasure in a life that will vanish, falling in love with a fading shadow is sheer stupidity~ Ibn Qayyim Al-Jawziyya

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                          • #28
                            Re: How to make someone get the hint that you don't wanna marry them without being me

                            Salaam aleykoum sis, some people just don't get hints.
                            So in this case I advice you to be upfront, and I don't see why that is mean. Just don't insult him or his family.
                            Be honest, but friendly.
                            Forgiving others is not a weakness.
                            It takes a strong person to forgive.

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                            • #29
                              Re: How to make someone get the hint that you don't wanna marry them without being me

                              Originally posted by Salams2All View Post
                              :salams

                              So this person I knew since the seventh grade has been hinting that he wants to marry me. I've been hinting that I don't want to. He started messaging me on twitter, and I told him I don't feel comfortable talking to guys on twitter. He deleted the messages, so I thought it was over, but then today his mom and sister were sitting in my living room. I didn't know they were his mom and sister until they mentioned it. Nobody brought up marriage in front of me but I was questioned. When they were speaking to my mom though all they were talking about was marriage, and me.

                              Guys this is really awkward for me.. like really awkward and frustrating. How do I tell them I'm not interested?

                              Btw I know I made a leaving thread and everything, but this is an emergency okay :cower:
                              And you guys are like marriage experts.
                              There is no easy way.

                              If you reject someone that person is bound to feel bad.

                              That is how the world is.

                              Just say it directly that I am not interested in marrying you. Cut to Cut.

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                              • #30
                                Re: How to make someone get the hint that you don't wanna marry them without being me

                                Originally posted by Salams2All View Post
                                :salams

                                So this person I knew since the seventh grade has been hinting that he wants to marry me. I've been hinting that I don't want to. He started messaging me on twitter, and I told him I don't feel comfortable talking to guys on twitter. He deleted the messages, so I thought it was over, but then today his mom and sister were sitting in my living room. I didn't know they were his mom and sister until they mentioned it. Nobody brought up marriage in front of me but I was questioned. When they were speaking to my mom though all they were talking about was marriage, and me.

                                Guys this is really awkward for me.. like really awkward and frustrating. How do I tell them I'm not interested?

                                Btw I know I made a leaving thread and everything, but this is an emergency okay :cower:
                                And you guys are like marriage experts.
                                Just tell him/his family that you are seriously not interested. Why are you even talking to the guy? It may be giving him mixed signals and also increasing his affection for you. The best thing is to tell him clearly that you aren't interested (if you are absolutely not interested) and to stop all conversation with him.

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